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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/15/2009 2:49:04 PM   
KCalli


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

I so hope this thread stays up. My three yr olds Doctor wants him to be evaluated for ADHD. The level of hyperactivity is something i can handle, but the danger...a threat to himself and/or others is now the issue. He will not...WILL NOT...listen to us if he has a focus/goal, dispite the danger. If his goal is running across a busy parking lot, my voice will not stop him...he has to be physically restrained. The kid moved at the speed of light and will take off with no hint of his plans. He has caught me off guard time and time again (and please guys...if you ever see a kid on a leash..wristband connected to wristband...think of this situation before you criticize? A leash is on my shopping list, as holding his hand is not always possible. I actually fear breaking his hand/wrist. THat is how hard he fights me).

He is very violent with his dad and i. Yesterday was a good example. He pulled all the vidios off the shelf dispite being told over and over he is not to touch them. Ok...so i told him he will not go outside to play until they are put back. He said they are too heavy . Then he announced he did not want to. I told him he did not have to, but he would not go outside. The next thing i know a very heavy antique Maple chair is flying towards me. This is typical. His level of frustration (i do not think it is anger) is so sudden and intense and violent.
The voilence is just here...he is a very passive child at school and his teacher was shocked when i said we are to have an ADHD eval.


Please...any help?

ETA...unless it is absolutely imperative and suggested by a second opinion (and a third) we are adamant that a three year old should not be given Ritalin, Aderrall and/or whatever new ones are out there.



My youngest boy was very similar, and even though I was called many things, including cruel, I many times at that age, did have a harness (back zipper) and leash. Mainly because of the above mentioned dangers involved. I looked at it this way, If this "cruel" leash keeps my boy all in one piece, then they can kiss my rosey red butt. I had many locks in my house, and that was just the hassle of constantly having to chase him. Nothing I didn't want him to "destroy" either intentionally or unintentionally was out. It was locked in some sort of fashion. I know big pain, but saved a lot of hassle. Anyhow, I and his 2 brothers survived, and he is a relatively well adjusted 24 year old. I believe you are right, the violence does come from some manner of frustration. It is very difficult to control. I never truly got a full handle on it, and luckily he started to fade out of that part about the time that I could no longer physically pick him up and remove/restrain him. Some of it I do know would come from just plain overstimulation (good or bad) and he just couldn't shut back down. There are many times I sat with him restrained in my lap, totally against me, in a dark room, rocking rhymically and slowly, sometimes a low hum would help to calm him, not a song, just a certain note. This was all before they really knew that ADHD was around, and I just had to figure out what works. On a lighter note, (and his older brother has ADHD also) the first day of school, we walked in and I looked around and wondered "what the heck is wrong with these kids, they are "comotose"? compared to mine. LOL..little did I know that my little imp was the one with the difficulties.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/15/2009 2:59:34 PM   
KCalli


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Lushy...thats not what i meant. It is good that you got time away from him for your own sanity...but i mean how did you not go insane with the responsibility of the choices you had to make? And this is really a question for anyone...not just the LusciousOne. The choices/decisions made will effect them  for the rest of their lives and it is very frightening to me right now.


The choices I have been forced to make were hard and tough at times (as in having my son actually arrested after being attacked by him) because it was the only way I was able to have him evaluated. While in the rage, he was all over the officer also. He was evaluated and many questions answered. Schizophrenia was part of it. (my youngest at age 16). Up until that time he had been diagnosed and putzed around with by everyone who thought they knew something. Anyhow, as hard as it is, the only way I can deal with it is to accept that I have done the very best I know how to do. Then move on to the next. I couldn't dwell on what might be. All you can do is the best that you can do, and accept it at that.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 3:20:10 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

Some of it I do know would come from just plain overstimulation (good or bad) and he just couldn't shut back down.
YES!! With my little one the over stimulation  occurs the next day...he will be a holy terror (today promises to be a lulu...we had him at a carnival yesterday). And the strange thing...he will not discuss the event for a few days. If i were to ask him today if he had fun at the carnival yesterday i will be met with silence and a blank stare.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 3:30:57 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

There is so much for me to comment on this thread I don't even know where to start. Ok. I have two sons. One was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, the other was diagnosed at a very young age with SID, ro SPD (sensory processeing Disorder). He would refuse to eat anything. The textures of things would make him gag and throw up. Everyone areound me just said....oh he will eat eventally. No he wouldn't. It got to the point that they were going to put a feeding tube in him. Eventaully I was able to get him the help he needed from an OT and from a speech pathologist. But at that time the Drs knew so little about this disorder, it really was me searching and asking and knocking down as many doors as I could. He has other challenges as well as far as sensory things. Hearing, touch, etc.
this is so very familiar to me...just what we went through. And it was so hard to hear people say he will eventually eat. Well hell...sure he will....if you can call a feeding tube and IV nutrition "eating".

I want to ask you...did you have your son with SID tested for hearing issues, and if so, at what age? The LoudOne is three and i know hearing issues, mainly filtering background noise, can be an issue with SID kids but his age and his uncooperative behavior (out of fear and/or lack of comprehension) have me wondering if it is a waste of time. I am more than willing to take him for the test, but if he is too young/restless for it now...the negative memory will make the second time even worse.


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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 5:26:50 AM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Some of it I do know would come from just plain overstimulation (good or bad) and he just couldn't shut back down.
YES!! With my little one the over stimulation  occurs the next day...he will be a holy terror (today promises to be a lulu...we had him at a carnival yesterday). And the strange thing...he will not discuss the event for a few days. If i were to ask him today if he had fun at the carnival yesterday i will be met with silence and a blank stare.


He is processing it.

It takes awhile for all of that inputed stuff to make it's way to the place in his brain that connects to being able to verbalizing it.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 7:58:52 AM   
calamitysandra


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Status: offline 		Holly, hearing tests for a three year old should be no problem. Make sure that the person administering the test is somebody who is good with, and has expirience testing children. 

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 9:36:19 AM   
lilgirl2008


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

There is so much for me to comment on this thread I don't even know where to start. Ok. I have two sons. One was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, the other was diagnosed at a very young age with SID, ro SPD (sensory processeing Disorder). He would refuse to eat anything. The textures of things would make him gag and throw up. Everyone areound me just said....oh he will eat eventally. No he wouldn't. It got to the point that they were going to put a feeding tube in him. Eventaully I was able to get him the help he needed from an OT and from a speech pathologist. But at that time the Drs knew so little about this disorder, it really was me searching and asking and knocking down as many doors as I could. He has other challenges as well as far as sensory things. Hearing, touch, etc.
this is so very familiar to me...just what we went through. And it was so hard to hear people say he will eventually eat. Well hell...sure he will....if you can call a feeding tube and IV nutrition "eating".

I want to ask you...did you have your son with SID tested for hearing issues, and if so, at what age? The LoudOne is three and i know hearing issues, mainly filtering background noise, can be an issue with SID kids but his age and his uncooperative behavior (out of fear and/or lack of comprehension) have me wondering if it is a waste of time. I am more than willing to take him for the test, but if he is too young/restless for it now...the negative memory will make the second time even worse.




\Holly,

We did have his hearlng tested when he was 2. It is an interesting thing to do. The best thing that I found when we did any kind of testing was for me to leave him alone with the people doing the tests. For some reason he was far more cooperative for other people then he was for me. If you are concerned about his hearing at all, it is worth getting it checked out. My son had speech problems as well so that is why we tested his hearing. To make sure he could hear properly His hearing was fine. He just didn't talk. We still don't know why. But now he is 9 and talks up a storm so early intervention is a wonderful thing.

I would say if you are wondering about his hearing get it tested. It cetainly won't hurt!

good luck

lilgirl


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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 12:23:20 PM   
lusciouslips19


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Status: offline 		Holly, Alot of what appears to be lack of hearing is often that autistic tune every thing out for the one thing they are focusing on when it their own world, game head etc. My sons hearing is fine, his listening needs work. I ask him to repeat what I siad to see if he was paying attention to me. I also wanted to mention that when we were going through the process of evaluation through the school system he was in a half a year of diagnostic preschool and  year of diagnostic kindergarten. This means he was observed over a lon period of time. So its actually not a short test but long term observation that shows the complete picture. Of course a peditric neurologist is  good idea just to make sure cat scans and such are normal.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/16/2009 2:39:57 PM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008
My son had speech problems as well so that is why we tested his hearing. To make sure he could hear properly His hearing was fine. He just didn't talk. We still don't know why. But now he is 9 and talks up a storm so early intervention is a wonderful thing.

I would say if you are wondering about his hearing get it tested. It cetainly won't hurt!

good luck

lilgirl


I also started to talk very late and before I started school I had meetings with the speech therapist as I could not say the letter "k" and "g"...my mom still gets on my nerves with telling always once in a while how I kept saying "das dleine druene drododil" instead of "das kleine gruene krokodil". Apart from the fact that some kids can develop late to talk, in my situation I think it was more likely the fact that I had lack of attention and lack of stimulation from my parents to talk and therefore started late. On top of it according to my parents my brother always understood the noises I made instead and told them what I want and what I am saying...But that's just my own personal assumption about it. However, yes, that can often be fixed later as now people prefer when I just....shup...

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 8/16/2009 2:41:27 PM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 1:54:45 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

My son had speech problems as well so that is why we tested his hearing. To make sure he could hear properly His hearing was fine. He just didn't talk. We still don't know why. But now he is 9 and talks up a storm so early intervention is a wonderful thing.
If i might perhaps answer the "why"...

A baby begins to use their tongue in the manner required for proper speech when they begin to eat solid foods, generally at 8-10 months. They use the tongue to push the food around in their mouth, and begin the side to side movement to prevent the food from staying in the side of the mouth, etc.

Side to side tongue movement is essential for proper speech.

Our boys did not eat solids till much later than normal and therefore had limited use of their tongues. What occurred is they spoke anyway and as they knew how...without the use of their tongues, and kept it up, as their speech pattern was set.

And  yes, lilgirl...it seems the LoudOne has speech issues just like your little one.


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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 2:26:08 AM   
sirsholly


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for us!

we do need to put ourselves on the schedule too...


< Message edited by sirsholly -- 8/17/2009 2:27:39 AM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 5:40:26 AM   
SweetNika


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Status: offline 		I just wanted to say that this is a wonderful thread. As a mother of an autistic child and another with learning disabilties it is hard to find support groups. I was amazed that the closest autistic support group to me was / is about an hour away.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 9:27:38 AM   
BeingChewsie


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Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		I can relate to this. If my son has a very overstimulating the day, the next day can be tough for him. I have found giving him space, letting him set the pace works. He is getting older so can be better manage his moods and medication helps.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Some of it I do know would come from just plain overstimulation (good or bad) and he just couldn't shut back down.
YES!! With my little one the over stimulation  occurs the next day...he will be a holy terror (today promises to be a lulu...we had him at a carnival yesterday). And the strange thing...he will not discuss the event for a few days. If i were to ask him today if he had fun at the carnival yesterday i will be met with silence and a blank stare.


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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 9:50:10 AM   
BeingChewsie


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You need a good support system. If you are part of a couple, you both have to be on the same page and as committed as is humanly possible to getting through it. You get a really good therapist and a really good psychiatrist and a really good primary care doctor for the child or children. You get the best advocate you can to help you deal with the school system if you choose to place him in a public school. You do not allow people to dismiss you or your concerns and you learn to be a warrior mom. Somehow you don't go insane but there will be days when you will think you are. If I had a nickel for every time I have said "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle". I'm not an overly religious person but I do remind myself that our son was given to us for a reason. In a nutshell you put the best team in place that you can, you hold together as a couple if you part of one, and you try and guide them and protect them as best you can.




quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Lushy...thats not what i meant. It is good that you got time away from him for your own sanity...but i mean how did you not go insane with the responsibility of the choices you had to make? And this is really a question for anyone...not just the LusciousOne. The choices/decisions made will effect them  for the rest of their lives and it is very frightening to me right now.


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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 1:43:58 PM   
lusciouslips19


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Status: offline 		As far as creative play style preschools were concerned, my son came back all out of sorts. So I switched him to a different community program with teachers and it was very rigimented. This was much better as to not overstimulate and give him some ritual that he could feel safe with as opposed to just running around and playing alot. Thankfully, he has made it to 10 and a 1/2. It does get easier.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 1:44:52 PM   
MagiksSlave


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Status: offline 		Ok, I like this thread. I actually work in this area and have a lot to offer in way of answers however I dont really want to go through all these poste (sorry just got home from work and Im sooo tired) so please send me a PM if you need some advise and Ill give it a go.


MS

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 1:59:14 PM   
palpitatingeyes


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/15/2009
Status: offline 		Wow, my son is the same way.... he just turned 5. We went through "he has adhd" and he was put on medication that only made him vomit, and was told he's autistic. After several tests more than once he's NOT autistic, but maybe still has adhd. An interesting thing I've learned is there's something called sensory integration disorder, and we're going to see an occupational therapist in a week to have him assessed for that. I'm a single mom, have been his entire life, but I have health problems so things are even harder when it comes to getting him to listen because I can't always be chasing after him.
He's been on medication to calm him down at night so he'll at least sleep and that has helped a lot but beyond that I really don't want drugs for him, I jsut want to know what's going on and what I can do. I know exactly how you feel right now.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/17/2009 3:46:16 PM   
MagiksSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: palpitatingeyes

Wow, my son is the same way.... he just turned 5. We went through "he has adhd" and he was put on medication that only made him vomit, and was told he's autistic. After several tests more than once he's NOT autistic, but maybe still has adhd. An interesting thing I've learned is there's something called sensory integration disorder, and we're going to see an occupational therapist in a week to have him assessed for that. I'm a single mom, have been his entire life, but I have health problems so things are even harder when it comes to getting him to listen because I can't always be chasing after him.
He's been on medication to calm him down at night so he'll at least sleep and that has helped a lot but beyond that I really don't want drugs for him, I jsut want to know what's going on and what I can do. I know exactly how you feel right now.




1 in every 250 children is identefied as having autism most of those being boys, so I am not suprised that they went there at all, there is no difinitive test for autism though through scans of the brain they have found that a certain part of the brain grows a lot faster in some children with autism then it does with others, making it too large at too young an age. However, not every child who has autism has this particular aspect.

I wouldnt honestly take him to another doctor. I know no one wants there child to be labeled autistic and a lot of parents fight against such diagnosis but the truth is having the label is better than not having it if there is even a change that the child may have autism becuase so many resourses and government programs open up to you under IDEA when your child labeled to have autism and these servises might be just what you need.

Just my opinion

MS

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/27/2009 5:13:37 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
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Status: offline 		Not much going on here right now. I'm sure that will change once school gets in full swing.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/27/2009 8:10:43 AM   
purepleasure


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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Out of curiosity...

Did or does anyone else's child spin objects or rock and flap?  In particular, those with a diagnosis of autism.

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