quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Eww... just EWWWW! Potty-mouth~

(Sorry... couldn't resist)

DC

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

I know this was directed at Nihilus, but if I may, I'd like to toss a few coins in the well.

quote:

But then Nihilus...to throw your own question back at you...who decides whether or not the act's sole or main motivation IS to molest another's public experience? You? Then aren't you doing the same as I or any of the others who've posted about what they prefer to see or not see are doing? Making a judgment call? Seems to be the only difference is in the degree of what I might tolerate or consider offensive vs. what you or anyone else might tolerate or consider offensive.

And this is why it isn't quite so simple. See, I'm not judging someone -else-'s behavior. I'm looking at what I am thinking about doing, and where I'm thinking about doing it, and asking -myself- whether I believe that it is appropriate to do this thing in this place at this time, based on whether I think that my actions might be harmful (and not just on a large scale, but, at least for me, I include things like inconvenience and irritation factors in the mix as well). Then I weigh that against the level of potential benefit, and decide whether the benefits of me doing what I was going to do outweigh any harm that it might do.

I can't make this kind of judgment call for someone else. It is my belief that it is my responsibility to do this for me, if I'm going to be interacting with other people, in particular because I am outre in so many ways, so even my physical appearance may be a bit of an 'assault on the senses' for some folks, so I'm already going into the encounter with maybe a bit of a social disadvantage. If I want to have a productive encounter, I'm going to make an extra effort to ameliorate any negative impact my presence might have, just because I want the encounter to work.

I'm honestly not easily offended -- not by boobs, or porn, or prostitution, or drugs (though I am a little offended by people who are careless or deceitful in the exercise of the responsibilities they've chosen to undertake regarding other peoples' money and property!!!) and I recognize, most of the time, that the general populations' sensitivities are a lot higher than my own... and it seems appropriate to me to consider that when deciding on a course of action for myself.

I guess where 'judgment of others' comes it, it comes in for me because I tend to think that the people who insist that they should have their 'rights', with no consideration of how exercising their "rights" might impact a given situation, are, in a way, putting the exercise of their freedoms ahead of the comfort and freedoms of everyone else that they might encounter in a given situation, and I find that an inappropriate attitude for me... I couldn't do it most of the time. 

I guess, in some ways, I think of myself more like one of the water drips in a cave... it takes a LONG time, but eventually, those little, polite drips that I make combine with the input from everything that the drip touches, and eventually those drips build themselves up into strong stone constructions. There are times when I am more of a firestorm (hence my name), and just raze everything to the ground to start from scratch (and honestly, I'm obviously remembered more for those few occasions where I've just torn through), but my preference, wherever I can do so, is to let self-expression along with good manners do the work for me, even though it often doesn't seem like it's getting results for a long, long time.

Dame Calla

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

I'm into history. Especially the history of icky subjects like how women dealt with menstruation, how people engaged in hygiene & self-care, what kinda underwear people have worn, that sorta thing. Um, the history of intimate behavior, I guess you could say . . . . . lol)

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact


Can somebody please tell Me exactly what in the world is everybody's kick with breastfeeding?  It's done in many places all over the world where no one bats and eye.  Why do people have such a hang up over it?

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ORIGINAL: Plutonic

I was about to say the same thing myself. Although "everybody" of course refers only to Europe and America, which are quite a small proportion of the world in fact.

Why on Earth should any normal person find breast-feeding offensive??? It's a lot less messy than the mess babies make when they're learning to eat solid food and get it all down their faces- mind you I've known some adults who're not much better, especially where spaghetti is involved!

Seriously, what do some people think a woman's breasts are FOR??? They're not just for us guys to gawp at.

As for public displays of BDSM or D/s, I think it's a question of whether people are doing it for the specific purpose of offending other people. Sex ought to be consensual and therefore people ought not to be getting their kicks from offending strangers, because those strangers have not consented to this transaction.

Am I contradicting myself here, given that many people (in America at least apparently, and even here in the UK) find breast-feeding of babies offensive?

No- because as I said before, the female breast exists solely for that purpose, and their is a physiological necessity for babies to be fed. Whereas there is no actual necessity to lead someone down the street handcuffed on a leash.

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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Better question to ask is why someone would be so INSECURE they'd need to thrust their kink/lifestyle on another.  There's a reason why it's called a "personal life", and despite my choices, I'm not interested in seeing someone on a leesh while I'm wolfing down my Whopper at Burger King.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Yes.  As long as you stick to eating in burger king, thats cool.
Personally, if you then walk out of burger king eating such a disgusting item, I am not interested in seeing such a nasty vision.
So stay inside and do not pollute my view with such vileness and life will be fine.

the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Better question to ask is why someone would be so INSECURE they'd need to thrust their kink/lifestyle on another.  There's a reason why it's called a "personal life", and despite my choices, I'm not interested in seeing someone on a leesh while I'm wolfing down my Whopper at Burger King.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Then again, a lot of exhibitionism, a lot not all, is driven by insecurity.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

I know this was directed at Nihilus, but if I may, I'd like to toss a few coins in the well.

quote:

But then Nihilus...to throw your own question back at you...who decides whether or not the act's sole or main motivation IS to molest another's public experience? You? Then aren't you doing the same as I or any of the others who've posted about what they prefer to see or not see are doing? Making a judgment call? Seems to be the only difference is in the degree of what I might tolerate or consider offensive vs. what you or anyone else might tolerate or consider offensive.

And this is why it isn't quite so simple. See, I'm not judging someone -else-'s behavior. I'm looking at what I am thinking about doing, and where I'm thinking about doing it, and asking -myself- whether I believe that it is appropriate to do this thing in this place at this time, based on whether I think that my actions might be harmful (and not just on a large scale, but, at least for me, I include things like inconvenience and irritation factors in the mix as well). Then I weigh that against the level of potential benefit, and decide whether the benefits of me doing what I was going to do outweigh any harm that it might do.

I can't make this kind of judgment call for someone else. It is my belief that it is my responsibility to do this for me, if I'm going to be interacting with other people, in particular because I am outre in so many ways, so even my physical appearance may be a bit of an 'assault on the senses' for some folks, so I'm already going into the encounter with maybe a bit of a social disadvantage. If I want to have a productive encounter, I'm going to make an extra effort to ameliorate any negative impact my presence might have, just because I want the encounter to work.

I'm honestly not easily offended -- not by boobs, or porn, or prostitution, or drugs (though I am a little offended by people who are careless or deceitful in the exercise of the responsibilities they've chosen to undertake regarding other peoples' money and property!!!) and I recognize, most of the time, that the general populations' sensitivities are a lot higher than my own... and it seems appropriate to me to consider that when deciding on a course of action for myself.

I guess where 'judgment of others' comes it, it comes in for me because I tend to think that the people who insist that they should have their 'rights', with no consideration of how exercising their "rights" might impact a given situation, are, in a way, putting the exercise of their freedoms ahead of the comfort and freedoms of everyone else that they might encounter in a given situation, and I find that an inappropriate attitude for me... I couldn't do it most of the time. 

I guess, in some ways, I think of myself more like one of the water drips in a cave... it takes a LONG time, but eventually, those little, polite drips that I make combine with the input from everything that the drip touches, and eventually those drips build themselves up into strong stone constructions. There are times when I am more of a firestorm (hence my name), and just raze everything to the ground to start from scratch (and honestly, I'm obviously remembered more for those few occasions where I've just torn through), but my preference, wherever I can do so, is to let self-expression along with good manners do the work for me, even though it often doesn't seem like it's getting results for a long, long time.

Dame Calla

And...as I've said in a longer post on this thread...I feel much the same way.  Your "right" to swing your arms as hard or as carefree as you want to in public ends at the tip of my nose. 
I don't want the job of setting up standards of behavior for others...I don't want one single person to have it...but I am fine with a diverse group within a community, say the city council, who does set up those standards.  If you want to argue with what they have set up and you have folks who support your stance, then you can take it to the city council and say "my group and I think it is just fine to use halftime at the football game to fuck our partners to show them...and our town...how much we care".  Have the facts to turn aside any of the council's rejections and have them put it to a vote and you may win. 
For me, just as for you, it still comes down to my own self-expression.  What I will do on Folsom Street in California is not what I would do on Main Street in my home town.  What I would do, and expect to see other people doing (and be O.K. with it) is not what I expect to see in my church on Sunday morning.  Do I find it offensive?  Only in the context of time and place.  That is what seems to have been missed on here...my bigger issue is not so much one with morality, it is with the choice of environment to express yourself in and your reasons for doing so...if it is for the sole reason of bringing negative/positive but undue attention on yourself, then I do feel that it is not an expression of your life to the public that matters to you but rather the attention that particular expression brings.

Personal responsibility has been mentioned on here.  Parents need to be responsible for parenting their child.  Yet we hamstring them in taking careful awareness of everyone's rights...but the parents.  Yes, it was my responsibility to raise my child.  It was my right to expect to be able to step out in a public venue such as the park and expect there to be laws in place that would help me do so, since society is sooooo interested in seeing that I do a good job.  Some of those laws are those already mentioned...public sex, not being able to defecate in public, etc..  Social responsibility is another thing and that is where the line gets tricky?  Are you responsible for the way my child grows up?  No...not really.  But do you have a bigger obligation to children as a universal concept?  Society must think we do or everything that we want to do in public would be allowed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened
I understand that a lot of folks honestly believe they have no obligation whatsoever toward their neighbors, that it's up to my neighbor to just "deal with it" no matter if I want to play my music as loud as I want at 3 AM or drop a deuce on my front lawn or the public park?  Do any of us really want to go outside our front doors into a world where everybody does whatever they want, whenever they want, and wherever they want?

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ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Folks, is it just me or does anyone else realize that what we really have going on here is a debate about Sociological Theory and the History of Civilization?