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RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:16:03 AM

Level

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Yeah, and the lack of hair makes mine slip and slide off

i was going to say that, but i do not want to earn a reputation for picking on those with dysfunctional hair follicles.

Let's hope Mark doesn't see that...

osf: you are correct, in saying that limits affect authority.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:17:57 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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someone show me the dom that's going to say at first when the subject of limits is discussed " are you sure sweetheart those are all you need, here take this here bag of extra limits just in case?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:20:43 AM

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Okay, i checked with Master, who is 100% engineer, very linear in thought and action.....and it was just as i suspected.

There is very little advanced math involved in a functional relationship.

Compatibility is the key to initiating a relationship. If his goals for the dynamic were in direct conflict with my abilities to meet them....we wouldnt work out.

i dont have to spend any time at all worrying about my limits because he has the sense God gave a grapefruit, lives in the real world and has a moral and ethical code that i not only mostly agree wtih, but am fully capable of getting behind.

So, it appears i have no limits.

A search of the keyword "limits" will harvest a pile of threads about this topic....and they all end the same way.....if two people are compatible, whatever limits were perceived, at some point, give the appearance of not existing.

So, working out a math problem instead of communicating one's goals in a clear, compelling manner will render a Dominant single or in the midst of a very dysfunctional and short lived relationship.

All of the above, assumes the Dom is looking for a functional relationship with a emotionally stable partner.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:23:09 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Yeah, and the lack of hair makes mine slip and slide off

i was going to say that, but i do not want to earn a reputation for picking on those with dysfunctional hair follicles.

Let's hope Mark doesn't see that...

Aw Level...Marks hair follicles are not dysfunctional. They are dead.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
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(in reply to Level)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:25:19 AM

osf

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the premise was what the sub expected as to limits and in which areas she want's them

volumes and lines are just metaphors for something that can't be mathematically expressed

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to persephonee)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:31:16 AM

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

someone show me the dom that's going to say at first when the subject of limits is discussed " are you sure sweetheart those are all you need, here take this here bag of extra limits just in case?

Are you saying a dominant can't be flexible in terms of limits?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to osf)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:41:43 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

someone show me the dom that's going to say at first when the subject of limits is discussed " are you sure sweetheart those are all you need, here take this here bag of extra limits just in case?

Are you saying a dominant can't be flexible in terms of limits?

i'm saying show me one that's in love with the idea of limits

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Level)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:42:27 AM

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

It for me is the usage of your words. All i could see is some dom entering a conversation regarding limits and telling me oh you have 2 more limits then permitted. Perhaps that is not what you were getting at, but it is how i read it.

Trust and respect is vital in learning to push through limits, so i can't understand how you are upset in the use of these words, if i read that right.

Wouldn't a Dom work more on trust and respect with their submissive first then being concerned about the number of limits one submissive has? I think that would be a rational way of doing it. Instead of a dom being up in arms and throwing rules out on this, they could use their brain to guide a submissive, instead of say..i am boss and do it my way or else. Now perhaps some like that, but not all Doms are into that type of domination, and don't see limits in a volumn ...set amount of numbers.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to osf)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:45:52 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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the question wasn't about emotions just the actual fact of limits in the relationship

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:47:10 AM

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Wouldn't a Dom work more on trust and respect with their submissive first then being concerned about the number of limits one submissive has?

Yes, wisdom....a Dom would do that.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:48:24 AM

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I tend to think that there aren't many "in love" with limits, but there are some that, for whatever reason, are willing to adjust, in order to maintain a relationship. Now, is that a matter of topping from the bottom? Or is it a sign of a weak dominant?

Again, speaking for myself, if a relationship is to be a d/s one, then limits will be very, very few.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:49:41 AM

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what are you thought on what and how many limits you will cave into for a relationship

my hard limits are not negotiable. If a Dom pushed me to cave, i would have pushed him to the curb.

Well said

My involvements always knew my limits and my expectations...once they thought they can just over rule them I was gone as fast as a space shuttle...

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 1/10/2010 9:50:47 AM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:50:30 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

Wouldn't a Dom work more on trust and respect with their submissive first then being concerned about the number of limits one submissive has?

Yes, wisdom....a Dom would do that.

And of course, it doesn't have to be either/or.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to persephonee)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:53:45 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Okay, i checked with Master, who is 100% engineer, very linear in thought and action.....and it was just as i suspected.

There is very little advanced math involved in a functional relationship.

Compatibility is the key to initiating a relationship. If his goals for the dynamic were in direct conflict with my abilities to meet them....we wouldnt work out.

i dont have to spend any time at all worrying about my limits because he has the sense God gave a grapefruit, lives in the real world and has a moral and ethical code that i not only mostly agree wtih, but am fully capable of getting behind.

So, it appears i have no limits.

A search of the keyword "limits" will harvest a pile of threads about this topic....and they all end the same way.....if two people are compatible, whatever limits were perceived, at some point, give the appearance of not existing.

So, working out a math problem instead of communicating one's goals in a clear, compelling manner will render a Dominant single or in the midst of a very dysfunctional and short lived relationship.

All of the above, assumes the Dom is looking for a functional relationship with a emotionally stable partner.

The bold statements work together for me and I agree with it.(Mark this day down..It doesn't come too often)

The second statement in Italics you might want to peruse again..Unless you just had a Freudian moment and are calling him a dummy.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to persephonee)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:54:13 AM

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Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Hey, Level...go check out the H&P thread a minute, youll crack up.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Level)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:55:43 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

i'm saying show me one that's in love with the idea of limits

a Dom that does not accept and respect the limits of a submissive is going to be a rather lonely man.

I have yet to talk to a respected Dom who did not expect a sub to have limits. In fact, a profile from a "no limit submissive" is generally as huge red flag.

You do not have to like the limits of a submissive, you do not have to agree with them...but you do need to respect and honor them.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

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(in reply to osf)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:55:48 AM

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Okay, i checked with Master, who is 100% engineer, very linear in thought and action.....and it was just as i suspected.

There is very little advanced math involved in a functional relationship.

Compatibility is the key to initiating a relationship. If his goals for the dynamic were in direct conflict with my abilities to meet them....we wouldnt work out.

i dont have to spend any time at all worrying about my limits because he has the sense God gave a grapefruit, lives in the real world and has a moral and ethical code that i not only mostly agree wtih, but am fully capable of getting behind.

So, it appears i have no limits.

A search of the keyword "limits" will harvest a pile of threads about this topic....and they all end the same way.....if two people are compatible, whatever limits were perceived, at some point, give the appearance of not existing.

So, working out a math problem instead of communicating one's goals in a clear, compelling manner will render a Dominant single or in the midst of a very dysfunctional and short lived relationship.

All of the above, assumes the Dom is looking for a functional relationship with a emotionally stable partner.

The bold statements work together for me and I agree with it.(Mark this day down..It doesn't come too often)

The second statement in Italics you might want to peruse again..Unless you just had a Freudian moment and are calling him a dummy.

Hey there Icarys.

Clarify who you think i called a dummy please, and ill respond.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:57:06 AM

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

the question wasn't about emotions just the actual fact of limits in the relationship

call me daff, but i don't get it

Your question might not be about emotions, but limits come with trust, don't they not? Trust is filled with emotions.
You might be the type of Dom who wont accept limits, i had one of those. He though knew to build trust so i would be able to go to that 0 limit with him. Didn't work. Some wise Doms and submissives told me i can have limits and even a safe word. My Sir tells me the same, but he knows my emotions are a major play in limits or not.

As i said call me daff, i dont see how you can seperate it.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to osf)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:58:02 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I tend to think that there aren't many "in love" with limits, but there are some that, for whatever reason, are willing to adjust, in order to maintain a relationship. Now, is that a matter of topping from the bottom? Or is it a sign of a weak dominant?

perhaps a sign of respecting the submissive?

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to Level)

RE: accepting limits - 1/10/2010 9:58:50 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Hey there Icarys.

Clarify who you think i called a dummy please, and ill respond.

The statement was based on your Master? You said he has the sense god gave a grapefruit..The phrase is you don't have the sense god gave a grapefruit and isn't reversible....because their are no smart grapefruits lol.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to persephonee)

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