RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell?

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RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 6:44:27 PM

monaslave

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Im realistic, but he swears him sure of me especially since were both very spiritually minded and thats what comes first for him as well,and he swears to me he will never find anyone better suited than me, he told me,well let it go time and you will discover,if you hear from me,but you will, he is talking like he is forever committed but Im realistic and he knows that. I think I will tell him from now on to proove it instead of talk.

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Post #: 21

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 6:49:54 PM

lusciouslips19

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

We should have met this day or yesterday but he wanted my period to be over,and me to have a doc check Im healthy,which is about to happen on friday,so we will meet after that,I suppose.

If you have never had a phone call or know his number I would be having sex with him.

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RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:02:02 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

How do you tell if the Dom youre talking to is married or in relationship already?
Im in doubt with this one Im talking to. We have known eachother some years ago,shorter time, and wants me back now and he express to me he never wants to leave me again,for lifetime. We have been talking for a while online and were soon suppose to meet. We are actually living only one hour from eachother. But the times were talking in weekends I can count on my hand, and thats making me wondering if after all hes occupied with somebody else. I know he works also in his spare time so I know hes busy, and I also know his morality is quite high. But still, and I dont know much about his family other than hes single. Do you think its suspicious?
We have not talked of wether or not its only us but on the other hand,our conversations really make you think there is no other,and also the way he talks about wanting me always etc. On the other hand Im not the one laying limits,but I am not willing to be one in the line,while hes got a bunch slaves hanging,or,the other part while he also has his love elsewhere, because I do to want love and if he wants to do it that way,he hasnt informed me,so I had a choice. I thought,by the way he is talking to me, that he wasnt doing somebody else along the line. But beeing away almost each weekend makes me wondering. Like I said,I can count the weekends. And almost every saturday night we have never talked at all. Do you think its strange? I would like to hear some opinions please.
Now how do I approach this,because Im ´already taken´, so to speak.. how can I approach this without hes getting me wrong? because I dont want to give him the wrong impression, like me putting limits on him or doesnt want to do whats told etc. The only thing hes told me,is that hes single,when we started.

He wants to be yours forever, you only live an hour away and still you haven't met or even talked on the phone. So how does he know he wants this to last forever? How do you know? Doesn't make much sense to me, but if you want to know something, ask him.

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Post #: 23

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:08:18 PM

lusciouslips19

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They have met. he came over to her place.

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Post #: 24

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:12:43 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
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No we have not met,we were about to but he wants my period to be over first and doc check,then were meeting.

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Post #: 25

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:13:57 PM

monaslave

Posts: 106
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and,thisthereboi,Ive told him that but he stands firm.

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RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:16:27 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
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Is this the same guy you were freaking out about about a month ago when you were all upset because he said he could be with whomever he wished but you weren't able too? Or is this someone new?

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Post #: 27

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:23:30 PM

RedMagic1

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I'm glad someone's keeping track. This stuff confuses the hell out of me.

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Post #: 28

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:23:59 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

No we have not met,we were about to but he wants my period to be over first and doc check,then were meeting.

ok and maybe next time it will be a flat tire or some other excuse. Dont believe anything anyone says they are until an in person meet.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 29

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:25:14 PM

RedMagic1

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Uh.... and he's bringing papers showing he's totally healthy, because he went to the doctor too, right?

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 30

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:28:25 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Im realistic, but he swears him sure of me especially since were both very spiritually minded and thats what comes first for him as well,and he swears to me he will never find anyone better suited than me, he told me,well let it go time and you will discover,if you hear from me,but you will, he is talking like he is forever committed but Im realistic and he knows that. I think I will tell him from now on to proove it instead of talk.

The only way you will know is to sit down with this guy over coffee and talk. Ask him face to face your questions and concerns and see how he replies back. When you see his facial reactions, how he replies, the way his voice may or may not rise in pitch if he happens to be telling a lie, then you will have a better sense if he is actually single or not. Just because he labels himself a dominant doesn't mean all common sense is tossed into the garbage pile.

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(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 31

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:29:16 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

I don't keep track (CM has that nifty read forum post thing on profiles) so when somthing just seems really similar to what i have seen before or i just can't put my finger on why something seems familiat, i just hit the view posts lol on their profile and either it shows what i was thinking about, or not. I just am trying to get a handle on if this is a new guy erm old guy or if its the same guy she was upset with a month ago because of what he was doing or expecting in the relationship.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Post #: 32

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 7:46:48 PM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

thats right barelynangel, inquiring minds want to know.

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RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 8:32:29 PM

greenearth21

Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

Why not just ask him if he's seeing someone else or has a harem of other slaves? Just be ready for whatever answer you get. However my general rule is if i suspect something odd...I'm better off and choose not to even deal or concern myself with it/or the person.

How do you tell??? You've got many options. As simple as asking to something extreme as checking out where he lives and see whats going on...but dont do anything that warrants an order. Or if its too much work...find something that is clear and you dont even have to worry/question these things

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Post #: 34

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 9:20:43 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

Perhaps you need to slow down a bit. Can't you simply meet for coffee to see if you both want to take it further? If you decide to continue a relationship with him, that would be the time to ask for more information, such as: Are you married, living with someone, etc.

You mentioned that he wanted to wait until your period has ended and you've been checked out by a doctor? The fact that he'd like to see a bill of health when you arrive (by the way, will this be reciprocal?) make it appear that you're going to have sex. I'm not one to discourage anyone from "playing" or whatever on a first meet ....I'd treat this as a first meet as I gather it's been a few years since you've seen each other. You're an adult and it's totally up to you to decide, but as you have quite a few questions, would you think sex is premature?

Just my two pennies....I wish you well.

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RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 9:44:57 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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He won't give you his phone number or any other details. He won't meet for coffee. He's insisting you invite him to your place to have sex the first time you meet.

You need to develop healthy boundaries. Including the fact that you have every right to wait until after you've met in a neutral place to decide if you have any real life attraction. What happens if you don't like him? He has your phone number, knows where you live and could decide to enact a rape scene in revenge for you teasing him as he views it.

Tell him you need more to feel safe before meeting. If he won't agree to call you from home, meet for coffee, answer questions then he obviously doesn't care about your safety or your feelings. Move along. Whether married or not, he's not someone who is concerned about you.

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(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 36

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/19/2009 11:19:50 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

How do you tell if the Dom youre talking to is married or in relationship already?

I've actually gone to the trouble of asking a group of Mongolian yak shavers the question in the OP and the consensus of opinion centred around the advice they gave me. You need to start listening to the sound food makes when you cook it. If your food at any point between sunrise and sundown on at least three occasions makes the same sound as a dog growling, then the chances are that the Dom you are talking to is either married or in a relationship. However this method doesn't work during a Full Moon due to cosmic interference with Neptune.

However seriously, I would expect you to take the above advice as seriously as you asking a bunch of online strangers for opinions on something you really should be trying to work out for yourself based on the information you're getting from the Dom you are talking with.

I'm right with Dame Calla on this one, in that I'm completely mystified as to why a grown adult woman would be talking about such intimate matters as health and when her period is to a guy who she doesn't trust and who clearly isn't inspiring enough confidence within her to enable her to trust him.

Reality has a way of happening those who make a great effort to create it, which means that if you really believe that some guy will fuck you over then guess what, you will sooner or later end up meeting a guy who will fuck you over in reality. It's called wishful thinking.

My question here is why are you even bothering to communicate with someone you are so suspicious and paranoid about? Because all men are shits? Oh please, pull the other one, it's got bells on it. People are people, good and bad, and yes while some people online just chat shit and tell lies, there are plenty others who don't.

Quite frankly, I see no point in getting all worked up, coming up with assumptions and possibly jumping to conclusions. You have a brain and a tongue in your head, and if there's something you're concerned about then you ask that person up front about those concerns. It's then up for you to decide whether you accept what is being said to you or not. To me it's really that simple - either you feel able to trust someone based on the amount of confidence they inspire in you or you don't and you move on. You take what is said at face value until you can meet face to face, but if you feel you can't do that then you simply move on.

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(in reply to monaslave)

Post #: 37

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/20/2009 4:48:27 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

There's no need to be "suspicious." Just make sure you talk to the guy on the phone, have a phone number he can be reached at, and then meet in person at a neutral location.

But he won't talk on the phone. Won't give her a phone number. And insists the first meet be in a hotel room for play.

Don't you think that does deserve suspicion?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 38

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/20/2009 5:29:34 AM

naughtysubK

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/2/2004
Status: offline

you were involved with him 3 years ago, but you have still never met him? so was 3 years ago onlne only too?

you said something in an earlier post about being 'spoken for' or something. Did you agree to be the slave of someone that you have never met and never spoken to on the phone?

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 39

RE: married/in relationship-how do you tell? - 6/20/2009 5:35:10 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

The OP appears to me to be in a panic mode. It is my belief no one can make a healthy decision when their core is fear and panic. This is not her first time being involved with him, yet in all these years it has never gone off line. This in itself would indicate to me, his lack of seriousness. Words are senseless when the actions are the opposite of the words.

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Post #: 40

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