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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:08:50 PM

lovingpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: topleaseyou555

i am not here to whine

Ummmm.... Okay

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:10:31 PM

lovingpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
That's your concern???? That you sold someone out? Not your safety, sanity, or what kind of future you may have with this woman?
lovingpet
I agree, though it was I who said he's selling her out. It's true I don't care for men who kiss and tell... More importantly though, if a 47yo, of sound mind and body, plays with someone who is excessively under the influence and out of control, and he wants to do it again, he has a bigger problem than the fact that she drank and beat him a little too hard, requiring fem sub to save him.

My point is that topleaseyou555 needs to know the answer to this, and if he chooses to do this again, get his head checked by a professional. M

Okay, thanks for clarifying because I had completely mistaken your first post. I can agree with this.

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:18:12 PM

topleaseyou555

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let's all just forget about this, i have made up my mind, been ran over the coals by some pretty self righteous people, i'm am glad that by me being not real bright some of you got to feel real smart, .......................go hang your phd on the outhouse

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:22:29 PM

LadyLupineNYC

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You know, that attitude is very nasty and no one who posted here deserved it. There has been actually legitimate concern about your emotional and physical safety and this is your return attitude?

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:24:18 PM

Lockit

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He asked for us to give it to him... if this is all he can take.. I really have to wonder how bad that drunken beating was.

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:26:14 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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Maybe as you asked, it wasn't her who was drunk.

M

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Post #: 26

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:29:25 PM

topleaseyou555

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i apologise, i am sorry, i knew i made a mistake and now all i have done is compound it, i have seven years sober and thought i had more control over the situation than i did, just wanted to verbalise it and felt attacked, feeling a bit defensive, i hthank you for your input and meant no disrspect

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:32:37 PM

Lockit

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If you have seven years sober... then you know better than to yoke yourself to someone drinking and beating. Go to a meeting and get some support... but she needs to find her own path without you in it to take what she dishes out.

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:33:43 PM

LadyLupineNYC

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That is fine (apology accepted).

I do strongly suggest that the reaction you had on this thread speaks volumes about the potential for this being a toxic relationship, esp if you are struggling to remain sober yourself and she is a bad influence. The moth may go to the flame, but that is not to say the flame is so great for the well-being of the moth.

LL, who, for the record, only has two lowly Master's degrees and no PhD let alone an outhouse as those are frowned upon in NYC...unless you count the subways...

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:33:51 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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Dear topleaseyou555,
I'm sorry we stepped all over a sore subject for you.
You need to take a deep breath, maybe sleep, and read all of the advice again.
Good luck, M

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:43:14 PM

lovingpet

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Please just take a step back and really think about this. I meant no ill will. It is rare I am ever like this on the boards, but I usually have a fairly decent reason. I hope things will look a little clearer and you can come to some firm decisions soon. All my best!

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:52:17 PM

BohemianGoddess

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A little bit tipsy is one thing but for her to have been drunk was no good dude. She should know better and made a bad choice. Even though it sounds like you liked it, hearing that her female sub had to pretty much save your ass is not cool at all. If you choose to be with this woman again you will have alot of talking to do beforehand. Please make sure alcohol is not involved if you do so, I'd hate to read about a sub beaten to death in the paper.

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 9:24:18 PM

ShaktiSama

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Drunken dominants are second only to drunk drivers on the list of frighteningly irresponsible douchebags. I would advise you to run, not walk to the nearest exit and never contact this person again. Some submissive/masochistic personalities are very dangerously prone to codependency.

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Post #: 33

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 10:00:59 PM

subinchico

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

It's not Haha, it's the price you pay when you play a little tipsy with someone you aren't familiar with, and prepared to deal with the outcome.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with drinking and playing around- but I only do it with C, who I've been with for over a yearish now. We have 'fight nights' where it's no protocol, no rules... just don't step on the cat, and stay away from the window. (Eep)

She beat you, you liked it. At the time of the incident, everyone was happy- it's not her fault you changed your mind. Now that things have changed, you just need to talk to her, and perhaps get to know each other a little better before you play again. Communication is key- if you 'want' to go to AA, go- but if it was just a little too much to drink, and she was a little heavy handed... who cares?

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Post #: 34

RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 2:11:09 AM

LadyPact

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Geez. Anybody want to borrow the cross in My pic so someone can be officially nailed to it? (Sorry, but it's early and that was My first thought.)

What I'm really hearing through the thread is the concern you have with seven years sobriety becoming actively involved with someone who doesn't refrain from drinking, at least in your company. If you're looking to build a relationship with this person, you've got some serious questions to ask yourself. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to run them by your sponsor, too, while you're at it.

The OP really is kind of vague about whether the issue was the fact that the beating went too far because the alcohol was involved or if you're concern is that you might 'slip' because of the company you're keeping. Through the thread, there were some phrases used that make Me wonder which of the two is the case.

It sounds like you've talked to this person after the incident and worked a couple of things out. In your case, one of them probably should be negotiating whether or not she should be drinking while the two of you are spending time together. From the impression that I'm getting, I think she's willing to be supportive of you and your program. I think you and I would both agree that is a must.

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RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 4:12:06 AM

InTonguesslave

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i see it like this: she has promised PROMISED to be sober next time and has appologised. so fine. you take a firm grip of youreself and state clearly that if she gets drunk again its a deal breaker and you walk. simples!

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RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 4:18:32 AM

lilsubrt

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topleaseyou555,

    Dude don't feel as if you are being raked over the embers. What seems to be happening here is a lot of people are rallying to your Defense, they don't want to find out you've become a statistic. There, from what can be gleamed, Are Enough Issues here to fill a small canyon. Look at them one by one and perhaps they will become a little more clear for you.

    Let it be said that, YOUR SAFETY Is PARAMOUNT, ALWAYS, PERIOD, and That is to be said in Every Context. Your physical safety with the beating, your emotional safety with alcohol ( apparently you've had at least some degree of trouble before ), etc. etc, etc.Again Dude, Examine each of these issues individually and Hopefully they will become more clearly defined for you. Look at this next phrase with Great interest, FOR GOD'S SAKE BE SAFE. Late night Runs to the Emergency Room Are No Fun !!!!!!

    Oh, One Last Bit of Advice, you Can't Come In Here To These Boards And Lack A Thick Skin. You opened yourself up for everything that has been said here by....... Posting it here. You should have known the job was Dangerous when you took it, is what comes to mind. It's a Tough Place Sometimes !!!!!

    Good Luck Dude and may You Find the Wisdom To make the Right Choice for Youself,

    Best To All,

    lilsubrt, aka-sassy

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RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 4:23:59 AM

LadyLupineNYC

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First, I'm in complete agreement with Lynnxz reply here. I/we party hard and then play extremely hard/dangerously even and love it! Sure, I have scars, so what! I think the OP sceen was erotic! I want more details!

As someone who also uses RACK and who plays very hard (I canned a guys ass bloody twice at a party this past sunday) what is being talking about here is NOT hot, esp. as negative past emotions were involved. Playing hard still should, (esp should!) require the d-type to be sober so that they can safely assess the changing situations. The woman is this situation was not about to do that and thus failed in her number one respinsibility; to her charge. The fact that female submissive had to take on her role is all the more telling since it means that she recognized that this was an dangerious and abnormal situation.

< Message edited by LadyLupineNYC -- 4/1/2009 4:25:13 AM >

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RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 6:19:39 AM

Kaiel

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I am an addiction therapist, it's what I do for a living and have to highly recommend that you do as other posters suggested, get to a meeting, find some support for yourself. The Domme and the situation really aren't My issue or concern for you, your sobriety is.... hanging with anyone that drinking and putting you at jeopardy for a relapse is never a good thing. Run don't walk to your nearest AA meeting, and then let the "Domme' know that you can't interact with her, if she can't TOTALLY refrain from drinking. (Just My Opinion)

good luck!!

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RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 9:49:13 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The OP really is kind of vague about whether the issue was the fact that the beating went too far because the alcohol was involved or if you're concern is that you might 'slip' because of the company you're keeping. Through the thread, there were some phrases used that make Me wonder which of the two is the case.

The two are not mutually exclusive. The main thing that tripped my alarm in the OP was the idea of a drunken beating that goes too far and has to be stopped by a third party. I found the phrase "saved me" to be very telling--it made it sound as if this woman had already gone too far and still had no intention of stopping.

The manipulative promises this woman made to go to AA before this incident even occurred also set my alarm bells ringing. Sounds pretty familiar to me--abusive addicts are always promising to go to rehab or a 12-step program, it's how they reassure their victims about their good intentions.

The people who are not distinguishing here between playing hard and playing drunk might be missing the point somewhat--can't say. I guess the only thing I'd really like to get across to the OP is that if he likes to be beaten hard, he still doesn't have to be beaten by a drunk.

There are plenty of clean and sober dommes in the world who will happily beat him black and blue, who know when to stop without having to be forcibly restrained, and who care about the bad feelings that surface sometimes for their submissives, and will try to help him through them.

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