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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 12:19:22 AM

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ostrow, I don't feel that an apology to me is needed. Let's just go from this point on and see where things go. It isn't that we won't forgive or let it go. Most of us are pretty reasonable. Your last post sounds more like we are getting somewhere and that's good enough for me. I can't speak for anyone else. We all make mistakes and sometimes are blind and our lil sensors might be off. It is when we make mistakes and continue them that people really stick to their opinion and don't budge. If we see where we went off from emotion or whatever and try not to do it, then progress has been made.

I don't mean to be talking down to you or anything here. I am being sincere, I am just very tired and not at my best. So if you will... picture a hand shake and a smile... and you and I can take it from there.

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(in reply to ostrow30)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 12:30:34 AM

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Thanks so much for forgiving me, Lockit. In reflection, I made a really bad post and hit the OK button without thinking it through, so now I'm sitting here feeling really bad, but feel better after reading your post. Thanks very much for that. I really hope everyone can forgive me...and yeah, you're right, sometimes it's hard to see you're wrong when your defenses go up. I don't feel you're talking down to me, those are kind words.

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 12:57:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ever think that might be because some of us aren't here just to get laid?

Yes, most women by the time they pass menopause have no interest in getting laid. Fortunately there are exceptions, but they are hard to find.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 4:15:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ostrow30

Thanks so much for forgiving me, Lockit. In reflection, I made a really bad post and hit the OK button without thinking it through, so now I'm sitting here feeling really bad, but feel better after reading your post. Thanks very much for that. I really hope everyone can forgive me...and yeah, you're right, sometimes it's hard to see you're wrong when your defenses go up. I don't feel you're talking down to me, those are kind words.

I won't speak for Lockit or anyone else, but I'd say don't sweat it. Believe it or not, we all type up one thing or another and then see how it might have been taken in another way after hitting the ok button. Stick around and you'll even get to see some very heated debates about certain subjects. Some of them get interesting, to say the least.

By the way, I missed My chance to welcome you to the forums. I hope you'll enjoy participating here a little more.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 4:24:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ever think that might be because some of us aren't here just to get laid?

Yes, most women by the time they pass menopause have no interest in getting laid. Fortunately there are exceptions, but they are hard to find.

Well, I can't speak to that personally. Trust Me. I'm not looking forward to menopause, only to the reward of no more buying tampons at some point in My life. Since I haven't gotten there yet, I can't say how it will effect My sex drive, though I could certainly see how some could use it as an excuse if they were married to someone they didn't find particularly sexually appealing after spending a few years together.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 5:21:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle
It seems like almost every time I send a message to a dominant woman in her late 30s or 40s, this is the basic reply I get: "Thank you for your message. You seem really sincere and have a great profile but you are too young for me. Good luck in your search."
So, my question is what does "too young" mean?

Do you ask them? (Or do you assume they'd interpret that as pushy?)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle
Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

No, we've never found chronological age differences (in either direction) to be a major obstacle.

Thinking beyond ourselves, our circle of friends includes quite a few couples where the woman is notably older than the man.

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 5:24:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba
Yes, most women by the time they pass menopause have no interest in getting laid.

The OP was talking about women in their "late 30s or 40s," a bit early for menopause (even if your assertion were correct).

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 5:45:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle
I would rather serve an older woman. They tend to be .... I feel like I'm more likely to find ... in an older woman. And, believe it or not, I'm more attracted physically to older women. So, to have my age sometimes be the only thing impeding me is very frustrating.

At the risk of offending, I can't help pointing out the irony here. You prefer older partners and yet seem puzzled and frustrated by other people who feel the same way?

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle
If you knew that a relationship would end in 10 years but that it would be the best relationship you've ever had, would you still enter into it?

I would. All relationships end eventually.

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 5:58:40 AM

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my dear azjojoba,

please don't generalize about post menopausal women. I am approaching the age of 51 and, wonder of wonders!!, I still get aroused and desire sex....a lot.

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(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 8:49:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ever think that might be because some of us aren't here just to get laid?

Yes, most women by the time they pass menopause have no interest in getting laid. Fortunately there are exceptions, but they are hard to find.

My friends and I look forward to menopause---and the post-menopausal ones? Hotter than ever.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 9:19:32 AM

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Somehow I knew that when I got up this morning there would be 2 more pages of replies. Oh well, it gave me something to do while drinking my coffee. :)

ostrow30 - I was not trying to attack you or be rude. When I saw someone say something which can be considered offensive to all the Dommes who have been so good to me on this post, I felt it necessary to defend them as the OP. Clearly, as you saw in the wee hours of this morning, they don't need my help. Hope they don't mind that I said something though. :) But still, I felt what I said was necessary and I stand by it.

You also missed a big point of my post. For one, the amount of profiles that I see that 1) are close to me and 2) actually specifically say they want someone my age are very rare. Trust me, I've messaged them too. Secondly, the Dommes that have replied to me saying that I'm too young often did not have age specifications in their profiles so it's not as if I was deliberately disrespecting that.

Lockit and SweetDommes - Thank you for everything. :)

TwoNYCDommes - To answer your questions, I have tried politely asking them before and that is a message I usually don't get a reply to. That is why I asked for the advice here on these forums. I definitely prefer older Dommes and I certainly understand people have preferences. What I was more puzzled and frustrated with was that I would be immediately written off just because of my age. Sure, I have preferences, but that doesn't mean if a Domme my age or younger wanted to talk to me I would say "Sorry you're too young." However now I know some of the reasons why I have been getting those responses so I am very grateful to you and all the other women here for answering my questions. Thank you!

LadyPact - Some of the things you said gave me a good chuckle. I like the way you think. :)

Thanks everyone.
-Mike

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 10:19:27 AM

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I guess I shouldn't be surprised an age thread would go to menopause and around here... sex of course! LadyHibiscus says her post menopousal friends are hotter than ever. Well... in my hot experience, they were hotter than ever before, as in hot flashes! Grrrrr So that means... they typically don't like clothes much and wear as little as they can and they are always stripping the darn things off and then when chilled wanted something warm to cuddle in. And they like fan's.... so... nice submissive men can be very wonderful and helpful in this! If they bring grapes... even better!

But seriously, many do not have that lack of sexual drive. There are many things that can help now days and some of it all depends on the woman, situation and the men available. It all plays a part in things. I have seen absolutely no change in anything but the hot flashes. Those can bring about some funny things... like ten degree weather and she is driving down the road with her head out the window or one minute sitting sweetly discussing new scientific discoveries and all of a sudden stripping off her clothes. Now some might have a problem with this.. mostly her because going from 98 degree's to 110 in about three seconds flat is quite an experience... but dang... who is going to complain about a woman stripping her clothes off???

The way I see it... my clothes are off, the hot has passed, I am cold and I might as well jump the nice guy sitting there all excited because he never saw a woman get undressed so fast. And we shower often... so... in my book, besides the temp changes... it's all good!

< Message edited by Lockit -- 4/12/2009 10:22:02 AM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 11:24:00 AM

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Mike, both thanks and you're welcome.

Lockit, I have to admit, the "hotter than ever" thing made Me think hot flashes, too. Not to laugh at anyone's discomfort who's made it to that stage in life, but I think you put a great spin on it. The idea of the boy fanning with grapes in hand was a nice touch.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 11:42:03 AM

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LadyPact, if one doesn't have humor through all that hot stuff... they just might murder someone! It is much better to have a fantasy... work with it and make the best of it. Much safer in my way of thinking. You can either laugh and play with it, see the benefits and use them or get hot and cranky and murderous! Besides... when in a hot moment... I have had men who fanned me, opened windows and showed compassion all while laughing with me about it. But warning... let her laugh first or you just might be in a pretty hot place yourself! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/12/2009 12:24:01 PM

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Lockit, it's a good way to look at it. Who knows? When I get to that stage, maybe Mister Pact will be wishing he was back in Korea. LOL.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/13/2009 1:06:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: masmiss

my dear azjojoba,

please don't generalize about post menopausal women. I am approaching the age of 51 and, wonder of wonders!!, I still get aroused and desire sex....a lot.

I didn't mean to generalize, and in fact I said there were exceptions. Thanks goodness, because I think women over 50 are a real turn on!

(in reply to masmiss)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/13/2009 6:08:58 AM

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I am in not ageist, so 18 years plus is fine by me

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/14/2009 10:00:24 PM

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See, I'm a funny guy in that I can be as serious or mature as I have to be, but just would rather not. for that reason I think a lot of older women would look at me a trouble, whereas I'm actually the exact opposite when it comes to maturity or drama.

I tend to date women younger than me for some of these reasons (plus women in their 30s are all insane and unless they have children just want to get married and have babies right away, it's alright if we make large sweeping generalizations on this thread right?).

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/15/2009 6:34:56 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

I honestly don't know what "too young" means in this context. From some women I've spoken to across a wide spectrum of ages (not just those in the 35+ group), part of this may come from the search for a -life partner-, and the recognition that they don't share much outside of scening with someone who is 15, 20, 25 or more years younger than they are. For myself *shrugs*, as long as the man proves dependable and generally responsible, I don't have an issue.

quote:

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

I don't think I -prefer- younger men... but I certainly have no objections to scening with a younger man. My perspective is different, though, in that I am absolutely -not- looking for a life-companion, which takes the whole romance aspect, and the attendant social issues, out of the picture for me. It opens up the scope of men that I will consider at -both- ends of the spectrum.

quote:

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

More an attitude than an age, I have trouble with 'brats'... a man of any age who cannot accept what he is choosing to be in relation to me, and who has to constantly act out for attention will be dismissed by me regardless of his age. Also, I am not cruel or nasty -- a man of any age who cannot accept my genteel behavior and accept that I still control him and will shape his actions and behaviors for my own pleasure and service isn't going to last long with me... while I am not cruel, I am also not endlessly patient. *winks*

I've raised two boys and a girl into fine men and women, but my servants aren't my children, and I have no desire to "mother" them, so a man of any age who comes to me looking for a mother is going to be sorely disappointed (of course, even my now-adult offspring found me to be an unusual sort of parent, so they would probably concur with this self-assessment... "mother" I'm -not-!)

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 4/15/2009 6:40:13 AM >

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(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/15/2009 8:44:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

See, I'm a funny guy in that I can be as serious or mature as I have to be, but just would rather not. for that reason I think a lot of older women would look at me a trouble, whereas I'm actually the exact opposite when it comes to maturity or drama.

I tend to date women younger than me for some of these reasons (plus women in their 30s are all insane and unless they have children just want to get married and have babies right away, it's alright if we make large sweeping generalizations on this thread right?).

I agree with the insane bit, but UMs??? no way

Too much ... of a lot of things lol

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(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)

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