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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:46:21 AM

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Life experience comes in all shape, sizes, and, unfortunately, speeds. The life experience of one 40 year old sometimes has nothing to do with the life experience of another 20 year old.

I'll admit that's true. I'll also say it's a rare 20 year old that has their life together. The majority of 20 year olds do not.

Let's also add that the OP isn't even 20 yet, he's 18. Most 18 year olds are not known for their decision making prowess. Since Dominants tend to be the decision making force in a D/s relationship, I don't think I'd want an 18 year old making my life decisions at this point in my life.

As Wyld said "If you want to be the exception, you had better be exceptional". I've had the experience of reading the OPs previous posts. He's not exceptionally mature and the whining isn't adding to that image.

And Jen....you can come play with us anytime.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:49:46 AM

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I'm so exceptional it had to be said TWICE!

Let the adoration begin...the fan club is located in the "Polls and Random Stupidity section"

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
and being adored

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:54:19 AM

CreativeDominant

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And yet another whine about people not wanting a younger dominant.

So many good things stated in this thread, both about why people might not want a younger dominant AND about how to stop giving fuel to those who can have a sometimes-negative thought process regarding the young.

Let me add this in and we'll see whether or not you choose to listen...as someone who wants to show their maturity would...or ignore and discard because it might prove you wrong. The great majority of human beings do not develop the ability to make fully cognitive decisions until the age of 23 - 25. Sorry, that's the way it is physiologically. Now, that doesn't mean that everyone 25 and above will always make the best use of their cognitive abilities and always make the right decisions but, for the most part, they will do a better job of reasoning things out and not be so quick to use the first material that backs up their own beliefs to justify their decision. The cognitive ability allows them to also look rationally at the things that don't back up their belief. Sometimes, if they are smart, they will have the cognition to recognize that some other way than the way they thought IS the best way to go.

It is recognition of the ability to reason in this manner and the ability to make decisions based on gathering of knowledge rather than just on belief that draws people.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:56:07 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

I'm so exceptional it had to be said TWICE!

Let the adoration begin...the fan club is located in the "Polls and Random Stupidity section"

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
and being adored

VOTE FOR ME FOR PREZ OF BOIJENS FANCLUB!!

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(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 7:58:39 AM

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Ummm...maturation of the brain and body occurs for most individuals between the ages of 12-16. This is evidenced by rapid growth spurts, females beginning their periods and males experiencing a drop in their voices. Cognitive potential is maximized around these ages as well and there is no average age in which it begins to deteriorate. This is common knowledge for anybody who has had a sex ed or biology class. And yes sex ed counts here because the sexual organs are are the last to develop functionally in the human body.

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
and collecting references to add

scholarly document as found on google scholar search backing up my info

www.jimbrownlpc.com/Classmaterials/14%20Early%20Adulthood%20Physical%20&... -

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 4/21/2009 8:02:09 AM >

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 8:04:37 AM

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I disagree. When Daddy got news he'd be moved down here I went out and found tons of apartment listings and all by myself, and I spent hours calling around checking to see if the apartment we might want would take our dogs and what kind of conditions where there about our dogs, and then later when he was here, for real full time and not just moving his stuff down we went and looked at apartments, and I had no problems knowing which ones to pick from and which ones not to pick from, hell I had a longer list of information to find out from them than he did. He just wanted a place that was affordable.

Hell I almost had us a gorgeous place before he even moved in fully and if it had not of been for his poor credit ruling us out of the application process, we would of been moved out and in our own place before he even got here to live full time. brand new first time renters too, and I found the place on my own went in to talk to them found out all about them, and called Daddy to tell him I have a place for us to go visit next time you're here.

For someone who you claim isn't going to be capable of deciding about apartments, i think that's pretty danmed capable of me.

And I have lived at home or in someone elses care my entire life, and I am now 26, and in 6months will be 27. and we both live here with my parents in a detached garage we turned into a studio.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you're still living at home, you aren't capable of making decisions about which apartment to rent.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 4/21/2009 8:10:11 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 8:21:31 AM

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To the op, you've gotten a lot of good advice about fixing your spelling mistakes in your profile and when you type and put up a better picture than the one you got which people have said makes you look like a jawa reject from starwars, now I don't agree on the insult, but you really should listen about the advice of presenting yourself better online, you could be 102, and nobody will take you seriously if you present yourself poorly.

And to answer the question of why the issue with youth, I am 25, and I wouldn't date someone under 21 because they're simply not considered old enough legally by law to go to bdsm clubs and bars and all the places I will want to go sometimes, and it's not worth the hassle, to have one partner be so young as to be excluded from stuff legally. Plus, I doubt you have a good paying job, health insurance that covers more than a pittance of problems, a car of your own, and not one you've borrowed or someone's payed for you, insurance for said car, and a reliable track record with said car. nor do you probably have the means to have me over any time you wish as long as you wish cause the place is yours, and nobody is going to be telling you who you can have over, nor do you probably have the ability to take me to kinky conventions and treat me to all the things I'd like to be treated to, or hell even if I pay my own way, you won't be able to take me to half the things I desire to do, And while those things can come in time I want someone already there, and not cause I am a money grubber or a gold digger, but being more than barely stable in life is something that's important to me in life. If you have all that already, then you're already ahead of the game, and I apologize for the mis generalization I have made.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 4/21/2009 8:27:20 AM >

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 8:29:31 AM

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I think we tend to base youngsters on our own youth and if we were spaghetti heads between the age of 18 and 25 then theres no reason to think others will be any different.
Between the age of 18 & 25 I had traveled most of the world, known what it was like to be homeless and hungry, married, had a son, bought a house and buried my husband. By the age of 25 I had gained more wisdom than many do in a lifetime.

We went to a fet night on Saturday and it was filled with people from the age of 18 to 65. We all hung out together, laughed, talked and played without any feeling of ageism.
I'm not sure about other parts of the world but Im pleased to say that the UK seems very liberated and somewhat invigorated by the the fresh young crowd that are coming into this.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 9:14:59 AM

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At 18, you lack the life experience of an old fart like me. That will be cured by the passage of time, but some subs are looking for that looooooong experience. You have things to offer that older Doms do not; you just need to fnd the right subs. The advice to look for a TNG meeting is a good one.

The other problem with youth is that many in the younger set has yet to figure out what they REALLY want out of life. There are exceptions to be sure and I have met a few 18 year olds that have their heads screwed on far better than some 45 year olds. But in general, older folks are less prone to sudden changes in the course of their life than younger folks. Like it or not, we are all viewed through the lens of the age group we belong to. Don't worry, some day subs will think you are too damn old.

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 9:23:00 AM

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Ahem.....

"But in general, older folks are less prone to sudden changes in the course of their life than younger folks"

Mid-Life Crisis

That's all I have to say....

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
list!

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 9:32:55 AM

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I was going to say that you're in a great place, being so young and knowing what you want already - as long as you can stay healthy.

It took me until around age 35 to kind of pull my head out of my ass.

Best of luck.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 10:41:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Ahem.....

"But in general, older folks are less prone to sudden changes in the course of their life than younger folks"

Mid-Life Crisis

That's all I have to say....

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
list!

I agree with this and I do believe that the younger ones are better off with others of a similar age.
I think a much older Dominant with a younger sub will eventually become a lonely Dominant.

I do not however, believe that just because one is young they are also immature or not ready or not experienced enough. I know two amazingly hard core Mistresses that are both under 25 and who would put a lot of us older ones to shame and I know one young guy that has a sub fems knocking on his door because he's naturally good at domination.
We should never judge a book by its cover.

Edited to say that I agree with Jeptha. Celebrate the fact that you have so many great years learning about yourself. I wish I had that kind of age on my side.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 4/21/2009 10:44:48 AM >

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 10:56:28 AM

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I was just pointing out that it isn't just young people who have sudden changes in their lives or changes of heart. Identity issues come up all the time for people; it's why therapists are paid so well and the mental health industry isn't hurting as much as the auto industry right now.

On another note (I don't care if any one hates me for it), I've noticed that it's "older" het people who are saying that "anyone" can do WIITWD and frankly I'm damned tired of letting every 40-something, 300 lb, D&D player come to "extreme" night just to use their bunny fur because they don't fit in anywhere else (you all know who I'm talking about). Fuck "all inclusive"....part of what made the Leather community what it was, was not being "all inclusive".

I can't be the only individual who's tired of being politically correct with kink and expectations of Leather folks' behaviors. I think people of all ages should have to earn their Leather (yes I did) and not get this whole, "well I'm such and such age so I'm 'experienced'" (hanging out on forums doesn't really mean jack when you do nothing for your local Leather Community).

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
and squashing politically correct "kink"

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Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 12:07:12 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Ummm...maturation of the brain and body occurs for most individuals between the ages of 12-16. This is evidenced by rapid growth spurts, females beginning their periods and males experiencing a drop in their voices. Cognitive potential is maximized around these ages as well and there is no average age in which it begins to deteriorate. This is common knowledge for anybody who has had a sex ed or biology class. And yes sex ed counts here because the sexual organs are are the last to develop functionally in the human body.

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
and collecting references to add

scholarly document as found on google scholar search backing up my info

www.jimbrownlpc.com/Classmaterials/14%20Early%20Adulthood%20Physical%20&... -

Interesting...here is the research backing up MY assertions.

The last area of the brain to reach maturity is the prefrontal cortex, where the so-called executive brain resides—where we make social judgments, weigh alternatives, plan for the future, and hold our behavior in check.
"The executive brain doesn't hit adult levels until the age of 25," says Jay Giedd of the National Institute of Mental Health, one of the lead scientists on the neuroimaging studies. "At puberty, you have adult passions, sex drive, energy, and emotion, but the reining in doesn't happen until much later." It is no wonder, perhaps, that teenagers seem to lack good judgment or the ability to restrain impulses. "We can vote at 18," says Giedd, "and drive a car. But you can't rent a car until you're 25. In terms of brain anatomy, the only ones who have it right are the car-rental people."

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 12:33:17 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you're still living at home, you aren't capable of making decisions about which apartment to rent.

You're right, in a situation such as yours. However, you've finished high school and have worked for almost half the years the op has been alive. I was unclear. It isn't the living at home, it's the being supported totally by his parents that I referred to.

Most high school students I know, including my own, get asked (sometimes sharply) about their homework, get told to go to sleep, get grounded for not doing chores, get allowances instead of working, borrow mom's car instead of having their own, have someone do their laundry for them. And much of this carries over to a college freshman. I'm curious if the op ever cooks a meal, or can. Does his own laundry. Pays his own car insurance. Pays rent. and so on. Because these kinds of things, which you do, are what give people life experience.

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RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 12:41:00 PM

bandofthehawk176

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DesFIP i have actually been doing most of those thing for myself, but unfortunetly do to my current condition ive had to fall back on my family. Thank you everyone for the good advice and well i dont feel i need to comment on the not so kind words. But ive heard plenty and i wolnt be checking this any longer. Have fun everyone.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 3:55:06 PM

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Sure, if you're into the leather culture, and that's what it is you do, if you're just plain old into bdsm and kinky sex, then no I don't care. There's no rule I know of saying you have to earn the right to do bdsm, and it is indeed any one can come to dungeons and kinky events, and just hang out with out earning leathers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

On another note (I don't care if any one hates me for it), I've noticed that it's "older" het people who are saying that "anyone" can do WIITWD and frankly I'm damned tired of letting every 40-something, 300 lb, D&D player come to "extreme" night just to use their bunny fur because they don't fit in anywhere else (you all know who I'm talking about). Fuck "all inclusive"....part of what made the Leather community what it was, was not being "all inclusive".

I can't be the only individual who's tired of being politically correct with kink and expectations of Leather folks' behaviors. I think people of all ages should have to earn their Leather (yes I did)

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 3:58:20 PM

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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True.

quote:

You're right, in a situation such as yours. However, you've finished high school and have worked for almost half the years the op has been alive. I was unclear. It isn't the living at home, it's the being supported totally by his parents that I referred

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you're still living at home, you aren't capable of making decisions about which apartment to rent.

You're right, in a situation such as yours. However, you've finished high school and have worked for almost half the years the op has been alive. I was unclear. It isn't the living at home, it's the being supported totally by his parents that I referred to.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 8:51:14 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 11/16/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you're still living at home, you aren't capable of making decisions about which apartment to rent.

You're right, in a situation such as yours. However, you've finished high school and have worked for almost half the years the op has been alive. I was unclear. It isn't the living at home, it's the being supported totally by his parents that I referred to.

Most high school students I know, including my own, get asked (sometimes sharply) about their homework, get told to go to sleep, get grounded for not doing chores, get allowances instead of working, borrow mom's car instead of having their own, have someone do their laundry for them. And much of this carries over to a college freshman. I'm curious if the op ever cooks a meal, or can. Does his own laundry. Pays his own car insurance. Pays rent. and so on. Because these kinds of things, which you do, are what give people life experience.

Your kids are in high school and you still do their laundry?

Wow! I'm a college freshman, how do I sign up for that kind of deal?

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Why is Youth Such a problem with everyone - 4/21/2009 9:46:06 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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UNABOMBER!!!!

HI!

Long time no see. There are actually a lot of very wise youngsters here. If you're not getting the proper respect, try not to take it too personally. The peope who are dissing you may be remembering their own bone-headed youth and thinking you're just like they were. So if they're going to prejudge you like that, just walk on by until you find those of us who have a more open mind.

You'll be older, wiser and more experienced in no time- just use your best judgement. Relaxed confidence will go a long way, so get some. Just be yourself, and you'll attract the kind of people who are like you.

Play, explore, and have FUN!

_____________________________

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(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

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