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I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one - 1/3/2010 7:10:18 AM

osf

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I'm curious, all the female submissives say the want one but what do they think a dom is?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:35:51 AM

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From: in servitude
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Surely 'they' will all have their own definition.....

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:37:22 AM

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Many (most?) don't know and don't post about "what a dom is", or from the other side, "what a sub is". They are however, VERY, precise, clear, and have a concept of what a dom, or 'their' dom/sub is not. Usually they get those concepts from observing posts and perceive behavior, personality, and ability from the words the dom/sub write.

Worse case, they see behavior conveyed in such a way that they forget about pursuing any relationship not wanting any part of the person behind the persona; deciding they are better off without dominance or submission in their life if the image being conveyed is typical of a 'lifestyle' participant. Unfortunately many think and say "all" making universal assumptions and projecting, if not actually believing, in a 'one true way'.

Some come here and, through their posts, convey a pyramid hierarchy of needs so pointed that a pin is at it's peak; then wonder why a submissive (or dom) isn't dancing on the point; when they believed, and expected since this 'lifestyle' they 'discovered' was full of 'submissives', all that was necessary was to label yourself a 'dom' and he would be able to count and choose from the many dancing on the point.

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:37:38 AM

osf

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Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

Surely 'they' will all have their own definition.....

that's what i want to know what is their definition as individuals, and is there any commonality to be found in all their definitions

just curious

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:43:02 AM

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a man with a dominant personality, a man with the ability to lead.

My dominant...a man with those characteristics and who happens to be compatible with me on many other levels of life.

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:47:49 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Many (most?) don't know and don't post about "what a dom is", or from the other side, "what a sub is". They are however, VERY, precise, clear, and have a concept of what a dom, or 'their' dom/sub is not. Usually they get those concepts from observing posts and perceive behavior, personality, and ability from the words the dom/sub write.

Worse case, they see behavior conveyed in such a way that they forget about pursuing any relationship not wanting any part of the person behind the persona; deciding they are better off without dominance or submission in their life if the image being conveyed is typical of a 'lifestyle' participant. Unfortunately many think and say "all" making universal assumptions and projecting, if not actually believing, in a 'one true way'.

Some come here and, through their posts, convey a pyramid hierarchy of needs so pointed that a pin is at it's peak; then wonder why a submissive (or dom) isn't dancing on the point; when they believed, and expected since this 'lifestyle' they 'discovered' was full of 'submissives', all that was necessary was to label yourself a 'dom' and he would be able to count and choose from the many dancing on the point.

all have their ideas of what they want and if they state as well as they can understand what they are that's fine and i cheer them on

but they have to understand that based on how wide or narrow those wants are ,are the chances of fulfilling them, for my part my wants are very narrowly focused, but then i understand and accept that it lowers my pool of available partners

it's my choice and i have to live with the consequences of that choice

maybe a unintended consequence of this question will be to bring that fact home to some that may not have considered it

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:49:59 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

a man with a dominant personality, a man with the ability to lead.

My dominant...a man with those characteristics and who happens to be compatible with me on many other levels of life.

sorry, that's a sales pitch and doesn't really tell us much

every man on here will say he matches that definition

are you willing to settle for anyman?

let's hope not

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:50:23 AM

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Eight inches or more.

chia* (the pet)

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Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:51:54 AM

osf

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Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Eight inches or more.

chia* (the pet)

ok, here's somebody that knows what they want

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 7:59:14 AM

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
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I used this on another thread, but, since I already admited it is stolen, I think I will use it again. As someone said, no one can define 'Dom', I can only speak to what I look for:
This desribes why I do TPE.

"Someone who will pick you up, brush you off, and set you running again, knowing you will probably fall a few times.

Someone who lets you find your way, but steers you back when you veer off of the path.

Someone who will hold you when you cry, admonish you when you don't follow the rules, burst with pride when you succeed, and is there even if you fail.

Someone who will listen, suggest, and be your best friend. Someone who will teach, help, and show strength and support. Someone who naturally nurtures and is not afraid to love and be loved."

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:03:14 AM

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Well, I look at it a bit differently. I didn't want a 'dom'. Searching for a 'dom' didn't get me anywhere but frustrated.

I wanted a relationship. With a man who wanted to take the lead role within that relationship, and who I could trust doing so. I wanted a guy I liked, enjoyed, was on par with me intellectually, emotionally and sexually and who I could make smile and vice versa. As my E puts it - when you're with someone and you never feel the need to put the tv on ... it's all good. The D/s and kink stuff just fell into place.

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:04:49 AM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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In the context of a d/s relationship that dominant partner is the one who has the authority in the relationship. Outside of that relationship, they are just a person who may end up in control or having authority in some interactions with other people.

To me, dominant and submissive are descriptors for how people prefer to interact in the intimate relationships. It may also describe how they tend to act with others. However, I am not going to assume that just because a person calls themselves dominant means that they even want to have any autority over me. Just like I do not expect them to assume that because I am a slave in my intimate relationship that they will have any authority over me.

Who I perceive as dominant, meaning I perceive that they are dominant to me, is something else entirely different. I can't explain what it is that makes me perceive them that way. They have a certain something that resonates with me and my first reaction is to obey them. There are not many people who effect me that way.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:05:32 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I used this on another thread, but, since I already admited it is stolen, I think I will use it again. As someone said, no one can define 'Dom', I can only speak to what I look for:
This desribes why I do TPE.

"Someone who will pick you up, brush you off, and set you running again, knowing you will probably fall a few times.

Someone who lets you find your way, but steers you back when you veer off of the path.

Someone who will hold you when you cry, admonish you when you don't follow the rules, burst with pride when you succeed, and is there even if you fail.

Someone who will listen, suggest, and be your best friend. Someone who will teach, help, and show strength and support. Someone who naturally nurtures and is not afraid to love and be loved."

i have a question

suppose you find/have someone like that, what do you think his motives would be for that?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to tsatske)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:06:46 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

Well, I look at it a bit differently. I didn't want a 'dom'. Searching for a 'dom' didn't get me anywhere but frustrated.

I wanted a relationship. With a man who wanted to take the lead role within that relationship, and who I could trust doing so. I wanted a guy I liked, enjoyed, was on par with me intellectually, emotionally and sexually and who I could make smile and vice versa. As my E puts it - when you're with someone and you never feel the need to put the tv on ... it's all good. The D/s and kink stuff just fell into place.

that's in the direction of my thinking

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to mc1234)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:08:26 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

In the context of a d/s relationship that dominant partner is the one who has the authority in the relationship. Outside of that relationship, they are just a person who may end up in control or having authority in some interactions with other people.

To me, dominant and submissive are descriptors for how people prefer to interact in the intimate relationships. It may also describe how they tend to act with others. However, I am not going to assume that just because a person calls themselves dominant means that they even want to have any autority over me. Just like I do not expect them to assume that because I am a slave in my intimate relationship that they will have any authority over me.

Who I perceive as dominant, meaning I perceive that they are dominant to me, is something else entirely different. I can't explain what it is that makes me perceive them that way. They have a certain something that resonates with me and my first reaction is to obey them. There are not many people who effect me that way.

Knight's Kyra

i mostly concur

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:08:29 AM

Posts: 15659
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did you miss the part I said "and compatibilities on many other levels"?

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:10:56 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

did you miss the part I said "and compatibilities on many other levels"?

compatibility doesn't really describe the thing in and of itself

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:15:29 AM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

dominant:
commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others. Very important, powerful, or successful. Overlooking and commanding from a superior position. Of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance. Being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action

compatible: capable of existing together in harmony

(in reply to osf)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:19:11 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

dominant:
commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others. Very important, powerful, or successful. Overlooking and commanding from a superior position. Of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance. Being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action

all very true, but what have they to do with you is the question

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: I'm curious, all the female submissives say the wan... - 1/3/2010 8:23:01 AM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

what do they have to do with me? That's what a dominant man is to me? That's what I seek??

<scratches head like she does a lot on these forums these days>

(in reply to osf)

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