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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here.

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Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:06:49 AM

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The reason subs are correct when they say femdoms (here on CM, and at clubs, and everywhere) are fake is because it's true. Ladies, just get over it, and accept it.

The perception of the "dominant female" in the submissive mind, if he has learned of female domination via fantasy and/or badly produced porn, is that a dominant woman:

* Pursues men indiscriminately. The only requirement is his availability and willingness to submit.
* Is attracted to a man who has nothing to offer other than his slavery (which is conditional)
* Expects no effort from the man at all

This is why there is TRUTH to the assessment that "real femdoms do not exist." This is what these men seek. When they realize that seeking, courting and engaging a dominant woman is the SAME as courting a vanilla woman but requires actually MORE effort, and that dominant women are as selective if not more than their "vanilla" counterparts, all his ideals and fantasies go "poof" and he's left bitter and angry.

They become more bitter when they realize that a woman WILL pursue him indiscriminately, even if he has nothing to offer, and will expect no effort from him at all -- if he pays her by the hour at a professional dungeon. This leads him to believe that not only are all femdoms fake, but the ones that do it are just in it for money.

As a "real" femdom, I find this all to be very sad. Fortunately, through discussions and in groups like this one, some of these misconceptions can be corrected, and those submissives who choose to educate themselves actually really, really stand out from the rest. They have to be willing to accept those three things as FALSE, however, before they even have a chance at a relationship.

Are there any other misconceptions about "real female dominant" that should be addressed?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:18:46 AM

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AAkasha - Your post is fabulous. Some people may be intimidated by your succinct declaration but I applaud you.

I wish there was another word for femdom . Why is the fem an add on, a qualifacation? Like men are the only bosses?

A bright topic
Thanks

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:19:57 AM

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Heh, tongue in cheek, but I wouldn't disagree based on what some submissive men write. Then again, I'd say the same this is true of male doms, no?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:22:32 AM

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quote:

Are there any other misconceptions about "real female dominant" that should be addressed?

how about the misconception that every female has this "real female doiminant" SIDE to them...and it only needs to be coaxed out...or inspired...or given enough tribute...to perform to the fantastic expectations of the "submissive" male?

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:24:52 AM

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Well, aside from the usual.... I've heard that I am not supposed to have a sense of humour, and most especially, a self depreciating one.

To that I reply "Too fucking bad!"

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:29:02 AM

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I was told there was no such thing as a femdom, they are all just man haters!!!

I asked if that meant male doms hate women???? Strange he vanished with no answer at that point.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 11:56:03 AM

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Joined: 6/14/2008
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Yes, let's dispel the idea that being a pro-domme is incompatible with being a 'real female dominant'. I manage both roles with no problem whatsoever.

I also go out to scene events and play with subs other than my own partner sometimes. Goodness, is there no end to my talents.

(in reply to frazzle)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:06:06 PM

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I really don't care what 'subs' in general think.
Neither do I care what people in general think.
Or what any arbitary individual thinks.
Sure I'm a fake.
I have only one issue with some of the 'subs' on this site
That they haven't a clue what submissive means.
Just because your kinky doesn't mean your submissive or dominant for that matter.
If it's about playing a role for you. Then why don't you say so on your profiles?
Rant over.
AAkasha WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT
Get it now? No didn't think so.

(in reply to frazzle)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:06:17 PM

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Let's not forget that real dominas have a desire to dominate a man instantly, regardless of whether they know anything about him. That's how they know I'm a fake: 'cause I actually have to get to know someone well before I have any interest in dominating him.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:15:19 PM

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Hey, how about this one: Femdoms don't have sex. Definitely not with men. Definitely not with subs.

(in reply to MsValentine)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:18:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

* Pursues men indiscriminately. The only requirement is his availability and willingness to submit.
* Is attracted to a man who has nothing to offer other than his slavery (which is conditional)
* Expects no effort from the man at all

Actually in follow up to my original post, have any femdoms reading here ever dominated a man based on the above criteria? Just because of an urge, a momentary lust, or for fun - have you cherry picked and then dominated a sub you were not attracted to and didn't really know, just for the sheer sport of it, for amusement, or because it satisfied some lust inside of you?

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 6/22/2009 12:32:36 PM >

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:21:40 PM

MzMia

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Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Let's not forget that real dominas have a desire to dominate a man instantly, regardless of whether they know anything about him. That's how they know I'm a fake: 'cause I actually have to get to know someone well before I have any interest in dominating him.

Fake, fraud and a wannabe!
One time I responded to a man, calling me a wannabe with this answer:
I might wannabe ultra-rich, a rockstar, a famous writer, rocket scientist, cure cancer, brain surgeon, or just be someone of note and lasting fame, please man! don't you think I can aspire to wannabe more than a Dominatrix, Mistress, FemDom or Dominant woman? Do you really think I can't figure out/learn how to be a Dominant woman and I am reduced to having to wannabe one?

Can't you come up with other things I would wannabe?
I am also a fake/possibly a man, cause not only don't I cater to these dudes online, I don't send photo's on demand!
Now top that one, missy!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/22/2009 12:58:54 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:23:30 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSavra

Hey, how about this one: Femdoms don't have sex. Definitely not with men. Definitely not with subs.

Eh... maybe Femdoms... but it's also true for some dominant females.

DC

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to MsSavra)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:30:49 PM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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I think my Insta Domina Powder will sell well! But of course my TrollAway Spray will be offered as well, to combat the powder if someone attempts to use it on you.

Isn't fantasy grand??? I wonder if the bank will honor my belief that I am rich?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:41:03 PM

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Joined: 4/14/2009
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femdoms have long nails
femdoms have big boots
femdoms dominate at ethe first meeting..like in a cafe they want you to lick their boots
femdoms who are of color want to whip whites
femdoms want to overpower physically
femdoms shoudl be bigger than their boy
femdoms want young cock
femdoms will spank any ass presnted cause they live for ANY ass
femdoms can't love
femdoms want to force bi activities

and why is there fem dom ?
a DIVISION OF DOM??

fuck the mainstream

AND
femdoms only have sex if on top
femdoms hate men
femdoms were abused by men as kids

any or all can be so for some

but to generalize burns my ass...but what can I do??
put out the flame and get over it

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 6/22/2009 12:44:42 PM >

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:43:29 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I think my Insta Domina Powder will sell well! But of course my TrollAway Spray will be offered as well, to combat the powder if someone attempts to use it on you.

Isn't fantasy grand??? I wonder if the bank will honor my belief that I am rich?

Girlfriend, please!
First thing in the morning, and when you say your prayers at night, you fall down on your knees and say "Help me stop being a wannabe and become a real Dominant woman, that is all I ask! I realize it takes more years of training than an M.D., but one day I will stop being a wannabe and become a real one, like those REAL Dominant women on Collarme!"

ROFLMAO!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/22/2009 12:46:17 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:46:01 PM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:47:03 PM

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Joined: 11/28/2007
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TrollAway Spray? Me first, me first!

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:53:59 PM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Girlfriend, please!
First thing in the morning, and when you say your prayers at night, you fall down on your knees and say "Help me stop being a wannabe and become a real Dominant woman, that is all I ask! I realize it takes more years of training than an M.D., but one day I will stop being a wannabe and become a real one, like those REAL Dominant women on Collarme!"

ROFLMAO!

Don't make me break out my Domina University fable!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Femdoms don't exist. You heard it here. - 6/22/2009 12:56:17 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Original: MzMia

First thing in the morning, and when you say your prayers at night, you fall down on your knees and say "Help me stop being a wannabe and become a real Dominant woman, that is all I ask! I realize it takes more years of training than an M.D., but one day I will stop being a wannabe and become a real one, like those REAL Dominant women on Collarme!"

"I just want to be a REAL FEMDOM!"... I wonder if -that- will attract the Blue Fairy away from that nose-wanker, Pinocchio!

DC

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to MzMia)

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