RE: "submissive" behavior in children

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: "submissive" behavior in children

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: "submissive" behavior in children

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/10/2009 8:57:18 PM

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I was also one of the people trying to figure out how "handcuffs" = "submissive".

Cali

Yeah, I'm the OP, and now, a few days later, I'm not sure how/why I made that connection. Hmmm.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/11/2009 4:42:14 AM

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline

i'm submissive, masochist and like bondage

and the only episode i can remenber was when someone bought a set of police toy, had plastic handcuffs

and remenber that one time my brother cuffed me and with a scarff he blindfold me, he was the police i was the thief

but that was it, the rest i only can remenber my prweference for movies were someone was suffering or tied up

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/11/2009 9:32:42 AM

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

Kids will play with anything they get hands on. Many times also see things and make them up themself. That this on ocasion becomes stuff used in BDSM is more coincidence than actual signs of a particular behaviour. It is when something begins to establish a pattern that you need to asses what it is and act accordingly. It really is the old story of keeping your finger in the pie to be a good parent.

(in reply to Acer49)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/11/2009 10:50:06 AM

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

Not really sure if this qualifies, but....

When I was in high school, I was crushing really hard on a friend. We hung out, etc, and one night I was hanging out at her house. For some reason we started play wrestling, and she ended up on top with my hands pinned to the floor. We recently ran into each other on Myspace, and started talking again. She brought that up a few weeks back, and mentioned that I had a look in my eyes that gave her the chills.

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to rockspider)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/11/2009 11:22:48 AM

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I was also one of the people trying to figure out how "handcuffs" = "submissive".

Cali

Yeah, I'm the OP, and now, a few days later, I'm not sure how/why I made that connection. Hmmm.

OK, I got my original train of thought back and can explain the connection. For me, handcuffs represent giving up control completely and letting someone else have it . . . which to me, is what submissive behavior is all about. So there's the connection. Does that make sense?

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/11/2009 11:34:32 AM

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

As early as 5 years old, I remember playing cowboys and Indians, doctor/patient, pirates/ladies, etc. and I always manipulated it so that I was the one tied up, examined, etc. I had NO clue why this felt good, only that it did. I even remember Bugs Bunny cartoons and when he tied someone up and boiled them in water, I thought that was interesting. (exclaimer: I have no interest in being boiled in water, just an illustration of the discusson at hand), I had a normal childhood, great family, etc.

Was this behavior submissive? Or just a precursor to what I finally discovered in puberty and after reading..that what I felt was intricately connected to my sexuality.

I firmly believe that you discover your sexuality when you are a child; not that you practice it, but the seeds are there to create the adult you become.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/11/2009 11:35:39 AM >

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/11/2009 12:48:41 PM

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rockspider

Kids will play with anything they get hands on. Many times also see things and make them up themself. That this on ocasion becomes stuff used in BDSM is more coincidence than actual signs of a particular behaviour. It is when something begins to establish a pattern that you need to asses what it is and act accordingly. It really is the old story of keeping your finger in the pie to be a good parent.

This is absolutely true! I would say most kids play with things that could bend in any number of kinky directions, but usually amounts to nothing at all. It is the pattern I look for and have observed at least with one of my children. It is actually a little harder to look back on my own childhood for such patterns and even harder to determine how I was feeling about those things at the time or if it was just some fun games we played.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to rockspider)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/18/2009 9:37:21 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 9/17/2009
Status: offline

I loved being led about on a leash and I chased after tennis balls and I loved playing puppies and kitties and acting like animals... Guess what? I love puppyplay!

I loved being tid up - Guess what? I love bondage!

I didn't mind having my bum smacked when I was a kid - Pain slut!

I hated displeasing and being punished - aim to please - what am I? A slavegirl

Here's the kicker
My parents werent into BDSM or anything! utter Vanilla's! Hahahaha!

(in reply to Acer49)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/19/2009 5:14:49 AM

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akirauke

I loved being led about on a leash and I chased after tennis balls and I loved playing puppies and kitties and acting like animals... Guess what? I love puppyplay!

I loved being tid up - Guess what? I love bondage!

I didn't mind having my bum smacked when I was a kid - Pain slut!

I hated displeasing and being punished - aim to please - what am I? A slavegirl

Here's the kicker
My parents werent into BDSM or anything! utter Vanilla's! Hahahaha!

My eldest son did all the things you did but he's not submissive or dominant or switch.
I think advertizing that you liked having your bum smacked as a kid is bad form. What are you trying to say here?

All of what you did as a kid is not relevant to an adult site.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to akirauke)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/19/2009 5:23:39 AM

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

i think i was about 7 when stuff started to seem appealing to me. but i also started writing stories then, riding ponies and pretending to be a fairy princess, getting independent and thinking i was a mermaid when we went to the beach.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/19/2009 8:06:12 AM

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

people try so hard to use psychological mumbo-jumbo and other things to define why they are the way they are as adults; face it, it's a load of crap! i could rationalize till the cows come home why i should be a professional victim and how fucked up i should be because of things that happened in my life while as a child, but guess what? i'm not a professional victim and i'm not fucked up because as adults we make the choice to be whatever it is that we are...

and while as a child i loved to be tied, cuffed, etc., it has nothing to do with me being submissive; i could very easily be a dominant and am in my daily life, but when it comes to really letting go, and being exactly who i am, i choose to be submissive.

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/19/2009 8:23:35 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

ive always thought our sexuality was hardwired into us and cant be changed, ie there is no cure for being a pervert short of a frontal lobotomy

(in reply to MargueriteV)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/19/2009 2:31:24 PM

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline

Interesting question-

I am a submissive. My daughter is definately not showing signs in that direction. She is going quite the opposite direction. No, she isn't handcuffing anybody else or anything. At least not that I know of but I think that she will be the dominant one in her future relationships.

GREAT topic for discussion. Thank you!

kim

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/20/2009 4:57:59 PM

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I am pretty sure my little niece is a born sadistic domme. I am going to have to keep my eye on that one.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to yellowroses)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/21/2009 3:54:39 PM

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

A few weeks ago, my 7-year old daughter gleefully told me about a boy on the bus putting her in handcuffs and how much fun it was. Today, I went into her room and she looked like she was hiding something behind her back and she had a sly grin on her face; when I made her turn around, I saw that she had made little handcuffs out of ribbon and had them around her wrists. I just smiled and left her alone.

When I was her age, I was always coming up with games to play with my friends that would involve me being tied up.

Did you exhibit what you now see as “submissive” behavior as a child? If you have kids, do you see them doing it? Do you see any danger in allowing kids to play like this?

Yes I do notice my daughter doing this!!! And I've been scared to death to say it to anyone! Her father just looks at me and said is submissive behavior hereditary, if it is then you passed it to her. Mine loves to be spanked and says to me the other day to spank her because it feels good. I didn't know what to say or do. How do you handle this?!! LOL!
Edited to add that this is one of my fetishes, the spanking and I like it for the reasons she said she likes it..hence my husband saying is this hereditary?

I think the shock for all of us here is that we all associate BDSM , even though we're a part of it, as being different from the norm. This proves my theory that kink is just another norm, we are not special and unique snowflakes here. So we're taken aback when children exhibit these traits. I can't say I know what to do with my little one but I tried very hard to not react in either fashion good or bad, just tickled her and changed the subject. I figure I got about 2 more years before that tactic stops working. Hopefully by then I'll have learned a way to deal with this topic in reference to her. I think that children should be taught about sex at a young age but be given only the basics, the rest perhaps should be saved for times when they are older. So we have LESS folks thinking they have to hide in the closet for being into Kink, or gay or being in love with inanimate objects. Ah the future...can't wait to see.

< Message edited by MMagic -- 12/21/2009 4:05:15 PM >

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to lucylucy)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/21/2009 4:04:09 PM

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...Mine loves to be spanked and says to me the other day to spank her because it feels good. I didn't know what to say or do. How do you handle this?!! LOL!...

um...use another form of punishment, perhaps?

(in reply to MMagic)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/21/2009 4:12:36 PM

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...Mine loves to be spanked and says to me the other day to spank her because it feels good. I didn't know what to say or do. How do you handle this?!! LOL!...

um...use another form of punishment, perhaps?

LOL she doesn't get spankings often, she's very cerebral, like me so I tend to go that route when punishing her. Means I have to get REAL creative but it works. That is why the spanking thing took me aback and the obvious reasons of course.

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/21/2009 4:25:23 PM

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Edited to add that this is one of my fetishes, the spanking and I like it for the reasons she said she likes it..hence my husband saying is this hereditary?

this slave doesn't equate receiving pleasurable sensations from something that for most others is painful as submission. masochism, perhaps, but submission, not so much.
it can be extremely confusing and difficult to rationalize one's masochism at an early age.

(in reply to MMagic)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/21/2009 4:31:26 PM

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Everytime I see these types of discussions I think I'm the only one who has never once had such fantasies or inclinations as a kid.

I distinctly remember wanting for some strange reason to kneel before a girl and offer to be hers. I was about seven. It's only grown from there.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: "submissive" behavior in children - 12/21/2009 4:38:20 PM

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

As a child yes, with 4 boys all very close in age and 1 sister much younger, not to mention all the neighborhood kids (boys/girls) as well....of course we played cowboys/indians all the time, doctor/nurse, good guy/bad guy.....we had built a neighborhood "fort" so to speak in the woods for some privacy even from adults.

I always was a bad guy, always was getting tied up, always the indian, always the patient. those of us that were tied up, were always tied up nude no matter what games we were playing.....playing doctor/nurse as a patient was laying on a bench, nude, all tied up, best looking girl in neighborhood "examining" me while all the others looked on. the examination consisted of a very large amount of what we now know as CBT.....and I loved every minute of it even with the audience of the other neighbor kids and brothers.

(in reply to MMagic)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: "submissive" behavior in children

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.150