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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 5:49:33 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Oh P'shaw Kiwi. Like you're defect free???

I'll have you know Miss Lippy - I am perfect!!!!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/26/2009 6:16:22 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Oh P'shaw Kiwi. Like you're defect free???

I'll have you know Miss Lippy - I am perfect!!!!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/27/2009 8:15:25 PM

KneelforAnne

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I've been thinking about this thread, and you all a lot the last few days as I start gearing up for school.

I remembered watching a news special (dateline? 20/20?) in a class about a family with either 2 or 4 sons that were severely autistic. I think they lived in Cleveland, but I'm not sure? I know this is supremely unhelpful because I don't know any REAL details (SORRY!!) but the main point I want to make is that there was a clinic there that specialized in autism and how to draw the childen out. It was hideously expensive, and at times the kids were acting like they were being tortured (they really were not)... but it helped the kids. If I reacall correctly, it helped them a lot.

Now, I know that odds are you will not be able to get your kid into this program, but maybe there are things you can do at home to help?

AND

With autism/asperger's on the rise... are there local resources to help you? Even a parents group to sit around and vent with? If there isn't... shouldn't there be one?

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/27/2009 8:23:12 PM

lusciouslips19

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I dont know so many kids with Aspergers. At least not at my sons school. But thats why I created this thread. When I needed to vent cause he was just frustrating me that day! But there are resourses to tap into.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/28/2009 10:20:27 AM

Lockit

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My son has come such a long way! I am a proud mama today! We went to the store last night as he is on his night shift again and has been stuck there for a couple months. Some times he is not sleeping at all. So we are standing by the atm waiting for a lady to be done when two guys and a cart plow right into me. The cart was so full they couldn't see. Rather than pull the cart from the front, they just blindly pushed it right into me. It hit where I had my surgery and hurt... as I turned around a box was falling at me and I stopped it and it was really heavy. I thought I was okay until a few minutes later and the idiots were gone.

So by the time we get home I am in bad shape. Fully expecting a hospital run, I try not to because I can't afford one. My son remembered I was hit. I asked him to help and put things in the fridge. He did, no protest like normal when I try to get him to do anything. I think he just feels he can't do things sometimes and it isn't that he doesn't want to. He has a hard time doing things and can't figure out that you need to move something to put something else in or that you have to put one thing down to do whatever and then pick up the other thing. So he did it. I fixed something in the microwave for him but I had to go lay down. I told him he had to take the wrap off the thing and then push the button 3 and he did it!

He knew I was hurt and helped and that means great things! On some level he understood and had compassion enough to help. The pain was so great that I think I passed out and I have no idea what he did all night, but he is sleeping in his bed and all looks right. I feel like a mac truck hit me and hope he isn't too tired today like he is when we go out because I think I am going to need his help again today.

But he did it! wooohoooo!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 7/28/2009 11:10:39 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
He will not...WILL NOT...listen to us if he has a focus/goal, dispite the danger.

Yesterday was a good example. He pulled all the vidios off the shelf dispite being told over and over he is not to touch them.

lol...reading that example, this reminds me when I was told about 2 years ago "because of you we have those locks in the cupboards..." as according to my parents I kept emptying out the cupboard despite being told not to and just did not listen...so at some point they had enough and locked their cupboards (playtime was over

)

regarding

quote:

DesFIP
being able to concentrate solely on things that capture your interest is almost a textbook definition of ADHD.
And I don't know how many kids I know of who can test well but won't do the homework.

gosh don't say that...(goes and checks in to be checked if I am an unknown ADHD)

My mum used to say "if you would spend as much time on school as you do on this and that, then you would be a 1star pupil..." though, still got through ok-ish anyway... (but also got it told often from many different sources not just my parents.)

Now I am working since 10 years with kids and adults with different needs...and it never made me think like that until now...thank you very much

and "despite the danger" as holly said...thank goodness she does not know my mum, seems they would have a good talk when they would compare, considering how awful I seem to have been (though I think it had to do with their lack of parenting skill instead of myself...(and I guess being hit by a car twice, almost run over by a bin-collecting-van and driving with a bike through a window as well as some other broken bones...could be some examples which could be classified as danger...whereas I tend to say "I wanted to become a stuntwoman and started to exercise for it early"

)

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 7/28/2009 11:36:03 AM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 3:06:56 AM

lusciouslips19

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My son reads so many books I cant keep up and yet he still doesnt notice when he puts his clothes on backwards. I never laughed so hard then when he had a shirt with a collar and didnt even notice how crazy he looked.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 8/1/2009 3:07:42 AM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 4:02:41 AM

purepleasure

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Lockit, isn't it amazing that when you need them to "come through" the most, it just happens?

I keep ice packs in the freezer for my knees (I have arthritis, and the ice helps better than heat at times), anyways, I was feeling not very well and was laying down, when my brother came in my room, carrying an ice pack... this from a person that wants NOTHING to do with anything cold... and says "Sissy?" and held the ice pack out to me. It took me a moment to try to figure out what he wanted, and why in the world would he have taken an ice pack from the freezer. I think he thought I was laying down because of my knees, and wanted to help me to feel better. So, I put the ice pack on my knee, and he started giggling and skipped back to his bedroom.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 4:04:46 AM

sirsholly

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aww Peaches...how sweet is that??!!!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 4:05:01 AM

purepleasure

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Lushy... you just have to love those moments! LOL

Do you take your son to the library?

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 4:27:04 AM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

I work with teens and adults with disabilities. My specialty is transitioning youth (18-21yr olds), especiallty those with developmental disabilities. .....

Hereyes- I see you are one of the many angels in our part of the country. Thank you (and all those like you) who make raising children like this a less-isolated experience. I had no way of knowing when we moved here that we'd arrived in a resource-rich environment piloted by people just like you :)

My MIMR offspring has been in special needs programs since age three. (spatial difficulties, expressive/receptive incompatibilities, and skills too scattered to measure.) Over two decades and several thousand IEP/BMPs later, I see a nurturing, sweet-natured human who has blossomed as a result of special schools and inclusion programs. You'd never suspect that many things between those two points in time looked very much like a Roomba vacuum in action.

Clearly I am not the only "overly detail-oriented" care provider in this bunch. Micro-micromanagement makes us appear to outsiders as though WE are OCD but we are, in reality, smoothing the way. (I agree with Holly - I wish God didn't trust me so much.) If it weren't for respite care, my hair would have fallen out from stress. I learned early on that a heavily-noted calendar hanging on the wall helps frame expectation (on the um's part) and lessens the need (on my part) for crisis management.

Care providers sometimes have to learn the hard way about carving out time to recharge their batteries. I did very well for many years as Superwoman - I had it dialed in. Right up until the day I found myself sobbing in the ER -unable to get thru a sentence without crying, paralyzed by anything that required a decision. Caretaker stress, they said. Ugly place - took a year, some meds and a nice lady with a mental health degree and a gentle voice to put me back together.

There have been a lot of days when I suspect some deity is punishing me for something I did in a past life. Then again, maybe it is bigger than me. Maybe I have it backwards. Maybe I am here to be the advocate for someone who was going to arrive with a different package of skills and needed a steam roller on their side to make sure they didnt get lost in the crowd. Maybe I just complete the circuit between the person in need and people like Hereyes. :)

< Message edited by MsFlutter -- 8/1/2009 4:49:18 AM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 7:09:48 AM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

Lushy... you just have to love those moments! LOL

Do you take your son to the library?

He requested I take him back and I already took him last friday and we picked up three books and he still had books from a previous visit. He said he finished all of them. I have barely started mine!

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 8/1/2009 7:23:14 AM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 9:50:46 AM

sirsholly

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Guys...i am wondering what the hell happened here this morning.

The LO woke up at his normal 5am. An uneventful night, and nothing unusual yesterday. He came out to watch TV, played, and went freakin' nuts! He was literally bouncing off of the walls. As soon as i would remove him from one situation he would immediately move on to the next one (ie stop him from pulling all the clothes out of a drawer. So he would run from the room and pound on the computer keyboard, then to the kitchen to toss the silverware out of the drawer). This was ongoing all mornimg. I put him in timeout (Sit there!!!) and he would maintain eye contact with me as he slowly stood and moved off his time out chair. I tried not having eye contact and the same thing happened. I tried distracting him with his favorite toys and had a tractor bounced off of my head. A warm bath did nothing.
Finally i put him in his highchair and just let him sit there so i could pull myself together. Hubby came home from a nightshift about 11am and we both tried talking to the kid.
Jim, ever the patient one, explained calmly that this behavior will not be tolorated, yada yada...then end it with "Do you understand?" and the kids answer would be totally off the freakin wall! He would answer his dad by asking when they could go fishing, or ask what was for lunch, or....you get the idea.

We were not getting through to him. Finally i lost it. I pulled the highchair close to me and bellowed "Here is how it is..." I went on for a bit ("You WILL stop this crap!!") and when i was done he started to cry for the first time today.

Then it was over. He is again my pleasent little boy.

What happened???

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 10:13:11 AM

Caissa

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I have a question for those of you whose children have Asperger's Syndrome. Do you find that they tend not to complain when they should?

The main reason I ask is that about a week and a half ago, my son went bowling with his summer latchkey group. While he was there, his thumb got smashed between two bowling balls. That was on a wednesday...he acted fine, insisting that it was okay, and it didn't bother him. In fact, the next day, they went bowling again and he bowled a 118. When we finally decided to take him to the ER because it looked like his thumbnail was getting infected, they did an x-ray and found that he'd broken the tip of his thumb. Everyone kept looking at us as if we were horrible people to not have noticed that he'd broken it...but he even told the nurses himself "nope, it doesn't hurt...are we done now, I want my root beer back." The only time in the entire process that he did actually complain was when we had to take him back to have the nail drained.

Anyhow, I was just wondering if this was common, or if this was one of his own quirks.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 10:50:27 AM

purepleasure

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holly, you set the boundary for him and truly enforced it.

congratulations.... you are on your way to getting him to be more in control of his behavior. Sometimes, if Mommy yells loud enough, what she says actually sinks in.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 10:54:59 AM

purepleasure

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Caissa, sometimes our kids don't process pain the same way we do. For instance, my brother has had HUGE splinters in his feet, and it was only because he limped slightly that I even checked the bottom of his feet. The splinter was the length and diameter of a toothpick. He never complained at all about it. When I was removing it, I thought I was going to hurl, because the wood just kept coming and coming out of the wound.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 10:56:57 AM

DomMeinCT

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We sometimes have days like this - he's "off" from the crack of dawn and it takes something sharp/loud/sudden/firm to finally get his attention and compliance.

Good for you - it might not be something you're thrilled to do/use all the time, but it was effective.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 11:23:34 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Oh P'shaw Kiwi. Like you're defect free???

I'll have you know Miss Lippy - I am perfect!!!!

/Schedules inspection of kiwi to verify/

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 11:47:41 AM

pixidustpet

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Holly, you did what you needed to do.

the LO obviously got his button stuck at "whirlwind speed" and was having a bad time not being able to turn it off. your being loud back at him obviously was the trigger he needed to get himself out of that mode and back to the sweetie he can be when his brain wont settle enough to let him be his own lovable self.

even "normal"children get like this occasionally, stuck in the whirlwind speed mode. i'm glad for both your sakes that it was only a morning...

*hugs*
kitten

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/1/2009 11:50:54 AM

Caissa

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Thanks. I don't feel so bad that we all assumed for so long that "well, duh, he smacked his thumb a good one, of course it's black and blue".

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