StrictHarshB
Posts: 10
Joined: 8/12/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
quote:
ORIGINAL: sirsholly
quote:
Another thing with Munch is that he does not see danger. Officially over here, it is called ‘lack of cause and consequence perception’ and is evidently a very familiar and regular trait of those with several of the Autistic Spectrum disorders. quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I disagree that treating a child with a disease harshly is appropriate. Would you treat a diabetic harshly if they couldn't stabilize their blood sugar? Same here. Get them the right medical help and therapy. Keep encouraging them to succeed while trying different things to help them to succeed. But punishing them for having an illness is not ever acceptable.
i also have an issue with the term "harsh" but feel i understand what StrictHarsh meant. It is so easy to slip into the mindset of "special needs, not responsible for his behavior, etc" and that is the worst thing that we can do.
One thing ALL children need is rules, guidelines and consistency. WIthout it they tend to lash out because believe it or not they want you to care enough to set limits. The autistic child needs even more consistency and explanation of what is expected of them ahead of time and rewards via hugs for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior.
I do not treat Munch, nor was I suggesting treating any child harshly, BECAUSE of their illness or disability, and to answer DesFIP, I would not be strict and cross with a diabetic if they couldn't stabilize their blood sugar, not at all, I would be loving and caring and as helpful as I possibly could be. But once stabilised, if I found the cause of the blood sugar instability or problem to be of that persons own doing, in full or reasonable knowledge of the likely consequence, then that's when I would be cross and as I call it 'harsh'.
Munch is on the medication he needs and he has had lots of different counselling and therapy, including some family therapy which has helped him and the rest of us a lot. He continues to get extra support and help, this will remain the case for at least the next 4 years, possibly more. His mum and I have battled tirelessly hard to explore every avenue and utilise every possible different type and amount of help that we can get for him and those of us closest to him.
I totally agree with and echo every word of what luscious said. All I would add to it is that the consequences need to be much more immediate, acute and unpleasant for an ADHD child than for other children without it. I am saying this from my own experiences, I have 3 kids of my own, only Munch has any problems, and I have lived with other kids, one of whom has a more complex range of learning disabilities.
The 'much more acute and unpleasant' is what I meant when using the word harsh. I think of it as being cruel to be kind and Munch, as he is now, is a good example of it having paid off. If an ADHD child steps out of line now, correct them now, and if necessary punish now, it's no use doing it when you get back to the car or get home, if it happens now, deal with it now - very firmly, then for most things, just move on and forget about it. I don't care if it's in the middle of the store or in a crowded street, I don't care what anyone else thinks, I'll do what I know is best for my child because I love my child so much I want to do and be the best for him that I possibly ever can be and stuff what anyone else thinks.
Two other things that I've also read somewhere in these posts that will help tremendously.....
1 - Routine - changes are very difficult, especially for younger ADHD children.
2 - Advance notice - discuss and talk to your child about everything that they are going to be doing, especially important for any changes to their routine. An example - if Munch's teacher was off sick his school had big problems with him that day, but, if he and we knew a day or two beforehand that his teacher was going to be away for a course or something, he wouldn't be as good as most days, but nothing like as bad as if he didn't know beforehand. A couple of tricks that helped with the school was - if his regular teacher was off, have the same regular stand in teacher, or, for an odd day or two, maybe allow him to go to another class with a teacher he knew and liked / got on well with. During his 1 hour lunch break, after he had his food, let him help the dinner hall staff to clear away - give him worth, let him feel he is being useful / helpful, most ADHD kids love that.
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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 
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So do any of you other parents just have those days when from the get-go that your young'un is just in a "mood" and it's going to be one of "THOSE" days? 
But Lushy, Mr. Smarties WAKES up with those eyes, even after a full night's sleep. It's hard to tell him he needs a nap right after he's woken up. 
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