CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: barelynangel Dame Calla -- i guess this is what i am not getting from people as many think there is UNHAPPINESS, MISERY or CAPTIVITY OR now i even saw FEAR in what some are speaking about with regard to TPE. I honestly am at a loss where they come up with this idea lol. angel *nods* I hear you. Just for the record, the individuals we've had in our household who have yielded up comprehensive authority to House Bladewing Keepers have done so out of a sense of desire, joy, peace, and have indicated, across the board, that they enjoyed personal growth from the process--and so did I and the other Keepers. It has been a -blast-, and that's the -only- reason to stay with it... when it brings joy and fulfillment to the household. Bitter, angry, scared, miserable people do -not- make for a happy or functional household -- why would any Keeper want to hang on to someone who was clearly desperate to be -out- of the life that xhe was living? I won't say that fear has no place in a dynamic. Certainly, as a needle, blood, cutting and fire-play aficionado, and as an Irish/Sicilian woman with a slow-to-blow-but -very- impressive-once-you've-set-me-off temper, I would never say that nobody in our household has ever been afraid of me, and honestly, I've been told by some that that thrill of fear that I can incite can be pretty -enticing- on the rare occasions that I drag it out -- but honestly, if they're so afraid that they can't stand being around me, I would certainly find them a therapist to help them through the unintended trauma and send them on their way. This is why I've emphasized, through this whole discussion, that comprehensive-authority dynamics (or TPE, if you prefer) are situational-- they exist as long as the dynamic functions, and when it no longer functions, whether or not we desire to -force- the issue, it ends. Even Leonidas, whose manner of conditioning a servant's (slave's) acknowledgment of her need to be -in- the relationship extends beyond where I would be willing to go, makes it clear that this is -not- about forcing someone who clearly doesn't want to be there... who leaves and does -not- come back... to be in the relationship. Instead, it is about helping a woman who may not -realize- just how much she craves being completely owned to realize, of her own accord, that being in this relationship is exactly where she wants to be -- to the point where she realizes, of her own accord, that leaving is no longer an option she would even allow to bubble to the top of her mind. I agree with DesFTP's earlier comment that she thinks that the use of the acronym TPE, and the discussion of 'total' sets off a visceral reaction -- and I suspect that, for some people, no matter how reasonable the reality is, they will never get past the fear in their own -minds- of something that is clearly such a powerful example of surrender. These kinds of dynamics aren't for everyone, it's true. In fact, out of the 30-some servants we've had through the house, only ~10%, give or take, ended up going in that direction, and even -they- didn't stay in that space for years on end, without reprieve. Life happens, and nothing is permanent. We've been fortunate that we put a 'step-down' process in effect -long- before I came into the House, so those who found that they wanted to be part of what we were, but who weren't ok with yielding comprehensive authority any longer weren't cut off from the family just on that account... and we've always had a path in place for those who discover that their time in yielding was really a road to leadership, whether they knew it when they started (as I did) or not. But the whole thing is, any relationship that is going to be healthy and is going to make for a functional household has to come from a place where, most of the time, the people involved are fulfilled, and no matter -what- your relationship is, that is the bottom line, whether you have a label for it, or just freestyle. Being commanding and authoritative does -not- mean trapping someone in a life they hate. Compelling is not denial of will. Leading is not blindfolding and dragging. Keeping (Owning) is not destroying, crushing, and breaking... and abject, utter servitude may be the most beautiful, graceful, and vibrant thing I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying in my life -- why would I -ever- desecrate such beauty by attempting to hold someone there who didn't want to be there. Dame Calla
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/29/2009 4:30:12 PM >
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*** Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!" "Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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