RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/8/2009 8:41:28 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

It physically feels good to strain against bonds, restraints, or my Master, and pulling against his hold on my hair serves to intensify it. Occasionally I struggle out of fear, and that's hot too, but it's usually neither truly struggling nor roleplaying, just glorying in the sensation and emotions it brings as I bring my strength to bear. It can be very primal, or sensual, or unexpectedly sweet.

(in reply to shadowowl)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/9/2009 8:51:30 AM

FirmhandNC

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/28/2009
Status: offline

Are you an Eskimo?

(in reply to FelineFae)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/12/2009 8:18:03 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

If there was such a thing as a femdom "wank material" thread, I will be honest, yeah, that's kind of what this is. So I apologize for using you, if any of you feel used having to answer this question. But underneath it, there is an interesting question there: Why DO you struggle? ...

I struggle because he likes it…but also to ‘send me on my way’.

The thing is…for me, while I have a submissive spirit and am far to interested in pleasing than is probably healthy, I also know that for me to participate in a D/s relationship I must consciously let go of the truth. The truth is…nobody can own me, I can always say ‘No’, I can walk away at any time. I don’t want to believe that…consciously deciding NOT to believe it is what turns me on.

Deep down, I know my partner is not going to ‘hurt’ me…not really. I trust him, you see. But then…how can he scare me; and he (or she) does!

I remember once, the first time I participated in spontaneous role-play with a lovely Domina I know, I ended up following behind her, crawling on hands and knees, going as fast as I could due to her expressed ‘displeasure’. She marched across the dungeon floor at Thunder (annual event in Denver) with me at her heels to a corner on the far side of the huge room. She stopped, grabbed me by the hair and pressed my face into a corner where she told me to stay until she returned. By then, I was sobbing uncontrollably; snot and tears covering my hotly miserable face…but I stayed. Later, she snuggled with me and I came to realize the very difficult and draining scene…was one of the best I ever experienced.

In my mind, that is a lot like struggling. I struggled mightily with what the hell I was doing. Of course, I could have stood and politely said this sort of play was not for me; ‘no thank you’. But the…I would never get to play with her again, never experience the delicious joy of being ‘punished’ by another…regardless of with whom I played.

So the struggle for me is feeling the bondage (ropes or imagined) at its fullest. Besides, it is my experience that the men I know actually like the struggle. They are not kidnappers, rapists or abusers of any sort…but I think sometimes they like to feel that perhaps they can be. The more I struggle, the deeper I get into the situation…and the harder they get; if you know what I mean. It’s all good.

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/12/2009 8:24:25 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

...If you get off on say ... single tailing, do you just stand there just holding the single tail going "phwooar this is really horny" or do you actually play with it? Its the same in bondage. If I am bound and helpless I want to actively feel that helplessness ... so I struggle thus experiencing the helplessness.

To that same vein, I think, it has been explained to me that just standing there, hanging by my wrists to a cross, does little for the one wielding the whip. I writhe, I cry, I beg to stop. Hey, it hurts like hell…but I love it. I like having to ‘take’ what will be dished out, I like feeling miserable but joyous in my submission to such treatment. I also know, the more fun my partner has…the more cuddling and petting I will get when finished. Course, that comes after a ‘cleansing’ spritz of alcohol is fired across my welts, a finger is drawn down the especially deep ones with comments about how lovely that particular mark is…only to be followed by another spritz of the alcohol. Yelp!!!

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to softness)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/12/2009 8:28:22 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
...
When I Dominate I want a reaction submissive and when Stephen pins me down and ties me up he knows he's going to have to use his physical strength.
I recently did an interrogation scene with a reactive sub and his determination to not comply was so fucking hot that it brought out the best in me.... it was like flying. I then did an interrogation with un unresponsive sub and it was soooo 'yawn' boring and disappointing. I want the fight, the reactions to make it feel real.
Steve says the same about me. He says that he loves the way I cry, scream, beg and struggle because he enjoys the force he can put in to subdue me.

I will add to that, that my submission doesn't (like some people here) flow out of me like melted honey. Depending on the situation he may really have to fight me into submission and I love the way he can do that.
Looks like I have to pass on the medal for being a twue submissive

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Yeah, I guess I'm a lot like you.

And...I have to say that (even though I realize you are being facetious), it is wrong to assume that one who struggles is less twuely submissive than one who does not. Personally...I'd vote for the former... (and I bet twue doms would too) :D

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/12/2009 8:37:37 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
Besides, it is my experience that the men I know actually like the struggle. They are not kidnappers, rapists or abusers of any sort…but I think sometimes they like to feel that perhaps they can be. The more I struggle, the deeper I get into the situation…and the harder they get; if you know what I mean. It’s all good.

Yep, the fear and struggling are an aphrodisiac for both of us!

(in reply to Bearlee)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/12/2009 10:18:21 AM

sheila24

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/12/2009
Status: offline

It is that last little bit of uncertainity about giving over absolute control. Knowing you are going to lose the struggle is part of the fun. It also gives her good reason to punish just a little harder.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/19/2009 2:13:21 PM

BoundDragon

Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline

I like to resist and struggle a little, I can't help it.
To feel his strength or to feel completely out of control really gets my pulse racing.

I love it when my sir is above me, he grabs my wrists and looks me straight in the eye as he hold them above my head, feeling me try to pull against him (unsuccessfully).

After a little resistance I always behave myself... if he told me to keep my hands there I would, without his help. He still has my total submission but he receives it with heightened emotion and a deeper bond. It cements his strength in the relationship and my acceptence of it... bliss!

(in reply to sheila24)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/19/2009 2:30:21 PM

sigh4u08

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline

For me, it depended. There were times when i knew that any struggle was NOT appreciated, while other times, it really enhanced the scene. This was true with each of the (few) Doms i either submitted to or bottomed to. Knowing i was NOT to struggle (and would be punished if i did) was hot, but knowing that my struggle would get a playful reaction made the whole thing different. Which was better? Hard to say. i have delicious memories of it both ways.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/19/2009 5:42:47 PM

Fluke

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermioneinchains

I kind of resent the "struggling negates submission" posts. Come on - for you, maybe, struggling is not apart of it. But don't rain on everyone else's parade. There is no D/s Bible that states "thou shalt not struggle, for it is an abomination."

Personally, I am a huge fan of struggling. It makes me more submissive. When I'm allowed to struggle (and there is that necessary element, for me. I don't struggle without some basic permission), I really get to feel my bonds, or feel how much stronger my Master is than I am. My weakness - my helplessness and vulnerability - is never more apparent than when I've actually resisted, and failed utterly.

Not to mention struggling is like holding up a sign that says "Take me harder, please." How on earth is that not submissive?

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I found myself agreeing with everything you said.
When I Dominate I want a reaction submissive and when Stephen pins me down and ties me up he knows he's going to have to use his physical strength.
I recently did an interrogation scene with a reactive sub and his determination to not comply was so fucking hot that it brought out the best in me.... it was like flying. I then did an interrogation with un unresponsive sub and it was soooo 'yawn' boring and disappointing. I want the fight, the reactions to make it feel real.
Steve says the same about me. He says that he loves the way I cry, scream, beg and struggle because he enjoys the force he can put in to subdue me.

I will add to that, that my submission doesn't (like some people here) flow out of me like melted honey. Depending on the situation he may really have to fight me into submission and I love the way he can do that.
Looks like I have to pass on the medal for being a twue submissive

These posts are made of pure awesome..!!