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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 7:03:14 PM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive


I think I'm going to approach her tonight about us buying one, since I'm really into it. The only problem is that neither of us is really dominant, and it usually ends up being me who has to take control, despite the fact that it's a bit of a turn off for me to do so.



Hmmmm, interesting dilemma.  Perhaps you should invent a new kink; "forced dominance".  Since she's naturally submissive, you can order her to dominate you.  Being the submissive that she is, she won't have any option but to obey. 

BTW, i think that you will find that strap-on play will have a way of bringing out the inner Domme in your girlfriend.  Can i get an "Amen" from any of the Dommes out there? 

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 7:08:18 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
BTW, i think that you will find that strap-on play will have a way of bringing out the inner Domme in your girlfriend.  Can i get an "Amen" from any of the Dommes out there? 


I've mentioned before somewhere that when my regular mostly straight, mostly vanilla girlfriends have put on a strap-on over their jeans at a fuckerware party, they go all wild and stroke it, bucking their hips, licking their lips like huntresses.

My best friend, who is sub, put my strap-on on and exclaimed "oh someone bend over!!" then she chased her husband around my house wearing it. It was brilliant :-)

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 1/31/2010 7:10:30 PM >


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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 7:24:16 PM   
GiveandGive


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

BTW, i think that you will find that strap-on play will have a way of bringing out the inner Domme in your girlfriend.  Can i get an "Amen" from any of the Dommes out there? 



quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


I've mentioned before somewhere that when my regular mostly straight, mostly vanilla girlfriends have put on a strap-on over their jeans at a fuckerware party, they go all wild and stroke it, bucking their hips, licking their lips like huntresses.

- LA


I would be so relieved if this actually happened. We've been dating for about a year and three months now, and when we first started, she'd want sex every other hour. Now, she just doesn't give a shit, and complains if I try to initiate anything more than once a week.

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 7:36:37 PM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

We've been dating for about a year and three months now, and when we first started, she'd want sex every other hour. Now, she just doesn't give a shit, and complains if I try to initiate anything more than once a week.



Hmmmmmm, this is rather odd.  i think you mentioned earlier that you are only 19 years old.  It is unusual for a girl that young to lose interest in sex.  Are you sure that you are doing enough to meet her needs and keep her interested (in sex)?  Perhaps you are so focused on fulfilling your own sexual fantasies, that you haven't paid enough attention to fulfilling hers.  Just a thought.



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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 7:41:28 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


I've mentioned before somewhere that when my regular mostly straight, mostly vanilla girlfriends have put on a strap-on over their jeans at a fuckerware party, they go all wild and stroke it, bucking their hips, licking their lips like huntresses.

- LA


I would be so relieved if this actually happened. We've been dating for about a year and three months now, and when we first started, she'd want sex every other hour. Now, she just doesn't give a shit, and complains if I try to initiate anything more than once a week.




Any fuckerware parties in your area? Check with your local sex toy boutique or LGBT association. I host at least one a year at my house, with Cosmos & Martinis and hors d'œuvres. My girlfriends love it! You can have some for couples too. You might meet kinky people ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 8:42:31 PM   
NihilusZero


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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

I would be so relieved if this actually happened. We've been dating for about a year and three months now, and when we first started, she'd want sex every other hour. Now, she just doesn't give a shit, and complains if I try to initiate anything more than once a week.

Is she as staunch in refusing to discuss the reasons for this? Has your interest in men begun (or elevated) since you've gotten together with her?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:35:25 PM   
GiveandGive


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She says that since she turned 16, she's just been less and less interested in sex every year.

I have never heard of a "fuckerware party", that's such a silly name! I'd be afraid to let a bunch of strangers into my house, I can't imagine how you do it! I'd be watching everyone, seeing if anyone tried to pocket a book or something.

We ended up having a long discussion/argument tonight. This just ended, and long story short, tomorrow, after class, we're going to go buy a dildo/strap-on. We're also supposed to use them tomorrow, but she wants each of us a write a list of things we want/are okay with doing during female domination sex. I wasn't sure if any of you could give me some help with this? I'm sure there are tons of neat ideas that I haven't thought of that you could introduce to me. Or any sex toys that would be good for us to buy, as we're planning on buying a decent amount of stuff, because we have a 15% off pass to the store, and we want to get as much as we need for the next 6 months or so. I don't want to make another topic just for this... Unless that's what you're supposed to do on this message board? I'm not sure of how the etiquette is here.

I'm excited!

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:39:51 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

She says that since she turned 16, she's just been less and less interested in sex every year.

I have never heard of a "fuckerware party", that's such a silly name! I'd be afraid to let a bunch of strangers into my house, I can't imagine how you do it! I'd be watching everyone, seeing if anyone tried to pocket a book or something.

We ended up having a long discussion/argument tonight. This just ended, and long story short, tomorrow, after class, we're going to go buy a dildo/strap-on. We're also supposed to use them tomorrow, but she wants each of us a write a list of things we want/are okay with doing during female domination sex. I wasn't sure if any of you could give me some help with this? I'm sure there are tons of neat ideas that I haven't thought of that you could introduce to me. Or any sex toys that would be good for us to buy, as we're planning on buying a decent amount of stuff, because we have a 15% off pass to the store, and we want to get as much as we need for the next 6 months or so. I don't want to make another topic just for this... Unless that's what you're supposed to do on this message board? I'm not sure of how the etiquette is here.

I'm excited!


If you both are going along for this, I'd actually say to default to her on the purchases. Let her be the window-shopper when you guys are at the shop. If her libido needs a kick-start, getting the feel like she'll get to play with the ideas that interest her will help stimulate her interest.

You guys have already discussed the basics of idea for purchases, so you can be pretty sure she's geared towards toys you're going to enjoy anyway. Does your local toy shop have a website? You both could start browsing stock ahead of time.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:48:23 PM   
GiveandGive


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quote:


Original: NihilusZero

If you both are going along for this, I'd actually say to default to her on the purchases. Let her be the window-shopper when you guys are at the shop. If her libido needs a kick-start, getting the feel like she'll get to play with the ideas that interest her will help stimulate her interest.



This is what I was opting for, but she wouldn't hear of it. She kept saying "What if I get something too big? Or too small? What if I buy a realistic looking penis and you don't want that, or vice-versa?!" and was getting really upset.

I'm actually not sure if they have a website... Oh wow, they do!
http://www.cirillas.com/

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:50:17 PM   
camille65


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

I'm excited!



It's fun watching your excitement! I don't have many suggestions though, this is out of my league but hopefully some folks will wander by with some good ideas.

Have you written up a basic plan of what you want to have happen?
And what you don't want to have happen.
A lot of people use a safe word, when spoken all activity stops or however you want to utilize it.
If having a strap-on used on you is new, I'd do research on that. On how to play safely.


One thing that concerns me, is her drop in libido. Does she take daily medication? Many of those can have that impact. It could be a physical problem (does she routinely see her Gyn or regular doctor?).

It seems like that is something that you need to track down. I know you're caught up in the thrill of whats coming up, but sometimes GandG once you finish an elaborate scene there is sort of an emotional crash. Not just for the bottom but also for the top person. I'd do some reading on that too.

I hope that when this all pulls together that you have fun! To me having fun is the main point of all this stuff that falls under WIITWD.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:51:31 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

This is what I was opting for, but she wouldn't hear of it. She kept saying "What if I get something too big? Or too small? What if I buy a realistic looking penis and you don't want that, or vice-versa?!" and was getting really upset.

So scribble down some basic parameters and then tell her: "Anything within this range of options. Go!"

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


NihilusZero.com

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:52:41 PM   
NihilusZero


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Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

It's fun watching your excitement! I don't have many suggestions though, this is out of my league but hopefully some folks will wander by with some good ideas.

Have you written up a basic plan of what you want to have happen?
And what you don't want to have happen.
A lot of people use a safe word, when spoken all activity stops or however you want to utilize it.
If having a strap-on used on you is new, I'd do research on that. On how to play safely.


One thing that concerns me, is her drop in libido. Does she take daily medication? Many of those can have that impact. It could be a physical problem (does she routinely see her Gyn or regular doctor?).

It seems like that is something that you need to track down. I know you're caught up in the thrill of whats coming up, but sometimes GandG once you finish an elaborate scene there is sort of an emotional crash. Not just for the bottom but also for the top person. I'd do some reading on that too.

I hope that when this all pulls together that you have fun! To me having fun is the main point of all this stuff that falls under WIITWD.

Alright. For how thorough and applicable the response is:

10 points.




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


NihilusZero.com

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:54:15 PM   
GiveandGive


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Oh man, I just checked out their website. For some reason, they don't have anything listed!

I don't get why! Their actual store has a lot of stuff.

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:54:28 PM   
camille65


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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:57:39 PM   
NihilusZero


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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

For some reason, they don't have anything listed!

Huh?

http://www.cirillas.com/products/vibrators.html
http://www.cirillas.com/products/cockrings.html
http://www.cirillas.com/products/plugs.html
http://www.cirillas.com/products/fetish.html


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


NihilusZero.com

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:58:49 PM   
GiveandGive


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quote:


ORIGINAL: camille65

One thing that concerns me, is her drop in libido. Does she take daily medication?


Yeah, she takes a lot. Other than birth control, she's on medication for four other things. She has interstitial cystitis, Hypothyroidism, Bi-polar, and recently she's been having heart problems. We went to the hospital last friday for a lot of tests, and they all came back negative, so we don't know what is going on with that. Interstitial Cystitis makes it so a lot of women can't even have sex, due to the pain. However, she claims that she enjoys pain, so she says that it doesn't really bother her too much.

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 9:59:49 PM   
GiveandGive


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

For some reason, they don't have anything listed!

Huh?

http://www.cirillas.com/products/vibrators.html
http://www.cirillas.com/products/cockrings.html
http://www.cirillas.com/products/plugs.html
http://www.cirillas.com/products/fetish.html



I meant in comparison to the store. Only a handful of items on each page, when the store has so, so much more. It's just strange to me.

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 10:01:55 PM   
NihilusZero


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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

I meant in comparison to the store. Only a handful of items on each page, when the store has so, so much more. It's just strange to me.

Ah. Well, they probably only advertise the things they're likely to almost always have in stock.

At least it's a starting point from some window shopping.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


NihilusZero.com

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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 10:06:02 PM   
camille65


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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GiveandGive

quote:


ORIGINAL: camille65

One thing that concerns me, is her drop in libido. Does she take daily medication?


Yeah, she takes a lot. Other than birth control, she's on medication for four other things. She has interstitial cystitis, Hypothyroidism, Bi-polar, and recently she's been having heart problems. We went to the hospital last friday for a lot of tests, and they all came back negative, so we don't know what is going on with that. Interstitial Cystitis makes it so a lot of women can't even have sex, due to the pain. However, she claims that she enjoys pain, so she says that it doesn't really bother her too much.



I'm sorry. Yes that will definitely do a number on libido, especially if she is taking any basic antidepressant on top of it (most with that stuff wrong do take one). At one point pretty much all I could feel was pain that was being inflicted on me, orgasming was impossible. Hopefully though once her medical issues are stable, the rest will bounce back.

At Walmart I found a cream called Finally, somewhere over near condoms/lubes type stuff. It claims to intensify sex for females and it does work a bit, not great but a bit.

I did learn that it really is possible to have fun sex without an orgasm! I stopped fighting for one then feeling sad that it was so close or not even close lol. So I accepted it and moved around it. Not a fast process. Then when I finally became okay with it, nearly 1/2 my libido returned!

Anyway sorry to go off on a tangent, you sound like a pretty solid guy and I'm confident you both can find a way to fullfil this fantasy.

Just keep asking questions!!

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: Forced Bi? - 1/31/2010 10:26:43 PM   
GiveandGive


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Joined: 1/28/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I'm sorry. Yes that will definitely do a number on libido, especially if she is taking any basic antidepressant on top of it (most with that stuff wrong do take one). At one point pretty much all I could feel was pain that was being inflicted on me, orgasming was impossible. Hopefully though once her medical issues are stable, the rest will bounce back.

At Walmart I found a cream called Finally, somewhere over near condoms/lubes type stuff. It claims to intensify sex for females and it does work a bit, not great but a bit.

I did learn that it really is possible to have fun sex without an orgasm! I stopped fighting for one then feeling sad that it was so close or not even close lol. So I accepted it and moved around it. Not a fast process. Then when I finally became okay with it, nearly 1/2 my libido returned!

Anyway sorry to go off on a tangent, you sound like a pretty solid guy and I'm confident you both can find a way to fullfil this fantasy.

Just keep asking questions!!


I'd feel embarrassed to suggest that to her. I'm not sure if she'd even want to do that, I think she'd be afraid.


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