RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie?

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 4:43:47 AM

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Most people do not have a defined code of ethics. Most just have a vague sense of right and wrong, which they often make subjective to their ego, and immediate gratification. This is why you will find many people that justify their actions, and that are hypocritical. This has nothing to do with being a Master (though my definition of a Master is very loose and I do not see it as a title, and do not put much stock in titles), it has everything to do with human behavior.

Each person will have different reasons for lying, and the biggest reason I have seen is that it is easier to be deceptive to gain things, or avoid unpleasant confrontations.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 4:46:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

That may be true for you, but personally I expect everyone to be honest. Now I am realistic enough to know that not everyone I interact with will be honest, but I still expect it. I don't see where it has anything to do with what side of the kneel they are on. They are people first and unfortunately some people lie.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 5:46:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

Or cover up things, and then when you have caught them, they try covering up again? I really would like to have a mans opinion on this, especially a Master.

I'm not really sure. Mine doesn't because there's no need to do so. Lying and sneaking to be able to do the things He wants to isn't necessary. He - Master, me - slave therefore He has authority to do what He chooses and doesn't have to hide it from me. I always wonder about all these supposed "masters" who operate as if they're misbehaving 10 yr. olds and worried about their "slave" finding out (instead of Mommy and Daddy). I want to say, "Hey big boy, you're supposed to be in charge here. Why can't you openly do what it is you want to do?" I've still never figured it out, Muirren. Good luck trying

luci

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 6:18:00 AM

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It isn't a "man" or "Master" thing, it is a human thing. Some people are just liars and when caught they will do whatever they have to, to cover their asses. Just because someone uses the title of Master, does not mean they are above lying, cheating etc. They are human beings and are flawed, just like the rest of the world.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 6:25:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren
littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

If you honestly believe that then yes, they are lying to you because you have "gullible" tattooed on your forehead. There is no mythical level of "Master" that people attain. They are just people and sometimes people are less than truthful. I actually prefer submissives of a high standard and ethical foundation but they have those qualities because of the people that they are, not because they are submissives.

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(in reply to Muirren)

RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 6:25:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

Muirren, I do not know who told you this or where you may have read it, but this simply is not true for ALL Masters/Mistresses. I never lie to my sub, because I believe it destroys the foundation of truth upon which a relationship should be built. However there are others out there that believe they can do whatever they want as far as their sub/slave goes simply because they are the D of the relationship.

You can hold a person to a higher standard but that does not mean that they will live by it.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Muirren)

RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 6:32:40 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

Woooaahh!!! Wow!
No wonder you've been lied to twice then if that's what you believe!
Stop believing that crap and treat them like any other human being and you'll stop seeing things through rose colored glasses.

(in reply to Muirren)

RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 7:16:43 AM

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There is no secret organization that will pull their dom card if they don't adhere to your standard of ethics. There is no universal standard of ethics. Instead of assuming they are perfect people because they tell you to call them GrandHighPooBa, learn about them first. And only get involved when and if you feel confident that everything including your ethical standards are compatible.

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 7:19:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There is no secret organization that will pull their dom card if they don't adhere to your standard of ethics.

Bang goes my brilliant idea for a great new revenue earner

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 7:28:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

As others have said, it's YOU who is holding them to this higher standard, not the "rule book," not the "community." People are people. Now everyone keeps pointing out that you should wait to get involved until you know the person well enough. I know that often it is during this "getting to know you" phase that the lies come out. Doesn't matter when it happens though, does it? You got your hopes up only to have them crash down.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter what anyone says about "master can do what he wants because he is master," if that isn't the kind of relationship YOU want, then you don't accept that logic. I'm sure for some people, it works just fine and dandy, for others (seems like the majority), they are still looking for a relationship, and as such have every right to seek someone who meets their expectations, regardless of their self proclaimed position in life.

Meeting and getting to know a significant other is the same no matter what your lifestyle. You have to sort through a lot of jerks before you find the right one. You hold honesty in high regard, so accept no less. If you catch someone that you were developing an interest in being dishonest, then walk away. It is your right.

(in reply to Muirren)

RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 8:16:57 AM

Wantstocontrolu

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One simple word "Insecurity"

A Master who has the privelage of owning a slave should have a comfort/ trust level more then sufficient to tell their slave anything at all regardless of how personal or how much it will "hurt" the slave emotionally... They are slave.

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wantstocontrolu

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 8:31:23 AM

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Contradictions in terms.
I have heard a few of them in my time. Like "Military intelligence" and "female logic"

If you go in to the actual old world meaning of the word master, you will find that calling your self for master totally precludes that you actually are one. It is the head of the household and is used by solely by his subordinates to refer to him. He will only be refered to that if he really has earned his subordinates deepest respect as a good and fair employer. Until he actually gets on that piedestal he is refered to as the boss, lord of the manor and many more. It is quite an honour to be called that. Well the term has been watered down somewhat over the years as when i had servants i often heard them refer to my minor sons as Masters. That is more a term of endearment than anything else. It is quite a lift to actually hear your self refered to as master by your staff. It shows a deep respect from them for your leadership capabilities. But you never aknowledge it as such, and refering to your self as master would just be considered as an pompous asshole.
Maybe i am just too "old world" but seeing a male saying "Master seeks sub or slave" always gets me to laugh. You can only be a master if you do have a sub. Just as the term manager in the workspace requires you have something to manage

It is the sub who calls him master of her own free will. Just like our crownprince Frederik. He is not king before the day the primeminister has yelled the proclamation out to all corners of the world. (A sickening ceremony by the way)
WTF everything becoming watered down these and seem to loose values.
I heard a rumour that the prostitutes is fleeing the US of A. Well the once mighty dollar not worth a fuck any more

< Message edited by rockspider -- 11/9/2009 9:21:11 AM >

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 11:02:29 AM

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EGO

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 12:00:01 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

Woooaahh!!! Wow!
No wonder you've been lied to twice then if that's what you believe!
Stop believing that crap and treat them like any other human being and you'll stop seeing things through rose colored glasses.

Yep!

No person let alone group thinks of themselves as having any truly negative and hurtful qualities in them. Every example specifically thrown at a person is almost always justified away. Everyone is honest and everyone is trustworthy in their own mind. People that promote that they are extra this are just fooling themselves and those who buy into it have sucker written all over them.

Anyone thinking there is a higher standard for any group is gullible and trying to shed personal responsibility. The question should be asked why do you get fooled over and over? Most people do not like the answer usually given, because you want to get fooled because often it is easier at the time then to do the work to get out of life what we want.

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 12:26:02 PM

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I have not been trying to shed responsibility. I take my role seriously and so should the person I am with. Maybe it is because I was raised to believe that honesty is the best policy. I suppose most people don't have any scruples. And to attack me just because I expect someone to live up to my standards is unhinged, plain and simple.

(in reply to kccuckoldmist)

RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 12:43:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

*blink*

We may have found the answer to the dilemma.

Why would you hold a "Master" to a higher standard than others? Perhaps you are so accustomed to surrounding yourself with people of substandard codes that you can't see anything but that... ergo, insufficient standards for the Magical Master.

We get what we settle for. If you have a high standard from people you care for and for yourself, then that is what you will attract. Why will you attract that? Because asshats will not even hit your radar in a "potential relationship" kind of way.

Now, before you get upset... I have been through what you are going through. About every ten years I have to do a friendship / relationship cleaning. I find I let myself slide into "I can give and give and you don't have to share or care... I'll do enough of that for both of us." Bah. I'm in a sloughing off period. Sounds like you need to go through one. What do you expect of a "Master"? That's what you should expect from everyone.... including yourself.

I tell you this because you are not the only one... YOU are responsible for your choices. Clearly you don't make very good ones right now. Nothing changes till something changes.

And darling, this IS your first rodeo. You've evidentally been going to bull fights... or baseball games... or swim meets. Until you've had a GOOD relationship, you don't know what it looks like. Go in like you don't know a thing and watch what happens... WATCH. Don't jump in. Heck, that is just foolish, especially if you KNOW you aren't good at picking the fellows.

I believe that you may have come up with a great test of character for yourself and for the Man (whoever he is... whereever he is). What code of ethics do you live by? That is a great question. Can you answer it? I can. How do you manage when you are not at the top of your game?

And remember your standard will not look like someone else's standard. That is the beauty of individuality. I have learned that for me there are certain things a Man absolutely MUST have in order for him to be a MAN in my book. They will not necessarily be the same as yours.

Dang, I need to give classes in this stuff.
Sensei Sunshine...

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 1:01:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

Oh really? So as a switch, I am held to a different code, as a sub I'm held to another different code? Sorry but as a human...I hold myself to a personal code of ethics which permeates every aspect of who I am, whether sub, switch, family member or business person.

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 1:41:15 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

*choking on my chicken bone*

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RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 2:32:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

I meant that this is the second Master that has done this. Boy can I pick 'em!

In the end... Masters are just men, no offense intended here to the many wonderful and awesome masters of CM. But there are some good ones and some bad ones. The reasons they lie are the same as anyone else's, kinky or otherwise and regardless of what side of the whip they are on. I completely disagree with you that these men are held to some higher code of ethics. In fact, I think believing that encourages people to pull the wool over their eyes and makes them easier prey for those who do lie. My owner is quite clear that he is just a man. A strong man, a good man and an honest man but he is simply a man who happens to also own me because of what he is and what he knows he isn't.

No one is attacking you but the simple fact is that masters are not required to live up to some mystical higher code of ethics. The one you choose as yours should live up to your code and you to his, but that doesn't make these codes higher. Simply the morals and ethics that make you compatible. Expecting all anyone to live up to these is setting yourself up for disappointment and makes it very easy for people to deceive you. Expect little and fall for the one who shows they are what you want.

Some people are going to be lucky and kiss the right frog first time around. Some people, like me, around going to go through a whole lot. Just smile, try to learn something from the experience and move on. Best of luck.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/9/2009 2:48:03 PM >

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(in reply to Muirren)

RE: Why do some Masters feel that they have to lie? - 11/9/2009 2:39:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

littlewonder, I ask because Masters are held to a higher standard and live by a code of ethics.

there's your problem, right there.

for many, "Master" is merely an honorific they affix to themselves without one thought to "higher standards" or living by a particular code of ethics.

(in reply to Muirren)

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