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Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:37:16 AM

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If there was such a thing as a femdom "wank material" thread, I will be honest, yeah, that's kind of what this is. So I apologize for using you, if any of you feel used having to answer this question. But underneath it, there is an interesting question there: Why DO you struggle?

When you are put into bondage that you know is inescapable, why do you struggle?
When she is about to gag you, and you know she will get her way, why do you turn your head and delay it that one split second?
When she orders you to do something, why do you say, "No," even though you know in about 2 seconds you will be doing it?
When she grips her hand in your hair, why do you twist your head away, when it's futile to resist?

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:43:38 AM

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Simply to confirm what we already know. We know the tea is hot, we won't know how hot until we press the cup to our lips.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:48:37 AM

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Those decisions are hardwired into our lizard brains. A drowning person will open his mouth to try to breathe even though he is submerged in water. Not logical, but survival actions are not based on logic.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:53:14 AM

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I don't, generally. The only times I struggle are when he's applying pain so severe that the instinctive reaction of trying to avoid it, or at least delay the next lash long enough to process the previous one, overrides my desire to stay still for him, bound or not. Since I'm something of a masochist, with a high pain threshold, such occasions are pretty rare.... but treasured for their intensity.

Edted to add - and when he decides to tickle me. I'll struggle like mad every time then, lol.

< Message edited by NIrelandSubF -- 9/4/2009 10:54:36 AM >

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:56:30 AM

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Actually, I DON'T resist in the situations that you mention. Once I realize that the Dominant intends to beat me (no matter how obedient I am) I just 'give up' and realize that they are exploiting their power in an opportunistic way. if there really is not going to be any use in resisting, I dont resist.
A number of Dominants refused to see me after awhile because dominating me was not 'fun' for them; their enjoyment, and entertainment, came from punishing a 'bad boy' and so, with me being super-obedient they had to create false ways to accuse me of being 'bad'. They were like hunters who enjoy the hunt, and I, instead of fleeing and hiding, just sat looking at them. There was no 'conquest' for them.
That being said, I also recall some situations where I was being spanked, and the pain was so stinging that I could not hold still, and involuntarily squirmed, kicked, and bucked--much to the thrill of the Dominant who was ordering me to 'stop moving, just take it'. My movements were not being disobedient but reflexes from the pain.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 11:09:43 AM

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quote:

When you are put into bondage that you know is inescapable, why do you struggle?
When she is about to gag you, and you know she will get her way, why do you turn your head and delay it that one split second?
When she orders you to do something, why do you say, "No," even though you know in about 2 seconds you will be doing it?
When she grips her hand in your hair, why do you twist your head away, when it's futile to resist?

I don’t.
Unless he tells me to fight back.
To me, struggling wouldn’t qualify as submission.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 11:27:21 AM

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Lol, well, it is clear not all struggle.

i think it is something that happens for many perhaps in different ways. Inside for some, outside for others, maybe both for some.
To answer why those that do stuggle do so; well, i think they are aware there is no point to it...
That said, perhaps it is a testing... Am i truely restrained so that i cannot escape? Is this person truely in control? and they just can't submit unless they know.
Any physical struggle should stop after the questioning mind of the sub is settled. The mind might continue to have a hard time accepting, we have a lot of old programming in there!
If there is a continued struggle, well, perhaps the sub is trying to prove that their will is strong and that they are not totally under the control of the other.
This could mean that the sub needs to look deeper into why... or better the Dom/me and sub look into it together.

and such are my ponderings- fae

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 12:29:55 PM

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I like struggling, its hot.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 1:05:21 PM

gentlemanprince

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For me, the hottest thing is not to struggle but to accept whatever she wants to do to me. There is a real rush in doing that. Besides, I have promised to submit to my Lady; my own honor and integrity will not permit me to do anything less.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 1:43:15 PM

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The few times I have been constrained or anything like that, I think I struggled for a few reasons.
First off its habit and its natural to resist. Second, I think I was challenging the other persons dominance. He wasn't sure of himself or his dominance...so its hard not to resist, in a situation like that. Also I think as a new sub, its hard not to have hesitation even when the outcome is inevitable.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 1:46:49 PM

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I don't struggle as I feel the calmest and happiest I ever have. The tighter the better IMO.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 3:28:14 PM

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I never struggle in the situations mentioned. It negates the whole purpose of submission imo.
I do however struggle when the pain he is applying is more than I think I can take and the fight or flight response kicks in but with his help I usually end up being able to take more than I think I can.

There are times when I might struggle mentally with something he requires of me but again with his help I learn that I can do whatever it is because I trust him.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 3:55:23 PM

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Well... like others have said... it's hot. Personally, I kind of think bondage become slightly redundant if there's no struggle. If you're just going to stay still, not move, not struggle... why be tied up? You could stay still, not move and not struggle without the use of bondage...

Also, mostly I have played with reaction tops before, so I know that, apart from turning me on, watching the struggle will also be turning them on. I think I would get quite bored with a Top or Domme who didn't like me to struggle. :S

As for the gag and hair-pulling... again, it's hot. It's verging on a little non-consensual fantasy, which I think can be very enjoyable. I like resistance play, even though I know I will end up wearing the gag, or performing XYZ task... it's sexy to resist... partly (or perhaps largely) because I *know* I will eventually be overpowered and broken down, which only emphasises my helplessness.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 4:59:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

Lol, well, it is clear not all struggle.

i think it is something that happens for many perhaps in different ways. Inside for some, outside for others, maybe both for some.
To answer why those that do stuggle do so; well, i think they are aware there is no point to it...
That said, perhaps it is a testing... Am i truely restrained so that i cannot escape? Is this person truely in control? and they just can't submit unless they know.
Any physical struggle should stop after the questioning mind of the sub is settled. The mind might continue to have a hard time accepting, we have a lot of old programming in there!
If there is a continued struggle, well, perhaps the sub is trying to prove that their will is strong and that they are not totally under the control of the other.
This could mean that the sub needs to look deeper into why... or better the Dom/me and sub look into it together.

and such are my ponderings- fae

Agreed.

My old owner was new to the scene and wouldn't use as much force when dealing with me as I needed. Unfortunately, my way of dealing with this was to be a bit of a brat ( something I've now oevercome ), but struggling when he bound me was part of that. I didn't feel like I was being dominated so I did what I could to help get that feeling. Fighting back led to punishments, tighter ropes, less freedoms, all that I desired in the first place.

Now that I identify more as a switch, when I sub I struggle to see if I can turn the tables and get on top. Of course it depends who I'm playing with. I only switch mid-scene with my switchy boy, so it works out well for us. Other times I struggle to make sure that tea is hot, to use the words you mentioned before.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 5:25:08 PM

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quote:

Well... like others have said... it's hot. Personally, I kind of think bondage become slightly redundant if there's no struggle. If you're just going to stay still, not move, not struggle... why be tied up? You could stay still, not move and not struggle without the use of bondage...

To me, the bonds are only a symbol of my submission. And I have kept perfectly still without bonds, when ordered, and that is hot! for me! But limbs get tired, gravity rules, and so the rope and chains keep me in the place and position he wishes.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 5:28:40 PM

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It just shows that much more, just how much power the Mistress (or Master) has over you. And no mater what you do, won't stop what SHE WANTS to do to you. I guess to some it is like a kidnap fantansie or what ever.

It just feels pretty neat some times, though I don't remember ever struggling. If I ever get the chance again, I'll have to try that.

Missing out, sub BalletBob

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 5:52:59 PM

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I have found that when I struggled it was to test that of the one that was dominating me. To see how they would react to add a bit of intensity to the scene. I am a bit of a masochist that enjoys the harshness and struggle that comes from trying to suade me to submission. I enjoy pushing my Top to "break me"

Of course there are some Doms that I wouldn't dare struggling with for there are those that enjoy to be pushed and rise to the challenge, there are others that push back and will knock a bitch on her ass. lol.

< Message edited by nympholicious -- 9/4/2009 5:54:07 PM >

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 6:44:39 PM

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Some Doms like it when the sub struggles. A little like role playing.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 7:05:14 PM

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To me, it seems like a kite. A kite won't fly high against a slack string. The tautest string, pulling against a strong wind will make the kite fly highest. It's the resistance which intensifies the sensation of control.

Now this is as far as I've ever gotten. I suppose there is a relaxation that comes with the realization and surrender leading to that mythical "subspace" people talk about here with such reverence and affection. sigh Perhaps one day.

yours

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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 7:08:17 PM

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I'm usually not struggling when I do things like that. I am drinking in the full weight of my predicament by proving to myself how utterly possessed I am in that moment. I want to feel the cuffs or rope cut into my wrists. I want to feel all my energy not move my body one inch beyond where he wants it. I want to know that I now look only where he desires and the firey pain from the roots of my hair giving way is his passion for me and my undoing. I must turn away to know my mouth is his. I couldn't say no if I wanted to though, even if inside my own head I am screaming it, it just lets that power and control sink all the way to my soul. For me it's not about resistence. It is about being flooded and the dams within giving way.

lovingpet

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