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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:45:13 AM

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Oh dear, Lynnxz, I think you took that the wrong way. I'm not saying that everyone is obligated to reproduce. I'm saying that motherhood and being a grandmother has brought me such joy that I wish everyone could experience it. Sorry if you can't appreciate that in the spirit it was intended.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:49:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

One of the biggest is that, right or wrong, I think someone your age should be looking for a life partner to start a family with.

O s---.

Brb, gotta go pop out some crotchfruits.

Yeah, I'm with you, Lynn, I am a child free person by choice. But that is one of my reasons---I am close to non breeding age and there will be NO! menopause babies! Many men get that whole mortality thing when they hit their mid-30's... and it would be unfair to make someone deny their desire to have a replicant.

It would be unfair to deny any major desire. This middle aged lady knows what roads she does not want to go down again, what things she never needs to experience, and what things are completely beyond her because her physical limitations say so. So, younger men are not in the picture. NOT because young folks are stupid, immature, unworthy, don't know what they want, have no experience, and chew with their mouths open.

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(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:54:40 AM

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Generally, when a sub asks me which Jonas Brother I think is the hottest, I figure there's not much there to build on.

As Jack Nickleson once said, " Yeah, I can date girls who are barely legal if I wanted to, there are tons of them who are still attracted to the stardom and the "cool", but none of them would get half the references I'd mention in a conversation. I mean, what the hell are we going to talk about? Our tastes in music, art, movies, books... they'd all be vastly different. Plus, it's nice to know you're with someone who gets up with the same aching joints you do after an all nighter."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:59:54 AM

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I have tried the much younger man (17 years younger to be exact) and it did not work out at all. The first year was grand and then it went downhill. He was still trying to find himself and thought he was submissive only to turn around and say he was Dominant and that I WOULD be his sub. No such thing would or could ever happen so I released him and it was not pretty.
It was that experience that taught me to stick with men 10 years plus or minus as they are older and should have found themselves by now. My current sub is 7 years my junior and we have been together over 5 years now.
I think that the big age difference can work for some people, but not for everyone. I do not mean to sound jaded but once you have been burnt, it is difficult to try that road again.

good luck in your search,
~Lashra

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:02:05 AM

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Another thought (I am full of them!)... an earlier poster mentioned that only the women in question would be able to give you their reasons why the OP is "too young". Very true, but for heaven's sake, don't go pestering them for reasons! No means no, and leave it at that.

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:11:56 AM

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My pet was 23 when we got together. It isn't so much a matter of age with Me as it is a matter of personality, maturity and ability.

Lady Jag

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:13:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I have tried the much younger man (17 years younger to be exact) and it did not work out at all. The first year was grand and then it went downhill. He was still trying to find himself and thought he was submissive only to turn around and say he was Dominant and that I WOULD be his sub. No such thing would or could ever happen so I released him and it was not pretty.
It was that experience that taught me to stick with men 10 years plus or minus as they are older and should have found themselves by now. My current sub is 7 years my junior and we have been together over 5 years now.
I think that the big age difference can work for some people, but not for everyone. I do not mean to sound jaded but once you have been burnt, it is difficult to try that road again.

good luck in your search,
~Lashra

Lashra, I don't look at it as you being jaded. You simply have experience with it and learned that it just isn't for you. My first domme was 17 years older than me. She was 40 and I was 23. While we had a great relationship that lasted nearly five years and had lots of good times, we were still very different and at very different points in our lives. I was still learning about myself and my likes/dislikes. I just wasn't prepared for a lasting relationship with her even though I had every intention of making it work.

If you are looking for a long-term relationship, a large age difference can most likely be too much to overcome, no matter the attraction and chemistry. If it is strictly for a more casual, play-type relationship, then the age difference can be much less daunting. Even though Mistress is seven years younger than me and I love her more than anything in this world, I still have an attraction to the cougar dommes out there. I can't blame the younger guys out there because there is just something absolutely irresistible about a cougar on the prowl for a young boytoy!

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(in reply to Lashra)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:19:44 AM

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Michael,

I appreciate you asking this question and there have been plenty of forums that cover it. Some have answered you here and you answered some of it in your OP.

If you type in 'younger men' from the search box you will find a lot of reasons expressed there also.

Good for you...you spoke up and might get noticed here by a Domme who thrives on mastering a younger man.

Keep the dream,
Me

< Message edited by MissEnchanted -- 4/5/2009 9:21:15 AM >

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 9:40:56 AM

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Wow... thanks for all the responses, everyone.

I certainly heard some reasons that I expected but also some that I had not thought of.

What is frustrating to me is that I know, with certainty, that I want to dedicate my life to service of a dominant woman. I know that I'm submissive and will never be dominant. I know that I have an inherent need to serve and show my obedience and loyalty to a woman. I would rather serve an older woman. They tend to be more mature, strict, and intelligent. Also, an important quality in a Domme to me is that she have a caring/nurturing side. I feel like I'm more likely to find this quality in an older woman. And, believe it or not, I'm more attracted physically to older women. So, to have my age sometimes be the only thing impeding me is very frustrating.

It would be nice to have my Domme be a life-partner and maybe even have a family someday as someone mentioned. I realize that may be impossible with a significantly older woman. However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to seek meaningful, long-lasting relationships with older women. I'm young enough that I have time to experience the joy of a relationship with someone of any age and still have time to "settle down" if a situation presented itself. I could see myself being happy in a relationship with a woman 15-20 years older than me for many years. If you knew that a relationship would end in 10 years but that it would be the best relationship you've ever had, would you still enter into it?

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 10:14:58 AM

subtlebutterfly

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POST
*just 'cause I'm under 35* sorry, couldn't resist

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 10:17:05 AM

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Well, I'm still a month from being 35. I prefer men who are within 10 years of my age, but you're close enough that I wouldn't rule you out on that basis alone, if you were local. I'm not interested in anyone under 21, though - it's nice to have the option to go to clubs and such together, and it just seems like a little too much of a gap.

I probably wouldn't want to date someone for 10 years, if I knew upfront that he would leave/it would end then. Of course, not all relationships will last even that long, but putting that much of my time, energy, and emotions into someone who I know is deliberately not going to reciprocate isn't appealing.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/5/2009 10:25:33 AM >

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 10:19:59 AM

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Haha. Nice job! :)

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 11:13:51 AM

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You didn't say how long you have been looking. Regardless of what your criteria are, it just takes time.
For the record, I am 40, and I adore men in their 20s. However, I'm not seeking a romantic relationship (as I already married my original boytoy) but more casual/S&m based connections, but I am more readily attracted to younger men than older men.
It also might help to have a couple of tasteful photos on your profile.

Akasha

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 11:23:46 AM

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"Too young" - or "too old" are objective terms .   Each of us has our own preferences and comfort levels  .

    I agree with another poster - if I could be your Mother - no thanks .

   Another aspect for me is , I also seek a mate . I've always felt it to be an advantage when people are close enough in age that they can have somewhat similar reference points of the past . So I want a sub who's reached his mid-40's at least .
      Of course that said - it doesn't mean I can't also lust after a lovely young thing !

(in reply to LaMistressa)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 11:46:48 AM

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quote:

If you knew that a relationship would end in 10 years but that it would be the best relationship you've ever had, would you still enter into it?

Not at this point. I have great memories from old relationships, so the next big one will be one I'd like to see last.

< Message edited by MissEnchanted -- 4/5/2009 11:49:35 AM >

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 11:48:40 AM

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UGH, My worst fear has come to life. Next month I officially graduate into the "35 and older" category, LOL! I do have strong opinions on this topic, as I have experienced it many times. ALL of My most devoted, attentive, responsible, uncomplaining(that's an important one), and most fulfilling slaves/pets have been considerably older than Me. I actually prefer them over 40. For one, they are extra appreciative, settled, done chasing tail(for the most part), and know so much about life, therefore providing not just service, but conversation and support, etc. They know how to do laundry and dishes, can usually cook, and generally behave well in public. I am not saying there are NO young men capable of such things, just that in My experience, worthiness to serve goes up with age. Often times it is, as mentioned, an issue of putting their desires first and not being in it for the right reasons. I know many "subs" who can't commit to a simple housekeeping visit for fear they will miss a night out with the guys. They are also less likely to want to go out to drinks or dinner with Me because they are only interested in the "pleasure" aspect and/or don't want to take the lifestyle public. Again, I am not referring to all young subs, but I have yet to meet one as obedient or commited as an older man. For Me, I will consider finding a spot for anyone 25 and older, but the younger ones usually end up with less responsibility and less time with Me. Not to say they aren't good for certain things(like eye candy, lol!), but My aspirations for them normally start(and stay)much lower. I wish you the best of luck, and do agree with another poster that a nice pic on your profile may significantly improve your chances...

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 11:58:30 AM

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As I grow tired, slow down, ache, wrinkle and sag and allow what gray I may; will you find me sexy? Will you look at me with the same eye’s as you did when five years before there wasn’t so much of all that to look at and touch? Will you find me dignified and sexy like those handsome male super stars or will you be thinking of those healthy older stars with three thousand a month to continue to look young until they are stretched so tight you could bounce marbles off of their faces?

When the lil one’s of the family come to visit will you mind being called grandpa because you are with grandma? Will you introduce me to your family and will we find acceptance when you let them know you are plugging the old broad? What would you do when my same aged lil one’s wonder why you are with their mom and answer the questions of all our loved one’s and friends? Will you understand what the medical professionals describe as age robs me of my youth and will you bring me my walker… prepare all the meals that Meal’s on Wheels brings or make it for us? Will you look into my eyes when that adjustment bed has you all twisted like I need it and want to hold my hand?

What are you willing to give up and do when your lady is much older than you? Will you stand there with the same I love you’s or will you walk away fast, when youth has passed and learn the reasons some no longer seek five years of long term and want the rest of their lives; literally?

When I cannot meet you on the straight up mountain you wish to climb and I only wish to watch you… when I can no longer dance the night away to some metal band and am more ready for night’s of leisure… when life and time have taken their toll… will you still think I’m the sexy hot older mama and want some of that or will you think it is time to move on to someone who can play more, do more and has more life to offer you?

Sure I might be somewhat hot and enticing now… but how long will that last?

These are just a few of the reason’s I want and need an older man… do I need to go on?

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 12:15:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

Greetings,

I have a question for the Dommes who are significantly older than me. I am 23. It seems like almost every time I send a message to a dominant woman in her late 30s or 40s, this is the basic reply I get: "Thank you for your message. You seem really sincere and have a great profile but you are too young for me. Good luck in your search."

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

Thank you for your time, ladies.

-Michael

I've only read your post so if I'm repeating I apologise.

For me, I am looking for not just a slave or someone to train, he will also be my life partner. Although I listen to music and do a lot of things that 23 year olds do, it's not very realistic that someone so young is ready to settle down with one woman for life. And one yardstick that I use, if I could possibly have given birth to you, then you are too young....in the same respect if they are old enough to have given birth to me, they are to old...lol

I don't want to pick someone who as you get older starts looking elsewhere. Yes, there are exceptions, but it's human nature. The one I pick I really want to be my last, and even within the same age range it's a crap shoot.

I get those that claim they can be the mate for me...oh? have you thought about taking her home to friends and family? I then hear that it doesn't matter...really? so if you are cut off, from them, how happy are you going to be in your life? After a while you would start to resent her. (been through this before for different reasons).

What about children? I can still have children yes, women in my family have children late in life, with no problems, but will I by the time we get to know each other and are comfortable in our own lives and are ready for them. I have nothing against adoption, but from my experience "most" guys want a biological child.

Not saying all guys are like this, some, and you yourself may find and older woman and stay with her for life...I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have to look beyond D/s and think about "all" aspects of a 20 something and a 40 something...and I haven't even scratched the surface yet.

With all that said, I have, dated guys younger, heck all that I have dated have been younger...but in a age comfort zone for me....someone in their 30's would be ok..."for me" but someone in their 20's would not...you just have to do the work, and find the domme where you are in "her" comfort zone as well as she being within yours.

But as they say, there is someone for everyone...so keep looking, I'm sure she is out there...just make sure you are ready when you do, and that way no one get's hurt.

Good luck!

< Message edited by DrkJourney -- 4/5/2009 12:28:29 PM >

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 12:15:46 PM

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I think, from reading the replies, the relationship goal of the people you ask, will determine the answer.

For myself I don't expect forever, I don't expect "my one true love", I don't even expect one person to fulfill all my needs. Heck, I would even consider a retired male, if he was older, not interested in sexual activities at all, and strictly service oriented. If he had the proper mindset and could accept the unique nature of my household.

If I am not sexually attracted to a person I will not have sexual encounters with them, pretty simple really. That does not rule out the possibility they may very well have other qualities they bring to the equasion. As long as they don't pressure me into something I've no interest in, we will get along just fine. The reality is that I've not met anyone, male or female, that had an interest in a non sexual service oriented situation.

I don't have age restrictions because I don't have relationship restrictions, (aside from sexual = single female I am attracted to). Different people bring different things. I refuse to close myself off to possibilities. It's just not my style.

However, I can totally understand a woman my age, that was only interested in a long term, monogamous, commited relationship, wanting someone near their age.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/5/2009 12:16:50 PM >

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 12:25:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MarsBonfire

Generally, when a sub asks me which Jonas Brother I think is the hottest, I figure there's not much there to build on.

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