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ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

To RavenMuse: Isn't the difference you make between the sub and the slave exactly what Eigenaar typed?

NO it isn't the same but you'd need a brain to see the difference. A non-compatable girl is under no compulsion to submit to Me, nor would I want her to!

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ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave

All the gay people you know had hetero sex partners. Hmmmm, do you know *all* of the gay people on the planet because you are making a generalization as such. Yes, there are MANY gays and lesbians who have been with the opposite sex, but there are also many that have only had same sex relationships and you saying lesbians having hetero sex partners is unfair, and just plain rude.

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

Raven ! 'Tis grand to see you back again... Food fight at the Clan Meeting Hall or some some sweet wee lass that has kept you away? 

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

You know what Eigenaar? You have received a lot of good advice from good people here, people who have years of real life experience in the BDSM lifestyle.

You do not seem open to listening and/or learning from the experiences of others. Rather you seem hell bent on forming your opinions on what you have read in books or on the internet. This is, of course, your right. But let me tell you something...something that we have been trying to help you understand: a slave or a submissive is a human being with free will. If you enter into a relationship with her and think you can disrespect her and her limits, you are going to find yourself alone.

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ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave

Okay, this seems like sort of a stupid question but i'm going to ask it anyway because i'm dying to know. Why is it that so many Masters try to convince slaves to be poly?

i've been approached a number of times about joining a poly household. i've told them (politely) no. Then they start trying to convince me that i should join their poly family and everything would be peachy-keen. Or, that i'm missing out or some other garbage like that.

i've told them plain and simple, i've been involved in poly before and the situation was not good...more like Clash of the Titans but, still... One even said: "you have had many relationships with men that didn't work and you tried again." Which to me is like comparing apples and oranges. i mean, i like men. No, nix that, i *LOVE* men. But, i dislike poly. A lot. i mean, i have nothing against you if you can make it work. But, for me, it's a total confidence killer and, basically hurts my feelings because it's like screaming at me, or putting a big neon sign over my head that says "Monumental Failure!!!" and that i'm not good enough and there is a constant reminder there, every day with the other person present to fulfill whatever else he needs that i guess he feels i'm unable to do.

The past situations of poly basically destroyed any hope of me ever having one...most recently i almost decked the other girl (i walked off and screamed to let off steam). i don't handle manipulation or insults well. 

i understand that it's a Master's prerogative to have more than one slave, i have no problem with that...just don't try and force the issue. But why does it seem as if so many are trying to do just that? i'm thinking it's a "just 'cause i can" sort of attitude or is there more to it than that? Hell, i've talked to "Masters" who, when i asked them how many slaves would be ideal for them they have really stated "as many as possible." Isn't there a limit?

i guess i just need a little insight on this because it's got me totally stumped. Anyway, i feel as if i've rambled a bit so if you need any clarification i'll do my best. Thank you in advance for all of your help.

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

You know what Eigenaar? You have received a lot of good advice from good people here, people who have years of real life experience in the BDSM lifestyle.

You do not seem open to listening and/or learning from the experiences of others. Rather you seem hell bent on forming your opinions on what you have read in books or on the internet. This is, of course, your right. But let me tell you something...something that we have been trying to help you understand: a slave or a submissive is a human being with free will. If you enter into a relationship with her and think you can disrespect her and her limits, you are going to find yourself alone.

You assume I should take advice from good people who have years of real life experience and that I am not good people and do not have real life experience while you do not know a thing about me. Who are you to address me like this? And what good people and good advice would that be? Where does it say that I do not respect limits? It looks like those who react here build a whole universe around a supposed dissident once the latter uttered a few words. I don't want to have to do a thing with people sharing this attitude.

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

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ORIGINAL: GotSteel

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

I looked in a Dutch dictionary and it confirms what Eigenaar says. He did not type that it says lesbians have sex with hetero persons as far as I can see but it is true that all gay people I know had hetero sex partners sooner or later :) 

And to RavenMuse: Isn't the difference you make between the sub and the slave exactly what Eigenaar typed?

S

Wtf, why are you talking about yourself in the third person for one post. No, no, <takes a deep breath> I don't care I'm blocking you, I've had enough of your temper tantrum. I see what the OP meant about these asshats drawing people in, I should have blocked this guy pages ago.

I agree with you Steel old chap, I looked at what passes as his profile on the other side which is in reality an advertisement for a girl The first half written in I imagine Dutch and the last half in English. For someone who identifies as a Male Dominant, he seems to have a surprising lack of practical knowledge of the difference between a D/s dynamic and a M/s dynamic and none at all of both 24/7 and TPE. That in itself is fine if most of his experience is confined to online chats or roleplay, but I would have thought anyone with any nouce who had the chance to read and become involved in discussions with folks of all persuasions and indentiers in real life and whom many have years of practical hands on, face to face experience, would at least listen and even learn instead of being bloody minded, pig headed arrogant. I too am in mind to just block such a person.

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ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

You know what Eigenaar? You have received a lot of good advice from good people here, people who have years of real life experience in the BDSM lifestyle.

You do not seem open to listening and/or learning from the experiences of others. Rather you seem hell bent on forming your opinions on what you have read in books or on the internet. This is, of course, your right. But let me tell you something...something that we have been trying to help you understand: a slave or a submissive is a human being with free will. If you enter into a relationship with her and think you can disrespect her and her limits, you are going to find yourself alone.

You assume I should take advice from good people who have years of real life experience and that I am not good people and do not have real life experience while you do not know a thing about me. Who are you to address me like this? And what good people and good advice would that be? Where does it say that I do not respect limits? It looks like those who react here build a whole universe around a supposed dissident once the latter uttered a few words. I don't want to have to do a thing with people sharing this attitude.

Eigenaar,

You have not shown any of us that you do have true life experience. How many years of experience do you have, anyway? How long were your past relationships with slaves? You have a brutish attitude towards slaves, you are not open to others' ideas or opinions and while most of us generally agree to disagree on our style of what works you instead come in here screaming and ranting that if it's not YOUR way of doing things things then it's wrong.

The idea that i get from you is that a slave should have no say in even what Master takes her and when she is taken she has no right to any limits and no right to even discuss them and basically even if the Master does have limits he shouldn't have to inform her of what they are.

While most of us have read plenty of books, no one will fault you for that, i believe that we all use the books for guidelines (at least i do) and then sort of figure out what would work and what wouldn't in our own personal relationships...there really aren't many hard and fast rules for BDSM. The only one i can think of is: Do no harm. That means physically and emotionally.

In regards to myself, being involved in a poly relationship would cause me monumental emotional harm and just because i'm a slave doesn't mean i should have to suck it up and accept it (because, as you stated multiple times, us lowly slaves have no rights and no say in anything). If i was ever being considered by someone who thought that way, even after i took the time to explain why i felt the way i do re: poly i would talk to him and tell him why i could no longer be considered by him.

In my opinion, this whole lifestyle is built on trust, respect and communication. It is important for a slave to be able to trust and respect her Master and be able to talk to him if she has any concerns. She shouldn't have to keep her mouth shut in fear of being chastised. By the same token, a Master must be able to trust and respect his slave to always obey and do her absolute best to please him in any, and every way. If you want to try something that is maybe a soft limit then you need to talk to her beforehand and see how she feels about it. But, don't try to force her to concede a hard limit that she just cannot do.

For me, poly is a hard limit. Why should i be forced to participate? i mean, other than the whole "slaves have no limits" rule. Got that, but what are your other reasons?

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

You are creating an image of me you can not find in the words I put here. I am portrayed as an idiot not giving a hoot about the females under my wing. You are making this up. I am not brute and am not screaming. All I said is a person can call herself sub instead of slave when she has limits one does not aspect a slave to have. A sub can have all the limits she wants whereas a slave's limits are those of the owner. People even confirm this in this thread. Why are you not addressing them instead of me? RavenMuse says he will decide about the hard limits of a slave under his care. In another thread he says she knows where the door is otherwise. I never put it that blunt. I would defend my slave(s) with my life, if you doubted that.

Why don't you simply answer my question why you call yourself a slave and not sub so you can have poly as a hard limit? What is the reason you call yourself a slave? I am not saying people who do not agree with me are wrong. I don't care if people disagree. They have the right to as I have the right to question others. This is not about right or wrong or nailing a person to a cross like some gathered here would love to witness.

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

The answer why people go on about poly is embedded in your own words. You call yourself a slave. A slave has no choice and no say and no hard limits. The reactions I read astound me. A slave does not decide about poly. I met a slave on this site a few days ago that was polite in her first messages. She was new to bdsm and when she found out I am poly she said she did not want (a) poly (master). When I confronted her with that her profile said she was interested in serving more than one master and that this meant she is poly she disagreed and became impolite, saying that more people messaged her this nonsense and that she would never accept a master who already has a sub/slave/partner but that she did not want to pin herself down to one master and wanted the freedom to see any master she wanted.

I even would not call such a person submissive, let alone slave. If one wants to have hard limits as '' no poly'' one should list as submissive and not slave.

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ORIGINAL: Eigenaar

What is happening here is that the messenger is blamed for the news, or if this would be easier to understand the grey hen is picked on by the whites. I have not read one argument that gives my words less meaning. And YoungBlondSlave, we are not only discussing your one hard limit here.

About the definition of ''lesbian'', you can all have a laugh when you want but I took it out of a dictionary and thought it is common knowledge gay people also share beds with those who are not gay. I read books yes, I never heard of a law about not reading books. They can broaden your horizon as real life can.

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

sadly enough there are those that attempt to do this. they meet a girl that fits their parameters and try to bring her into the fold. or convince her that poly is something they should explore. i'm at odds with this and firmly believe you should have some disposition towards it.

as you've stated it can be a clash of the titans if you'd prefer to be one versus one amongst many. there are some genuine poly households and some that sincerely have a desire to explore which i can't fault them for either. just remain true to yourself and your needs.

porcelaine