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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 12:29:10 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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From: Hell
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~FR~

I'm 38. My fiance is 31 and I vastly prefer my partners to be younger than I. Although I have dated older (up to 7 years senior), my best relationships have all been with younger partners. I also find younger partners more physically attractive.

HOWEVER, and this is a huge caveat, the person's maturity level must match mine, have a comparable education level, and s/he must share interests, values, and life goals that are similar to mine. The older I get, the less likely it is that someone who is more than ten years younger is going to meet my expectations in those areas. Someone who is 23 is unlikely to be ready and willing to "settle down" in a life partnership and be an authority figure to my offspring. Twenty-somethings are also more prone to harboring personal insecurities that I have already overcome and am no longer willing to tolerate. The resulting drama that stems from my unwillingness to accomodate those insecurities is not something with which I want to cope. For these reasons, I am skeptical of the chances for a successful relationship with anyone under the age of 30.

That said, if the 20-something person shared similar hobbies and interests and could demonstrate a sufficient level of education, stability, self-confidence, and maturity, I would certainly consider her/him as a potential sub. It's just so rare for this to happen that I generally don't bother talking to anyone more than 10 years my junior. Friends made on the boards or offline excepted, of course.

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 12:47:09 PM

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I always get into so much trouble participating in threads such as these.

When someone says they are not interested due to your age, it means that your age does not fit their preferences in what they want in a sub. It's right in there with any other preference that a person might have. Other popular ones are marital status, height, weight, education level, orientation, and so on. Personally, I think people are entitled to their preferences, for whatever reason that they are basing them on.

Since you asked, "Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance?" I'm going to say yes, that it probably does. If there weren't a good portion of people in your age group who display those qualities, you wouldn't be up against the preconceived notion. You're also going to run into those who will equate your age with lack of experience (which you admit to in your profile) and have a preference for someone that they don't have to deal with the issues that come with that.

As harsh as it sounds, on sites like this, many people aren't going to want to invest their time to see if you are the exception to the rule. Dominant women tend to have the lion's share when it comes to their options when looking for someone. It takes a lot less to find someone who fits their age preference than to spend the time giving you a shot.

To answer your last question, My personal preference for minimum runs about 25. It wouldn't even be that low if there weren't two individuals who I've already gotten to know who have proven themselves mature enough for My needs.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 12:56:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

Greetings,

I have a question for the Dommes who are significantly older than me. I am 23. It seems like almost every time I send a message to a dominant woman in her late 30s or 40s, this is the basic reply I get: "Thank you for your message. You seem really sincere and have a great profile but you are too young for me. Good luck in your search."

So, my question is what does "too young" mean?

"Too young" means whatever the woman wants it to mean, darlin'. Overall, I would recommend you translate it as "No thanks" and just move on. These women are not worth your time. You can ask the question "why?" but regardless of what she says is the cause, take it with a grain of salt: any "reason" that a complete stranger gives you to reject you out of hand will be nothing but an excuse for her prejudice. It has nothing to do with you as a real person. This woman doesn't know and doesn't care what you're like as a real person. And that's her loss.

People like this will never bother to get to know you or give you half a chance, regardless of how attractive you find them, or how sincere your desire to love and serve them may be. They are blind to the good qualities you have and the possibilities you represent; they only want to reject you out of hand based on a negative stereotype.

Personally, I just turned 39; my submissive partner is 21. He's quite the treasure. I would not say that I "prefer" younger men--I have spent time with men in a very large range of ages, including those much older than me--but I definitely see his good points.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 1:07:09 PM

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My twopennyworth:

One of my brothers has always gone for much younger women. Each time, the relationship has ended in disaster. He's a very, very domineering man and this is, no doubt, the main cause. But, crucially, his girlfriends have always been quite different at the end of his relationships with them to the way they were at the start. They'd fit in with his feelings, thoughts and beliefs at the start - but dislike (even hate) every fundamental thing about him by the end.

I've noticed this time and again: that people change a great deal up to, very roughly, their late twenties, but much less so afterwards. In many important ways people in their late twenties aren't the same people that they were in their late teens and early twenties. I was no exception.

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(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 2:58:59 PM

Kaiel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I love that phrase, "with all due respect"---it's such a great euphemism for "you are an idiot and here's why!"

So true, So true... LOL

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 3:15:33 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

What is frustrating to me is that I know, with certainty, that I want to dedicate my life to service of a dominant woman.

However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to seek meaningful, long-lasting relationships with older women. I'm young enough that I have time to experience the joy of a relationship with someone of any age and still have time to "settle down" if a situation presented itself.

Personally I would not rule someone out on age along, though probably 25 is about as young as I would go, and then it is with caution. But your own contradiction above is what I have issues with.

You're right you are 23 and 10 years from now you will only be 33 and can go find someone else to settle down with. I would then be 55 and looking again. While there are no promises a relationship will last, why would I want to invest the time with someone that may change his mind based on a desire to have something I can't give and that he knew wasn't possible at the start?

That said I have had some fun playmates in their early 20's and a wonderful summer with a 24 year old a few years back, but none of those were anything I was looking at as possible long-term M/s relationships.

< Message edited by LovingMistress45 -- 4/5/2009 3:19:27 PM >

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 3:22:15 PM

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I am sure it is every dominant's dream, to be served well for a few years and then be older and dumped so her well serving submissive... who really was serving himself in the situation, could move on, settle down and do all he wants... now.

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(in reply to LovingMistress45)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 3:30:02 PM

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On the flip side, I don't suppose it's every sub's dream to be dumped for a younger model when he hits twenty-x years of age, either . . .

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 3:30:36 PM

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LOL Peon...

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 4:07:03 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

On the flip side, I don't suppose it's every sub's dream to be dumped for a younger model when he hits twenty-x years of age, either . . .

Funny...That is exactly what I keep threatening ever since he hit 25. My attention radically wanes for new boys the closer they get to 27 (so re the OP- yes, while I am not quite yet 35+ I personally am very interested in younger men). Lucky for my boy he still looks barely legal LOL

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 4:12:36 PM

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Ah. I take it that such dumping of a sub for a younger model isn't really a problem in real life, then?

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 4:15:34 PM

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Oh, I am not dumping him (in fact we are engaged)...I just like threatening him...I will, however, always seek a younger 2nd boy to toy with. I'll keep the ol' dog around since he knows just how I like my tea.

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Facta, non verba gratia placenti

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RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 4:16:48 PM

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Well I did dump my younger husband, but not for a younger model... he went younger though. lol

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 4:42:10 PM

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Because of our lives, we don't want anyone who is going to want to go out and party, go to clubs/bars, etc. We have too many responsibilities at the house, plus we all 3 work long hours and rarely feel up to going out (not to mention that we are limited in where we can go because I react very badly to smoke and Holly has serious food allergies). There will be no replicants here and, as others have mentioned, most younger men want them. We want someone who will be perfectly happy being a homebody, helping us around the house, taking care of us and the animals, etc. Someone who is just out of college (or still in college) isn't likely to have the desire and/or time to do so. That's why 25 is our cut off. It saves on wasted time, on both our side and theirs. I have no problems being friends, but anything else isn't going to happen.

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 4:55:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

Greetings,

I have a question for the Dommes who are significantly older than me. I am 23. It seems like almost every time I send a message to a dominant woman in her late 30s or 40s, this is the basic reply I get: "Thank you for your message. You seem really sincere and have a great profile but you are too young for me. Good luck in your search."

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

Thank you for your time, ladies.

-Michael

You didn't ask for a sub males point of view....but I'm gonna give it anyway.

Can't speak for the ladies...but from a male subs point of view (I'm 50...but most people tell me I don't look a day over 49, 10 months, 17 days, 21 hours)....

A woman who isn't (near) my age....who isn't familiar with songs written by either John, Paul, Ringo or George, who thinks "The Dead" is a movie, who has never filled up her car for $1.07 per gallon, who can't recall "rabbit ears", who, when asked "Who sang 'Baba O'reilly?', she can't even say "I dunno?".....

That's a chic that I can't envision dominating me (or controlling my future).

(And if you understood any of this "subsubtle".....you probably have your answer).

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 5:05:55 PM

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I just have to point out that I'm quite familiar with songs by those blokes, I know exactly who "The Dead" are, I've bought gas for $.97/gal, and hated rabbit ears ... but I still doubt that we would be anything even close to a good match ... LOL

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 5:21:44 PM

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Not only do I know of the Dead, I'm even willing to bastardize My anti fruit policy to eat the Cherry Garcia.

I have memories of rabbit ears, but I much prefer cable. I don't watch much tv, but it's so much better for the net.

My firm belief is that anyone who doesn't know who the Beatles are has been living under a rock all of their life. Anybody who can't spend seven minutes listening to "Hey Jude" probably doesn't know what they're missing. (And if it were up to Me, Hinkley would never get out, but Yoko would probably spend some time in.)

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 5:30:11 PM

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Most of the dommes on this website are looking for marriage or some kind of full time 24/7 relationship. That's why they are more interested in somebody close to their age who has financial security.

Being too young is a nice problem to have. Enjoy it while it lasts!

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 5:32:50 PM

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It means I simply will not entertain a submissive who is young enough to be My son---not into the Mommy Dommy practice, acknowledged or assumed and I need someone who has his life path defined and almost complete.

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(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 5:35:53 PM

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LP, forget the Beatles. It's much worse than that. Seriously: I met a twenty-year-old recently who didn't even know what a record player was.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

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