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So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/23/2006 2:54:02 PM

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So we're Switches here, each with our own buttons to push, own tendancies and such. So what is it that causes your switch? What is it that gets you thinking, Dom, or sub, masochist or sadist? And when both sides are fired up, if they ever are, how do you deal with that internal warfare? Both....neither.....one and deny the other?

Is it gender, personality, the way someone walks and moves?

Or are you either sub or Dom with a few things you must do the other at? People you will Switch with, people you are one sided with?

Just for fun folks. No flames please.

......................................................
I honestly don't know what causes my switch, when or why, just that it happens and randomly, and usually from Dom to sub. Many times I'm neither.

Although the masochist will melt inside me once a whip (general use term) is out. The sadist has to wait to wield later as I throughly enjoy my floggings. This is of course dependant on who is wielding it. I don't present my back for just anyone. (Yes my S&M can be independant of D/s and usually is.)

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/23/2006 3:53:56 PM

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I switch for no reason at all. Honestly though, I think it has something to do with my monthly cycle, although I haven't kept track of it well enough to know for sure.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/23/2006 8:52:52 PM

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hmmm when I switch it is due to trust and a certain type ...quiet/shy smart bespectaled geeks with long hair and goatees, think Giles from buffy but with long hair

its odd I call myself a Dom but I do like switching. With me I think it is the reaction to that type of guy, the "hidden" top; its the whole still waters running deep and dommy... i

(in reply to siamsa24)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/23/2006 9:05:48 PM

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Well, my subbie side come out easily with a strong commanding woman ... thouhg I test sincereity. If she puts me in my place right away, I am there.

My Domly side rarely comes out, but I find that it comes out much more when I am teaching.

fergus

(in reply to Dollbecky)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/24/2006 4:55:11 AM

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What causes me to ID as a switch is simply the lack of a better definition in the system. Also i have stressed that I am totally new to all this. Bondage, tv/ts/cd interest have all come into my head within the last 3 yrs-I haven't acted on these desires because, quite frankly, I do not know where to go. A friend told me about this site, and so here i am. I've been reading many posts and it makes my head spin with all the salacious interests of other members! I've aquired a few new behaviors, based on ideas gleaned here. When I was a kid, discovering what masturbation was, I frequently shot allover my face, trying to catch as much as I could in my mouth. I've resumed this. Also, I have started to occasionally use a butt plug-although I've had only 1 anal orgasm, wow, it was soooo intense-it kept recurring on it's own for several hours. Also I've started shaving my rig-outside of the very pleasant smooth feeling, it makes my cock fel 10 feet long when I masturbate. Also, I've started to wear panties occasionally-and it is such a turn on. So that's why-I am confused as to who/what i am and am dying to find out.

(in reply to fergus)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/24/2006 5:06:36 AM

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This may sound strange but when its time for my period to start I get kinda subbie. I used to think it was hogwash until I started monitoring it on the calendar.It only lasts for a couple of days and its gone. Then the PMS sets in and then I'm back to the leather clad woman with whip in hand.

~Alexa

_____________________________

Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
Patricia Sampson

(in reply to nopainnogain1)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/24/2006 5:22:11 AM

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The one thing thats absolutely guarenteed to make me go dom is to finish a subbing scene with me tied up, and my top looking the other way. If it's been a good sesh, then subbie me curls up and goes to sleep, and Dom me slips the ropes, and turns the tables.

With boys, I do with the seme/uke yaoi thing (taller one is always the dom).
With girls, It's pretty much a fight to see who's on top. which is usually half the fun.

]V[

(in reply to MistressAlexaS)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/25/2006 3:16:43 PM

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quote:

I switch for no reason at all. Honestly though, I think it has something to do with my monthly cycle, although I haven't kept track of it well enough to know for sure.

That is how it is for me. When I get near a certain time in my cycle I just seem to be very mellow and submissive. But then when I reach the week where I ovulate...watch out because the other side is coming out.

(in reply to RubberWitch)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/25/2006 11:44:24 PM

classykindasassy

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Interesting - I can only speculate because I've never actually taken that toy out of the box.

I'm a sub, who has a dominant personality in my everyday life. I could never top my Dom, but...there are times when I see people getting dom/med that I think I'd like to try my hand at letting some meanness come out. I love to be flogged so I have an appreciation for what it is to want a good flogging. I think I could satisify and it would be fun to take it on. To dish out a bit of what I love to take. I recently watched a lady dig her high heels into this guy's back and he was loving it. There were times I wanted to take my shoe and beat the living hell out of my ex with the spike. THAT was not an enjoyable thought as jail is not my thing. But, for FUN? Heck yeah.

I remember a day when my hubby doing the dishes felt like foreplay...what about the WHOLE HOUSE??? My God, maybe I'm onto something...<swishes flogger and swats thigh with it>

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to LadyCompassion)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/26/2006 12:09:47 AM

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quote:

What is it that gets you thinking, Dom, or sub, masochist or sadist?

Opportunity. :) I belong to Himself completely, but there is a nasty sadist which lurks inside the totally devoted slave. If we are playing with someone and Himself allows it, ::and the bottom says yes:: I'm delighted to bring out ol' Sadie and let her have at it.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/26/2006 8:29:17 AM

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i could never switch with the same person. I could never try to top my Dom, and i could never submit to my submissive. I think i am definately more submissive, or rather the submissive aspect fufills me more, but i do enjoy topping and that is what my husband needs. So i fufill his needs. So its more that certain people flip that switch. Certain people and the relationships that have been develped.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/26/2006 3:34:35 PM

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quote:

i could never switch with the same person.

Yeah, I hear that. I know people who do, but I think I'd have a mental block, not to mention a quick funeral if I tried it with Himself. lol

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to justatoy2)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/26/2006 7:31:59 PM

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I just couldn't switch gears that fast.

Bless me, but I'm just not all that bright ;)

fergus

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/26/2006 8:24:54 PM

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Gosh, my kindof Switch must be rather rare then.

I switch so quickly it is amazing. Skunk and I take turns topping, often within minutes of each session, sometimes during the same activity. Overall though, I'm Dom. I only randomly feel submissive enough to serve him, but Im usually masochistic enough to give into when he is feeling sadistic. We will figure out exactly what dynamic we have when he moves in.

As it is, we are just very good friends with S&M play, but how he was talking to me today has me thinking he might be getting deeper feelings about me and may wish to serve me wholly.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to fergus)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/27/2006 10:08:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Slipstreme

Gosh, my kindof Switch must be rather rare then.

I switch so quickly it is amazing. Skunk and I take turns topping, often within minutes of each session, sometimes during the same activity. Overall though, I'm Dom. I only randomly feel submissive enough to serve him, but Im usually masochistic enough to give into when he is feeling sadistic. We will figure out exactly what dynamic we have when he moves in.

As it is, we are just very good friends with S&M play, but how he was talking to me today has me thinking he might be getting deeper feelings about me and may wish to serve me wholly.

I don't think your brand is all THAT rare. Even though I can not do that well, I can TOTALLY see the appeal of it!

fergus

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/28/2006 5:37:34 AM

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For me, it depends on who I'm around mostly. There are some people in my life that I just feel submissive to. Those people are usually the ones I wish I was more like, the ones I try to emulate because I just find them so interesting and impressive. Then there are others that I feel dominant over, not because I find them less impressive or interesting but because their personality is far more submissive than mine. I love both sets of people dearly. Then, there are those rare people that I can show both sides to which is always far more fun to me. I know one person who is submissive in bed normally but when I'm around he turns very dominant. I like that about him a lot. I've been told, by a mutual friend, that he enjoys this. I really odn't know why he hasn't been able to tell me this himself though.

_____________________________

There are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet.

(in reply to fergus)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/28/2006 12:37:30 PM

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I identify as a switch, because I embody both dominance and submission, both sadism and masochism.

But I don't "switch".

I am everything I am, at all times.

In some *relationships*, I am dominant. In some *relationships*, I'm submission. It depends on the person.

I can be in the same space with both relationships at the same time - and I'm no different. I can be Sir's submissive and dominant to another *at the same time*, *in the same place*. I can be a sadist and a masochist *at the same time*, *in the same scene*.

I am everything I am, at all times.

Think of it like a middle manager, in a meeting with her employees and her boss. She is both employer and employee, *at the same time*. She is not switching between the two.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/28/2006 9:22:51 PM

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I started out just identifying as a submissive. As I have grown in the lifestyle I find that I get an equal amount of enjoyment out of Topping. At first Sir told me not to worry too much about labels and to just enjoy exploring the lifestyle. Once I had a submissive start to give up control, I have been hooked.

I can be in full Domme mode and then just switch over to the receiving end. I have a couple of friends who are also Switches and I have been in both roles with them. Makes for a lot of fun and opportunity. :)

As for triggers.....not really sure about that as a number of scenes just happened at the spur of the moment.

I do enjoy co-Topping with my Sir. It gives him an opportunity to both teach me and see me apply what I have learned.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/28/2006 10:51:47 PM

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it depends on the situation, and the sex. i have a harder time getting it up with guys (i think it's an assosiation thing, most of my flings with guys ended badly), so i'm often the bottom there simply because it's no longer an issue of they put it in my ass..i'm at attention no matter what. with girls..it depends on if they're of similar height to me, and if they look very womanly, the womanly they are, the more likely they are to be dommed. with guys again, i often take the top role just cause they're so much easier to stimulate, a much simpler machine, which make is more fun.

(in reply to RosesInChains)

RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 1/29/2006 9:03:24 AM

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I was just talking about this very thing last night with my sub as we were going to a private play party. I was musing about what causes me to switch. For me it's both the person I'm with and my mood. Some people are just so Dom/me that it lets me go to my sub energy, and others are just so submissive that I can only feel my Domme energy with them. Then there are other switches....

I have one switch I've played with who is like me and can switch back and forth many times while in a session. I like it because it kind of takes my breath away to be switching back and forth so quickly within a short period of time. However, most of the time I sit in my Domme energy. My sub only comes out to play under the circumstances previously stated.

Thanks for asking this question. I've been wondering about it myself.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

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