ehlovindom
Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
quote:
ORIGINAL: ehlovindom
Finances have to separated from the "relationship" for the inevitability of growing old and the eventual departure of one of the partners. ......................The most abusive thing a dom could do is not ensure his sub is able to deal with these situations from a financial aspect.
i think you make good points here, about looking out for the future and retirement, etc. Your post made me think of a time years ago when i was working at a bank. A woman in her late 60s approached me with a completely lost look on her face. Her husband died. She had never written a check in her life. She did not know how much money she had in the bank. She did not know how she was going to get by. i sat with her for a long time, teaching her how to pay her bills (this was WAY before online bill pay!), telling her how much money she had, etc. Set her up with a bookkeeper to help balance her check book. She left quite an impression on me.
i believe the best idea is to not leave someone "strapped" (no pun intended for this message board). my Master is making damned sure that as he ages, i am equipped with the knowledge and skills necessary to take good care of myself. If i lived with him (and the reason i don't has nothing to do with "intimacy issues" as was suggested earlier), it is likely he would take full control of the money, but he would not not leave me handicapped, either.
It's an interesting discussion. i plan to ask him his thoughts on the subject.
I think your experience with this woman whose husband has died has been repeated for many women of the last generation and might be a thing of the past but it has been my experience that many women today are no better at finances. And to be fair, there are quite a few men who are equally inept! One irony is that in the previous generation, many women ran the household and that also meant managing money, except that the husband would give the wife a weekly allowance and most were good at budgeting. It is just that they were not given the entire financial "picture" so when the husband died, they were left wondering why he didn't have enough insurance, what was going on with the mortgage, how many chequing accounts they had, what is a mutual fund etc.
Now I am making generalities here but I have seen a number of posts of slaves who are required to turn over all their possessions to their master and are not allowed to have any money. I wonder, do these slaves have a pension plan? Is money being put aside every month for them? If their master suddenly dies, what happens to the slave who discovers there is no insurance money for her (it went to his ex-wife and kids!), no savings (he spent it all on nice toys), no retirement plan (more toys) and no house (mortgaged to the hilt).
You have to be educated financially to deal with any situation. Suppose your master has a stroke and is unable to communicate for months. It wouldn't be the best time to start asking questions about how to pay bills. If a sub or slave truly becomes the responsibility of a dom/me, then one of the most important things to show them is how to deal with the realities of our everyday financial life. To simply say that it isn't a sub's concern and that the dom/me will take of everything is just keeping the sub in the dark, and the dark is only good for growing mushrooms, fungus and manure.
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Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!
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