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ghitaPVH -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (12/11/2007 10:57:14 AM)
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Ive never really had money. at least not enough to be considered anything but low income. if there was any income at all. Alot of its my own damn fault, I know that..but, shrugs...such is life. Growing up I had a roof over my head and food on my table and all the niceties of a middle class upbrining, we didnt have extras for the high dollar shit, but we got along ok. After a graduated highschool and moved out on my own, I got a job and started college. Dumb ole me I went and got knocked up (while taking birth control of all things!). Lost my scholarship because I had to miss two semesters, oh well..there goes that great college degree thats supposed to make it possible for me to get a nice job later on in life, I went back after having the baby but I had to pay my own tuition so it took alot longer). I was on public assistace while I was pregnant, medicaid and WIC, after having the baby I got food stamps for small amount of time, but not long because apparently down here in Florida if you are going to college even if you are living on your own supporting yourself you have to claim your parents income as your own so I was denied any public assistance once I went back to college. Down here it seems liek they reward people who sit at home on their asses without a job, and the instant you try to do something to help yourself, they pull the rug out from underneath you. I went until my son was 3 years old as a single mother, worked 60 hours a week, went to school for 6 hours a day becasue I honestly believed all that bullshit they tell you in highschool that getting a college degree will get you a better life down the road(fucking bullshit)..I dropped my son off at daycare at 6am and picked him up at 10pm 6 days a week. On sundays I dropped him off at a co-workers place so I could work even though my daycare was closed. I barely made enough money to pay rent, a car payment and insurance, utilities, I didnt have a phone or a TV so no cable, wasnt a necessesity, besides I was never home long enough to use it anyways. After I started going to college and having to use my parents income they took TANF away from me, and when I upped my hours to 60 a week they said my income was too high and I wasnt eligible for foodstamps anymore, so I had to cut how many classes at college I could pay for each semester. I was able to get medicaid for the baby but not for me, but since I had moved back into my moms house for the last few months of my pregnancy just to get by, so they had cancelled medicaid for those months so I also had hospital bills from the birth of my son to deal with. It took me 4 years to pay those off. Finally when my son was about 3, I was 21, my aunt let me start renting a house from her, so that cut my rent down to $200 a month and I was able to start eating something other than ramen noodles and balony sandwiches. About that time I also met my husband. He was working for the same company I was, and had just come home from Iraq. I didnt know his financial situation at the time I met him, and I dont think it would have mattered. Be was at work everyday, and the fact that he had a steady job mattered to me. I asked him out to dinner. I thought he was cute, and he had been flirting with me on the radio at work. I couoldnt afford anything but this little hole in the wall barbq place right down the road from my house. He followed me to pcik my son up from daycare, then to the barbq place. (I love this place, I can feed my entire family, 5 of us now, for less than $20, and get tons of food)...we kept dating after that, and I was head over heels for him within a month of that first date. Turns out he had been away in Iraq for a long time, and while he was there his wife filed for divorce, after emptying his bank account of the 80thousand he had saved up to buy them a new house. The court based his child support payments on his military hazard pay he was recieved while in Iraq, so even though he was back in the states working a civilian job that paid $8 an hour instead of making 5,000$ a month with the military, he still had to pay her $900 a month in child support. So he was currently living in his truck. part of my rent agreement with my aunt was that I couldnt have anyone living there with me...so we started looking around for a new place to live. I found a place for $400 a month, but a had another reletive watching the UM so that saved me some money. Basically his entire paycheck went to paying childsupport for close to 2 years, while my entire paycheck plus his weekend reserve pay went to our bills, including medical bills since I was pregnant! Finally about 2 years into our relationship we hit a few lucky, or not so lucky I guess, breaks. My greatgrandmother died and left me a house. And his mother died and left him $80thousand. So now we have a house with no mortgage payments, his $80K went to paying off every peice of debt we ever had. We have vehicles that are paid off, we had to do quite a bit of repairs on the house since no one had been living in it for 20 years and it was falling apart, but at least its a home. We also were able to finally get the courts to lower his child support payments, so now he onyl has to pay her $200 a month, but he also retired from the military after 24 years of service so we dont have the weekend reserve money coming in each month to help out. We also no longer have two paychecks, so now its a house full of 5 people, living on his paycheck alone. Which used to be about $700 a week...not too bad..but the housing market dropped like crazy this year, and he's only making $2-300 a week. We still arent considered eligible for public assistance, dont ask me why, but we arent, medicaid applications for the kids have been denied over and over again, so we are shelling out $400 a month on medical insurace because part of the agreement to his ex wife is that he provide insurace for his son with her. Thankfully the boy turns 18 in a few months and it will all be over with. If we had to pay rent, or a car payment, there is no way we could survive right now. We keep a garden, and that helps with the grocery bills, but my god the UMs eat alot! I dont work, because apparently that college degree I worked my ass off for isnt worth anything and all I can do is work as a cashier somewhere, and if I did that, absolutly my entire paycheck would go to daycare for the babies..they are asking $100-150 a week per child! And whats the point of making a paycheck just to hand it to the daycare and the gas station, not to mention the need for a work wardrobe then. We get by, we have a side business that pulls in some extra dough, I work on that during the day..which is why Im constantly online! or at least it seems like it. We have no debt, and the utility companies are used to our payments coming in a week late every month. We pay one bill a week, we''ve got them all spaced out perfectly so each paycheck covers one of them, but if we miss a paycheck, or something happens, we are so far behind it takes months to catch up. I snuck into my aunts yard and cut down a christmas tree because I want my kids to have one, but I cant afford to waste money on one in town. ($100 for a tree!!!! I mean really!) whats the point in that when your just gonna toss it outside a week later? Ive saved up enough spare cash over the past few months to be able to spend abut $20 each on the kids, We occasionally waste some money and take the kids out to eat somewhere, or to the local putt putt golf place, and I know alot of people probably chastize me for that, because the truth is that if I was able to get public assistance Id do things liek that alot more often, but I dont see it as a waste of money, I dont see it as abusing the system, if we spend some money to show the kids a good time. No Im not going to go out and buy a fancy cadillac or a pair of diamond encrusted nipple clamps, but we do have cable now, and I just wated a whole three dollars and fifty cents on a bag of wooden clothes pins to add to the toy bag. who's to say poor people cant have fun too. just because your broke doesnt mean you have to be miserable.
Anyway, so my Dominant isnt able to "provide" a fancy house or car, a life with all the bells and whistles, but he manages what he has quite well, he's a wonderfully responsible man who understands that sometimes its ok to splurge a bit and have a bit of fun as long as your still able to pay your bills and feed your kids when its all done and said. He spent 24 years of his life serving his country, 11 in the Marines and 13 in the Army, he finally gave in and retired this past March when they asked him to go back to Iraq for the 5th time. His comment was he was too old to dodge bullets anymore. Unfortunantly since he retired out of the reserves, he wont collect any benefits until he turns 60. 15 years to go. We'll manage, we may not be able to afford a resort at Disney but we'll damn sure have alot of fun at the local state parks where admission is still only $3.
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