RE: Proof the Matrix is real

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Proof the Matrix is real

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> RE: Proof the Matrix is real

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 [5] 6 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 3/23/2010 12:27:53 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

What about when the dog doesn't start shedding until July, and is still shedding in September? He's about 3 months behind schedule.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 3/30/2010 8:56:22 AM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Games shows use to have a grand prize of $10k, then after several decades they doubled it to $20k. Now all of a sudden, every grand prize is $1 million. No one even watches game shows after the first season when the novelty wears off.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 4/3/2010 3:58:37 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

Phonographs were going to kill live performances.
Radio was going to kill phonographs.
TV was going to kill radio.
Videos were going to kill the movie houses.
The web was going to kill "dead tree" (printed) versions of books.

IPods were going to kill thought. Oh, wait...... that one is true. AND using cell phones while driving DOES kill people.

Double direction proof. The expected didn't happen. The unexpected did.

YIKES! Now I will be killed for revealing why cuckoldmepls is working on 5th page..... It is ALWAYS true that the expected might not happen and the unexpected might.

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 4/30/2010 8:25:49 AM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Finally, we get the democrats to approve off shore drilling on the east coast, and what happens? A drilling platform in the gulf explodes threatening the worst oil spill in history, and causing a massive economic disaster for the gulf region. You think this is a coincidence??? Not a chance. It's the matrix at work.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/6/2010 8:54:37 AM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Just realized this one while driving. You know those drains that go all the way across the road? Well for some strange reason not one has ever broken or caved in due to the weight of an 18 wheeler. It's just a thin metal grate. Geeeze.

I'm thinking a more logical approach to these drains would be a raised center of the road and use the old fashioned side drains anway. Sooner or later these things are going to have to crumble, and I would hate to be the car who hits one at 40 mph and immediately it will be like hitting a brick wall.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/6/2010 9:02:54 AM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Ever notice how weeds will always take over a yard without spraying or pulling them? It makes me wonder why it's not the other way around. Wouldn't it be nice if grass always squeezed out the weeds? Yea, that would make life too easy wouldn't it.

Another point to ponder is would we strive to have yards full of weeds if grass was always trying to take over? Would weeds then be the desired outcome???

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 86

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/13/2010 4:39:14 AM

marshalp

Posts: 94
Joined: 8/31/2009
Status: offline

I'm so glad this is the humor section...

I was so tempted to answer this dude's hilarious statements if they were somewhere else

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 87

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/13/2010 9:07:25 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Ok, we are $10 trillion in debt, yet the federal reserve is going to open up a line of credit for Greece. Since when did countries in debt become creditors???

(in reply to marshalp)

Profile

Post #: 88

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/14/2010 7:40:44 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

I just realized another matrix error with the oil well disaster in the Gulf. The first one was that we've been drilling in the gulf for probably 30 years, then finally got the democrats to agree to it, and the first thing that happens is a massive oil spill.

Well here's another error. You would think after 30 years, they would have at least 3 or 4 different techniques to prevent a blowout, ready to go at a moments notice with the only delay being the time it takes for ships to get there. They didn't have a damn thing ready to go.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 89

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/14/2010 7:43:32 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

I should have said fix a blow out, not prevent it. The blow out valve itself is supposed to prevent them.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 90

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/18/2010 7:54:36 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

A 4.0 GPA use to be the highest you could get since that was all straight "A's," but mysteriously now they go even higher than that. Don't tell me they give extra points now for not getting pregnant in high school.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 91

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/18/2010 7:56:27 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Richard Hatch was the only gay guy on Survivor, and he had the audacity to make everyone watch him walk around naked, and he still won.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 92

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 5/18/2010 7:58:21 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

$5 Flea collars use to work for the whole summer, but now the only thing that works cost $40 and you're lucky if 3 tubes last all summer long.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 93

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 6/1/2010 8:31:20 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

These days it's common for football players to cheat and intentionally try and rip the football out of the runner's hands. This is not surprising. What is surprising and doesn't make sense is that no one complains about it.

By the way, that's not the way it used to be. Back in the good ole days, coaches taught that when the ball was in the air, it was anyone's ball. They didn't teach players to play dirty.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 94

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 6/4/2010 8:38:24 AM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

How about Bananas. They come from halfway around the planet, someone is paid to pick them. Someone is paid to transport them to the warehouse, someone is paid to load them onto a $500 million dollar ship that will be a rust bucket by the time it's paid for and it gets .01 mpg, someone is paid to unload it, someone is paid to transport it to a warehouse, someone is paid to transport it to the grocery store, and it cost you $2 or $3 for one bunch.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 95

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 6/18/2010 12:54:39 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Just realized that Dr.'s have taken the Hippocratic oath for decades, which clearly states that Dr.'s will do no intentional harm, yet society still allows them to perform abortions even when there is no rape, incest or the mother's life is in danger.

Hippocratic Oath Translated To English
I swear by Apollo the physician, and Asclepius, and Hygieia and Panacea and all the gods and goddesses as my witnesses, that, according to my ability and judgement, I will keep this Oath and this contract:

To hold him who taught me this art equally dear to me as my parents, to be a partner in life with him, and to fulfill his needs when required; to look upon his offspring as equals to my own siblings, and to teach them this art, if they shall wish to learn it, without fee or contract; and that by the set rules, lectures, and every other mode of instruction, I will impart a knowledge of the art to my own sons, and those of my teachers, and to students bound by this contract and having sworn this Oath to the law of medicine, but to no others.
I will use those dietary regimens which will benefit my patients according to my greatest ability and judgement, and I will do no harm or injustice to them.
I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion.
In purity and according to divine law will I carry out my life and my art.
I will not use the knife, even upon those suffering from stones, but I will leave this to those who are trained in this craft.
Into whatever homes I go, I will enter them for the benefit of the sick, avoiding any voluntary act of impropriety or corruption, including the seduction of women or men, whether they are free men or slaves.
Whatever I see or hear in the lives of my patients, whether in connection with my professional practice or not, which ought not to be spoken of outside, I will keep secret, as considering all such things to be private.
So long as I maintain this Oath faithfully and without corruption, may it be granted to me to partake of life fully and the practice of my art, gaining the respect of all men for all time.
However, should I transgress this Oath and violate it, may the opposite be my fate.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 96

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 6/18/2010 2:46:45 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Yeah, you are about as goddamn funny as a wet ass.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 97

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 6/25/2010 10:15:00 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Look at Barney Frank. He looks like a drunk slob, talks with a lisp, and is obviously gay. Yet somehow he got elected to Congress. Although a person can't help who they like, it is still unbelieveable that he got elected. He recently said that it is impossible to have too much government. So he's a fricken lunatic too. Totally unbelieveable.

As opposed to Nancy Pelosi who I despise as a bleeding heart liberal as well, but at least with her I can believe she got elected just by looking at her tits. Even though I despise her (almost used the word hate but then I realized she would consider it to be a hate crime), I would still bend her over just to show her what kind of man I am.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 98

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 7/2/2010 10:15:59 AM

LoveAndDS

Posts: 39
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuckoldmepls

Every time i sit down to eat at the dinner table and while I'm looking out the sliding glass doors, the dog always happens to pick that time to take a crap. On top of that he always positions his ass towards me.

When I opened this topic up I was hoping for something thought provoking LOL

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

Profile

Post #: 99

RE: Proof the Matrix is real - 7/5/2010 7:59:54 PM

cuckoldmepls

Posts: 855
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

Ok, let me get this straight. You actually thought someone could prove that the matrix really did exist. Hmmm.... I would say the fact that you expected that someone could offer real proof is proof in itself that the matrix does exist. If you had any common sense there's no way you could have even think that it was possible to provide proof. That's the key to the matrix. People don't question it. They live a fantasy life from the time that they think they are born, and accept anything as reality that the matrix presents to them .

Technically no one can actually prove the matrix is real any more than they can prove there is live after death. That's a safeguard built into the system. So the next best thing is to look for clues. The best clues are obvious mistakes. I actually believe the clues are put there on purpose as a challenge to see who will win the matrix, the individual or the people as a whole. I've already won as an individual since I noticed 10 years ago that things weren't making any sense. For example, why wasn't the border with Mexico secured after 9/11 when it's obvious that any one including terrorists can walk across the border??? The most logical approach for any President would have been to secure the border at that time, and the vast majority of Americans would have not questioned it. That's when I began to pay attention.

Today, I saw NBC news mention "sovereign citizens." These supposedly are people who don't believe that they have to answer to any law what so ever. Now this is what's going on. The matrix is losing control of the people so they invented this Sovereign citizen in an effort to discredit the conservative political movement. Have you ever heard of a "sovereign citizen" in your entire life??? Remember when homeland security issued a warning that people who believe in the Constitution, secure borders, limited government, limited taxes, and abortion only when absolutely necessary are more of a threat to America than Islamic radicals. It's the same thing. Unfortunately for the matrix, no one is buying it any more.

I wonder what will happen when the matrix loses. Maybe it will send a massive asteroid hurtling towards earth to smash us to smithereens or maybe the gulf oil gusher will explode causing a massive tsunami and allowing ocean water to instantly drain into the empty cavern instantly converting into steam and blowing an even larger chunk out of the Gulf, perhaps causing more ocean water to rush in. Don't worry though, it won't be you. These catastrophes always happen to someone else, but they aren't really real. You will survive in your mental cocoon, at least until your time expires in the matrix, and it is time to join the real world again.

(in reply to LoveAndDS)

Profile

Post #: 100