How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight?

How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (Full Version)

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Blaakmaan -> How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 6:44:59 AM)
Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight? [By the way, I'm talking about getting the sub/slave to do those things for her health, not to make her into a Barbie doll.] If you have had success in either or both of those areas, would you please share with me what you did, and how you did it? If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it? Thanks to all who respond.

SassyBird -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 6:58:14 AM)
People can only make positive changes in their life if they really want to do it. Not because someone tells them they have to.

Blaakmaan -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 7:03:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SassyBird People can only make positive changes in their life if they really want to do it. Not because someone tells them they have to. I understand that. But isn't it part of the Dom's/Master's "job" to help motivate the sub/slave to want to make those kinds of changes?

KYsissy -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 7:17:22 AM)
If it were me, I would need almost a personal trainer type of situation with my Dom as the trainer. This would mean that you would also have to participate in the exercise and the diet. Both of you doing it together would make it an enjoyable activity rather than, a task that must be done. And if you are right along side of your sub then the punishment for infractions would mean more. Its kinda like in the military, good leaders, lead from the front.

IrishMist -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 7:29:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight? [By the way, I'm talking about getting the sub/slave to do those things for her health, not to make her into a Barbie doll.] If you have had success in either or both of those areas, would you please share with me what you did, and how you did it? If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it? Thanks to all who respond. Like any addiction, a person can only be motivated to change behavior when THEY are ready to do so. No amount of 'being ordered to', being forced to, being threatened, coerced, bullied, etc etc will have any effect on the outcome. Unless the person makes the decision THEMSELVES, for the right reasons, the behaviors will continue.

Viridana -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 7:30:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan quote: ORIGINAL: SassyBird People can only make positive changes in their life if they really want to do it. Not because someone tells them they have to. I understand that. But isn't it part of the Dom's/Master's "job" to help motivate the sub/slave to want to make those kinds of changes? You can only motivate so much. The motivation and decision to make such lifestyle changes has to come from within themselves.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 7:32:58 AM)
It personally would help me. Sometimes its easier if there is someone to answer to. Although the motivation and desire still has to be there. I think the Master can help you stay on track. Although, losing weghtwould be easier than quiting smoking. The Master can have the Slve journal her food and send it to him to review. He can also require exercise a certain amount of times a week.

Acer49 -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 7:49:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight? [By the way, I'm talking about getting the sub/slave to do those things for her health, not to make her into a Barbie doll.] If you have had success in either or both of those areas, would you please share with me what you did, and how you did it? If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it? Thanks to all who respond. As far as weight loss, you can institute a eating and exercise plan which can be monitored but do not forget there may be physiological and emotional reasons attached to ones eating habits. As far as requiring one to stop smoking, the involvement should be minimal and well thought out. You can say where ones are allowed to smoke, you can suggest that one quits or at least cuts down. It is not an area I would advise using punishment or humiliations tactics as I believe that will simply add unneeded emotional pressure and there will be no benefits derived from it. Smoking is a disease and an addiction

DavanKael -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 8:01:32 AM)
This speaks of a sort of micromanagement that does not appeal to me. While I would certainly be supportive, I would not desire to take charge of every little detail. In fact, I would find it pivotal for the s-type to manage his or her own details in that regard: 'give a man a fish... vs teach a man to fish..." and such. Support and guidance, yep. Micromanagemet, no. Davan

MarcEsadrian -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task. (9/9/2009 8:50:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight? If you have had success in either or both of those areas, would you please share with me what you did, and how you did it? If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it? What is the greater force of persuasion: the chocolate cake in the refrigerator, the pack of cigarettes waiting at the convenience store down the street, or the Master? I'm aware this is a simplistic approach, but it is vitally relevant and speaks to the stark reality that only the addicted individual can make the ultimate decision to reject their addictions. Thus, it's a matter of how relevant your wishes are. If you want to command her body, command her mind foremost. You will see soon enough where you lie on the ladder of importance in this respect. Sometimes these exercises can be fairly revealing, I will add. As one who has experience in this area, I will say this: be very proactive in enforcing your regimen. Monitor closely and intimately. Have her account to you every day in private dialog. Administer positive reinforcement in conjunction with discipline and punishment, when needed. Use this overall mantle as her rock to cling to as she suffers withdrawals and bouts of uncertainty. As the old substance supports wither and die away, you move in to take their place. Be consistent and structured, but don't loose empathy as well. I'm not going to share the finer details of what I have done, as I don't believe they should be freely given out to someone who lacks the imagination or resolve to come up with them on his own, and besides, I don't think offering a "formula" of specific acts or rules would help much anyway; each situation, just like each person, is different, and needs to be handled as such.

Missokyst -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 8:59:03 AM)
I dated a dominant who wanted to help me lose weight. I followed his direction and was rewarded weekly with a date for dinner at a very nice low carb restaraunt. He was doing the same diet right along with me, the diet was atkins. I did lose weight, however I totally messed up my digestive/elimination system. Not staying on that diet after we split I regained the weight, and still have problems with digestion, ect, 10 yrs later. He, btw, had to have bi-pass shortly after the diet. If you are going to walk someone down a part for their "health" make sure it is the right one. I had no issues with my digestion before that diet. And though I got to buy a lot of nice things I felt no better physically when I lost the weight. Unless someone is morbidly obese and a doctor warns of early death it is best to stay out of the health game. As for smoking, I was a 2 pack a day habit for 10 yrs. I quit in one day because I wanted to. Not for my health, but for the health of my family.

MissCake -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task. (9/9/2009 9:00:48 AM)
Having a master to answer to can be very effective with these things. Not 100% effective, but it seems certainly worth a try. I have a sub who smokes and her habit is mild enough that I think quitting would be quite possible. Once we are more enmeshed in one another's lives, I expect to ask her to quit. As to the OP, I suggest you look into quit smoking and diet/exercise regimen, and perhaps take her to see her doctor, and assume a coach role in trying to help her. I know of few people who smoke or with weigh problems who don't have any desire to improve - her level of desire may be a question. You must also recognize what your relationship with her is. How much of a master are you? How committed are you to go all the way? How deep is the commitment you have for one another?

Blaakmaan -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 9:14:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael This speaks of a sort of micromanagement that does not appeal to me. While I would certainly be supportive, I would not desire to take charge of every little detail. In fact, I would find it pivotal for the s-type to manage his or her own details in that regard: 'give a man a fish... vs teach a man to fish..." and such. Support and guidance, yep. Micromanagemet, no. Davan Wow! Would you really call trying to get someone to stop smoking, or to lose weight (assuming they really would benefit from it), micromanagement?

Blaakmaan -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task. (9/9/2009 9:28:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian I'm not going to share the finer details of what I have done, as I don't believe they should be freely given out to someone who lacks the imagination or resolve to come up with them on his own... Thank you for your post. It was helpful and well-stated. All except that part, which was both presumptuous and superfluous, and which I felt virtually required a reply. However, all-in-all, your post was well worth reading, and I thank you for it.

leadership527 -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 10:18:49 AM)
I've taken control of Carol's diet and drinking. This was early on in our M/s relationship and so the thought terrified her. I offered, "How about 2 months?" So she gave me control for the two months, fearing that I would fill her full of low-cal, but bad for you food and drive a diet to some ridiculously low level. In fact, I did my research very very carefully and produced a diet & exercise plan for her that was well within the basic medical guidelines. With the alchohol, I tapered her off gradually, at first, simply giving her about as much as she was pouring for herself, but from my hand. Then gradually winding that down and paying incredibly close attention to how she responded to various things... for instance, pouring her 4 glasses of wine but each one being a short-pour rather than 3 full glasses. Another thing I'm a full believer on in this case and any others... leading from the front. I generally did about double the exercise that she did, lost weight faster than her, and dealt with my own addiction (smoking), cold-turkey. The old rule of thumb works out pretty well here, never ask your followers to do something you yourself are unwilling to do.. Despite what other posters have said, it is not my experience that the submissive needs to want to fix the problems herself. All that is necessary is that her desire to obey exceeds her desire for her addiction(s). The trick, of course, is instilling that level of obedience in your sub. Consider it probably one of the most rigorous tests your likely to come across of your domly abilities :)

Musicmystery -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 10:25:40 AM)
quote: Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight? Yes. Understand, though, that first (1) you must truly have mastered her (not just order her about), (2) you have to structure this as a positive change, replacing old habits with new habits, and (3) you must be patient and allow changes to take hold slowly. From there, I agree with Jeff.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 10:28:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SassyBird People can only make positive changes in their life if they really want to do it. Not because someone tells them they have to. Like spoken from my heart.

IrishMist -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 10:28:22 AM)
quote: Despite what other posters have said, it is not my experience that the submissive needs to want to fix the problems herself. All that is necessary is that her desire to obey exceeds her desire for her addiction(s). The trick, of course, is instilling that level of obedience in your sub. Consider it probably one of the most rigorous tests your likely to come across of your domly abilities :) I partially agree, but also partially disagree. I would have to know where her desire for obedience stemmed from...and I am not talking about the standard answer of ' because I want to make my owner happy'. Addictions are not only physical reliance; they are also emotional and psychological. You can not simply order a person to stop doing something thinking that they will simply obey because well...heck, they want you to be happy. Bull shit. The person themselves have to want to stop the behavior for themselves first. There's nothing wrong with this. They should. A partner can only be there to help guide them along that journey.

DesFIP -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 10:28:52 AM)
About 20% of smokers are more addicted to it than to heroin. Could you help a heroin addict quit? Weight loss/exercise is best approached as a team sport. Both of you cut down on high calorie foods, both of you go out for a walk every day. If you don't live together, then both go out walking at the same time, talking on the phone before and after. You could both set up the same meal plan so you can commiserate on the brown rice, vegetables and tofu day and celebrate the small lean steak day. Misery loves company, remember.

Shack -> RE: How to get a sub or slave to perform a REALLY hard task, like to stop smoking or to lose weight? (9/9/2009 10:32:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan Has any Dominant/Master had any success with getting a sub/slave to perform a REALLY hard task--particularly, to stop smoking or to lose weight? [By the way, I'm talking about getting the sub/slave to do those things for her health, not to make her into a Barbie doll.] If you have had success in either or both of those areas, would you please share with me what you did, and how you did it? If you're a sub or a slave, and your Dominant/Master was able to help you to stop smoking or to lose weight, could you share what he/she did, and how he/she did it? Thanks to all who respond. I am not sure what I can contribute. My slave stopped smoking and drinking because he knew it did not please me. I did not have to order him to give up either although I was prepared to assist him with both if needed. (I would never expect this level of devotion from a submissive.)

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