Elipsis
Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NihilusZero And, I refuse to use the word "kink" as the initial way to describe instances such as these because that too is spoken with a presumption to cheapen the act semantically by the innuendo that it is being used as some show rather than a personal interaction/expression. I think the differing views likely start with people for whom facets of WIITWD are indeed just "kink" (bedroom only, role-playing) as opposed to reflections of parts of themselves they think are important. Like the difference between a teenager who wears an obscure baseball team's cap because of support of the team and one that wears it because of the 'kewl' color scheme and logo style. I disagree with you here. I suppose it depends somewhat if you precisely define the word "kink", but if you take it to mean a non-standard or uncommon activity or interest in regards to what would commonly be considered a fetish, that's exactly what it is. I don't think that the use of the word necessitates the lack of existence of a meaningful personal interaction lying underneath the activity. It might very well be an expression of a part of themselves that they think is important, but it is still deviant and nontraditional behavior that I would think fits the definition of the word. quote:
ORIGINAL: NihilusZero Profanity kind of falls under the exemptions I discussed. Profanity is normally specifically used to insult or berate ('tis the nature of the words) and I can't imagine someone who feel that curse words as so important a part of their being that they would be used for any purpose other than to intentionally annoy or shock. I actually had a specialized use for the word "bitch" that was intended neither to insult or berate but that's an entire other topic. quote:
ORIGINAL: Elisabella No I totally agree...I think intent has a lot to do with it. And the intent isn't always obvious...because then there'd be a difference between "I like seeing my slave on a leash" and "I like being able to display my dominance" or "I like being able to make her publicly show her submission" It's definitely a complex issue. And while somehow attitude is very important to this discussion, it is necessarily irrelevant if we're going to talk about an activity and how it affects third parties. I drew a line there, but it is a line that only exists in my head. You brought up an interesting scenario that is another part of this discussion, or at least you lead my thoughts there... by mentioning the scenario of sitting on the floor of a restaurant and I tried to answer for myself if I'm okay with this as a public behavior or not. Basically, the question boils down to "Is it wrong to make other people uncomfortable?" Let's assume that, more specifically to avoid the previous stumbling block, the question is "Is it wrong to make unintentionally (and indirectly) make people uncomfortable?" The next question is "What activities make people uncomfortable?" The answer to that is "everything" if you have the right people. Then you have to change the question to "What activities make reasonable people uncomfortable?" Then you have to define "reasonable" Two gay guys holding hands in a mall might make a lot of people uncomfortable, but I would advise those gay guys to tell those people to fuck off and I would in that instance not respect other people's uncomfortableness. When is public display of affection inappropriate? Always? Never? Do you have the right to make out with your girlfriend in a movie theater if it is upsetting the old people three rows behind you? Are they out of line and should be minding their own business, or should you respect them? Unfortunately the answers to these questions are too personal and subjective to clearly derive. When should other people mind their own business and be respectful of your unusual BDSM relationship... versus when should you be respectful of those other people and put aside some tenants of that relationship in order to function in society without causing (unreasonable?) discomfort? Even worse, these questions are regional (gay PDA in the north versus south), cultural (America versus somewhere like Japan), generational, and other things that end in *al that I haven't even thought of yet. Once again... I'm generating questions than answers on this subject. :(
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