RE: Raped Mistress?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Raped Mistress?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Raped Mistress?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 6 [7]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Raped Mistress? - 10/19/2009 9:50:23 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Eh, difficult to s with just the information given.
I agree with those who have said violation but rape mabe a bit harsh.
Having been in a situation that went wild awry once and feeling rather ickey afterward, I can feel for someone having those thoughts and feelings about a scenaio but I also have to say that personal responsibility factors heavily, imo.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MistressSoliel)

Profile

Post #: 121

RE: Raped Mistress? - 10/19/2009 9:50:55 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

You are right about priapism, but some sickos on these boards think that is a good thing.

... I was using priapism loosely.
For myself, anytime phucking lasts more than 5-15minutes, I offer to buy them the rubber doll with the less sensitive vagina.

M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 10/19/2009 9:51:35 PM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 122

RE: Raped Mistress? - 10/19/2009 9:57:21 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Eh, difficult to s with just the information given.
I agree with those who have said violation but rape mabe a bit harsh.
Having been in a situation that went wild awry once and feeling rather ickey afterward, I can feel for someone having those thoughts and feelings about a scenaio but I also have to say that personal responsibility factors heavily, imo.
Davan

That's kind of where I am with it too based on what she has been able to divulge. If she experiences it as rape, however, then that is where she must process the experience from, a position of having been raped. That is totally a different path than dealing with a bad decision or a violation of sorts. The legal standing is less important than what she believes. What she believes how she will heal and what it will mean to move forward.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Profile

Post #: 123

RE: Raped Mistress? - 10/20/2009 8:41:27 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Loki, http://www.nsvrc.org/publications/articles/false-reports-moving-beyond-issue-successfully-investigate-and-prosecute-non-s indicates the percentage of false reports is between 2-8%, with the FBI's estimate at 8%. However, those include ones where the woman simply waited a few days to report the crime, or didn't seem sufficiently distraught in the officer's subjective opinion. One woman *was* jailed and charged with false report of a rape, as well as theft, and receiving stolen property when she was attacked at gunpoint while working at a convenience store. She was held without trial for over a year, and a month before the trial date, her attacker was caught in the act of raping a different woman. She was released, and sued the police. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09093/960350-100.stm If a woman does falsely accuse someone, that is of course wrong as well, but there are far more women who are actually raped and who do not report it. As to the one-night-stand scenario you mention, if a guy wants to fuck someone he doesn't know, he's at a small but non-zero risk of getting HIV, being accused of rape, not being informed if she gets pregnant, and so forth. She's at risk of getting pregnant, getting an STD, or him doing things she didn't agree to, whether or not it crosses the line into rape. Sex with a stranger is inherently riskier than with someone you know and have developed trust for, although that isn't a panacea either.

Daven, if you didn't tell him "no," then it sounds like it didn't cross the line into rape. In this situation, it did.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 10/20/2009 8:42:53 AM >

(in reply to lovingpet)

Profile

Post #: 124

RE: Raped Mistress? - 10/20/2009 7:19:49 PM

bealigerent

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/26/2009
Status: offline

It seems to me (who also has counseling experience)that this lady was raped, no consent given.

(in reply to NovelApproach)

Profile

Post #: 125

RE: Raped Mistress? - 10/21/2009 7:07:36 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I'm going to be crunchingly straightforward about this, because I think the occasion demands it.

Firstly, she feels as though she's been violated, so that's the only 'truth' that's relevant. What lawyers think, and the legal system in general thinks, is irrelevant. Screw them. A lawyer's job is one thing, a friend's job is something else.

ShaktiSama said, earlier, that it might be difficult to empathise with a woman who's been raped because to do so would be so painful. Quite so - I'm sure that's true. However, that comment reminded me of a distinction I once heard: that empathising means feeling *with* a person; while sympathising means feeling *for* a person. My brother, an ambulance paramedic, was taught something like that that from the outset: You *do not* go with the patient's feelings - you *feel for them*. You're 'soft' enough to care, but you stay hard enough to care *effectively*.

So, it's sympathising that's important here. I'd like to think that in the situation you're in, I could put all considerations of the 'objective truth' of what happened to one side, and just work with that one 'truth' of the way she feels. Don't let it hurt me - be hard enough not to let that happen - but listen, amplify, take the journey alongside of her - sympathise.

But I'm male. I'm therefore a) unlikely ever to be raped and b) quite easily able to compartmentalise my feelings. Easier said than done for a woman who's in your position, I have no doubt.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to lovingpet)

Profile

Post #: 126