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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/5/2006 8:03:15 PM

michaelGA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sosniagara

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
My sense of reality is just fine. I understood your feelings on this matter the first time you stated them. The subsequent hundred or so times were nothing but overkill.

~stef

Overkill or self denial?

i assure you, there's NO self denial here...this is the kind of statement that keeps me stirred up. so let's just say it will NEVER happen and i am NOT in denial...PERIOD!!!!

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/5/2006 8:06:34 PM

yourMissTress

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From: Nashville, TN
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I understand your situation. If you are in anyway concerned that your Domina may cross one of your expressed hard limits...I would have to ask you, do you trust your Domina? What I read aren't the words of a sub that's feeling safe and secure in his relationship with his Domina. A sub that's not feeling safe and secure cannot progress on the road of submission.

To address the OP: While I am extremely turned on by watching a man suck cock, it's not a deal breaker for me. There are lots of things that turn me on....

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Post #: 102

RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/6/2006 3:36:31 AM

SimplyV

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Joined: 11/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO
In other words, she could get deep into subspace, her will turned over to her Dom, then she is doing his will. Turn that toward me and well here we are at this very issue .

So you all have decided to play together? Was this part of the understanding between the two of you in the begining? To me it does sound like you have some trust issues with her in this current situation.

I do understand your hesitantcy if you do decide to play with both of them, as, unless stated otherwise, her Dom in a play situation my end up directly/indirectly dominating you. Which means you would need to have as much trust in him as you would her.

Sounds like there needs to be a lot of communication between the three of you and ground rules set. Or you need to find someone else to suit your needs, and thank her for the experiences you two had together.

V

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Post #: 103

RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/6/2006 4:38:00 AM

sosniagara

Posts: 31
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA
i assure you, there's NO self denial here...this is the kind of statement that keeps me stirred up. so let's just say it will NEVER happen and i am NOT in denial...PERIOD!!!!

Then dude - Why do you keep posting in this thread? You've said your peace more than a few times and now all you've been doing for awhile is saying variations on "no way" again and again. All you're really doing here is thread crapping imho.

< Message edited by sosniagara -- 4/6/2006 4:39:34 AM >

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Post #: 104

RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/6/2006 4:56:32 AM

Lashra

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I would never force anyone to do anything against their hard limits. A hard limit is just that and sometimes if you cross that line you can destroy trust which is paramount in any relationship.
I'm bi my sub is not and therefore I would not make him engage in sexual activity with another man.

~Lashra

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/6/2006 6:43:55 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

I also understand that when in subspace, I would be vulnerable to my Domme if we were in an established relationship/connection, to submitting to this. I just don’t know if I could live with the consequences. Thus right-wrong- or otherwise, I do question my level of commitment as a submissive and whether going deeper into the lifestyle is wise for me. I almost see it as inevitable were I to continue. This is tough.

This situation is where a skilled and caring dominant would then not push you into your hard limiits or would do so in a very tiny way.

Let me give you an example from my life experienced past.

I had a submissive with a hard limit of no permenant marks.

One day in scene he go so far into an alterered state of thinking that he literally begged me repeatedly to mark him so that he could see my mark all the time.

As tempting as that was, I only did white-line drawing on him that would last a max of two days. Just as I suspected, the next day he called very upset. He knew I wouldn't break his limits unless he asked but he couldn't remember very clearly. I came to him, showed him the marks were all ready fading, and retold him what happened.

I was lucky that I knew knife play well enough to have made only these marks and that he trusted me enough to believe the best of me. If I had been unlucky, I do believe in NYC at that time he could have called the cops on me for assault.

Today, after several more years of experience, I wouldn't even casually mark such a person. I'd instead stop the scene, help him climb back to his everyday self, and we'd talk about what he desired in that headspace.

I'm likely preaching to the chorus here but we as dominant (of any sex or gender) should never forget that our actions are not recognized as "normal" and may indeed be considered illegal in the greater society we live in. I think the only thing that truly protects us is the desire and trust of those we top or dom or own.

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Post #: 106

RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/6/2006 6:49:11 AM

thetammyjo

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Unless you have negotiated otherwise, you have no relationship at all with any top or dom she may have.

I'd strongly suggest that any such negotiation be not a matter between you and she but between you, she, and him.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself out of reach in their relationship. If they don't agree, I'd seriously find another mentor.

Yeah, it could take time but you're the only one who can protect yourself and make your needs and desires known. You might end up really disliking yourself (and her) if you don't make your limits clear.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

OK, I guess I need to explain a little bit of my personal situation. I think you might better see where I’m coming from and why I’m so, um, down about things.

My best friend, my mentor into the lifestyle, is my Domme. Or rather somewhat is, or maybe was, it’s really not clear except for the fact that it’s not going to be long term. Confused yet? Anyway, she is a switch, more sub than Dom. She is currently seeking a Dom most earnestly. Recent developments have brought very good possibilities into her life. (Tomorrow could be a huge day for her.) The thing is, the Doms she has run into are big into the cuckolding thing.

Don’t misunderstand, she cares for me greatly. But she can give me no real assurances. Things get complicated when you sub to a sub. In other words, she could get deep into subspace, her will turned over to her Dom, then she is doing his will. Turn that toward me and well here we are at this very issue . So basically what has happened is our D/s relationship is at an end. There is still some interaction, but that’s another story and that could be ending very soon. Back to the point; my D/s relationship has just ended over this very topic.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/24/2006 12:34:05 PM

charlottecd

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there is nothing that turns me on more than forced bi
in fact my all time fantasy is to be watched by a large group of women and mocked and called names while i orally service another male in front of them.

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/24/2006 12:47:53 PM

MsMacComb

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: charlottecd

there is nothing that turns me on more than forced bi
in fact my all time fantasy is to be watched by a large group of women and mocked and called names while i orally service another male in front of them.

Nice avatar.

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/24/2006 4:19:21 PM

Proprietrix

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I don't get into the whole forced bi thing.
I have to asgree with the school of thought that says "If you love it, how's it forced????"
There are TONS of ways my boys can show their loyalty and dedication without having to cross their sexual orientation.
In fact, I have a hell of a hard time finding straight male subs. Once I take the search perimeters down to "straight" and "male", the returns are a hell of a lot less.

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/24/2006 10:48:00 PM

ServiceNTucson

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strob

I was just wondering how many dommes wouldn never even take a sub into consideration if a forced bi is his "hard limit"?

I have a little bit of a problem with the concept of "forced" anything. I'm 6'1". I weigh over 200 lbs. About the only way a Domina could "force" me to do anything would be by sticking a gun to my head. And I certainly would not allow myself to become the property of a Woman I thought might do that.

Granted, if and when I do find my Owner, She will probably occasionally order me to do something I won't want to do. Most likely, She will sometimes order me to do something I intensely dislike.

I will, nonetheless, obey, because when I surrender ownership of my body, mind and soul to Her, I will also surrender my right to set hard limits.

Needless to say, before I make this surrender, I will know Her well and trust Her implicitly.

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 4/25/2006 2:33:40 AM

LoneGoddess

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Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
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I don't do bi anything, forced or otherwise. Boys, you don't have to give up your search, some of us are out here. I don't share well with others.

LG~

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/2/2006 12:35:00 PM

trusubmaleseekin

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I believe if something is that much of a block there is a reason for that block and should be seriously considered.

I had a Mistress try to get me to serve her and her lover and i refused and as much friendship as there was all play pretty much ended. I think it's natural to have an aversion to this and totally unnatural to partake in homo erotic activity unless your gay, Most of these guys who want forced bi are just homosexuals who want the Mistress to take responsibility for their desires. If a top has any humanity at all they wouldn't desire to break someones spirit. Remember the old talk show Jenny Jones where a secret admirer turned out to be gay and just the embaressment drove the object of this gay mans desires to find him later and kill him. If any Mistress ever went against a hard limit that was clearly defined and tricked me in any way into doing something even recieving a bj from a male or animal i would be very upset and not think of suicide but total bloody revenge.

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/2/2006 12:54:25 PM

BLKMADONA

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I dunno...I think that if u wish to please ur Mistress(mind u everything is discussed when u met Her/Him), and if Im not mistaken..it pretty much boils down to that, then u would do it. Albeit there has to be trust(more than normal) to go thru with it. I dont think it means ur gay-far from it. u are simply doing as ur Mistress instructs u do and u know it pleases Her. Theres no attraction to the other male..so thus..its just an act. If u can take a strapon from Her.......see where Im going with it. My sub is no way near a homosexual.........but by George..if I tell him to get on his knees to suck sumthin...he better well dam do it!

But then again..we have a very trusting relationship. he knows I would never put his body in danger. Be well all..and have a lovely day. To each its own.........

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/2/2006 4:12:03 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strob
I was just wondering how many dommes wouldn never even take a sub into consideration if a forced bi is his "hard limit"?

There are a lot of women seeking men who are not seeking bi... I am not interested in sharing my boy sexually at all with other men/women; if he wants to experiment with how a single tail feels, I'm more than happy to stand by and watch another Master do it to my boy, but otherwise nah.

Even granting that I don't look at fem dom profiles often, unless it is to understand them in relation to their posts, my forced bi ideas have always come from men. The reason I have delineated it as a limit on my profile is the sub's usual persistence in trying to talk me into/begging/stressing me to make his fantasy of doing it a reality; it's definitely not come from my trying to coerce anyone into it.
As a disclaimer: I don't hate seeing man on man action at all; for me, it probably has much more to do with my being possessive and my considering sex (intercourse/oral) almost a spiritual level connection. I would never try and break that part of my submissive by trying to force him into it any more than I would want to be coerced into a sex act... M

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/2/2006 4:39:30 PM

LoneGoddess

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Bi anything is a hard limit for me as well. What bothers me most is the boys who say they're bi on their profiles, then later rescind it once I tell them it doesn't interest me in the least.

For me it's an honesty issue. If a man truly isn't bi, all this posturing to get a Dommes attention by saying he'd do it for her, just angers me. I see a duality I don't appreciate. I have no interest in the bi men (as one is either bi [experienced or not] or het, period, there's no such thing as "bi-curious") . But my reasoning behind not finding a bi man acceptable is the same as my not finding a switchy one acceptable. Areas that he desires and may resent me for not allowing him to partake of in the future.

I don't find the idea of sharing my partner with anyone physically, exciting in the least. I am a possessive bitch, admittedly. And I had better be the center of his universe, period.

Forced bi? Ha. Considering how many men say they want this, there is no forcing involved. Kind of takes the wind out of the sails ... the way I see it.

Gentlemen, if you have issue with those ladies who say forced bi is a must, skip over them! Or are you that desperate for a Domme that you'd sacrifice your own values to be with one?

LG~

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There are too many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them."~DfaI

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/2/2006 4:48:25 PM

michaelGA2

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well said, LoneGoddess.

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/2/2006 4:54:44 PM

LadyRope

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I have absolutly no interest in a male who is bisexual nor do I have any desire to force a male to endure sexual contact with a male..its a preference,like any other fetish,It does nothing for me, I have other ways to amuse myself with my property...

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RE: Forced bi as a must?! - 5/3/2006 7:20:13 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoneGoddess

Bi anything is a hard limit for me as well. What bothers me most is the boys who say they're bi on their profiles, then later rescind it once I tell them it doesn't interest me in the least.

For me it's an honesty issue. If a man truly isn't bi, all this posturing to get a Dommes attention by saying he'd do it for her, just angers me. I see a duality I don't appreciate. I have no interest in the bi men (as one is either bi [experienced or not] or het, period, there's no such thing as "bi-curious") . But my reasoning behind not finding a bi man acceptable is the same as my not finding a switchy one acceptable. Areas that he desires and may resent me for not allowing him to partake of in the future.

I don't find the idea of sharing my partner with anyone physically, exciting in the least. I am a possessive bitch, admittedly. And I had better be the center of his universe, period.

Forced bi? Ha. Considering how many men say they want this, there is no forcing involved. Kind of takes the wind out of the sails ... the way I see it.

Gentlemen, if you have issue with those ladies who say forced bi is a must, skip over them! Or are you that desperate for a Domme that you'd sacrifice your own values to be with one?

LG~