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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/25/2009 11:57:27 AM

kiwisub12

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It is amazing to me that a um who couldn't sit still long enough to do math problems would sit for hours reading, or drawing. My guys had splendid powers of concentration for the things that interested them.

my um that dropped out of high school used to go to all of her classes - and not participate.In biology she would sit in the back of the classroom, be quiet and not participate, nor would she do homework. Needless to say, she failed the class - but the little wretch took a national test designed to place the kids on a national level in regards to the corriculum. She scored higher than the rest of the kids in the class!!!! She was learning, but she had no interest in participating in the processl. I could have rung her neck when she told me this.

The school wanted to keep her in school, stop her from dropping out, but they also wanted her to conform to their rules , timelines and structure - and she just couldn't/wouldn't do this. She is one of the kids who would have benefited from a home school environment in a school situation - learning at her own rate, and then being able to take a test to prove competency. Heck, it might not even have worked, but she did say that classes were a huge waste of time - that the teachers taught to the slowest kid in the class, and everyone else sat around and waited , and waited.

Of all the things that i did and didn't do for my kids, the schooling was the biggest guilt think. Neither had a great experience - or even a good experience in school - public or private. It just seems there should be a better way to educate bright kids who can't do classrooms, without having to homeschool.

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Post #: 121

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/25/2009 12:04:16 PM

DesFIP

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Kiwi, being able to concentrate solely on things that capture your interest is almost a textbook definition of ADHD.
And I don't know how many kids I know of who can test well but won't do the homework.

I used to check my oldest's backpack, and then drive her back to school and accompany her to the office to put the homework she hadn't handed in, into the teacher's mailbox.

The Man's youngest, also ADD, doesn't have it ready to hand in when he enters the class and will not go up afterwards because nobody else does. Having finally learned this, he's going to talk to the office personnel if his son can simply give it to the secretary and she puts all of it into the right mailboxes. Or the resource room teacher. It's even more aggravating when they do it but won't hand it in.

I did homeschool seventh grade but I can't do high school.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/25/2009 12:14:25 PM

KneelforAnne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

It just seems there should be a better way to educate bright kids who can't do classrooms, without having to homeschool.

My suggestion is to see what type of charter schools are in your area. Some are quite specific in the type of students they cater to.

Check them out, see what their "grade" is... talk to the faculty, staff, and talk to some parents.

Some charters are a complete waste of time... others are so innovative that there is no way public schools can keep up.

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Post #: 123

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/25/2009 12:44:12 PM

kiwisub12

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Unfotunately, when she was school age, there were no charter schools in the state. Now, i think she might have done well in one. Pity

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Post #: 124

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/25/2009 12:47:35 PM

kiwisub12

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Hehe - i hear you on the "homework done, not turned in" thing. I would find backpacks full of homework!

I had one um that forged my signature to the little book that assures the teacher that i know about homework - we all had a big shock at the next parent/teacher conference. Of course, my observation was that the signature looked as if it was done by a 7th grader - which it was!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 6:22:38 AM

slavekal

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I honestly don't know how you folks do it. Such challenges. That's one of the biggest reasons I never had kids. I can barely handle just me!

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Post #: 126

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 7:17:01 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

I honestly don't know how you folks do it. Such challenges.

I can answer for no one but myself, Kal. There is nothing special about me. The challenges presented are dealt with one day at a time, and if it get too overwhelming, i break it down to one hour or one minute at a time.

Having others to turn to, knowing others who have walked this path is a comfort that has no measure. These moms and family members are taking the time to share their experiences.

The military has a term...Pointmen. What a Pointman does is take the lead. He walks and makes sure the path is safe for others. They then follow his footprints knowing he made it, and they will too.

The responders on this thread are my Pointmen and i thank heaven for them.

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Post #: 127

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 7:24:16 AM

lusciouslips19

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As a mom of a brilliant child with Asbergers Syndrome, I am very excited about a new movie coming out. It was featured at the Sundance film festival this year. "Adam" is about a young man in his twenties who falls in love. But he doesnt do things like a normal person socially as he doesnt have a clue. But still he makes a connection. My son and I look forward to going. It opens the beginning of august.

A great book on Asbergers is called "Freaks, Geeks and Asbergers Syndrome, An Adolecent's guide" by Luke Jackson.
It was written by a 13 year old with Asbergers. See. I told you they were brilliant!

Thanks Slavekal. But we are just moms and dads, who love our kids. a simple as that.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 7/26/2009 7:47:11 AM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 8:31:12 AM

Arpig

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quote:

Please...any help?

I haven't read the whole thread yet, so this may be a repetition, but here goes....Why not try one of the specialised ADHD diets, a quick google of ADHD iet will give a lot of results, check those out

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Post #: 129

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 8:34:56 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Please...any help?
I haven't read the whole thread yet, so this may be a repetition, but here goes....Why not try one of the specialised ADHD diets, a quick google of ADHD iet will give a lot of results, check those out

i was told by our pediatrician that diet is of no importance. But thanks to this thread it is clearly evident it is very important. It is also a s-l-o-w process.".today i will eliminate this food and see what happens over a three day period..."

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Post #: 130

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 8:46:44 AM

Arpig

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quote:

i was told by our pediatrician that diet is of no importance. But thanks to this thread it is clearly evident it is very important. It is also a s-l-o-w process.".today i will eliminate this food and see what happens over a three day period..."

Another approach would be to keep a list of everything he eats and also record his outbursts. And trying one of the preplanned ADHD diets may yeild results faster. I do know that diet has a profound effect on patients with autistic spectrum disorders (gluten and casien are the culprits). The difference in my PDD/NoS son when he eats something contaminated is fast (usually the next day, but sometimes sooner) and pronounced (melt downs over nearly everything that doesn't go his way, etc.).
As far as dealing with the meltdowns (his are not violent, he just can't stop crying, and the more he cries the more worked up he gets and the more he cries until he eventually will get physically ill and throw up, which of course upsets him more, and he cries more...a viscious cycle that if left alone will NOT end) what I do is to first of all to ignore the issue of right and wrong for the moment, I simply do not deal with it, I tell him (sometimes I have to be quite firm) to take deep breaths, and I hug him tightly, not a loving hug, but I wrap him tightly in my arms, all the time repeating "deep breaths". This gets him calmed down enough to be able to talk him through whatever it was that set him off.
The thing that breaks my heart is how upset and sorry he is after a meltdown, he appologises for it like he had done something wrong.

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Post #: 131

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 8:47:49 AM

DesFIP

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It didn't make a damn bit of difference with my oldest when she was very young and only had ADHD. Except to keep a diet as free of Red Dye 40 as possible. Unfortunately the pink liquid amoxycillin she needed for ear infections has that in it. Otherwise I would read labels on strawberry yogurt to find one that didn't have it. But as she grew older and bigger, the same amount that caused trouble when she was young no longer bothered her when she was twice the weight.
First grade we had 16 snowstorms, and she had an ear infection during 14 of them. I got good at driving in snow.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 9:58:28 AM

Lockit

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I saw a movie about two autistic boys, I think it was on the lifetime channel. I didn't catch the name of it, but it was a true story about a single mother with two son's with autism who led very interesting lives and who became very successful. It was an inspiring movie to say the least. One was into music and the other was into sports and they both wanted to be educated in a regular school setting. I wish I could remember the name of the movie because it really spoke to me even though I didn't have autistic children. If you can find it and see it, it is worth the find. It covered so many aspects of everything that I felt it presented quite a bit. Of course I don't know much about it all, but it seemed to cover many things to me.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 10:44:30 AM

purepleasure

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The movie is called Miracle Run.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 10:44:44 AM

lusciouslips19

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http://pddedresources.wetpaint.com/page/Asperger's+Comedian

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 10:47:54 AM

Lockit

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Oh thank you so much Pure!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 10:56:45 AM

purepleasure

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You're welcome, Lockit

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 12:40:24 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I honestly don't know how you folks do it. Such challenges. That's one of the biggest reasons I never had kids. I can barely handle just me!

Speaking for myself- there isn't or wasn't anything special about me - i ended up reacting to most of what was going on in me and my ums lives. I had the choice of ignoring what was going on, and trying to help the life that i delivered improve. Some people ignore the situation (i know of one whose reaction is just that - her kids are bright and undisciplined and no-one in the family can stand them) - or you try to get a handle on the problem and improve it - one day at a time!
I often think that people are mistaken in calling people who rescue others in violent or dangerous situations, brave. They are just the ones who are foolhardy enough, or compassionate enough to put themselves in harms way voluntarily. Thats sort of how i see the people who take care and fight for their kids who have disabilities. We aren't brave - we are just silly enough to see that there may be something we can do for our ums. We take one day at a time - and eventually, we find ourselves out the other end, with hopefully a um that can function at some level in society.
And admititly, ADD compared to some problems is fairly low key - but i can safely say, i was devistated when i heard my kids diagnosis. I couldn't figure out how two such intelligent people who did so well at school, could have a couple of kids with a learning disability. It was just my luck to pick the mate with defective genes (

) - actually, once my kids diagnosis was made - the whole of his family pretty much came out and said they had the same symptoms, and depressive symptoms as well, so now one um takes antidepressents, and the other takes antianxiety meds, and really wants xanax for panic attacks.

I should have done a background check and genetic studies before reproducing!

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Post #: 138

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 1:28:11 PM

lusciouslips19

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Oh P'shaw Kiwi. Like you're defect free???

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Post #: 139

RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 3:26:43 PM

badlilthang

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

The thing that breaks my heart is how upset and sorry he is after a meltdown, he appologises for it like he had done something wrong.

*hugs* You first...and writes next: My son also asks me now and then if i am sad that i got a kid withADHD....and i keep telling him that he is exactly the kid i wanted...smiles...and i am not fibbing, either..he is priceless....

Food - Above quote from Arpig - This is one of the reactions that shows how all the dye/hormones/fake stuff and such they put in the food can effect kids..i do believe we will see more and more of it as new generations grow up. My son can not handle artificial candy - gummibears and such - but is fine with for instance ordinary chocolate with real sugar and cocoa. How we found out? Ugh..the hard way - he got one of those little bags with mixed candy in it to enjoy a saturday in front of the TV...48 hours later he was still jumping up and down on the sofa - in and out of doors, up and down stairs...and finally standing in front of me crying - turn me off....turn me off...Needless to say we never bought that again, and still rarely have tv-dinners or premade food...we make food from scratch...The things we learn! :-)

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