RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:44:43 PM

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Hey, Aakasha, I sent Julie 237 cmails and she hasn't yet responded to any of them. Do you have any idea why?

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:57:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hey, Aakasha, I sent Julie 237 cmails and she hasn't yet responded to any of them. Do you have any idea why?

Wow, talk about free time on your hand.....

Ok, I came back to correct that typo, but I guess he has to keep one hand free for something else.......

< Message edited by windchymes -- 7/25/2009 1:58:44 PM >

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:01:18 PM

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I do not feel that I must be responsible for responding to every email that comes My way--one liners, crude, stupid, out of profile, I would not react to them if they approached Me in the grocery store, I sure as hell won't do it here.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:04:02 PM

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quote:

My way--one liners, ........., I would not react to them if they approached Me in the grocery store

so if we meet on the way to a grocery store and I say good morning...you don't say anyhting in return?
I use that same reason to respond even to a simple hello....

...every one has its own reasons of course

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:12:46 PM

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I can understand the plight of your friend. I hate to be impolite, but have learned to toughen up some. For a while there I was on three dating sites: CM, a vanilla sex site, and a vanilla dating site. And I decided to conduct a little experiment. When I determined it wasn't going to work, I wrote a polite, "I don't think we're a match, but good luck." On the vanilla dating and sex sites, a bit more than half the guys wrote back to say that they appreciated the response and understood. Very few debated the point or got defensive. On CM ... the majority of guys wrote back. Some were nice about it, but the majority either tried to counter or insult me.

This morning I had two identical emails from the same guy, one minute apart, from a Dom out of my geographical and age range. The whole message consisted of, "love the smile your gorgeous." Four minutes later, this gem: "and you never even replied to me. now that will spoil my weekend. however i hope you have a nice weekend." My first instinct was that I was rude and I should apologize. But I thought about it and decided not to answer.

Subs tend to be giving, so niceness comes naturally. It took a while to realize that if someone didn't put any effort into their c-mail, I owe them nothing. If a guy responds outside of my stated criteria I will generally let it go. If it's just a friendly conversation or if it's obvious he read my profile or journal, then the odds that I'll respond increase greatly.

I'm sympathetic to the plight of guys ... and get an earful from my he-friends about how rude women can be. But then again, I know that they put some effort into their cmails.

(in reply to cromaH)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:15:16 PM

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I have tried to respond to every email I got, but in the end, I found myself hopelessly bogged down like your friend did. In the end, I realized that for my own sanity, I was going to have to learn to pace myself and get to the point where certain "guidelines" for what merited a response were going to have to be put into place.

The first thing I did was set up mail filters. If she doesn't want to hear from certain groups, like couples, put up a mail filter that blocks couples. The same can be done for subs, doms, and dommes. There are also filters for out of state and out of country, and even age limits.

The next thing I did was set up a custom response, and made it a polite "thanks, but no thanks" sort of message. Now, when I open a message and it's obvious I'm not interested, I hit that handy little button and save myself a lot of time typing one out.

The last thing I did was post in my profile itself a few criteria for what I was NOT looking for, and stated quite simply that if you fit one of those things and emailed me, you probably would not get a reply, and not to take it personal.

A lot of us have lives outside of checking email on this site, and don't have the time to respond to one-liners or people who don't take the time read our profiles.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:20:21 PM

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I agree. The person who writes to you via email, at the very least deserves some sort of response even if it is just a mere acknowledgment and a polite answer be it positive or negative. Courtesy. Common courtesy.

TTD

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:20:54 PM

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The "better way" is for your friend to use a bit of nouse and treat the individual emails with the same sincerity with which she feels they're offered.

She should set out a few basic boundaries in her profile (such as only interested in local people) and from there she has a clean conscience in totally ignoring anyone who clearly hasn't bothered to read her profile. Same with anything that reads like a c/paste form letter....

While it may be rude to not respond to all mail, it's stupid and impractical to keep doing it given the amount of email females receive. I'd never allow my girl to become slave to her keyboard because of email meltdown. I think your friend should at least try to open all mail, esp if she's actively seeking, as it usually only takes a line or two to figure out what's sincere from what's crap.

And she doesn't owe anyone even a "no thanx" for crap - treat them as they treat her. And block the crap so they can't keep coming back.

Focus.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:26:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilKittenSub

The first thing I did was set up mail filters. If she doesn't want to hear from certain groups, like couples, put up a mail filter that blocks couples. The same can be done for subs, doms, and dommes. There are also filters for out of state and out of country, and even age limits.

I'd hate to do this. Sometimes people are just making conversation, particularly in response to a journal. Or I've compared notes with local subs. In fact, a few months ago I became friends with a cross-dressing submissive male. I'm a submissive woman looking for a male Dom ... that wasn't him. But he amused me, so I write back and we're buds now. When he says he wants to get in my pants ... I mean that he literally wants to get in my panties.

I actually like to hear from subs because I figure they are just out for some friendly chat. That said, there was an email that I got recently from a sub who said she was looking for a humiliation partner for her Master. I declined ... said it wasn't my thing ... but she was very persistent. Made me believe that she was actually a he. This sort of thing happens, but not as often as you might think.

(in reply to LilKittenSub)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:26:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TickledToDeath

I agree. The person who writes to you via email, at the very least deserves some sort of response even if it is just a mere acknowledgment and a polite answer be it positive or negative. Courtesy. Common courtesy.

TTD

Well, no. As was pointed out earlier, I believe, do you reply to every piece of junk mail that lands in your post box?

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:27:17 PM

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The difference between responding mails and the greetings in a grocery store is the quantity: Fifty people don't say "good morning" when you are in a store, but you have fifty unread mails waiting for response in your inbox (well, the quantity of them in stores increases if you are a celebrity and then this gives a reason for not being able to respond all those greetings in the grocery store). (I don't even find having not responded "Good morning" in the store rude, but it's a different topic)

I don't find it rude if a female doesn't respond my mail, she has got the all rights for not approve of me (it is way much better than being responded and insulted without deserving it). If the guy perceives being unresponded as an insult then it's his problem. Especially in the cases when he doesn't deserve a good response, by revealing he hasn't read your profile or being rude himself.

(in reply to TurboJugend)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:28:29 PM

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true but then it wouldn't be a good example ;)

I do say at work good morning to 150 people...daily.....because they greet me too.
Well they are no strangers ofcourse..that is different....bad example..lol...
although...most don't do it...and aks me why I do it...simply because it is polite

< Message edited by TurboJugend -- 7/25/2009 2:30:38 PM >

(in reply to SirLost)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:35:35 PM

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From: New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: TickledToDeath

I agree. The person who writes to you via email, at the very least deserves some sort of response even if it is just a mere acknowledgment and a polite answer be it positive or negative. Courtesy. Common courtesy.

TTD

Well, no. As was pointed out earlier, I believe, do you reply to every piece of junk mail that lands in your post box?

Junk mail? No. Spam and junk is different. However I do indeed respond to every legit email from a real person one way or another. Spam and junk is a different story.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:36:15 PM

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Once again... tell your friend to use the "Mail Controls" to filter those that are out of state, out of her age range, whether they are Dom, Domme, sub, switch or whatever; and also state in her profile that she's done this so those emailing her that are not what she's stated she's seeking should not expect a reply, as she'll never see their email.

The other option is to go invisible (i.e., hide her profile) and simply seek out and communicate with the ones she's interested in.

This ain't rocket science for those that are serious about finding someone, and not just online to get their jollies. All the other stuff (i.e., friend lists and the like) can wait. For many, it's bullshit anyway... they're your "friend" till you couple with another, and then they disappear because they were never REALLY interested in being "just friends" to begin with; were just waiting to slip in through the side door.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:43:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TickledToDeath

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: TickledToDeath

I agree. The person who writes to you via email, at the very least deserves some sort of response even if it is just a mere acknowledgment and a polite answer be it positive or negative. Courtesy. Common courtesy.

TTD

Well, no. As was pointed out earlier, I believe, do you reply to every piece of junk mail that lands in your post box?

Junk mail? No. Spam and junk is different. However I do indeed respond to every legit email from a real person one way or another. Spam and junk is a different story.

junk mail - unsolicited mail.

email from random strangers - unsolicited mail

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(in reply to TickledToDeath)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:45:30 PM

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Why do people even give this so much brain energy? It's the friggin internet.

edited to add...that was a fast reply.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:46:24 PM

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because they are humans and we spend way to much time here lol

( and the same behaviour can be seen in real life too..and that bothers people also)

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:49:00 PM

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From: New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: TickledToDeath

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: TickledToDeath

I agree. The person who writes to you via email, at the very least deserves some sort of response even if it is just a mere acknowledgment and a polite answer be it positive or negative. Courtesy. Common courtesy.

TTD

Well, no. As was pointed out earlier, I believe, do you reply to every piece of junk mail that lands in your post box?

Junk mail? No. Spam and junk is different. However I do indeed respond to every legit email from a real person one way or another. Spam and junk is a different story.

junk mail - unsolicited mail.

email from random strangers - unsolicited mail

Well then I guess I would have to say, it all depends on the email.
Commercialized mail....like an email telemarketer? No how.
A stranger that is inquiring about something on topic...like tickling bdsm etc...making an inquiry via aforementioned topics alike, I will respond. Flat out commercial crap asking me to buy something and topics outside of play etc. I will respond. True junk mail...no.
Again, it all depends on the content of the email....

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:54:16 PM

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I simply don't have time to reply to all my mail.
It's a combination of instinct,intuition and if-the-dishwasher-needs-stacking as to who gets a reply.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 2:58:44 PM

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TurboJugend

because they are humans and we spend way to much time here lol

( and the same behaviour can be seen in real life too..and that bothers people also)

They are random strangers who aren't even face to face.

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(in reply to TurboJugend)

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