sophiesback
Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009 From: Illinois Status: offline
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I admit I am holding a grenade in my hand, waiting for it to explode. I admit it's not quite that drastic, but for the faint of heart or the uber Master/Mistress or slave/sub...don't read any further. I admit I sent THIS email this morning... i'm NOT fucking stupid, no matter how many times and ways you try to sell it to me. You have not kept any promises to me, NONE. You've been mean, rude, spiteful, hurtful, and downright cruel. You have withdrawn any and all forms of reassurance, comfort and affection. But you stood in here and spouted off to me bullshit about how you've tried so hard and everything always has to be my way and you've bent over backwards to do stuff for me. WHEN did i get my way? I have spent 6 months begging and pleading to get my way on just one thing, just one, anything, just actually fucking say yes to me and follow through when i ask for something. has it fucking happened? NEVER! It's always YOUR way, It's always that you IGNORE me until you're ready to talk and then it's shitty. IF you DO say you'll do something you making 100000 excuses until it comes down to me flipping the fuck out then you finally give in and talk to me, maybe even see me but it's never what it was supposed to be, it's never the full promise. And you getting all shitty about me not ASKING you about things? I HAVE asked you REPEATEDLY to tell me what's going on. I remember a few emails in January when we were supposed to talk then, with all kinds of questions that you were supposed to answer when you spent the night, which never fucking happened. I remember numerous texts asking questions and none of them being answered. i have asked you 90000000 times why you did what you did to me at christmas and STILL haven't gotten an answer on that. And besides, I shouldve never had to ask. You promised to tell me. And for you to seriously sit there in your car friday night when i caught you cheating on me and get all shitty with me because i dont trust you.......are you fucking kidding me??? I cannot believe you had the audacity to say something so ridiculous! So this is what it comes down to. I'm not playing anymore games with you.....you have 2 options. YES i AM in a position to make these options for you because you know what????? the more I think about all the fucked up bullshit you've done to me the more pissed off i get and the more I realize that I am NOT taking the blame for it. The only thing I am guilty of is 1. wanting your atttention 2. loving you. I did not make you cheat, nor did I accuse you of cheating like you claim I did. And I sure as FUCK didnt deserve to be cheated on. Here's your choices: 1. You admit the last 6 months of hell you put me through was all just a fucking game to you to see how bad i'd let you hurt me, to see how badly you could destroy me, to boost your own ego that someone could love you so much. You walk away and You never ever ever fucking look back. You change your phone number. You drive on by if you see my car somewhere. You turn around and walk the other direction if you see me. You never speak my name. Never look for me. Never ask about me. You walk away knowing this bridge is burned FOREVER. 2. You prove it was/is real. You give me back what we had last summer and more. You text me first, visit, spend the night. You be honest with me about everything. You let me in your life and be there for me when I need you like you used to be. You stop making excuses and give me back the love and comfort I deserve. You take me OUT. You prove you're not ashamed of me. You admit to your buddy i was blowing up your phone because you were being a prick, not because i'm that big a cunt. You spend so much time with/talking to me again there's no possible way I can doubt that you're being faithful. You rebuild my trust in you so that I can let go a little. You actually see and stay with your kids at least 3 nights a week. You stay with me at least one night a week and you visit at least one night a week. You be the boyfriend you promised to be to me and be the father you claim to be to those kids and stop using them. And You swear on your kids that you WILL focus on them, work/military, and rebuilding us to what we were supposed to be. I'm not saying you can't go out with your friends/brother and stuff. That's fine and I have no problem with that, but I'm tired of being told you don't have time for me when I know damn welll you DO and I'm tired of hearing you're spending so much time with your kids and knowing you're not. Answer by 5pm Saturday. If you don't wanna talk to me until you have the answer, that's fine. If you want to talk about it, that's fine too. I am DONE with the games and bullshit. Period. I cant take anymore. I love you. I HATE not being able to trust you. I HATE questioning whether any of this has been real on your part. I HAVE to know. Don't think you can let 5pm Saturday come and go without an answer and I'll forget about it.... And, yes, I know you agreed to see me on Monday to talk, but given your track record since October why would I hold my breath on that? I want the answer NOW actually...but I'm willing to give you today and tomorrow. I'm only making you meet me in the middle on giving me an answer. I'm not demanding you see me on Saturday. That doesn't mean you get out of seeing me Monday if you go with option 2. Obviously, we very much need to talk.
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CM's Resident Goof 30 Fluffy points
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