RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight?

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 3:53:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

This speaks of a sort of micromanagement that does not appeal to me.

While I would certainly be supportive, I would not desire to take charge of every little detail.
In fact, I would find it pivotal for the s-type to manage his or her own details in that regard: 'give a man a fish... vs teach a man to fish..." and such. Support and guidance, yep. Micromanagemet, no.
Davan

Wow!

Would you really call trying to get someone to stop smoking, or to lose weight (assuming they really would benefit from it), micromanagement?

I would encourage you to re-read my post as you appear to have had a knee-jerk reaction and missed some important facets.
Davan

Do tell???

Well, I re-read your post.

It said, in part: "This speaks of a sort of micromanagement that does not appeal to me. While I would be supportive, I would not desire to take charge of every little detail."

So, what, exactly, did I miss?

And what, precisely, makes my reply "knee jerk"?

(in reply to DavanKael)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 3:54:29 PM

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That is why I said earlier, a good leader, leads from the front. You would not ask her to do anything you would not do. Don't say "You are going to eat better and get into shape" say "We are going to eat better and get into shape". Walk with her, hold her ankles while she does sit ups etc etc. at least for a few months until results start to be seen and then she might be so tickled she won't need you there to do it on her own.

As for smoking, what is one of your bad habits that you need to break? Get rid of your bad habit with hers if possible.

If you take the lead and start running, she will try her damndest to keep up.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:20:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it?

i think there can be lots of positive incentives for doing each. i'm skeptical about someone that embarks on it solely for the other person without any personal connection or desire to change for themselves. it can have a good outcome or lead to resentment that quietly brews within her.

my common sense says that if i'm a smoker and the other party doesn't care for this at all. there's going to be a problem. it is a habit. one i engage in by choice, but a habit nonetheless and one that is proven difficult to break. which leads us back to my original comment and the effectiveness you'll have if she isn't bothered by it. i would also believe if this was very unappealing to the dominant he's better off with someone that doesn't have this problem. we can like a person but we have to be realistic about what we're willing to live with as well. if she expressed a desire at the onset to give up smoking without his influence that is markedly different and provides a hint of promise that it can be overcome with some assistance.

in regard to her weight, that's really touch and go. discounting genetics and health concerns since you stated neither were a part of this. i'm gathering you'd simply prefer to see her a little smaller. once again my common sense asks off the top of my head, if you prefer a thinner woman, why aren't you with one? i think there is a very gray area here and people have an inherent need to be accepted as is. i'm more than willing to have someone help me become the best person that i can, but i also hope he can accept that i may fall short of some of those things as well.

no one is perfect. we can't hand design our partners. there are always things we would tweak, others we'd blatantly rid them of altogether. i'm certain she has her own list where you're concerned, but the dynamic may not lend her the possibility of articulating them. i suggest that you invite her do so and open the floor for discussion. i can see how this could be beneficial if you're both working towards changes that the other supports. if it is merely one sided and you sit upon a perch in judgment while maintaining blind indifference to your own shortcomings, it is inevitable that your words will come back to haunt you.

on a personal note i've had assistance in the past with improving my health. but his methods were questionable and he only made me more neurotic in the long run. i did appreciate keeping a food journal and found it made me very cognizant of my behavior since i had to document it all. i'm meticulous and enjoy being tasked. this is something i'd prefer that my dominant undertake. best of luck.

porcelaine

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:20:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DePubed

When a Dominant starts to tell me that I must lose weight or change my appearance I realize that they do not want 'ME'.

My feelings are hurt even though they try to be kindly about it or when they try to pretend it is not about appearance but about 'health'. I realize that what they are actually saying is that they do not find me attractive, but that they might find me attractive if I modified my appearance .

I think the difference here between this and leadership's post is that Jeff and Carol are already in a solid relationship.

In a new one, it will be quite obvious that they don't like you as you are, and that's a killer.

These kinds of changes are easier to make when the relationship is strong and has weathered storms already.

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:26:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I think the difference here between this and leadership's post is that Jeff and Carol are already in a solid relationship.
In a new one, it will be quite obvious that they don't like you as you are, and that's a killer.
These kinds of changes are easier to make when the relationship is strong and has weathered storms already.

Yeah, I absolutely agree. But there's another and larger point I suspect. Back when we were vanilla, I had the "weight" conversation with Carol and it turned out poorly. She was processing it much like some of the posters here are suggesting... "so I'm not good enough for you the way I am?" In the end, the truth was that she WAS, in fact, good enough the way she was so I just let it drop. As Carol transitioned from being my wife to being my property, however, she got a different mindset about it. If Carol is mine, then her body is mine. If I want that body to be slimmer, have longer hair, be dressed differently, or even, god forbid, have bangs which get in her eyes, then that's all my call to make. She has ceded rights to her own body within her own head, and with that, the conflict went away.

Honestly, all except for that first step of "making her mine", the rest is easy. I tell her what to do and she does it. That first step is a doozy though *laughs*

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:39:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it?

in regard to her weight, that's really touch and go. discounting genetics and health concerns since you stated neither were a part of this. i'm gathering you'd simply prefer to see her a little smaller. once again my common sense asks off the top of my head, if you prefer a thinner woman, why aren't you with one? i think there is a very gray area here and people have an inherent need to be accepted as is. i'm more than willing to have someone help me become the best person that i can, but i also hope he can accept that i may fall short of some of those things as well.

I thought I was clear in my original post, but apparently that wasn't the case.

I was speaking of a Dom/Domme/Master who genuinely wanted his sub/slave to lose weight for health reasons, not just to improve the sub's/slave's appearance to the Dom/Domme/Master (although I'm sure that for some improving the sub's/slave's appearance is a good enough reason).

Second, just for the record, it's a hypothetical question, which doesn't mean I don't have a real interest in the responses.

(in reply to porcelaine)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:39:44 PM

LordDarkPleasure

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I have helped a sub stop taking cocaine and another one stop being bullimic.

You can't order a sub to just do something like that. What I did however is tell her directly that I disapprove of her behavior, and that while I will not ask her to stop, I will give her my full support if she does try to.

Now this is the interesting part for a Dom, and how BDSM actually helped in the process: I ordered her one thing: to actually tell me when she would do what I disliked. At first she wouldn't tell me automatically, but after me asking a few times and her feeling very ashamed telling me she did, she would want to stop. After that I gave her positive support, and would reward her with positive reinforcement. When she would be bad, I would tell her how she improved compared to before, and ask her if she wanted to be punished or not. The answer would usually be yes, and we would discuss on her punishment together.

Doing this process, time lapses between episodes where she would be bad would increase, and at some point I'd even forget about it and she'd come to me and tell me she was fine for a whole year! And then I was stuck having to think of a suitable reward for her.

< Message edited by LordDarkPleasure -- 9/9/2009 4:40:41 PM >

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:41:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight?

My partner doesn't get me to do anything. That implies some sort of coaxing. I don't need coaxing to do what he requires of me regardless of how big it might be. I do need confidence in him and to know of his confidence in me.

This may not sound like the same thing, but it was a HUGE undertaking to have me undress and play publicly for the first time recently. It is still something I guarantee I will struggle with. The reason I could do it at all was because I knew regardless of if I succeeded or failed, he was going to still be with me and we would work it out together, then or later. I also knew he believed I could do it and supported me all the way through it. This was actually a pretty important step for my mental health after some of my history. I got scared, paniced, cried. He ordered, comforted, and held me. In the end, we did it TOGETHER. There was no struggle against him or what he asked of me. I wanted to do all I could to show I trusted him and that his faith in me was not misplaced.

Approach these things with the delicacy that they inherently have, but do not fiddle around with it either. I think first you will need to have a solid foundation for your relationship including trust on both sides. Accept that person as is, but also take him or her higher along the way. Hope this helps!

lovingpet

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:49:04 PM

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That first step is a doozy though *laughs*

Indeed it is. And has already been pointed out, you need to be well into that first step before undertaking anything this drastic, in my opinion.

Also, I think your chances of success would be greatly improved if the impetus came from the s-type.

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:49:27 PM

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I am under a weight loss program. We came up with a goal weight for me and a reasonable, healthy timeframe to lose it in.
He is doing this because he loves to control all aspects of my life and I love it too. Plus I look much better when I'm thinner.
I have found it extremely motivating when I know I have to weigh in every morning and record it into a notebook along with sending the number to him in an email.
He has now implemented a workout program also. I could come up with a million reasons for not working out and have for a long time now. That is until he told me that I had to exercise and what I had to do daily. Now there is no more excuses. I do it because he has told me to.
It works for us because we both crave and enjoy how he controls all the aspects of my life from what I cook, how I dress, how I schedule my day.

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:52:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Second, just for the record, it's a hypothetical question, which doesn't mean I don't have a real interest in the responses.

i made no assumption that you didn't have a vested interest in the responses. perhaps you've misread my comments.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 4:55:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

As Carol transitioned from being my wife to being my property, however, she got a different mindset about it. If Carol is mine, then her body is mine. If I want that body to be slimmer, have longer hair, be dressed differently, or even, god forbid, have bangs which get in her eyes, then that's all my call to make. She has ceded rights to her own body within her own head, and with that, the conflict went away.

Honestly, all except for that first step of "making her mine", the rest is easy. I tell her what to do and she does it. That first step is a doozy though *laughs*

This is exactly how it is for us. He has told me that I am an extension of him. Anything that is about me has become about him since I am a direct reflection of him. I have to get permission to change anything about my body, or my life, for that matter. By entering this relationship I have agreed to give him all control of all aspects of me. It works on so many mental levels for both of us.

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 5:33:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

This is exactly how it is for us. He has told me that I am an extension of him. Anything that is about me has become about him since I am a direct reflection of him. I have to get permission to change anything about my body, or my life, for that matter. By entering this relationship I have agreed to give him all control of all aspects of me. It works on so many mental levels for both of us.

exactly! when you really see yourself as an extension of him and want to demonstrate that in the best possible fashion, it is possible you'll be willing to initiate these discussions without any prompting from the dominant.

porcelaine

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/9/2009 9:46:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it?

I actually had a head start prior to meeting him. I embarked on my own weight loss plan on my own, and stopped smoking on my own. And then we met, grew into a relationship, and he took ownership of me.

However, both weight loss and smoking cessation are quite difficult; doing them at the same time is...well...crazy lol. There are times I want to throw my hands in the air about it all, but I don't. I don't for two reasons - I owe it to myself to keep going, and my desire to please him overrides my desire to eat something junky or smoke.

What he does is encourage me. He celebrates my weight loss with prideful congratulations and I have come to look forward to reporting in with good news. I don't like those weeks in which I have not lost or even put a pound back on, not just because I personally want to lose the weight, but because I don't like delivering less than good news to him. I want him to be happy with my progress, and I want to give both of us a more enjoyable and healthy body to play with.

As for smoking, he says it's simply not an option to start again. He says I don't need cigarettes anymore, and he's right (I took them up again last summer because of stress). Once over dinner I told him of a struggle in dealing with certain things, and confessed that I had had a cigarette the previous day. He simply said that was no longer acceptable, he was glad I told him but should have told him sooner, and next time he won't be so forgiving about it. Enough said. I still crave them, but I crave his approval and pride in me more.

So, 45 pounds down and several months without smoking, and I have every intention of continuing to succeed with both efforts. His happiness with me is a wonderful reward.

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/10/2009 5:34:32 AM

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When i was owned, my Master was VERY integrated so to speak into my appearance and weight. Because he was my Master, he created the environment within which i existed. If he wanted me to lose weight (FOR WHATEVER REASON) he made sure his control of me included reaching and maintaining this determination of his for me. Some days it would mean telling me what i would be eating in a day, most days it included him telling me to go work out or going with me. Some days he slapped food out of my mouth, some days he set a regime for the week. ALl in all, he was in control of me, he was my authority, and so because of this he set the environment that would best produce the results he wanted. Some days i rebelled, some days i simply did what i was supposed too, some days i enjoyed it some days i hated it, but his strength is what kept me reaching and maintaining his expectations and standards and determinations for me. Some days i got my behind beat for not obeying other days i was rewarded for accomplishing something he wanted, some days there was no mention of it at all. There were rules, expectations, decisions, consequences, rewards etc. BUt mostly it was all simply incorporated into my day as existing as his slave.

I've never done it to make him happy, i did it because he expected it and determined it and yes, set the environment due to being the Master and the one in control of me that he decided i would accomplish this under his authority. All in all, i was his slave, his determinations for me didn't need my approval. He could do as he wished.

I never get how women get all upset cause a guy who is THE MASTER chooses for her to change. To me part of being a slave is living by his determination and recognizing if he didn't want ME, i wouldn't be kept lol. I just don't understand how people freak out cause a Man who is an owner and Master makes a determination for their slave that they will change something about themselves --- to me as an owner they don't need a reason.

I actually am seeking right now a local person who could help me with getting back in shape because i suck at doing it on my own and i do better when i have an authority figure setting the expectations and standards that don't allow me to make excuses to myself --- i am soo not pippylongstocking -- when its time for bed i don't spank myself til i go, i simply keep doing what i want to do lol. To me, a Master is a Master, he either steps up to the plate as same and not become all wishywashy because a subject may be taboo (i.e., making their slave DO something like well lose weight or stop smoking) because god forbid its not a nice thing to make someone do unless they wanna.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 9/10/2009 5:42:43 AM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/10/2009 10:38:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

When i was owned, my Master was VERY integrated so to speak into my appearance and weight. Because he was my Master, he created the environment within which i existed. If he wanted me to lose weight (FOR WHATEVER REASON) he made sure his control of me included reaching and maintaining this determination of his for me. Some days it would mean telling me what i would be eating in a day, most days it included him telling me to go work out or going with me. Some days he slapped food out of my mouth, some days he set a regime for the week. ALl in all, he was in control of me, he was my authority, and so because of this he set the environment that would best produce the results he wanted. Some days i rebelled, some days i simply did what i was supposed too, some days i enjoyed it some days i hated it, but his strength is what kept me reaching and maintaining his expectations and standards and determinations for me. Some days i got my behind beat for not obeying other days i was rewarded for accomplishing something he wanted, some days there was no mention of it at all. There were rules, expectations, decisions, consequences, rewards etc. BUt mostly it was all simply incorporated into my day as existing as his slave.

I've never done it to make him happy, i did it because he expected it and determined it and yes, set the environment due to being the Master and the one in control of me that he decided i would accomplish this under his authority. All in all, i was his slave, his determinations for me didn't need my approval. He could do as he wished.

I never get how women get all upset cause a guy who is THE MASTER chooses for her to change. To me part of being a slave is living by his determination and recognizing if he didn't want ME, i wouldn't be kept lol. I just don't understand how people freak out cause a Man who is an owner and Master makes a determination for their slave that they will change something about themselves --- to me as an owner they don't need a reason.

I actually am seeking right now a local person who could help me with getting back in shape because i suck at doing it on my own and i do better when i have an authority figure setting the expectations and standards that don't allow me to make excuses to myself --- i am soo not pippylongstocking -- when its time for bed i don't spank myself til i go, i simply keep doing what i want to do lol. To me, a Master is a Master, he either steps up to the plate as same and not become all wishywashy because a subject may be taboo (i.e., making their slave DO something like well lose weight or stop smoking) because god forbid its not a nice thing to make someone do unless they wanna.

angel

I hear you, angel.

But it seems to me, from the responses, that there is a serious disagreement on the question whether a Dom/Master should endeavor to change something fundamental about his/her sub/slave, like his/her weight, just because it would make the sub/slave more physically appealing to the Dom/Master.

I don't think the disagreement is so much about whether the Dom/Master can require the sub/slave to lose weight for any reason--I think the general consensus is that he/she can--but whether or not he/she ought to do it.

In purely practical terms, I think it would be much easier to find a sub/slave who is the weight I prefer, than it is to find a sub/slave who is not, and require her to lose weight until she is.

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/10/2009 11:01:47 AM

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To me, its about chemistry. If you find a woman who fits you in all ways but the concept of her weight and you do have chemistry despite of it and you (note i am seriously saying YOU as in the Master) are willing to put the major work it will require to achieve what you wish from your slave (cost), then lay it on the line to her prior to collaring her and tell her its not negotiable and explain that she will need to have a value higher than your costs. Its not an easy concept to control, you will have to be prepared for all different concepts associated with weight loss and be prepared to deal with failures as well as successes be knowledgeable of the very concept of losing weight, nutrition and exercise or have her work with people who do wherein you participate with her or have the expectation she will attend sessions with same. Its a lot of work for it could mean you getting up at 4:30 a.m. to get her up and take her to the gym to put her through her paces of exercise. Its a lot of hands on, and you have to also be prepared to know when to punish, when to discipline, and when to recognize the failure to reach a goal you set was not her fault. But also, you do have to be prepared to deal with the psychological concepts because you will be making her weight a very focused concept and yes, it could lead to esteem problems or depression if the weight loss doesn't flow like you want it too.

I know many doms who are too afraid to tell their subs they would like them to become more fit or more in shape because they are afraid of offending the woman. I know many doms who decide their sub or slave WILL do this but give them no guidance or discipline its simply the do this leaving her floundering on her own regarding something she probably HAS worked on but on her own just hasn't succeeded.

All in all, for some its not hard, it wasn't with me and my former Master, i had no clue what he actually did and he actually did take on a responsibility i did not and he was the one who made it happen, i was lazy, i just obeyed lol. For some it will be a MAJOR issue with them and in the end it could harm your relationship instead of make her feel safe and secure in your keeping her. My safety and security came in knowing he was hands on and he chose to maintain his property a certain way and would work to achieve same. Some women would loose her self-esteem because she would believe he wanted to change her means he doesn't want her. I never felt that way. I found security in his very micromaintaining of my person lol. Only wish i had the discipline he had to maintain my body the way he did lol.

All in all, it comes down to the simple question -- how much work are you willing to put into your slave to have her reach and maintain the expectations YOU set for her rather than what she sets for herself and expects you to simply accept as being her.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/10/2009 11:57:10 AM

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quote:

I actually had a head start prior to meeting him. I embarked on my own weight loss plan on my own, and stopped smoking on my own. And then we met, grew into a relationship, and he took ownership of me.
However, both weight loss and smoking cessation are quite difficult; doing them at the same time is...well...crazy lol. There are times I want to throw my hands in the air about it all, but I don't. I don't for two reasons - I owe it to myself to keep going, and my desire to please him overrides my desire to eat something junky or smoke.

Whether one agrees with the concept of turning our addictions over to a ‘higher power’ or not, it is a method that has worked well for many people. I don’t see a problem with the submissive person looking to the dominant partner and/or the relationship itself as that ‘higher power’.
As your post indicates, it would seem to me it is possible to be both internally and externally motivated and it doesn’t have to make a difference which came first.

quote:

So, 45 pounds down and several months without smoking,

And kudos to you, I bet that feels great!

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(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/10/2009 2:11:40 PM

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Interjecting the BDSM element in things such as weight loss or smoking is just silly. You help them the same way anyone else would. Be supportive and be an involved partner to what you'd like changed.

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RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard ... - 9/10/2009 2:25:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight?

If you have had success in either or both of those areas, would you please share with me what you did, and how you did it?

If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it?

What is the greater force of persuasion: the chocolate cake in the refrigerator, the pack of cigarettes waiting at the convenience store down the street, or the Master? I'm aware this is a simplistic approach, but it is vitally relevant and speaks to the stark reality that only the addicted individual can make the ultimate decision to reject their addictions. Thus, it's a matter of how relevant your wishes are. If you want to command her body, command her mind foremost. You will see soon enough where you lie on the ladder of importance in this respect. Sometimes these exercises can be fairly revealing, I will add.

As one who has experience in this area, I will say this: be very proactive in enforcing your regimen. Monitor closely and intimately. Have her account to you every day in private dialog. Administer positive reinforcement in conjunction with discipline and punishment, when needed. Use this overall mantle as her rock to cling to as she suffers withdrawals and bouts of uncertainty. As the old substance supports wither and die away, you move in to take their place. Be consistent and structured, but don't loose empathy as well.

I'm not going to share the finer details of what I have done, as I don't believe they should be freely given out to someone who lacks the imagination or resolve to come up with them on his own, and besides, I don't think offering a "formula" of specific acts or rules would help much anyway; each situation, just like each person, is different, and needs to be handled as such.

This is very good advice, the best I've seen in the (so far) three pages of this thread. I've experienced a similar approach. It worked.

I've also experienced something a lot more minimalist. Someone told me to stop buying fast food dinners (I really hate to cook) because of the expense and low nutritional value of the food and I just did it. But the second experience occurred years after the first. I think if I hadn't undergone the first experience, I wouldn't have had the capacity to respond positively or appropriately (i.e. just obey) the second. Dominants freuently talk about former training in a submissive as a Bad Thing that they have to undo or that causes them difficulties. I beleive that point of view holds in certain limited (and often exaggerated) cases. But other times former training can save them so very much time and effort. :)

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight?

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