xssve
Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
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Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill.
If that's all true Wyldhrt, you are not the subject of the discussion - it's really not just a "women's" issue, but women play a role - since everybody defines "attractive" differently w/respect to personality, the whole winners/losers dichotomy eventually hinges on some external quality, and money is the lowest common denominator.
And every time anybody bases some social judgment on it, it reinforces it - if you look at men who are deeply in debt, half the time the did it to keep up with the Joneses, because it was "expected" - looking like a "winner" is expensive, and in the end, it's all just a "look" - you wear the "right" clothes, drive the "right" car, live in the "right" neighborhood, all of which you go into debt to obtain.
I don't have all that shit, I live in the ghetto, drive an old Pickup, although I do mostly shop at Ross, although I'm not exactly a clothes horse, but my bills are paid and I'm not in debt - it's just the way I was raised, my parents paid cash for every car they ever bought, the only debt they ever carried was a mortgage and they paid that off as fast as they could to avoid the interest.
Thing is, I've known fairly wealthy people all my life, and guess what? They're all, of most of them, that way - they drive old cars, they don't eat out ever night, they don't max out their credit cards, they save their money and invest - that's why they have money.
You ever read, or see American Psycho? It's really social commentary on the whole Narcissistic pathology of being a "success" in America - the main character goes into a lethal rage because a business rival has a better looking business card than he does - in the end, it's all in his imagination, but it is the mindset of the Narcissist, other people simply become obstacles in their compulsion to reinforce their fragile identities by obtaining the external symbols of success - the problem is always that there is somebody more "successful" than you are, so there is never any real satisfaction.
It's perfectly natural to desire "security", a roof over your head, food in the pantry - those who don't desire these things are most likely not on the internet to begin with, but if you need money for emotional security, if you see it as a reflection of self worth, it's technically an anti-social personality disorder, pretty much by definition.
Naturally, the media encourages this, they are a vehicle for advertisers, and advertisers represent corporations that are run by executives whose jobs depend on quarterly reports that in turn reflect how much money people spend on their shit - consumption - whether they go into debt to do it or not. So of course, they cater to the "consumer" in you, that's the part of you that's important to them, and if it's compulsive, that's even better - it's not that much different than drug, or any other addiction.
When it comes to women, it's really a more complex issue - I've seen women divorce men because they weren't "ambitious" enough, I've also seen people break up because they were so ambitious they never had any time for each other, and everything in between.
I don't know if I really like the term "lifestyle", but with wealth it's always a trade off - making money isn't really that difficult, but it does take time and effort, and the more time and effort you put into making money, the less time you have for anything else.
These dominas that want a successful guy, may not realize that the reason they're successful is because they put in 60 to 80 hours a week in some pressure cooker, and they need somebody to "depressurize" them, otherwise, most of these guys are headed for a breakdown - they're already alienated, already at the mercy of a system where their best is never enough. This is a thing that women, as a symbolic representation, are supposed to heal - if you're just part of the system, you're just part of the system, and we complain about "the system", it's human nature, because "the system" isn't human, and it doesn't deal with humans, it deals with symbols - humans are fallible.
It's really a pattern in American economics: the "winners" get too greedy, and crash the economy, firms lay off the least productive (or least connected) employees - the more productive employees are suddenly doing the work of Three people; six months later they burn out and end up playing paddle ball in the corner.
I've watched it happen over and over since the Seventies, and I'm sure we'll all get right back up and do it again.
There's a reason they used to call it the "rat race", it's not the same thing as "living".
< Message edited by xssve -- 2/22/2010 6:49:16 AM >
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RE: "Financially Secure" - 
Profile
but because I'm a submissive seeking a relationship with a Dominant who is capable of running our relationship and our lives. If a supposed Dom can't even take care of his own finances, he certainly has no business trying to control my money, let alone my life. 
has made, my pay has decreased recently, so that might not be entirely true anymore ... hmm...). Anyway, point is that I don't care about that. We work together well inside the house to keep things maintained, and we all three have jobs outside the house to pay the bills. Like so many others, we don't have a lot of extra money for all of the things that we want - but our bills get paid, we aren't in danger of losing our house or cars, etc. If we could find someone who had a small (or even better, a large 
) fortune to his name, then that's great ... but if that's all he has, then we'll pass. We would rather have someone who is poor but genuinely wants to serve us than someone who has a ton of money and is willing to serve anyone who will let him (or, like most whom we've talked to with $$, willing to serve anyone who will let him serve exactly how he wants). Money is just a convenience for the most part. It makes life easier, but it's not the end all, be all of life.
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