MarcEsadrian
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Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
So what I want to discuss is how a female led D/s relationship differs from a male led D/s relationship. What do Ladies want out of a relationship with a male submissive/slave that is different from that of a Master with a female submissive/slave? And yes, we are talking around some generalities and so I am wondering if we can come up with some "principles" of female led D/s relationship.
That alone is quite an ambitious question, and it covers so much ground that no one could possibly sum it up in one post on a message board.
One could simply say dominance is dominance, and there is plenty of truth to that. There is a lot more in common between male and female dominance than difference; after all, good dominance, at its core, is about the psychology and being of influence, power and leadership. The "rules", so to speak, are interchangeable between male and female on many levels.
Where the sexes differ, in my opinion, lies certainly in their biology and the behavioral differences inherent. I know—in this age of gender neutrality, such a remark skirts dangerously close to building a foundation for sexism, but I would contend the differences are fairly easy to see, though perhaps minute overall, compared to the similarities between the sexes. However, one could say, for example, that dominant males tend to be more concerned with carnal matters and the conquest of them, whereas dominant females tend to take a somewhat more ambiguous—and one might argue, holistic—approach. We've all read enough threads lamenting the tired subject of, "why are dominant women so consumed with material stuff?", and the apropos rejoinder of, "why are dominant men so consumed with sex?" How we function as male and female animals making our way in the world makes some degree of difference in how we do a number of things, particularly when it comes to sexual politics, which does bump up against us quite closely here in the fetish and D/s circle (the differing principles of attraction and seduction of and by male and female, the strong male drive to mate and provide/protect resources, the female imperative to select mates and resources cautiously, etc.)
In many cases, mating behavior between the sexes is irrelevant or turned upon its head, depending upon the relational dynamic present (we know some forms of female dominance eroticize and exploit the you are unsuitable, and I would never fuck you in a million years archetype quite effectively). Same sex D/s carves an interesting hole in any established truisms, and some people just break the "mold" entirely, when one considers all the gradations of gender bending and sexual stereotype-smashing personalities involved in BDSM.
I'd still contend, based upon my own experiences, that there are a few basic patterns that are, in aggregate, supportive of a difference between males and females in how they dominate. As for what they get out of dominance, the answer (again) contains more similarity than difference, but alluding to the aforementioned points, one might find that many men want obedient sex slaves to call their own, whereas women seek labor, resources and sex; in essence, I find women tend to be more discriminative in their selections, and men tend to be more liberal.
I would add this discussion is incomplete without additionally inquiring about the differences of the whys and hows between male and female submission, as well—which will be even more revealing about forming a theory about "principles".
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Principles of a Female Led Relationship - 
) as a whole? How have attitudes changed over the past ten or fifteen years? How are the changes positive or negative as you see them? 
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RE: Principles of a Female Led Relationship - 
RE: Principles of a Female Led Relationship - 
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