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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 5:15:24 AM

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I had 2 slaves/subs..who didn't like to be corrected with words only. They stand in front of me expecting a slap in the face.
It took me a while to get used too. But yes...they did things by times..I thought about doing it, but it fellt wrong to do..
Untill I spoke with them and they say it was "o.k." and deserved. Knowing it was consensual ..in time..I felt comfy with it.
It are correctional slaps...not beating up in my case.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 5:26:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
Ha. I'm five feet tall and weigh about 130 pounds. He's 6'3" and slaps me hard in the face every time he walks in the door and says hello and every time he leaves for work. Not only does it instantly make him hard, but it also instantly makes me wet. If he were to split my lip it would just be the cherry on top and I can guarantee he'd be late for work that day. It would also satisfy his craving of drinking my blood.

Yeah, I'm so totally with ya there, Aileen. Couldn't have said it better myself (except that part about being 5 ft. nothing and 130 lbs........I wish

)................luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 5:46:11 AM

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As someone who works in a support role to people recovering from and dealing with psychotic syptoms... I can tell you that overriding-their-wishes stuff actually very seldom comes up as even when suffering delusions/voices most people have strong healthy self-instincts. That said I wouldn't be engaged in any bdsm shenanigans with anyone I didn't feel had most of the same assumptions about our immediate reality.

The mental health issues whereby people are at risk to themself are more often severe depression (and what they'll do to alleviate it), mania (where they feel untouchable) and addictions (where the cost-benifit analysis and capactiy to delay graticfication is out of whack).
I wouldn't feel comfortable playing with anyone in those head spaces. (Tho I wonder about keeping a nicoteine hooked sub from their smokes - could that negate consent?)

Aside from these concerns provided the person is basically fit to consent I still have a whole host of my own limits as a dom. However these are my limits based on what I am not into and not particular relevant to others.

I think its very sound for a dom to have their own limits (even as these things move and flow with time). After all we all can consider the possible psychological trauma of re-enacting incest for the victim but there is also a potential trauma for an unwitting dom put in the role of the perpetrator. (Which is not to say incest re-enactment is always traumatic either...just potentialy)

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 6:37:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MartinP

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Sirrah, whilst backhanding a woman for a smart mouth is not my normal style

So we have at least two brave women beater here,

It is not your "normal style" but you do it from time to time. Splitting the lips of women who put their fate in your hand and are perfectly incapable of defending themselve is OK with you.

Does it happen when you lose argument to her, had a bad day at the office, or just for the fun?

I do not backhand, or slap anybody, I leave that gameplay to chivalresque effetes like you. If I hit, it is first, if possible by surprise and with the aim of immediatly putting the other side down.

Damn that's hot!

Martin, dude, some of us really do like that kind of thing.

(in reply to MartinP)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 6:44:05 AM

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quote:

Ha. I'm five feet tall and weigh about 130 pounds. He's 6'3" and slaps me hard in the face every time he walks in the door and says hello and every time he leaves for work. Not only does it instantly make him hard, but it also instantly makes me wet. If he were to split my lip it would just be the cherry on top and I can guarantee he'd be late for work that day. It would also satisfy his craving of drinking my blood.
You really shouldn't comment on things you know nothing about. It kinda makes you look stupid.

Mmmm yummy
Dayum Aileen...

Nothing like a good hard slap/punch/kick to get the blood and juices flowing

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 7:10:14 AM

ishyB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

The funny part in all of this is my girls comment after reading what the white knight wrote:

"he reminds this girl of the men she used to wrap around her finger before she met you Master. amira had no respect for them, as they were so easily pussy whipped."

Now that gave me a good laugh.

Greetings Master Orion,

Your girl read my mind.

I wish you well,

ishy

_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoJFn_RIdkg

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 7:23:55 AM

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Too far for me personally is if it requires a vist to the E.R.(on purpose) Too far is if he takes a hard limit of mine and crosses it. Those are also deal breakers.

There are activities that I personally don't care for, things that there are no way I'd do. I don't judge those that do them, I don't harp on them that it's dangerous etc. and so forth blah blah blah. If such activities are happening at say, a party, I just walk away. My kink/needs/fetishes are mine, yours belong to you. That includes any possible repurcussions legally, morally and otherwise. But that too is subjective, what I consider moral and ethical may be totally different than someone else's.

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I have a condition...it's called uncunteditis. Ask Porcelaine for details.

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(in reply to ishyB)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 7:26:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MartinP

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Sirrah, whilst backhanding a woman for a smart mouth is not my normal style

So we have at least two brave women beater here,

It is not your "normal style" but you do it from time to time. Splitting the lips of women who put their fate in your hand and are perfectly incapable of defending themselve is OK with you.

Does it happen when you lose argument to her, had a bad day at the office, or just for the fun?

I do not backhand, or slap anybody, I leave that gameplay to chivalresque effetes like you. If I hit, it is first, if possible by surprise and with the aim of immediatly putting the other side down.

Oh Jesus. Newsflash: people in this lifestyle tend to hit each other. And that's just the start. Deal with it. In the meantime, may I suggest plentyoffish.com?

(in reply to MartinP)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 7:41:36 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

How about you can anything to the body that you. choose, provided that within a reason amount of time afterwards, it returns to the condition it was prior to starting the activity. As far as the mental games, unless you have MD in your title, that is not an area one should venture even if consent is given

Ah but see, Acer...what exactly do you mean by mental games? I love to do mind fucks...I did one several weeks ago with a partner that I know well. Of course, my mind games generally revolve around inner workings related to desires and not around abusive experiences so is that where the line is drawn? No mental games that might help someone get PAST certain episodes from their past? Is that sort of thing best left to professionals? In my world, where I've said that I am not a therapist and will not play one for my submissive, it is. But I'd be lying if I said that in talking with a submissive and learning about what is cooking within her that I did not discern that sometimes in the scenes I've done that the psychological and emotional and physical realm we delved into were not touching upon subjects that for full resolution should be dealt with by others outside our dynamic/relationship.

As others have noted, the line is arbitrary...where it is for me may not be where it is for you. Nor is that line fullly formed or colored in. I can think of several things that were on that line that have since been removed and I can think of other things that were added to that line after experiencing them.

(in reply to Acer49)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 7:58:04 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MartinP

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

but a split lip from a backhand because of a smart mouth is rather minor. Then again I am part of that group that people call extreme, abuser, sociopath, etc.. My girl just smiles when that kind of stuff comes up.

Orion,

I personally call a man who slap in the face a woman half his age and a third of his weight a petty coward who would not even think of doing the same to man of his size.

"Your property thriving"? What a joke! the poor girl on the picture is looking anorexic. Are you not making enough money for two or do you have to starve her into submission?

Great...another white knight, this time one who envisions himself as a martial artist, judging by the avatar...

Martin, as has been stated endlessly on these threads, this lifestyle encompasses all sorts of behaviors that the rest of society finds wayyyyyyyyyyyyy off-skew. Hell, even within the "community", there are those who view what others do with...at the very least...befuddlement. And even within the "community", there are those who feel that others go too far...hell, I know that there are examples of behavior that I consider too far gone (for the sake of not hijacking this thread, I am not going there). But I have to wonder about those within the "community" who look at someone using a term that many do---property---and derides that premise, then takes something that many consider minor in comparison to other things that a couple does that works for them---backhanding hard enough to split a lip---and derides it. What I wonder about is this...what is your specific problem with it? Is it where you draw the line? Fine for you then but if you have been involved in this "community" for any length of time, you know that your line is not theirs and that does not necessarily make yours better. You've heard the response of Orion's girl to your "defense" of her so that should give you some indication that some people enjoy it and/or accept it as part of THEIR dynamic.

(in reply to MartinP)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 8:00:43 AM

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Where do I " personally draw the line" ? It's a simple place for me : the line is where my pretty one has negotiated limits with me. Or, it can be argued that that's where she draws the line.

I followed the TPE thread, too- it was like it had power over me and I couldn't stop myself. lolol!! It actually seems to be slowing down as of this morning, but who knows? We live D/s 24/7 and we grow as we go along, sometimes in baby steps andsometimes in bigger steps , but we haven't gone TPE yet. We talk about it now and then, and we agree that we may be heading there, but, today, I'm satisfied with what I call another TPE for the time being : true power exchange.

Her limits are few regarding BDSM, and even the majority of them weren't " hard" as over time I've carefully and slowly pushed afew of them, to our mutual satisfaction. It's funny ina way - I topped for almost 4 decades before coming into the "lifestyle" about 3 years ago, and I was way rougher with my women then than I am now. But of course it, I, was all about kink then(a seperate topic). 2 reasons that I've accepted this - a) she scares easier than my past partners. I've never projected or wanted to project an atmosphere of fear in my relationships, but some things which were mainstay's in my life and readily not only accepted but desired by partners in the past aren't healthy for her and if I wanted her for more than a casual thing I had to make some choices.And again, it was all about sex then, for both me an my partners. I've set some things aside but have gained what I started seeking 3 years back - true PE, and, b) the second reason is much more mundane and much less philisophical : she'd be more open to exploring some- not all, but some - of those things herself but she can't physically endure some of it. I struggled with it for some time, as I was used to pushing some envelopes but if she physically can't contort to some of the bondage or take some of the manhandling which I enjoy then that's simply "the line" I won't cross. But, as I said, I'm not just topping(not that there's anything wrong with topping if that's all one wants) now, and I'm getting more in the big picture. And as for my pretty one, she's very self aware. Her submission is has been well and long thought out - a lifestyle choice which she didn't lightly enter, and she knows what she can and can't taketherefore has her "lines". Which is pretty healthy in my mind, and the way I want it.......

I know the op was talking physical stuff but I'm going to elaborate just a bit on the other lines, non BDSM. They're becoming almost non existent, as I oversee virtually every aspect of her life. How she budgets her finances, her attire, her diet, etc. I'm far from hands off with her kids, and that's only because she has come to trust me in that area of her life, but she makes final decisions there. I also don't interfere in her work- she needs to vent about it and she asks for advice, but she has to make final decisions as ti the content of her work. And I don't bother her there, she needs to be focused once she walks in the door. But,she's expected to call me on her breaks and she doesn't accept overtime or changes to her schedule without firstchecking with me. The non BDSM lines are fading and getting harder to even see........

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 8:04:04 AM

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As others have noted, the line is arbitrary...where it is for me may not be where it is for you. Nor is that line fullly formed or colored in. I can think of several things that were on that line that have since been removed and I can think of other things that were added to that line after experiencing them. (CreativeDominant)

I think this is what so fascinates me about mental limits. With physical limits it's easier to draw lines in the sand. You can see a broken bone, a trip to the er, and know that you've crossed a line (or not as the case may be). Mental damage is so much harder to assess, especially when you are on the outside looking in.

I, for instance, love certain forms of humiliation. Reducing me to a sobbing, begging mess is actually good for me. The psychology of why that is, is rather complex and not something I'm going to share here. I can say it is healing and cathartic in a way someone from the outside looking in would have no idea of, unless they knew me very well.

Some actions, such as the face slapping mentioned earlier, really operate on more than one level. Face slapping is very personal. To me, it's physical and mental. And clearly not everyone's cup of tea.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 8:32:38 AM

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Hey now, SimplyIsaac - I'm familiar with that site. yes, it's by and large and primarilly a vanilla dating site. But, if you search carefully you'd be suprised as to what you'll find. Type words such as bondage, BDSM , submission, even D/s into the interest search list and you'll find some like-minded folks there. The percentage is small, to be sure,and they may not ne in you're geographic area but they're there, on both sides of the slash and not hiding. I also remember seeing some taken in hand people who were seeking. Also, of the women with whom I had contact and in whom I shared my more collarme type interests when I was active there none of them were shocked or put off when I broached the subject of more collarme type things, and a couple even brought it up first. They, like me at that time, had been around the block but weren't comfortable openly putting stuff like that in their profiles. Even around here there's a good percentage of profiles where they clearly state don't start talking to me about kink or sex until we first establish some other common ground. It's been awhile since I did any perusing over there, but if my memory serves me well if you look even more carefully you may see at least a couple familiar faces. In some ways it's a lot like this site only much tamer- it's free, has a lot of members many of whom aren't actually looking for a partner, it's user friendly, and has interesting forums......

(in reply to abuddingdom)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 8:44:21 AM

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Re: faceslapping. I find it to be like breathplay. An inherently dangerous activity that cannot be made perfectly safe. I love breathplay but we don't do it because there is always the risk of cardiac arrest. You can do it a hundred times with no problem but that doesn't mean the 101st time she won't die.

Face slapping to me carries the same risk. Not of death, but of permanent hearing loss and blindness. All that needs to go wrong is for her to turn her head a little bit, him to not be in perfect position and the orbital socket could break which is not always repairable. Detached retinas are not always retachable.

And death; permanent hearing loss; blindness are not damages which can be undone in timely manner or at all.

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to abuddingdom)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 9:12:58 AM

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Fast reply after sort of read through.

I have two standards that I go by. My own moral and ethical code (no harm) and because of My boy's particular situation, I also follow that lovely little guideline set up by Mistress Military. The easiest way to put that is that I can't damage him to the point where it would prevent him from interfering with his being to work and doing his job. So, while I could break his arm, it would probably cause problems in his carreer, meaning I don't. In My opinion, harm doesn't come in just the physical, mental, emotional variety. There are also things such as financial or legal harm, such as job loss or arrest for criminal activity.

As for some of the back and forth in the thread, I'll put it this way. Just because I have the power to do something, doesn't mean that I have to exercise that power. I don't have to take every action that I can possibly think of just to prove I have the power to do it.

The complaints about the face slapping thing were a joke. Does the writer of the comments even understand how many people get off on that, male and female alike? One of My past boys used to see that as the best damn foreplay on the planet. Even better if he hadn't done anything to warrant it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to abuddingdom)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 9:15:04 AM

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Most risks occure..with me..if we are just playing.
Sometimes a female friend just wants to fight..and doesn't stop. I warned her...playfully...and just did as I wanted to punch her..she steps forward...and I give her a black eye.

( she wanted to fight because I call her dwarf)

This was just 2 friends playing..non-bdsm related. But I guess I did more harm to her then I ever did to a slave. Ok..well.. different harm.

But agree...don't underestimate the force and the impact of repeating blows to the head. ( or other body parts).

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 9:16:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

If you would have asked me about this several years ago, I would have answered totally differently. Now, my opinion is such that if whatever it is, only involves consenting adult humans........I don't care. They can do whatever the hell they want to do.

I have realized that I cannot save people from their own stupidity. Now, I just roll my eyes, shake my head, and figure it has something to do with that law of natural selection.

As for me and mine..........Orion already gave an opinion that fits mine.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/7/2009 9:18:03 AM >

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to daintydimples)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 11:13:12 AM

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Here is a perfect example of two incidents that are caused by extremely stupid people......the first, definitely a case of intervene to me.

The second, me rolling my eyes and laughing........(and wishing that someone that stupid would have just gone all the way and hopped right on in there)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_odd_child_in_box

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/us_tiger

Neither is certainly BDSM related, but still..........stupid people doing dangerous and stupid things.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 12:05:25 PM

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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lol.....that is beyond stupid

thank you for sharing...makes one feel sane...

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/7/2009 12:10:43 PM

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
The issue is, how far is too far?

I don't dig chasing pidgeons or fun.
I do find groovy a knife up my cunt.

the.dark.
(.hasthefeelinganotherconsenthreadisonthehorizon.)

This is Darcy

They don't call me Mack for nothin'

lols ... love you both ... though now I do have most of a mouthful of tea across my monitor

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to RCdc)

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