RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right

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RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 3/28/2010 2:10:05 PM

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Some switches are confused. So are some Doms and subs. And some people are just experimenting until they figure out which direction to take.

I personally love playing with female switches. Dominating someone with dominant tendencies feels like a challenge...plus, they're versatile when it comes to power structures: they can be the middle rung on the authority ladder--above the sub, and below the Dom. Makes for all sorts of interesting group scenarios. Let's hear it for diversity...

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 3/28/2010 4:19:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: downland

Some switches are confused. So are some Doms and subs. And some people are just experimenting until they figure out which direction to take.

I personally love playing with female switches. Dominating someone with dominant tendencies feels like a challenge...plus, they're versatile when it comes to power structures: they can be the middle rung on the authority ladder--above the sub, and below the Dom. Makes for all sorts of interesting group scenarios. Let's hear it for diversity...

YAY a man that can handle a challenge. Your a rare breed!

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to downland)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/16/2010 7:34:23 AM

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I've always thought so - switching is more playful...

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/16/2010 2:25:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: westside

I've always thought so - switching is more playful...

In some cases you may well be right but never ever try to define what a 'switch' is because you will probably get it wrong.

I am a switch that lives with power exchange 24/7 Thats not even worth trying to explain except to say, it can be playful and wonderful but it can also be extremely serious.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to westside)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/18/2010 8:58:34 PM

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Joined: 8/10/2009
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quote:

Some switches are confused. So are some Doms and subs. And some people are just experimenting until they figure out which direction to take.

I personally love playing with female switches. Dominating someone with dominant tendencies feels like a challenge...plus, they're versatile when it comes to power structures: they can be the middle rung on the authority ladder--above the sub, and below the Dom. Makes for all sorts of interesting group scenarios. Let's hear it for diversity...

YAY a man that can handle a challenge. Your a rare breed!

I love 'em both. ^.^ So right, so true, so makes me all soft n tingly. ^.^ And too true allthatjaz, later in the thread where you cautioned against trying to define a switch. I think a lot of switches (speaking in personal opinion here, strictly) will almost seek to defy any label put on us. Switches are an odd bunch like that, all kinds of non-conformists. ;)

_____________________________

i'll try anything once, twice if i like it.

If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

Offical Language: Caryn-ese
(Translator available upon request)

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/23/2010 4:54:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: downland

Some switches are confused. So are some Doms and subs. And some people are just experimenting until they figure out which direction to take.

I personally love playing with female switches. Dominating someone with dominant tendencies feels like a challenge...plus, they're versatile when it comes to power structures: they can be the middle rung on the authority ladder--above the sub, and below the Dom. Makes for all sorts of interesting group scenarios. Let's hear it for diversity...

Amen my good man.

Personally I'm a switch and knew it before I even entertained this kind of lifestyle. recently I've realized that I'm a 60/40 topper that enjoys the tables turned on him by some people (I have control issues with others), and would love to find another 60/40 topper for the simple reason that I'd love to occasionally butt heads with her and see who will come out on top.

(in reply to downland)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/24/2010 1:21:30 PM

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Lord no, I don't think switches are generally confused. On reading this thread I get the impression that they're a little smug, but definitely not confused :-)

[Edited for a grammar error that would have me pantied and standing in a corner - if I were a switch ;-P ]

< Message edited by crazyml -- 5/24/2010 1:22:34 PM >

(in reply to ErosandPsycheNZ)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/24/2010 1:22:57 PM

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I don't know about smug...a bit defensive maybe....switches take alot of heat for being undefinable...I think it scares people.

Fuck em! or don't...

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to crazyml)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/24/2010 8:54:05 PM

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Just my opinion and we know the saying about that.....
I've found that I switch mainly to balance out my moods, also the relationship dictates my position a lot of the times. I have had a wonderful Master and was Blessed to be with Him but could never domme Him because of the relationship. I have met women and men I would love to dominate. I think it's a meeting of the minds and the personality that will choose the switch behavior. Sometimes I find I have little or no control over the role I play, it just comes naturally. Perhaps your Master is not the one to switch with.

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 5/24/2010 8:57:54 PM

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Oh ya and as far as Haters go - perhaps you feel boxed into your role?? Rise above it fellow switchers!!! We know we got it good!! What was it pizza and KFC - perhaps throw in 31 flavors!!!!

(in reply to flipnlovr)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 6/3/2010 9:52:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: flipnlovr

Oh ya and as far as Haters go - perhaps you feel boxed into your role?? Rise above it fellow switchers!!! We know we got it good!! What was it pizza and KFC - perhaps throw in 31 flavors!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA! I love this. ^.^

_____________________________

i'll try anything once, twice if i like it.

If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

Offical Language: Caryn-ese
(Translator available upon request)

(in reply to flipnlovr)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 6/4/2010 8:40:48 AM

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Laurell, I have to agree with Crazyml that a few of the posts on this thread seem to be critical of people who don't switch. I don't think that's the general attitude, and I think it can be a little difficult to celebrate our switchyness without putting down people who stick to one side or the other. I don't think anyone's been mean or judgemental about it.

(in reply to Steelslilbit)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 6/15/2010 2:42:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ErosandPsycheNZ

It's only taken me a year to work this out... I guess some take much longer.

I wondered if all those purist Doms, Dommes, subs, slaves etc had it right... you had to pick one sexual orientation and stick with it.... I was told that apparently... switches are confused.

Wrong. I'm not confused. I think Doms, Dommes, subs and slaves are all welcome to their own reality and they are quite welcome to be happy with it.

Oh... but to be switch :-).... what a glorious life I have found. My partner is switch.... I am switch..... our sex life is sublime/divine..... in fact it's perfect. No apologies.... I've found Nirvana.

My message is this.... if you think you are switch... explore that possibility... and if you are happy with it, then embrace it and enjoy :-)

Eros and Psyche xx

I found out right away !

I enjoy powerful women, but not The Bitch From Hell stuff. I don’t want purple bum cheeks. I don’t like pain at all, but a light spanking is fine, but only is she wishes it. I might accept a firmer beating from a woman I really liked, but only if she needed it.

I would also love to tie a woman up, why, I don’t know ! I’d spank her if I knew she liked and needed it. I think I’d like to spank her too !

So there we are. I am a switch.

I am wondering about the dynamics of your relationship. Do you move from Domme to sub with your man ?

I am pretty inexperienced. I’ve had contact with two women only. One is Domme.
If she were a secret switch and told me she wished to change roles, I don’t think I could. Her presence shoves me into subby mode. Its her voice, and the way she looks at me.

The other friend is a switch, who is mostly sub. Should we play, she is the sub. Whenever she tries to Domme me, she cant. It does not matter what she says or does, it seems unalterable with her as it is with the other. It seems that once the roles are established, they do not change. That seems to be the case with me anyway.

It seems to be different with you. Perhaps I just need more playmates to explore this stuff with.

(in reply to ErosandPsycheNZ)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 7/6/2010 1:52:41 AM

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Straight dominants are just fearful. You know you are. Cowards who can give pain but are scared little babies/bullies. A switch knows to temper what is given as it will be back to bite him/her and we need to protect the relationship. Submissive have very low self-esteem. Both sides are way too focused on self.

"When a problem comes around...you must whip it"

Love it!!!! I don't know how to put the above in the quote box YET.

_____________________________

If I have to pull up my big girl panties and "Deal With It" one more time, the elastic is going to break and I am really gonna have to show my ass!! :)

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 7/6/2010 2:39:46 AM

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I can totally get my head round people just wanting to be dominant. I can't get my head round someone just wanting to be sub but that is only because my heads not there.
At the end of the day its personal preference. Its the way we are made up and there is absolutely nothing cowardly in any of it.
I know many people who are dominant only and I have great respect for them
I know many people that are sub only and I have great respect for them
I know some switch couples and I have great respect for them too.

The only people I don't respect are those that try and tell me that I'm a game player, not real, confused, unrealistic or greedy. Because those people haven't taken the time or care to understand. Those are the sort of people that believe the world is only made up of dominance and submission

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Silkers)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 7/11/2010 4:05:08 PM

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Joined: 7/9/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ErosandPsycheNZ

It's only taken me a year to work this out... I guess some take much longer.

I wondered if all those purist Doms, Dommes, subs, slaves etc had it right... you had to pick one sexual orientation and stick with it.... I was told that apparently... switches are confused.

Wrong. I'm not confused. I think Doms, Dommes, subs and slaves are all welcome to their own reality and they are quite welcome to be happy with it.

Oh... but to be switch :-).... what a glorious life I have found. My partner is switch.... I am switch..... our sex life is sublime/divine..... in fact it's perfect. No apologies.... I've found Nirvana.

My message is this.... if you think you are switch... explore that possibility... and if you are happy with it, then embrace it and enjoy :-)

Eros and Psyche xx

Whenever discussions of right and wrong arise, it is easy to get lost in opinions. Ultimately, whatever preference brings the most function to you and the people around you is what's right for you.

It does not surprise me that "purist doms and subs" would find the notion of being a switch "wrong" since it is contrary to their personal lifestyle.

(in reply to ErosandPsycheNZ)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 7/11/2010 6:44:00 PM

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Being a switch comes naturally, I enjoy both ends of the spectrum, interesting that it would be so controversial!

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 8/16/2010 9:54:38 AM

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My problem is finding another switch nearby that wants to play.

(in reply to librarysub)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 8/16/2010 3:01:47 PM

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Confusion???
Like bad is good
mistress is bitch
princess in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom( thats so old its only interesting if you turn it around.)
What I find much more incredible is that some master would want a slave thats truly stupid, filthy(yukstinker) and bad.
Now who the fuck wants a stupid lame ass filthy piece of shit 24/7? That dumbassdom must have low selfesteem. Next thing you know he wants her to be ugly also.
Now thats confusion for you in the most pure form.

(in reply to scubaguy38)

RE: Switches.... we've got it perfectly right - 8/16/2010 10:58:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: downland

Some switches are confused. So are some Doms and subs. And some people are just experimenting until they figure out which direction to take.

I personally love playing with female switches. Dominating someone with dominant tendencies feels like a challenge...plus, they're versatile when it comes to power structures: they can be the middle rung on the authority ladder--above the sub, and below the Dom. Makes for all sorts of interesting group scenarios. Let's hear it for diversity...

This. I don't know I haven't actually tried switching. I certainly do like being with someone who I can randomly tell to take some initiative and see what they can do (If you're gonna be good at sex, what's the point if you're always tied up/held down, etc).

It's abit confusing to me since my first exposure to bdsm was abunch of femdom fantasies.

And I'm not scared of bottoming or anything like that, but it doesn't feel natural to me, I'd have alot of limits and for one thing I'd definately not submit without a fight. As far as non-sexual things go I definately cannot possibly be submissive, so...

If someone really wants to top me, I'd let them, but I don't really need it and it hasn't happened yet.

O, and I think the other thing is, I'm extremely controlling of my own reactions. So it'd be interesting if nothing else to see how I would process my emotions. But then again that's not really submissive is it.

Heh. :P

I guess this falls into to the same category as me being gay. I can certainly think myself into kissing another dude, because I like to push myself. But at the same time, I definately wasn't born gay and I definately can't have a long-term gay relationship.

I guess in conclusion, I'm just sadistic enough to want to make myself miserable if need be. lol.

Same type of person that climbs Everest. I push myself harder than anyone will ever push me.

/rant over.

(in reply to downland)

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