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RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 3:07:21 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2007
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thank you to all who contributed, i did not handle myself well, yes i will see this person again, and we have set some strong boundaries

thank you once again , and im sorry if i got rude and ungrateful

upon looking it all over this morning, i thank you all for your concern

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

RE: dangerous - 4/1/2009 11:17:25 PM

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Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: topleaseyou555

thank you to all who contributed, i did not handle myself well, yes i will see this person again, and we have set some strong boundaries

thank you once again , and im sorry if i got rude and ungrateful

upon looking it all over this morning, i thank you all for your concern

Hello topleaseyou,

I wonder what you expected from this question on the forum?

Despite all the great advice you got here,
you're a stuborn lad, and still want to go
there again, with someone who wasn't
consentual with you. you're old enough
to know what alcohol can do, and since
you've said your sober for 7 years
you damn well know how that can B.

So it's not lack of experience on your
side to know how or what, is it?

I wonder what your motivation is to go back there.
I know one can't force their opinion upon someone else,
we can give our opinion, and it's still up to you,
what it is that you're going to do with it...

And you're telling what you're going to do with it..

So back to My first question, why did you
ask about it on the forum?

There is another thread about too much baggage,
this is for Me typical a case of too much !

B safe

GoddezzT`

p.s. There are more fish in the sea out there !!

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(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 3:52:50 AM

Posts: 119
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline

Please allow me to love my kink/fetish that involves risk of death in which alcohol intensifies my excitement therein. When you judge me/others it makes me think you have way too much time on your hands. The internet, like anything, should be played with in moderation, as it can become an unhealthy addiction.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

First, I'm in complete agreement with Lynnxz reply here. I/we party hard and then play extremely hard/dangerously even and love it! Sure, I have scars, so what! I think the OP sceen was erotic! I want more details!

As someone who also uses RACK and who plays very hard (I canned a guys ass bloody twice at a party this past sunday) what is being talking about here is NOT hot, esp. as negative past emotions were involved. Playing hard still should, (esp should!) require the d-type to be sober so that they can safely assess the changing situations. The woman is this situation was not about to do that and thus failed in her number one respinsibility; to her charge. The fact that female submissive had to take on her role is all the more telling since it means that she recognized that this was an dangerious and abnormal situation.

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RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 4:12:45 AM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
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The internet, like anything, should be played with in moderation...

Except for your kink, naturally. Feel free to wonder over the the BDSM in the news and look at the cases of drugs and alcohol fixing poorly with play. Would you prefer the woman filled with her partner passed out drunk and she asphyxiated? Of the 16 year old who stabbed the news reported 50 times during a coke-binged session? I hope you partner has a great lawer for the 'uh oh' moment.

My profile even directly states that the kind of s-types I seek are looking for and know the 'fear and rush of death'. Apparently, I have had no problem bringing those emotions out without the use of alcohol. In fact, I have been told in past the stone cold manner during more aggressive scenes has prove far more frightening because I appear so in control.

This is not about judgment so much as it is about safety. It is one thing to be 'risk aware' because you feel that SSC is for those needing training wheels but that involves accepting great responsibility as well. Go ahead, love your fetish (hey, if people into things like dismemberment, ums, and 'actual' rape can love it I should have to accept it too), but 'tsktsking' someone because they have the audacity to care about people not putting themselves in a situation where things like the 'safeword' can't be heard over the roaring din of belligerent-making alcohol? Now THERE is something to MAKE the time for.

< Message edited by LadyLupineNYC -- 4/2/2009 4:15:49 AM >

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RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 8:04:45 AM

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subinchico

Please allow me to love my kink/fetish that involves risk of death in which alcohol intensifies my excitement therein.

The fact that you are turned on by something has nothing to do with how risky it is. I have nothing against edgy, risky play, but I would have difficulty respecting someone whose decision to engage in such play wasn't informed in part by a rational assessment of said risks. Sexual behavior of any kind, untempered by rational though, is as as likely to be self-destructive as it is self-fulfilling.

In short, your submission/masochism/whatever doesn't make you incapable of doing stupid shit.

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RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 9:32:29 AM

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Joined: 2/13/2009
Status: offline

I think, that beeing under the influence of alcohol during the edge play, really isn't very good idea. Sure, it can sound like fun and it can actually be fun, but only as long, as nothing wrong is happening. It's far too much risky and in my opinion, it's not worthy of exposing yourself to a serious jeopardy.

While edge play, both sides should be sober and fully aware of their own actions. And the D-side in particular.

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RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 10:11:48 AM

crazyredhead1957

Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
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All i can say to this is, i would not let myself be at the mercy of Anyone Who was under the influence of mind-altering substances. There is no way of knowing ahead of time what will happen and if i did put myself in that situation, i've got no one but myself to blame for the results.....and i sure as hell would not want to find out what they are!!

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 10:41:30 AM

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

O snap, the safety police.

I still don't know how everyone is crying "OH! ABUSE! PANIC!!!" when he SAID in the first post that he enjoyed it at the time.

You're an adult! Act like one!

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RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 10:43:46 AM

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Joined: 8/13/2007
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"Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity."

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-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to crazyredhead1957)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 11:08:04 AM

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Drinking and playing a little grabass is not stupid. Neither is jumping out of a plane, motorcross, or doing other various acts with the full knowledge of what you are doing, and accepting the 'risk'

Stay in the slow lane, it doesn't bother me, but don't make snippy little remarks to the people wizzing by in the fast lane because they've got to be somewhere.

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HBIC

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 11:19:22 AM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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I don't think anyone was upset about edge play. I think what people resonded to was drunken edge play with someone not well known to him, that had to be stopped in saving the submissive to protect him. Now that is something that deserves comment in my opinion. If it were not a problem for the edge playing submissive, why would he start a thread about it? So he didn't see it as serious a problem as some did... oh well, okay... do what you will, but we still have an opinion on a public thread about such behavior and what we think about it. He did ask. lol

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(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 11:21:56 AM

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From: Atlanta
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That's my point, he CLEARLY said he enjoyed it at the time of the incident.

I get the feeling the whole story is not being told.

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 11:24:31 AM

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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Beyond what I consider acceptable risk but I've done things that others would say the same about.
As long as you're taking responsibility for your choices and actions, rock on.
Davan

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RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 1:04:30 PM

crazyredhead1957

Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

O snap, the safety police.

I still don't know how everyone is crying "OH! ABUSE! PANIC!!!" when he SAID in the first post that he enjoyed it at the time.

You're an adult! Act like one!

Sorry i offended. Yes, he did say he enjoyed it, and that's a good thing. i just wouldn't have done it, but it wasn't me & i'm glad he had a good experience.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 1:10:56 PM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: topleaseyou555

she was drunk, i let her beat me a bit too much, i liked it, we are going to meet again, she said she was sorry, i really liked her and her female sub(who basically saved me), i am willing to try again, am i an idiot, , it brought back old bad memories from when i wad a younger man, i really liked her and think it was a mistake my fault more than hers..........should i give it another whirl, shr promised to be sober and said she would go to aa with me, she said that after a couple of days after our meeting, i feel like a idiot because it happened so fast, just looking for some feedback, trying to process it all thaks for your time everybody, and if you feel inclined, let me have what you really think, i;m going to shower, then see what ya'll have to say

How is a drunk person going to handle flash backs.. emotional stuff bubbling up and what could result from this? That is real emotional edge play and kudo's to those who would go there... but I am sticking with my stance of no harm, no foul. Then add to it he blames himself... I wouldn't touch that in 'play' unless I was prepared and drunk... I would not be prepared, especially if I needed another submissive to temper me.

A couple drinks for someone that doesn't get drunk on a couple.. cool... I have done that with milder play... but.. no way am I messing with the head unless I have my head on.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 2:59:22 PM

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Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline

To attempt to control anyone or anything while not in complete control of yourself amounts to criminal stupidity. If you're driving, they call it DUI. To allow anyone not in complete control of themselves to have contol of anything or anyone else amonts to criminal stupidity-accessory to the fact. That the person was yourself allows karmic justice to occur, with the concomitant awakening to what you have done, and hopefully the resolution to never allow it again

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 3:30:55 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Drinking and playing a little grabass is not stupid. Neither is jumping out of a plane, motorcross, or doing other various acts with the full knowledge of what you are doing, and accepting the 'risk'

Stay in the slow lane, it doesn't bother me, but don't make snippy little remarks to the people wizzing by in the fast lane because they've got to be somewhere.

I will pay for all of your expenses to see you get drunk and try to drive motocross. Off of a plane.

Remember folks, not all actions and experiences are equal in scope and impact.

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Do what now?

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(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 5:28:28 PM

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Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
Stay in the slow lane, it doesn't bother me, but don't make snippy little remarks to the people wizzing by in the fast lane because they've got to be somewhere.

Your tone is snotty, but your metaphor works rather well. When it comes right down to it, I don't have any more respect for people who lose control on the freeway than I do for people who lose control in the bedroom--especially when the root cause is alcohol. You can romanticize and glamourize this kind of personal and moral weakness if you like; I think "stupid" is by far the most charitable term that can possibly be applied to folk in either category.

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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: dangerous - 4/2/2009 8:08:34 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm starting to believe that I'm the only one reading this post from a different point of view.

There are just too many phrases throughout this thread that could be looked at from two ways. Lockit was good enough to highlight one above that made Me think this. People in recovery tend to see people under the influence and bring back their own memories of their drinking/using days in their brain. From there, they tend to do two things. Either romanticize the 'good old days' or they remember how bad it got before they hit bottom.

Now, I've just glanced through the replies since I was on this thread last, but somebody show Me where the OP said anything about this being edge play. From what I could see, that didn't come from the OP, but rather the folks who want to look at this from the extreme. I don't think the OP said what kind of play it was at all.

The OP is obviously alive and well. I think it more likely what happened here was he was engaging in play that might have been a bit extreme for him for the first time with this person, and even though he liked it, there might have been some feelings afterward.

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(in reply to ShaktiSama)

RE: dangerous - 4/3/2009 4:48:35 AM

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Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
Stay in the slow lane, it doesn't bother me, but don't make snippy little remarks to the people wizzing by in the fast lane because they've got to be somewhere.

Your tone is snotty, but your metaphor works rather well. When it comes right down to it, I don't have any more respect for people who lose control on the freeway than I do for people who lose control in the bedroom--especially when the root cause is alcohol. You can romanticize and glamourize this kind of personal and moral weakness if you like; I think "stupid" is by far the most charitable term that can possibly be applied to folk in either category.

I thought about the tone afterwards, but I was *literally* thinking of people that drive in the slow lane and get angry at the people passing them.

I'm have a huge interest in ratrods, and several of my friends do as well. It's not that they drive fast to piss people off, they drive fast because they love it- they love their cars, and to them, it's worth the risk. Now, would I hit 200 in a car I've never driven before? NO! I'm going to learn how it handles, learn if it has little attitude problems in the rain, or taking curves, and I'm probably just going to take it around the block the first time.

The OP said he enjoyed the act while it was happening. It is not the womans fault that he changed his mind after the fact. Like I said before, I think there's way more to the story than is being told.

*Edited for rambling. :-/

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 4/3/2009 5:11:17 AM >

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