quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Iron clad guarantee that their future financial security is assured.? What rock have you just crawled out from under Honey. ? Wake up. There is No such thing as an iron clad guarantee of future financial security being assured for anyone anymore. People are going to have to be prepared to see their standards of living drop.FACT. People are losing their jobs. FACT. Companies are going bust. FACT.  Start informing yourself.  People who seek guarantees of financial security are living in a dream world. Which unfortunately most of the Dommes , here, with the greatest of respect,  live in - a dream world, a fantasy.
Kevin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

<<<< goes and buys ten cases of vibrators... because it will be a cold day in hell when I lower my standards to enable a lazy bum and let him be in my life just so I have a warm... lazy ass there.

Fuck that!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

My question is, what have you done during that period to make yourself more attractive...?

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

<<<< goes and buys ten cases of vibrators... because it will be a cold day in hell when I lower my standards to enable a lazy bum and let him be in my life just so I have a warm... lazy ass there.

Fuck that!

I think there is  a double standard when it comes to gender, and it cut's both ways: the assumption it's a mans world, "men make more money", women have the babies, ergo, it's the mans job to take care of the woman - I'm fine with that when there are other people to be responsible for, in this case, UM's, but if there aren't then whole thing is just a social construct with no application, it's just a sense of entitlement, and it's annoying because it's usually put in just such terms.

I take care of myself, and I take care of my kids, I don't need your money, but I'm not a "bum" because I can't buy you lot's of pretty things and let you max out my credit cards because you're just so gosh darn cute - maybe this other guy will do that, in which case, I hope you're every happy together.

Thing is, everybody would love to "fall into it", I'd be happy with a woman that makes more money than I do, doesn't threaten me in the slightest, and the flip side of men makign more money, is that it's often easier for a woman to get a job, even if it's lower paying, which is still more than no job at all.

I'm in my current situation because my ex didn't do her job: all I needed was for her to stay home and take care of the kids, I can make a lot of money doing what i do, but the hours are long, there's a lot of travel, I have to go where the work is - she didn't, I couldn't, and in the end I'm stuck doing her job, which is fine, but it means I can't do what I do, and I'm essentially stuck with a sustenance living.

If any woman had been willing to step up and help me out a bit, we'd be rolling in it, but at least around here, there are a lot of guys with high paying blue collar oilfield jobs, and the women are all chasing those guys 'cause they can fall into an SUV and cell phone, and work a casual part time job, i.e., they can come in at the top, instead of having to work their way up, I can't compete.

Of course, the oilfield is boom/bust, and inevitably, when the economy goes south, the Thrifty Nickel is full of people trying to sell all their toys, whereas I had a fairly recession proof gig, still do, just not quite as lucrative.

Point being, it's a mutual thing, you both benefit from doing whatever you do to maintain your standard of living if that's important to you - my ex is, 7 years later, still an unemployed alcoholic sponging off her friends, I'm counting nickels and budgeting while trying to get something going where I don't have to rely on unreliable people.

As a personal standard, I'm much happier living within my means than trying to keep up with the Joneses anyway, especially if it means going into panic mode everytime the republicans crash the economy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You guys can buy *me* stuff. I don't mind.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You guys can buy *me* stuff. I don't mind.

you'd have to complete me suppliers' questionnaire though; me customers expect quality knicks only

E

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Don't know why you directed that at me... I have no double standard as exhibited in many places, including this thread. I am one of those that doesn't want to be supported and I don't ask for gifts. If you want to take some short take on one thing I said and put more meaning to it without all I said in a previous post... then go for it... but you can't put me in a catagory with the one because the other proves differently.

Make your stand on your own merit... not taking mine out of context. Thank you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

With the attitudes I've seen on this thread, I have a much clearer understanding of why so many prospective subs won't even buy a coffee on a first meet, let alone dinner! How do you manage in the vanilla world, for heaven's sake?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

xssve, Your one saving grace with me is that you posted your comments around nine and looked at my profile near ten thirty... so you couldn't know what I have to say on mine. That still doesn't excuse placing me in a catagory with your opinion of most domina's. You took your own take and opinions about what most domina's are like or all about and projected onto me... who is far from the typical, ball busting, cash seeking, lazy no good wannabe's that want something for nothing and special treatment because they carry a vagina.

You just batted strike outs.

If you are going to use someone as an example... you best know your stand or take/opinion is correct firstly and secondly, the one you are using as an example is worthy of your comments.

It seems many submissive men have an opinion of dominant women based on things other than dominant women and you have just proven that you do as well. Combine that with a bad experience with a spouse and someone not real accountable... and you have a mix for discrimination and insult to those who don't deserve it.

Hopefully you will learn something from this... But don't blame me for trying to teach you a thing or two.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Egarslave, twice you have said that a domina wants you to be able to support yourself. Let's stop focusing what these domina's you have talked to or read profiles on, want, and focus on you for a moment.

Can you support yourself?

If no... join the unworking men who are looking to hook up around here. Some, because of the economy are having a rough time supporting themselves. That is an understandable reason for being unemployed to a point. If they were working at some point, they would most likely have unemployment, which would mean some money coming in. Those who have approached me looking for a relationship... basically a home, didn't have any income or were waiting on income or had unemployment that was about to run out. They didn't want me, they wanted the home I could provide.

Honestly, I would help someone I believed was in real trouble and that I cared about. So... I don't expect someone to support me. I don't want to support them either. I do expect them to do something for themselves and many who have contacted me have felt that becasue I am ill and older, they could get in the door real easy because I must be very hungry to get someone because I can't get someone! lol (Mutter's cold day in hell!) Many of these men were not unemployed because of the economy, but poor work habits, other habits and life choices and they had hard times for years... many years.

It isn't always a money thing! It is a life choice thing. Many didn't care to educate themselves. Many decided hanging with friends for a party more important or playing in life when they needed to actually pay attention. It is a mindset... an attitude... a way of life that is often indicated by the results of these things manifesting in their life and some women that really don't care about money, DO care about that! I don't want someone who makes poor life choices. I don't care how much money a man has or doesn't have, but I do care very much about that!

If you can support yourself, just can't support someone else on what you make... okay... join about half the people anywhere. lol People who want a certain standard of living anyway.

Not everyone is real comfortable. They may make their bills but don't have a lot of extra... nothing to fall back on. I would be in that position, not by poor choices, but because of an illness. There isn't much I can do to change that. I know many in this situation and am not alone. I doubt that any reasonable person would discredit someone else in the same position and many do team up and face a better life. If they do discredit others for what they themselves cannot do, then consider the source and move on. No sense bitching about it.

This isn't about other people. This is about you. Your take on it all, your response, your life. For every woman out there that wants a rich partner, there is someone out there that doesn't care to have a rich partner or is understanding or who will be glad to take on someone in their situation or in a poorer situation. I have seen many women who actually had something going for themselves... that took on a sweet talker who had nothing, just to have someone or to fill a spot in their life. I know some men who are out there trying to take advantage of such women. The whole thing goes both ways. That is why I say in part, this is about YOU.

What is your attitude? Do you make decent life choices? Do you have something to bring to a relationship or even just your life? Focus on yourself and if you need to make changes, make them and then go find someone that fits you and your life. If you focus on how things cannot happen because of other people, I would suspect that is part of your life problem that prevents you from finding someone else. Because there are poor men hooking up all over the place. lol They hook up and I literally watch them do so and in a few months they are looking again, not because they were poor, because they were accepted at first... but tossed out because of other issues... and that falls in line with their poor choices or personal issues.