RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 7/23/2009 9:53:24 PM

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

There's never any one true way in life, let alone this "lifestyle". We do what we do, and if we love it, good for us. Trite though it sounds, anyone who tells you you're not doing it properly is probably insecure in what it is they do, or just generally clueless.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to ErosandPsycheNZ)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/4/2009 7:27:47 AM

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/31/2009
Status: offline

Straight dominants are just fearful. You know you are. Cowards who can give pain but are scared little babies/bullies. A switch knows to temper what is given as it will be back to bite him/her and we need to protect the relationship. Submissive have very low self-esteem. Both sides are way too focused on self.

"When a problem comes around...you must whip it"

< Message edited by a100010001000 -- 9/4/2009 7:28:30 AM >

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/6/2009 8:19:45 PM

Posts: 130
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline

Switches are not confused, Switches are not players, Switches aren't afraid of commitment, Switches are those who have found through PERSONAL experiance that they like both sides of the toy...and both sides of the lifestyle to some any or all extent. Good for you ErosandPsycheNZ that you've found something so indescribably lovely!!!

i've been a switch since my first introduction to BDSM when i was 16. i feel at home riding the line between Dom and Sub. i am not one label. i am ME, from head to toes and everywhere in between. Some people say switches are just smart assed masochists. i would dare any of those to sub to a switch....or take a switch as a sub....any day.

But that's just my two cents, for what it's really worth.
lil bit

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/8/2009 2:07:06 PM

Posts: 20
Joined: 8/26/2009
Status: offline

I know that the moment, the scene, the way i feel that day determines what role I play. I enjoy having the whole world laid out in front of me to try. I choose not to limit myself with a label at all. I enjoy being.... that simple. I am a being not a doing or a name.
Labels are made to keep people in a box so that others can be comfortable. The only need for a label is to describe...nothing more. "A rose by any other name..."

(in reply to Steelslilbit)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/9/2009 12:32:19 PM

Posts: 37
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline

untrue there are people that truly only enjoy subbing or domming ...and that is their take on life.
If you dont like it dont eat it.

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/9/2009 2:12:50 PM

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: a100010001000

Straight dominants are just fearful. You know you are. Cowards who can give pain but are scared little babies/bullies. A switch knows to temper what is given as it will be back to bite him/her and we need to protect the relationship. Submissive have very low self-esteem. Both sides are way too focused on self.

"When a problem comes around...you must whip it"

I'd like to say, this is EXACTLY the same attitude others have about Switches.

It's the same thing as saying Switch cant make up their minds.

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat

(in reply to a100010001000)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/9/2009 7:03:48 PM

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

Start a separate thread & you'll get a better response to your specific query than you will high-jacking another thread . . . . . .

& welcome to the boards . . . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: librarysub

Question from truely clueless me. Does anyone have trouble emotionally topping? i can give some pain in service to Master, but He would really like me to do some "trash talk" occasionally. The one time i did really well, i couldn't turn back and be a good girl. We've decided not to try it again, but i hate feeling like i've failed.

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.

The Verbossinator

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 9/13/2009 3:52:44 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Isn't it the right partner that makes it perfection and not just being able to switch? I bet there are plenty of switches with whom it wouldn't be perfection.

I'm glad you're so happy. But I admit to a little confusion. If it is switching that makes you happy and not the relationship, does that mean that those of us who don't switch aren't really happy even though we think we are? Have I really been lying to myself the last 8 years?

The labels don't matter, the people do.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DemonKia)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 11/20/2009 8:12:10 PM

Posts: 90
Joined: 2/12/2009
Status: offline

I don't think that i am confused, i am the furthermost thing from a player, i am more sub then dom. not to say that i don't like being charge from time to time. so it's i like both , if i were one or the other, i don't think i would feel complete.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 11/21/2009 2:46:55 AM

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I think this thing about being confused if your a switch is just an online myth. In all the time I have been on the rl scene and that's a very long time, I have never encountered this sort of attitude.
I have encountered prejudice towards female dominance... something like 'there is no such thing as a real female Domme!' but I haven't even heard so much as a whisper of disdain towards switches.
I have given up trying to defend my switch side online because I have reached the conclusion that the winderuppers are not real to begin with.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Ellise56)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 11/21/2009 3:51:28 AM

Posts: 102
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline

I don't think it's possible to make meaningful generalizations about "switches". That term lumps together several very different kinds of people. There are some persons who are primarily dominant or submissive, but open to experiencing the other role under some circumstances. (Such as the desire to please a partner.) There are persons who are dominant with some partners, submissive with others, depending on the overall dynamic of the relationship. There are others still who are able to go back and forth between both roles with the same partner, some even within the same encounter. There are also dominants who sometimes wish to experience physical pain, sometimes in order to understand better the effects of a particular implement or technique, or sometimes because they feel it is important that the submissive see that they are not dishing out anything they themselves could not take.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 12/9/2009 3:55:12 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline

I find switching akin to bisexuality in that certain people with a certain identity (gay, sub, straight whatever) seem to find it difficult to accept that others might be different....

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 12/9/2009 8:57:03 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

I do not know if I would consider switches confused. I bet it is more likely they are afraid of commitment.

Switches are players. . .

If you can give your beating and get one too wouldn't you - no I personally would not. But I understand the logic behind switching. I've not read enough about it yet to offer anything more than the above opinion.

Switches are like bisexuals, and bisexual porn is one of the top sellers in that industry. Someone's got it right....

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to Esinn)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 12/15/2009 1:26:49 AM

Posts: 46
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline

I want to thank the multi-verse for ways of the switch. It's rather enjoyable.I find that there are moments when the roles need to be defined. It's basic common sense, of course.For me as a switch, this opens, even expands the experence at the moment, It's been said, that there are many paths to yourself. And if you find your Self on one side of the fence or sitting on it, hovering over,it, under it or don't even see a fence........
What would you do? Deny Self?
an unexamened live isn't worth living, right? Same for the sexual life. the old bi argument.When I was a kid, I remember fags telling me eating pussy was gross and the regular guys I knew can't look at a cock, let alone suck it 'couse they didn't want to be fags ( unless they happened to be alone with me, and I still won't tell;) So I'm used to hearing the "you're confused" crap. If someone was to say that to me right now , I think all I could do is look at them and say" you're kidding me",
W/who and W/what Y/you are is second to what Y/you want to Do. here and now.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 12/15/2009 3:58:08 AM

Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

If I believed them when they tell me I'm just confused, I'd just be...well, confused!
Total agreement on switching being akin to bisexuality in this way; I am both, and sure of it.
Loving to dominate doesn't limit your ability to sub, and vice-versa.
Being attracted to women doesn't limit your desire for men, and vice-versa.
(Actually I've had more difficulty being openly bisexual with lesbians than I have being openly switchy with kinksters...but I digress)

(in reply to johndafreak)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 12/15/2009 8:10:22 AM

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

I do not know if I would consider switches confused. I bet it is more likely they are afraid of commitment.

Switches are players. . .

If you can give your beating and get one too wouldn't you - no I personally would not. But I understand the logic behind switching. I've not read enough about it yet to offer anything more than the above opinion.

No, I don't think you understand the logic behind switching, and based on the opinions above, you have not read enough about it to offer any opinion.

(in reply to Esinn)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 3/25/2010 3:40:40 PM

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/14/2010
Status: offline

I can only hope to be so lucky ErosandPsycheNZ

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 3/26/2010 3:31:17 AM

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: a100010001000

Straight dominants are just fearful. You know you are. Cowards who can give pain but are scared little babies/bullies. A switch knows to temper what is given as it will be back to bite him/her and we need to protect the relationship. Submissive have very low self-esteem. Both sides are way too focused on self.

"When a problem comes around...you must whip it"

I think you have a very intolerant view on things.
Most dominants completely respect switches and think its all cool and its the same with submissives. Some (just a small minority) don't understand us and so put us down. That is no different than what your doing here.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to a100010001000)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 3/28/2010 3:27:56 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/9/2010
Status: offline

Switches are not confused! I just feel like I have a streak of domme and sub in my head depending on who I'm with........nothing wrong with that! And as someone said....a switch with a switch..........ooooh wot fun!

reddivine

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 3/28/2010 4:35:14 AM

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: a100010001000

Straight dominants are just fearful. You know you are. Cowards who can give pain but are scared little babies/bullies.
...and yet in your profile you identify as a dominant male who is looking only for women, so "straight dominant". OK, then I guess you are correct

Submissive have very low self-esteem. ...trust me, my self-esteem is doing just fine! And my focus is where it is needed, either on me or Him, depending on what is needed at the time

I don't have an issue with switches - in fact, life would be a lot more fun and interesting if I was a switch! But that's not the way I'm wired, so sub it is

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to a100010001000)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

1.492