RE: Can submissives be assertive?

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/6/2006 12:15:08 PM

ScorpGirl444

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/20/2006
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88% assertive
75% social

Not bad.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/6/2006 12:22:51 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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OK< I only got a 98 on the first one...

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 2/6/2006 12:23:28 PM >

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/6/2006 12:58:29 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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75 on the assertiveness test.

70 on the social skills test.

C~

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/6/2006 7:29:04 PM

typesgirl

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/17/2004
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I'm a 90 on the assertiveness.

I think the idea that subs can't be assertive is a misnomer. It's all about who you're assertive with. I'm super social and assertive in life outside my relationship but when it comes to Master...well I'm different and I think He likes that.
typesgirl

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 2:03:42 AM

tendergirl

Posts: 103
Joined: 11/25/2005
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I only got a 20 .... argh submissive or what?

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 12:29:29 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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Assertiveness = 78

Social Skills = 80

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 1:35:44 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: typesgirl

I'm a 90 on the assertiveness.

I think the idea that subs can't be assertive is a misnomer. It's all about who you're assertive with. I'm super social and assertive in life outside my relationship but when it comes to Master...well I'm different and I think He likes that.
typesgirl

i agree with you. If i wasn't assertive at work i wouldn't succeed there. If i wasn't assertive with my family they would walk all over me. i am required to be strong and assertive with the world but fall to his feet before him. Nowhere in his ownership of me does he want me submitting to anyone else....unless of course i am instructed to. If people at work knew how submissive i was, they would be shocked. It is my submission to my Master which gives me the strength to stand up before the rest of the world.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 6:58:56 PM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
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65 on Assertiveness, 77 on Social one (69 ability to deal with conflict)

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Post #: 48

RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 7:38:03 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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55 assertive.....85 social....eh...

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 8:27:54 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
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quote:

I'd be curious to see how submissives score on this free personality test:

http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/assertiveness_abridged_access.html

I scored 85, but then, I'm not submissive.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 8:44:58 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
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quote:

This is an even more interesting test:

http://www.queendom.com/tests/relationships/social_skills_access.html

>>

On this one, I scored 79. Interesting, indeed!

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 10:28:29 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
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Results of Your Assertiveness Test
Assertiveness

Your score = 85

What does your score mean?
According to your results on the Assertiveness Test, you are doing quite well in the assertiveness department. Somewhere along the line, you developed the necessary skills and self-confidence to stand your ground, whether it's with family, friends, or colleagues at work or school. You know that you deserve respect from others, and the way you behave encourages others to treat you accordingly. As long as you show as much respect for others as you expect in return, you are on the right track.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/7/2006 10:55:03 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
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Hmmm .... i also got an 85 on the Queendom test.

<might have to rethink this whole sub thing>

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Post #: 53

RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/8/2006 7:59:21 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
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55% on the Assertiveness Test. However, I can't put much validity into it as it makes the assumption that I act the way I feel. That if I feel nervous about making a phone call, then I don't make it. And that's false as I usually wait sometime until I'm sure of what to say and how to say it, plus feel up to it. I've learned coping skills but the test doesn't allow for that. Feelings aren't facts and they assume the two are identical.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/8/2006 8:03:21 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

55% on the Assertiveness Test. However, I can't put much validity into it as it makes the assumption that I act the way I feel. That if I feel nervous about making a phone call, then I don't make it. And that's false as I usually wait sometime until I'm sure of what to say and how to say it, plus feel up to it. I've learned coping skills but the test doesn't allow for that. Feelings aren't facts and they assume the two are identical.

LOL scarily that's exactly the response that I had.

I'm a fairly shy and anxious person a lot of the time. But I've held leadership positions since I was very young. I go to clubs on my own regularly. I get things done and most people don't believe me when I tell them I'm shy.

The fact is that a lot of people DO believe submissives are meek and shy and soft and need tending to. Otherwise we wouldn't continue to have this sort of thread come up.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/8/2006 8:20:18 AM

incognitoinmass

Posts: 428
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: Massachusetts
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Speaking only for myself, submitting is not the same as being submissive. I am not at all submissive or timid in my vanilla life. But behind closed doors I crave the release that complete surrender brings.

It's practically cliche to hear about hard charging types like police officers, corporate go-getters, etc who are submissive in their private lives.

I have no problem being assertive if assertive is what is required. Besides, sometimes a little push back gives everything a delicious edge.

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Post #: 56

RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/8/2006 8:35:22 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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Assertiveness Test
Your Score = 95
What does your score mean?

According to your results on the Assertiveness Test, you are doing quite well in the assertiveness department. Somewhere along the line, you developed the necessary skills and self-confidence to stand your ground, whether it's with family, friends, or colleagues at work or school. You know that you deserve respect from others, and the way you behave encourages others to treat you accordingly. As long as you show as much respect for others as you expect in return, you are on the right track.

Social Skills Test
Your Score = 90
Interpretation

Your results show that your social skills are as sharp as a tack. People most likely feel comfortable with you because you know what it takes to put them at ease, and you willingly use this knowledge to do so. You are fortunate to have excellent social skills because this puts you at an advantage in many ways.

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/8/2006 9:55:36 AM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
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i got 68 that was my score

i guess that's ok

Sincerely Master Hal's slaveslut andie

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RE: Can submissives be assertive? - 2/8/2006 12:26:34 PM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

Assertive:

Your score = 50

What does your score mean?
According to your results on the Assertiveness Test, you seem to be doing relatively well in standing up for yourself. In most day-to-day situations, you possess the necessary skills and inner-confidence to tell others what you need, think or want. There may be the occasional moment, however, when you find yourself hesitating to declare your view on things. Why not take some steps to improve your ability to stand up for yourself, since you've already mastered the basics? You have nothing to lose, but plenty to gain.

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