"Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?

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"Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 10:13:49 AM

Daddyluvsitrough

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New to the board here and I apologize if this is an old topic that's been covered. I've seen many profiles of submissive females that say they are strictly interested in an "online" D/s relationship.

Do you see this as a legitimate relationship? Why or why not?

Personally I don't understand this dynamic at all if you've never met this person in the flesh & blood. Kinky pen-pals are fine, the written word is a powerful medium but I fail to see how someone can consider themselves truly "collared" by someone they've never met in real life.

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 10:16:24 AM

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Might want to do a search. This topic has been covered often.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 10:30:59 AM

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The D/s world is one of interaction. The Dom must be in a position to observe the sub, and the sub must take cues from the facial expressions of the Dom. Many people that visit this site express their understanding of D/s in term of "service" and how can you truly be of service to another from the other end of a TCP/IP connection?

It is a way to explore the mental fantasies, for newbies to learn more, but after a while it is difficult to impossible to develop the relationship further. Penpals is a good way to put it, but I am not sure you can go beyond that point with the written word. Perhaps in exceptional circumstances it is possible, but not for most people.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 10:33:01 AM

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Daddyluvsitrough the topic has been raised once or twice.

To answer the question, yes it is as legitimate as any other medium, and also subject to the knowledge, skills and experience of both participants. Personally I do like to meet face to face. That does not however negate the value of an online relationship, which I have also had. While it's perfectly possible that she's doing her knitting during an online scene, she could equally well be doing the same on the phone, or between meetings. With voice and cam available online, the online options are of course much greater than they used to be. To address the final point, the collar is for Me the mental and emotional decision to submit. The physical does add to that, but the mental link is the important one, and does not require the physical.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 10:51:03 AM

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Hi Daddyluvsitrough
No i would not be interested in an on-line relationship. It is nothing I would knock for another though. Personally i cant be attached to a computer and serving it, and that is how I view it. Others do not and some have had successful relationship on-line.

Don't worry about this question being already asked before. I am sure it will be asked again. Welcome to the boards.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 11:44:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

New to the board here and I apologize if this is an old topic that's been covered. I've seen many profiles of submissive females that say they are strictly interested in an "online" D/s relationship.

Do you see this as a legitimate relationship? Why or why not?

Personally I don't understand this dynamic at all if you've never met this person in the flesh & blood. Kinky pen-pals are fine, the written word is a powerful medium but I fail to see how someone can consider themselves truly "collared" by someone they've never met in real life.

When I can have all the thrills of owning and driving a $300,000.00 sportscar by looking at it on my computer screen instead of saving, and paying for, insuring it, maintaining it, buying expensive fuel for it, etc........ then I will consider online M/s as a viable option for me.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 11:53:01 AM

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Online subs provide neither a strong back to weed the beans, skillful hands to do the dishes, or a knowledgeable mouth to get me off. As LaTigresse said, when that changes, let me know.

Now, I like to keep up with my subs online, but that's not scening; that's two people talking, perhaps flirting a bit.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 12:12:41 PM

Daddyluvsitrough

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Sorry about re-hashing an old-topic. I'm new to CM and technically-challenged, next time I'll attempt to master (pun intended) the search function before starting a new topic. I figured this one was probably beating a dead horse but appreciate the patience & responses by Doms & subs weighing on the subject.

It wasn't my intention to offend those who are heavily into the "online" D/s realm - as I feel it's a good starting point and safe way for new people to learn - but just trying to understand those who limit themselves to an online scenario.

(in reply to Whenready)

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 12:48:39 PM

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Don't worry about being technology challenged. I tell people on a regular basis that I'm a computer twit.

Welcome to the boards and enjoy your reads on the topic that can be found using the search function.

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(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 1:02:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

... I've seen many profiles of submissive females that say they are strictly interested in an "online" D/s relationship.

I'll admit right off that I don't peruse the profiles on the other side, but I would be surprised to find a significant number of submissive women interested only in online.

But perhaps it's women who've had too much experience with men in general. With online, at least a woman knows that as long as the relationship continues, the guy is going to have to make some kind of effort at communication... and he's obviously not interested only in his own physical gratification.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 1:07:14 PM

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While it's not up to me to legitimize or illegitimize someone else's relationship, I would not want an online relationship for myself.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 1:10:52 PM

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I think some women are interested in on-line only because they have a strong connection to fantasy and never see a reason to taking it beyond that level and some are already married/involved and on-line does not seem like cheating to them.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 1:20:17 PM

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Never ceases to amaze me the amount of people prepared to diss an online relationship without even considering who is in the relationship or what the purpose, intention or goal of that relationship is.

Yeah right, point taken, there's none of the physical interaction that you get between two people in real time, but let's face it, how many people actually go to the time and trouble of getting to know one another first and understanding each other before bringing D/s and the collar into the relationship and how many take the risk and jump in there with both feet?

The way I see it there's pros and cons whichever way you look at it.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 1:21:38 PM

lizi

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For some people D/s simply means sex and if they are already in a relationship and find that unfullfilling or just want more what could be easier than having an affair online? With or without their partners knowledge I think the online relationship fills the 'extra' niche for a lot of people.

(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 1:34:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

Do you see this as a legitimate relationship? Why or why not?

Yes, absolutely. One of the things that I've discovered over the years is there really are very few desires that can't be filled in some way and for lots of folks, they are filled by online relationships. Online is more than enough for those it fills just as offline is more than enough for those it fills as well. Some folks want online and offline relationships and that's enough for them. Whatever meets someone's needs can't be measured, really, by those who aren't in their universe. I serve myself best by being in a relationship in which I live with my Sir, where he has access to me 24/7. Others are best served by living apart from their partner and each is legit in its own right. In other words, I know what works for me at this time and do make an assumption that others know what is best for them, too. Someone else who is content and happy in an online relationship may well stay content and happy for years or a lifetime with online .. or, they may change and try something different and new tomorrow just as I could wake up tomorrow and say .. nope, I'm done with this and moving on to something new! Stranger things have happened and I just prefer to keep my options and mind open to the possibilities.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 2:18:02 PM

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Mail order brides used to form relationships and engagements through letter writing only. Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's engagement was primarily in the form of letter writing. You going to say those marriages weren't real because they came about through a text based medium?

What about people who are married to those in the military, limited to phone, mail and email. Are those relationships not real because they aren't flesh based?

You have every right to say you aren't capable of forming a strong bond with someone through text and/or phone. You don't have the right to say that just because you can't do it, no one else can. The greatest sex organ is the brain, engage that and the body will follow. If you can't engage that it doesn't matter what you do to the body.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 2:29:33 PM

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Joined: 6/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

New to the board here and I apologize if this is an old topic that's been covered. I've seen many profiles of submissive females that say they are strictly interested in an "online" D/s relationship.

Do you see this as a legitimate relationship? Why or why not?

Personally I don't understand this dynamic at all if you've never met this person in the flesh & blood. Kinky pen-pals are fine, the written word is a powerful medium but I fail to see how someone can consider themselves truly "collared" by someone they've never met in real life.

o/l relationships are'nt taken very seriously by P/people for the very reasons you give.

(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 2:51:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Mail order brides used to form relationships and engagements through letter writing only. Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's engagement was primarily in the form of letter writing. You going to say those marriages weren't real because they came about through a text based medium?
Did Robert and Elizabeth get married before they had ever met? Or did they write letters, then meet and get married?

What about people who are married to those in the military, limited to phone, mail and email. Are those relationships not real because they aren't flesh based?
Again did the people involved get married before they had met in real life? Or did they get married in real life and then one of them had to leave for a while for the military?

I have seen many profiles on CM of people who want nothing but online. They never want to actually meet the person they are in a relationship with. To me that has nothing to do with your examples. Now I am not saying they are wrong, but I have a lot of trouble seeing the point in it.

You have every right to say you aren't capable of forming a strong bond with someone through text and/or phone. You don't have the right to say that just because you can't do it, no one else can. The greatest sex organ is the brain, engage that and the body will follow. If you can't engage that it doesn't matter what you do to the body.
Your right, no one can say what is good for another. Some people really enjoy online relationships and never need to meet the person they are involved with.

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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 3:54:36 PM

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quote:

they are strictly interested in an "online" D/s relationship.

Do you see this as a legitimate relationship? Why or why not?

It does not matter if I think it is legitimate or not. What matters is how those involved see it.

On a personal note; online is not something that would fulfill me. It's ok for the beginning stages of getting to know someone, but I need a physical/touch/sight/smell/etc relationship to be happy.

Allison

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Allison

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(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)

RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/11/2009 4:13:18 PM

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Joined: 5/31/2008
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for me personally, will not do on line...it is a hard limit! this weeds out the undesirable ones and leaves room for the ones that take this as seriously as i do. i know there are a lot of folks on here that see this as acceptable, although i cannot even understand how people that have never met..and probably will not meet...see this as any kind of relationship much less D/s
Thanks
ree!

(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)

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