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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

I'm going to go against the tide here. I expect to get flamed, but so be it. I'd rather speak the truth, tell it like it is, and catch hell for it if that's the result.

The concept that when dommes spout off about not being into a sub's expressed interest, they're doing the guy a favor and educating him, that's nothing more than a rationalization allowing them to bitch and moan about not getting what they want. I'm not saying that it's intentional. A lot of women actually believe that they're helping when they do this. But they're not. What they're doing is dominating the thread with unnecessary negatives, and discouraging positive responses from people who actually might consider responding affirmatively.

What they don't seem to get is that silence is a very good negative response. If a guy asks how many femdoms are into X, Y, or Z, and nobody responds, that answers his question just fine, without the self-centered, self-righteous explanations of why someone doesn't like it.

If someone asks "How do people feel about X?", then it's appropriate for anyone to respond about whether, how, and why they like or dislike it. If the questions is "Who likes X, and why?", then there's really no good reason for hordes of dislikers to chime in and disparage X. If you think you're providing an educational service, you're just being self-delusioinal.

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You're essentially silencing the women and their opinions.

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What exactly makes an opinion a "self-righteous" opinion in your mind? Aren't all opinions based around a person's self-interest making it "self-centered"? How else does a femdom say, "No, that kink turns me off for x, y, z reasons" without you being offended and striking back with "self-righteousness" and "self-centerdness" accusations against her?

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Femdoms have every right to express their dislike or disgust in something even if some people are too sensitive to handle their expression.

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I wonder if you carry a chip on your shoulder such that no matter what a femdom says, you won't be able to receive their comments without negativity and judgment.

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Excellent points Akasha. I don't think many are cognizant of what Dommes go through.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

I'm going to go against the tide here. I expect to get flamed, but so be it. I'd rather speak the truth, tell it like it is, and catch hell for it if that's the result.

The concept that when dommes spout off about not being into a sub's expressed interest, they're doing the guy a favor and educating him, that's nothing more than a rationalization allowing them to bitch and moan about not getting what they want. I'm not saying that it's intentional. A lot of women actually believe that they're helping when they do this. But they're not. What they're doing is dominating the thread with unnecessary negatives, and discouraging positive responses from people who actually might consider responding affirmatively.

What they don't seem to get is that silence is a very good negative response. If a guy asks how many femdoms are into X, Y, or Z, and nobody responds, that answers his question just fine, without the self-centered, self-righteous explanations of why someone doesn't like it.

If someone asks "How do people feel about X?", then it's appropriate for anyone to respond about whether, how, and why they like or dislike it. If the questions is "Who likes X, and why?", then there's really no good reason for hordes of dislikers to chime in and disparage X. If you think you're providing an educational service, you're just being self-delusioinal.

I think femdoms could do a better job (myself included) of not bringing past baggage into a thread when a new sub posts what appears to be a selfish question, a request for wanking material, or a gleeful disregard for reality.  I think subs still do underestimate just how much, how often and how intensely femdoms are objectified - daily - by men who think this is ok.  As a result, we may come off as heavy handed when a man comes strongly from a position of fantasy-land (his own).

Or, we're just impatient, fed up, and it was the 10th message like it we've read that day (remember, a lot of us are reading a dozen emails a day that are much more objectifying and rude).

I do think women should respond and tell subs "No, that's not what I am into," but I think we could make a better attempt to show an alternate POV of when we *may* be into that kind of scenario and how it works, so the sub gets an idea of the reality vs. the fantasy.   I think a lot of us are discouraged at the idea of taking that much time and effort, because many of us have done that one-on-one with a guy, only to have him still turn around and use us as a sex object, or just give a virtual blank stare and contact us again a week later with the same come-on.

Akasha

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I think there is a huge difference between someone seeking to be educated on an intellectual level and someone who wants to discuss a certain topic because it stirs them up sexually.

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
The concept that when dommes spout off about not being into a sub's expressed interest, they're doing the guy a favor and educating him, that's nothing more than a rationalization allowing them to bitch and moan about not getting what they want. I'm not saying that it's intentional. A lot of women actually believe that they're helping when they do this. But they're not. What they're doing is dominating the thread with unnecessary negatives, and discouraging positive responses from people who actually might consider responding affirmatively.

I'll give you guys a couple of days to figure out in just what way I find this exceptionally ironic and hilarious.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
How else is he going to know if his fetish is one that is going to be realistically embraced by women he's trying to attract?

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I think subs still do underestimate just how much, how often and how intensely femdoms are objectified - daily - by men who think this is ok. As a result, we may come off as heavy handed when a man comes strongly from a position of fantasy-land (his own).

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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I think there is a huge difference between someone seeking to be educated on an intellectual level and someone who wants to discuss a certain topic because it stirs them up sexually.

I agree. If you like what they like, feel free to respond. If you don't, then don't respond, and you won't give them what they want. They probably enjoy stirring the pot and getting you pissed off more than getting no reply at all.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
The concept that when dommes spout off about not being into a sub's expressed interest, they're doing the guy a favor and educating him, that's nothing more than a rationalization allowing them to bitch and moan about not getting what they want. I'm not saying that it's intentional. A lot of women actually believe that they're helping when they do this. But they're not. What they're doing is dominating the thread with unnecessary negatives, and discouraging positive responses from people who actually might consider responding affirmatively.

I'll give you guys a couple of days to figure out in just what way I find this exceptionally ironic and hilarious.

Because you only see things from one side?

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I think femdoms could do a better job (myself included) of not bringing past baggage into a thread when a new sub posts what appears to be a selfish question, a request for wanking material, or a gleeful disregard for reality.

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I think femdoms could do a better job (myself included) of not bringing past baggage into a thread when a new sub posts what appears to be a selfish question, a request for wanking material, or a gleeful disregard for reality.

I think this begs the question of why should we feel obligated to to a "better job" or to bother to civilly address a post that is clearly out of touch with reality and/or based in a trollish desire for us to supply material for some random schmuck's masturbatory fantasies.  Why must we, as dominant women, go out of our way to placate these individuals, redirect them to a more realistic approach, or simply shut our mouths and ignore what is obviously a problem for many of us? 
 
Over on the Masters forum is a thread in which the OP came to the forum, ostensibly under the direction of "her" dominant, to inform the general public of her loyalty to her "master" and the details of their sex life plus a request for ideas for her master to try out on her.  The thread in question has reached five pages of people, dominant and submissive, male and female, essentially pissing all over her, her master, and the thread.  From my quick skim, there is absolutely no one taking exception to the caustic responses generated by the OP.  Not one single voice of dissent or anyone lamenting the cruel dominants who have to rain all over the poor sub's parade and why can't they all just STFU instead.
 
Because, you see, in the back of many minds, it's okay for a woman to get chastised for "bad" behavior, and it's okay for a woman to be told to sit down and shut the fuck up if she doesn't have something pleasant to say, but it's not okay for a woman to tell an equally ill-mannered and uncouth man the exact same thing.  I certainly don't see any of the people who are bitching about women's behavior in this forum running over there to stick up for her and her master or chastise the forum regulars for bad behavior -- Kevin, Hardbody, Cloudboy -- yes, I'm calling all of you on your bullshit double standard. 
 
I'm not suggesting that responses can't or shouldn't be diplomatic whenever possible.  However, that doesn't mean any of us should feel obligated to be diplomatic or remain silent because OH. MY. GAWD. someone's delicate sensibilities might be offended.  Ever hear the saying "if you're bored, then you're boring?"  If you're offended, perhaps it's because you were offensive.

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Again...both ironic and hilarious.  Take a few more days to figure out exactly why.  Take a couple of weeks...you'll need them.

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ORIGINAL: MsHValentine

Do you also reprimand the men who come to this board and say negative things? Or is it just the women? If you visit this board you can't deny the bitter and hateful things which have been said by some male posters. For instance, a fellow poster named domiguy, who has on occasion come into this section and made derogatory remarks against over weight women. I wonder if you feel the need to correct him and other snarky male posters as well, and tell him if he has nothing nice to say about a subject, he should just keep quiet.