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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 7:11:52 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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i admit to sending all good and best wishes to and for Lady Pact, MP & family.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 7:24:00 AM

GreedyTop

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I admit that Cashew is a darling..mostly.

I admit that today, Amos is in a playful mood, and Cashie is being a shit, not letting AMos play unimpeded.
I admit that each time I engage Amos in play, Cashie interrupts..

I admit that part of me wants to toss him in the bathroom and seclude him until Amos and I are doen playing.

I admit that I DONT do this because I dont want him to feel punished for being playful.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 7:52:17 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

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I admit it I have been in a similar position to Mr Pact's with my own mother.

I admit it my sister wasn't really on the same page with my father & me, but she went along with everything.

I admit it my heart goes out to both of you, LP.

I admit it we knew when my mother needed to go & I am sure that MP will know also, if that's the case.

I admit it you have my prayers.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 8:24:45 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Ebay is the devil!! I have the whole stair landing coverd in grab bag yarn from dbny.com.

I admit I have to agree

I admit they have their demons in there which then send out to you when you are on their page, making your fingers moved and press the order and confirm button

I admit I bought yesterday 2 and today 6 balls of wool from the sellers who sell the cheapest RIOT wool as that wool just rocks.

I admit I am sorry to hear about the worries within LP's family

I admit today my cats are trying to win me over to get different food than the one provided...

I admit I won't have any of that until about 11pm, then I don't mind to chuck it out, but until then thats on offer for them, either they eat it or leave it

I admit pepper, spicy and summer gave in a moment ago and ate some of it

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 8:34:58 AM

divi

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I admit I just got off the phone with my dad and he told me he hasnt smoked a cigarette in 19 days.

I admit it's fucked up because it took him being diagnosed with emphysema to quit.

I admit it's even more fucked up that he didnt quit when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer.

I admit I feel better ranting !!

< Message edited by divi -- 3/25/2011 8:35:35 AM >

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 8:39:33 AM

MaxsBoy

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I admit my pup got very scared about his future last night, and for the first time I had to reassure him about what was going to happen.

I admit that I haven't been on this side of the kneel much, and not for a while. It feels right. I didn't expect that.

Divi, I admit I just quit smoking, myself. I further admit that I have quit a couple of other things in the past year - harder things. Quitting smoking was by far the most difficult of all of the chemical habits I have laid to rest. Don't be too hard on him, and give him your support. I understand your frustration, but when you're addicted you might really want to quit, and still not be able to.

< Message edited by MaxsBoy -- 3/25/2011 8:43:09 AM >

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 9:32:49 AM

sophiesback

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I admit I am holding a grenade in my hand, waiting for it to explode.

I admit it's not quite that drastic, but for the faint of heart or the uber Master/Mistress or slave/sub...don't read any further.

I admit I sent THIS email this morning...

i'm NOT fucking stupid, no matter how many times and ways you try to sell it to me.

You have not kept any promises to me, NONE. You've been mean, rude, spiteful, hurtful, and downright cruel. You have withdrawn any and all forms of reassurance, comfort and affection. But you stood in here and spouted off to me bullshit about how you've tried so hard and everything always has to be my way and you've bent over backwards to do stuff for me.

WHEN did i get my way? I have spent 6 months begging and pleading to get my way on just one thing, just one, anything, just actually fucking say yes to me and follow through when i ask for something. has it fucking happened? NEVER! It's always YOUR way, It's always that you IGNORE me until you're ready to talk and then it's shitty. IF you DO say you'll do something you making 100000 excuses until it comes down to me flipping the fuck out then you finally give in and talk to me, maybe even see me but it's never what it was supposed to be, it's never the full promise.

And you getting all shitty about me not ASKING you about things? I HAVE asked you REPEATEDLY to tell me what's going on. I remember a few emails in January when we were supposed to talk then, with all kinds of questions that you were supposed to answer when you spent the night, which never fucking happened. I remember numerous texts asking questions and none of them being answered. i have asked you 90000000 times why you did what you did to me at christmas and STILL haven't gotten an answer on that. And besides, I shouldve never had to ask. You promised to tell me.

And for you to seriously sit there in your car friday night when i caught you cheating on me and get all shitty with me because i dont trust you.......are you fucking kidding me??? I cannot believe you had the audacity to say something so ridiculous!

So this is what it comes down to. I'm not playing anymore games with you.....you have 2 options. YES i AM in a position to make these options for you because you know what????? the more I think about all the fucked up bullshit you've done to me the more pissed off i get and the more I realize that I am NOT taking the blame for it. The only thing I am guilty of is 1. wanting your atttention 2. loving you. I did not make you cheat, nor did I accuse you of cheating like you claim I did. And I sure as FUCK didnt deserve to be cheated on.

Here's your choices:

1. You admit the last 6 months of hell you put me through was all just a fucking game to you to see how bad i'd let you hurt me, to see how badly you could destroy me, to boost your own ego that someone could love you so much. You walk away and You never ever ever fucking look back. You change your phone number. You drive on by if you see my car somewhere. You turn around and walk the other direction if you see me. You never speak my name. Never look for me. Never ask about me. You walk away knowing this bridge is burned FOREVER.

2. You prove it was/is real. You give me back what we had last summer and more. You text me first, visit, spend the night. You be honest with me about everything. You let me in your life and be there for me when I need you like you used to be. You stop making excuses and give me back the love and comfort I deserve. You take me OUT. You prove you're not ashamed of me. You admit to your buddy i was blowing up your phone because you were being a prick, not because i'm that big a cunt. You spend so much time with/talking to me again there's no possible way I can doubt that you're being faithful. You rebuild my trust in you so that I can let go a little. You actually see and stay with your kids at least 3 nights a week. You stay with me at least one night a week and you visit at least one night a week. You be the boyfriend you promised to be to me and be the father you claim to be to those kids and stop using them. And You swear on your kids that you WILL focus on them, work/military, and rebuilding us to what we were supposed to be. I'm not saying you can't go out with your friends/brother and stuff. That's fine and I have no problem with that, but I'm tired of being told you don't have time for me when I know damn welll you DO and I'm tired of hearing you're spending so much time with your kids and knowing you're not.

Answer by 5pm Saturday. If you don't wanna talk to me until you have the answer, that's fine. If you want to talk about it, that's fine too. I am DONE with the games and bullshit. Period. I cant take anymore. I love you. I HATE not being able to trust you. I HATE questioning whether any of this has been real on your part. I HAVE to know. Don't think you can let 5pm Saturday come and go without an answer and I'll forget about it.... And, yes, I know you agreed to see me on Monday to talk, but given your track record since October why would I hold my breath on that? I want the answer NOW actually...but I'm willing to give you today and tomorrow. I'm only making you meet me in the middle on giving me an answer. I'm not demanding you see me on Saturday. That doesn't mean you get out of seeing me Monday if you go with option 2. Obviously, we very much need to talk.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:13:53 AM

ShaharThorne

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DUCK!!!

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:18:17 AM

sophiesback

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I admit I expect he'll take option 1.

I admit it's not what I want, but I can't live like this any longer.

I admit I'm sure that was "unslavelike" to most, but he's not being "Masterlike". He's not looking out for me/taking care of me like he promised to do.

I admit the phrase "Shit or get off the pot" comes to mind....

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:23:12 AM

SorceressJ

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I admit that it's about damn time, Sophie, and please do yourself the Biggest Favor Ever, and stick to those guns this time. Srsly, I mean it..

I admit that you're way more generous than I would consent to be.
I admit that I understand why you're making an effort on his part, but.. but.. yanno?

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:28:08 AM

sophiesback

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I admit 8 years of loving someone so deeply is hard to give up.

I admit finally admitting to that love and having it evolve to something so wonderful, and then destroyed by his failing to realize and follow through with the commitment he made, is devastating.

I admit he's had many many many opportunities to walk away and I can't figure out WHY he hasn't.

I admit 90% of everything I can come up with says he doesn't want to be with me, so why does he stay?

I admit THAT question seriously haunts me. WHY?

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:29:00 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

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I admit it I'm with you, Miss SJ.

I admit it I haven't always made the best choices for myself in this life.

I admit it I still hate seeing others doing the same.

I admit it I gots hugs for you Miss Sophie.

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Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:31:10 AM

sophiesback

Posts: 4039
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From: Illinois
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I admit it I'm headed to the courthouse now to face another demon.

I admit my boss's wife is an attorney and is tied up in a lengthy jury trial which leads me to believe I'm taking half a day off work for nothing - only one judge - it'll end up postponed.

I admit I'll check in later, ladies (n gents).

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:32:20 AM

SorceressJ

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I admit, because that's his flavor of supposed "Dominance".
I admit that he does you like this because he can, because he feels that its his prerogative to do so.
I admit that as long as you continue to allow it, it is very likely to continue in some variation of its present vein.
I admit that, given what little you've told me about the situation and its history, that even if he makes a show of choosing option 2, that he is no more likely to change that much and in the long run and for your sake or his own than an actual abuser will do.

I admit that we are women together, dear, and I only say any of this to you because I give a damn. Please understand that.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:33:41 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

I admit 8 years of loving someone so deeply is hard to give up.

I admit it I had to walk away from a man I've loved more than half my life because we weren't good together in a relationship.

I admit it we are very very good friends now & I like it much better that way.

I admit it we are still each other's soulmate.

I admit it we just had to change the way we tried to relate to each other.

I admit it when I finally had to walk away I was devastated & am still healing 8 years later.

I admit it was still the best decision for both of us.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:37:08 AM

sophiesback

Posts: 4039
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

I admit, because that's his flavor of supposed "Dominance".
I admit that he does you like this because he can, because he feels that its his prerogative to do so.
I admit that as long as you continue to allow it, it is very likely to continue in some variation of its present vein.
I admit that, given what little you've told me about the situation and its history, that even if he makes a show of choosing option 2, that he is no more likely to change that much and in the long run and for your sake or his own than an actual abuser will do.

I admit that we are women together, dear, and I only say any of this to you because I give a damn. Please understand that.

I admit He CAN'T, not anymore.

I admit if he chooses option 2 and fails, he'll feel my foot connecting with his ass on his way out the door.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:38:34 AM

sophiesback

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From: Illinois
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

I admit 8 years of loving someone so deeply is hard to give up.

I admit it I had to walk away from a man I've loved more than half my life because we weren't good together in a relationship.

I admit it we are very very good friends now & I like it much better that way.

I admit it we are still each other's soulmate.

I admit it we just had to change the way we tried to relate to each other.

I admit it when I finally had to walk away I was devastated & am still healing 8 years later.

I admit it was still the best decision for both of us.

I admit we can't remain friends, not if he walks away after all he's done.

I admit this makes me cry just thinking about it, but I can't.

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:42:42 AM

SorceressJ

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I admit that I would not survive having to walk away from Himself, who is my Soulmate.
I admit that I am so very glad that He is not the sort of Man who will make me have to ever do that.

I admit that Flatulent Kitteh is being flatulent near my feet.

I admit that the Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committee in my closet grows cuter by the day.

I admit that maybe this evening, I will try to get those pix I've been promising..

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:43:32 AM

MaxsBoy

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*hugs* Sophie, I'm so sorry!

I admit I have also had to walk away from someone whom I loved dearly (and still do) because he couldn't be who I needed him to be.

I admit it sucked then, and still sucks now, but that doesn't change that is was the best decision.

I admit I will pray that you will find your best decision easily, and with as little pain as possible.

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Packmate of Max

Fukin Trollop, whipping boi, and unapologetic uberslut

I can't shake this feeling in my head
There's a Devil sleeping in my bed

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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/25/2011 10:47:27 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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I admit I haz hugs for those that need them.

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