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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 6:34:09 PM

BKSir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

All of this because this guy is not as charming as moi....pffft!

In reality, the age thing comes up WAY more online than it does in "RT" because people can see the magic number there well before they get to know you; whereas, in reality, you can knock their socks off with Bill Cosby jokes and Beatles lyrics hours before someone says "wait...how old are you, anyways?"

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
and keeping a list

*sigh* And you know that if a cutie like you were actually male, you couldn't keep me away from you without a tazer and a restraining order. ;)

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 6:54:01 PM

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See?! Even the gay boys/guys/Sirs/Daddies/etc want me...

I'm just sayin that age matters less when someone takes the time to show other people that they are more than their age. Yes I bitch about the stupid carding rules sometimes myself but it wasn't my first post and currently I only piggy back (run with it if you will) on age discussions.

Don't bitch about the age thing...find joy in proving those nay-sayers wrong ;-)

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
I keep a list

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 7:09:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176
I have been tought by an older Dom friend/Mentor, which means im not just some younge horny kid who has no clue whats going on.

Having an older mentor doesn't teach maturity. It doesn't change the difference between what's a priority to a 20 year old and what's a priority to a 30 year old, etc. And finally there's something to be said for life experience.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 7:29:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176

The title explains it all. Why does everyone feel that a bit of youth is such a horrible thing to have? I have been tought by an older Dom friend/Mentor, which means im not just some younge horny kid who has no clue whats going on. Should i add the fact that ive been tought by older mentors or am i just going to be critised by people for the next 3 years or so of my life?

As a 24 year old with a 25 year old owner, I have found that our ages are really only a problem when we make them into one. Overall, we do not experience a great deal of drama or fuss because of our ages and he hasn't been trained by anyone. Nor did we get any trouble when we first starting attending groups when we were both 21ish.

I know that there are people who will complain those silly youngsters. But there are also those who complain about the stupid old folks. If someone wants to judge me by my age and not what I have to say, let them. In the real world we smile, say "Well that is an interesting opinion" and move on to talk to someone else. In e-mails, it's as easy as block and delete (same as the OMG FAT COW and SERVE ME messages) and on the forums I may or may not debate the matter.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/20/2009 7:31:19 PM >

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 7:34:06 PM

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Life experience comes in all shape, sizes, and, unfortunately, speeds. The life experience of one 40 year old sometimes has nothing to do with the life experience of another 20 year old.

As I kindly like to put it, because some 40 year old fucked it up for themselves 20 years ago doesn't mean the next 20 year old is gonna fuck it up for themselves. The mistakes and choices you made at a certain age doesn't count for the positions of another individual.

Just sayin'...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Are you on the list?

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 7:48:24 PM

bandofthehawk176

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That very true Boi for instance im in the middle of a battle with Canser and im learning more and more about priorities EVERY day!

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 7:50:19 PM

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Age doesn't matter to me as much as maturity, However, I'm biased... I would assume that someone your age is not very mature until proven otherwise.

I'm sorry about cancer. That's a bitch to deal with.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 9:14:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176

The title explains it all. Why does everyone feel that a bit of youth is such a horrible thing to have? I have been tought by an older Dom friend/Mentor, which means im not just some younge horny kid who has no clue whats going on. Should i add the fact that ive been tought by older mentors or am i just going to be critised by people for the next 3 years or so of my life?

The problem with teenagers is they act like..... well teenagers

BadOne

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 10:59:44 PM

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quote:

See?! Even the gay boys/guys/Sirs/Daddies/etc want me...

The het females want you, too, BoiJen, we're just playing coy

quote:

I'm just sayin that age matters less when someone takes the time to show other people that they are more than their age. Yes I bitch about the stupid carding rules sometimes myself but it wasn't my first post and currently I only piggy back (run with it if you will) on age discussions.
Don't bitch about the age thing...find joy in proving those nay-sayers wrong ;-)

I'll nominate that for Post of the Day

To the OP- *warning, incoming "when I was your age" granny-like advice*
I've always preferred the company of those older than myself, and still seek out the company of those that are very experienced in things I'm an utter "noob" at. I realized early on that being taken seriously by folks that see you as "too young" or "too new" is an uphill battle. My strategy for that was and is simply: if you want to be the exception, you had better be exceptional. That might sound difficult, but I've often found that a simple willingness to listen and learn from constructive criticism (while ignoring the obvious horseshit, lol) without getting defensive works wonders. Expressing your opinions without getting snotty is also a valuable life skill, IMO.

Is it fair to be judged on your age or lack of experience? Not always. Is it going to happen anyway? Yeah, it is, welcome to the world. As BoiJen said, the best way through is to show people that you are more than your age. As a D, perhaps you should see this as a challenge. I can think of several twentysomethings who are respected here purely because who they are has transcended their age. JMHO.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/20/2009 11:21:30 PM

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quote:

That very true Boi for instance im in the middle of a battle with Canser and im learning more and more about priorities EVERY day!

Okies, a few things here. If you are battling cancer, I would think you would both know how to spell the disease, and also have better things to do than post asking for funishment ideas when your "slave" doesn't show on time, or whine about about being taken seriously.

And on that note, please lose the Jawa reject pic that is your current av. Honestly, could even you take somneone with that pic as their primary photo as serious??

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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 3:04:39 AM

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It's not the fact that someone is the same age as me (I'm 18 too) in my case. It's more that the majority of men my age I meet just isn't really interesting to me, we don't have anything to talk about, that kind of thing

But I understand what you mean, I sometimes get the same problem with people contacting me just to talk - "you are just a teenager, what do you know?".

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 4:07:47 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VAcontroldom

1. Don't whine
2. Fix the spelling errors on your profile
3. Go to a TNG meeting (the next generation) as there are multiple Maryland groups set up for young people who want to interact with young people
4. Meet submissive of dreams at the meeting so you don't have to be rejected by people online not interested in young dominants

This basically said what I was going to say.........only much nicer.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 5:22:08 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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you're old enough to be my son

i personally have a problem with that.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 5:30:32 AM

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I wrote this a couple of weeks ago on another thread. I'm killing the quote feature on Myself because I think it's easier to read without. It kind of goes along with what boijen has said here.

Here's the thing......

I honestly don't think threads of this nature do one bit of good for D types/Tops that happen to be younger. There are at least two threads on this forum that are over a hundred responses long about why some subs prefer older and/or more experienced Dominants. In the same amount of time that some folks are saying "give a chance so you can see what I can do" the other group is doing it. They aren't saying that someone might be passing up a great find. Instead, they ARE being that great find.

There are a number of young D types (and s types but that's another thread) both male and female, under the age of 25 that have come to be known on these boards that I respect. If they tend to pop up on threads like this, they just serve as the reminder that not all people in the age range are the same. The content they add isn't a complaint or a rant. They display their maturity by accenting their attributes, rather than what they don't have to back themselves up.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 5:35:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

That very true Boi for instance im in the middle of a battle with Canser and im learning more and more about priorities EVERY day!

Okies, a few things here. If you are battling cancer, I would think you would both know how to spell the disease, and also have better things to do than post asking for funishment ideas when your "slave" doesn't show on time, or whine about about being taken seriously.

And on that note, please lose the Jawa reject pic that is your current av. Honestly, could even you take somneone with that pic as their primary photo as serious??

I was on my way to doing the exact same post this morning. Thanks....

One should at least know announcing "I have cancer" on the internet is along the same lines as "I died yesterday". While it may be true, unless someone here can vouch for you in "RT", you're not likely to be taken seriously.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
adding to the list

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 5:38:38 AM

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I'm not sure that a h.s. reference re the op is a wisecrack. He's 18 which makes it likely that he is still in high school.

Beyond that, people prefer to take advice from someone who has some practical experience. If your only job has been as a bagger at the local supermarket, you aren't capable of making intelligent decisions re which law firm to join. If you're still living at home, you aren't capable of making decisions about which apartment to rent.

You need life experience to make life decisions for someone else. If you're only interested in bedroom play, then find someone your own age to experiment with. But whining about how you had all this mentoring and nobody will play with you doesn't make you sound more mature. It makes you sound less.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 6:19:44 AM

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I certainly don't have a problem with age (obviously). I don't think age has much to do with level of BDSM knowledge. There are people who are 50 that just figured out this is in them. There are people who are 20 who have studied everything they can find on the subject for the past 5 years. That sort of knowledge is the technical part -- rope work, suspension experience, how to elicit enough of a yelp without causing tissue damage. However, most of us connect on a level beyound the tecnical level.

I know for certain that my idea of a typical fun eveing out is much different than that of a typical 20 year old -- not better just different. I have raised and am raising my kids which makes me be in a different situation than people who haven't. My professional life is age appropriate. A lot of what I look for in friendships and romantic relationships is that our life situations are compatible. I don't that there is any judgement there at all.

I don't think that everyone who doesn't have an immediate attraction to someone younger is predjudiced against age. It's an easy way to not have to look at ourselves sometimes. I have met a few people with a some extra weight on them that are sour, unhappy and just plain misserable to be around. Everytime they are rejected they say that the other person is just shallow for not wanting them for not being skinny. They never seem to look at the other traits that drive people away.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:04:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not sure that a h.s. reference re the op is a wisecrack. He's 18 which makes it likely that he is still in high school.

Beyond that, people prefer to take advice from someone who has some practical experience. If your only job has been as a bagger at the local supermarket, you aren't capable of making intelligent decisions re which law firm to join. If you're still living at home, you aren't capable of making decisions about which apartment to rent.

You need life experience to make life decisions for someone else. If you're only interested in bedroom play, then find someone your own age to experiment with. But whining about how you had all this mentoring and nobody will play with you doesn't make you sound more mature. It makes you sound less.

This is one of the things that would throw up red flags for Me if I were a sub. I probably wouldn't think much of the mentoring anyway. If the OP has been mentored for a while, it really only would make Me think that the Mentor had no issue involving someone who was not a consenting adult, prior to the OP actually being 18. If the mentoring has only been since he's legally been an adult, that's less than a year and I don't find that particularly impressive.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:31:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Life experience comes in all shape, sizes, and, unfortunately, speeds. The life experience of one 40 year old sometimes has nothing to do with the life experience of another 20 year old.

I'll admit that's true. I'll also say it's a rare 20 year old that has their life together. The majority of 20 year olds do not.

Let's also add that the OP isn't even 20 yet, he's 18. Most 18 year olds are not known for their decision making prowess. Since Dominants tend to be the decision making force in a D/s relationship, I don't think I'd want an 18 year old making my life decisions at this point in my life.

As Wyld said "If you want to ve the exception, you had better be exceptional". I've had the experience of reading the OPs previous posts. He's not exceptionally mature and the whining isn't adding to that image.

And Jen....you can come play with us anytime.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:46:06 AM

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I hope no one gets offended here ...

To the OP...there's been three offers here for the 23 year old on the thread who's got their stuff together (moi)...and that's just in the last 12 hours or so...I'm just sayin' all you really have to do, as it's already been said, is BE the exception to the rule.

I know, obviously, not all 18 year olds or 20 year olds are the kids still living with their parents...at 18 I had my own apartment and had been not living with my parents for almost a year. At 20 I was a corporate trainer for a major company based out of Seattle and internationally known. I lied on my resume and was good enough at what I did that they forgave me. By this last Feb (23) I had already run my own business, run the budgeting of a wonderful Woman (You Fems spend lots of money), started going back to school (which involved completing my GED), learned mechanical skills (I can do more than replace a tire), investigated appropriate bonds, public stocks, and mutual funds to decide which one would be where I started that Wonderful Woman's retirement, AND kept us floating without jobs for three months after a cross-country move.

I'm not in charge, but damnit I'm good at what I do.

To be a "good Dom"...you only have to be good at what you do so long as what you do is significant. Covering your face and trying to look like a pro wrestler isn't going to get you far while you bitch about not being taken seriously because of your age.

OP put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
expanding my list

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