tsatske
Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
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I know what your saying, Dark Journey, but let's face it, from a fetish perspective, sometimes, for some of us, rules are fun.
having to memorize rules and having rules to guide our day and our interactions, ect. It all depends on where your kink lies.
Just don't lose logic on the way. Remeber that in a well devoloped dynamic, if you use punishment at all, it will go to her heart. Even if you don't, knowing she has disappointed you will do the same thing, which is why so many Doms here forgo punishment all together. Do not punish her for the things we are talking about - the times when the rules failed, or you did, or logic did, not her. Re-evaluate, instead. Does the rule need to be changed, or dropped? Or is it a good rule that you both enjoy, that has an occasional failure of the rule that needs to be overlooked?
I see responses from quoting the only person on these boards that I have taken the trouble to block, and I have to say, the idea of punishing when someone can't manage something, rather the failure is 'physical' or not, is plain silly. What you will get is a sub who protects herself by learning not to take your punishments to heart, since there is nothing she can do to avoid them, and you will be left with funishment when you were going for punishment.
the only rule we can give you is communication, and a lot of it. but do start experiementing with some things that make you feel your dynamic. No one can tell you what that is for you, what that is for her - even you and she can't tell, yet, so you're going to have to experiment with some things.
If you live together, maybe start with a small and simply morning routine, and tweak it till it pleases you both, something simple like getting you coffee and being kneeling by the bedside with it when your alarm goes off. Or waking you the 'right way' ;). (That's a good example of where you might need to experiement and tweek. You might think it a great idea to tell her you must wake up every morning with your cock in her mouth, but when she tries, the two of you suddenly discover that sometimes you sleep on your stomach or your side, and you never noticed that before. ) try differant things till you find what works for you.
Try and find some rituals which are small, simple, quick and invisible, which can be preformed in public, which reinforce your dynamic and your feelings for one another. like having her hold your hand in a certain way when you are out in public, maybe holding her hand in yours behind her back?
Even the simplest things can become rituals, like never going through a door when you are together till you open it for her, waiting till you pull out her chair in a resteraunt, her always driving (chafuering), her never driving when your together no matter which car you are in (in which case, if you don't live together, you could have a ritual of her handing you the keys when she walks through the door). Her always pumping the gas, and carrying the bags, because she is the slave - or you always pumping the gas and carrying the bags, because you are the man.
experiment till you find what resonates with you. Talk about it, change it till you are happy with it. Then, in a few years, when you are suddenly not happy with one of them, change it again. This is a fun lifestyle :)
< Message edited by tsatske -- 12/27/2009 7:56:46 PM >
_____________________________
“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote
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RE: Rule Suggestions - 
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