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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 2:59:41 PM

Jeffff

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I have it BAD for June. She continues to play hard to get. I will not be swayed!

Ward

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:00:18 PM

LadyNTrainer

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Gender is a spectrum, and so is sexual orientation. I don't care what another person's sexual orientation is; it does not threaten me personally if they are gay or bi or straight, male or female or transgender, dominant or submissive. Viva diversity; it's what makes the leather community such a cool place. We all have things to share with each other, and if we don't hang together to support one another and fight for our freedom to be who we are, the religious right will be delighted to swoop in and hang us all, separately.

It's not somebody's gender or sexual orientation that matters when it comes to my personal opinion of them. Obviously I'm not going to date a male dom, or a gay man, but I don't judge someone's worth as a human being or a friend based on whether or not I want to fuck them. That's pretty reprehensible. Other criteria are what count, like whether the person is honest and decent and courteous, or is a total asshat.

No matter what orientation you are, if you are a decent human being with good manners, then I'm happy to stand by your side and call you a brother or sister in leather. If you're an asshat with bad manners, then I don't care if we happen to share a kink. In fact it's embarrassing if we do, because you're a poor representation of my community. I've run into asshats of both the male and female dominant variety, and frankly there just isn't much to choose from between them. I prefer to avoid them both. I also have friends on all parts of the gender and BDSM spectrum, and they are good human beings. I think it's a bad mistake to judge someone solely based on their sexual or BDSM orientation, and it's really no better than being a homophobe or any other kind of bigot.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:08:34 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

I've seen this work both ways. There are MANY male dominants who are quite belittling and hostile toward female dominants and toward those who submit to female dominants.

In my personal experience, the ones who are confident and secure in their own sexuality are totally cool with female dominants, and are likely to be friendly and welcoming. The louder a "male dom" blusters about switches and male subs being bad, and all women really being submissive, the more likely he is to have approached a femdom or a pro domme about wanting to be dominated in secret. I've seen this many times in various communities, and it would be funny if it wasn't fundamentally about personal insecurity perpetuating verbal and sometimes physical violence.

Basically it's the same principle with gay-bashers. A study done to identify men who were actively hostile, verbally or physically, towards gay men showed that they were far more likely to be aroused by gay porn than straight-identified men who had a socially positive attitude towards homosexuality, eg, "I am not gay but I don't care if someone else is". What you're looking at is insecurity born of repressed desire and self-loathing.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:10:13 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

No matter what orientation you are, if you are a decent human being with good manners, then I'm happy to stand by your side and call you a brother or sister in leather. If you're an asshat with bad manners, then I don't care if we happen to share a kink. In fact it's embarrassing if we do, because you're a poor representation of my community.

Jeffff is my brother and LaT is my sister in leather.

Let that resonate through out the community.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/3/2010 3:13:04 PM >

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:21:23 PM

Jeffff

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When We finally go gay, promise me you will bang the shit out of me?

Jeffwey

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:26:35 PM

winterrose77

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Man, this thread is going places I did not want it to go.

Much like tiger-skin thongs would do, I imagine. o.o

...ohgodwhydidIpicturethat *shudders*

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:28:01 PM

Jeffff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Man, this thread is going places I did not want it to go.

Much like tiger-skin thongs would do, I imagine. o.o

...ohgodwhydidIpicturethat *shudders*

Hey there! June is a hottie!

Don't MAKE me go all anteater on you!

Ward

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:29:29 PM

Lucienne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

When We finally go gay, promise me you will bang the shit out of me?

Jeffwey

Pictures, please.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:30:57 PM

KITTYLECTRO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
.......

I agree with your words very much :)

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:40:22 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Man, this thread is going places I did not want it to go.

Much like tiger-skin thongs would do, I imagine. o.o

...ohgodwhydidIpicturethat *shudders*

Interesting that you feel that way..you start a highly provocative thread and then don't expect it to go the way you want. You are still new, but not that new or you cannot be that innocent.

I don't give a crap who is Dom or Domme or sub or slave or any permutation and I don't imagine many here do. I know some Dom men who are misogynistic and just need an excuse to abuse and I am sure there are Dommes who hate men for whatever their particular reason is.

I also know some amazingly smart, savvy and witty Dommes and sub females. Those are the ones I want to be friends with. I know some amazingly smart, savvy and witty, sexy Doms who I like as well and some of them, I would like to bang the shit out me.
Then we have the sub men. Some are delightful and some are fucked up. Just like all of the above. Some I adore and love to chat with, other sub men I want to smack.

Why? Not because of their proclivities, but because of who they seem to be as people in general.

One thing people seem to fail to realize in this online medium is you can only know someone by their words and body of posts. Unless you take it offline to pm or you speak on the phone and then meet. Only then do any of us find out the real person behind the pixels.

Some posters are incredibly inflammatory like Domiguy. Some adore his sick sense of humor and bluntness. Some hate him and call him a Domme hater or women hater. I don't know him at all, but whatever he inflames in you, just laugh it off or give it right back to him. He likes that, I am sure.

If you cannot stand him and others, HIDE them.

I adore many here and I loathe some and most I feel neutral about. Some I used to hate and now after I read more of their posts and they mine, I find we get along much better.

So you can ask whatever you like since its a free board, but don't act all dewy eyed when the thread goes curvy instead of linear.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/3/2010 4:05:09 PM >

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:58:52 PM

EbonyWood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
.......

I agree with your words very much :)

I don't. Because she's talking about guys who use "all" too much, not Dominants.

Anyone who can say the entire population of a certain group thinks universally needs to see the differentiation.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:59:05 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Man, this thread is going places I did not want it to go.

Much like tiger-skin thongs would do, I imagine. o.o

...ohgodwhydidIpicturethat *shudders*

I don't care who you are. That one there was just plain funny.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 3:59:14 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Jeffff is my brother and LaT is my sister in leather.

Yeah, but don't you work pretty hard on being an asshat?

Anyhow, from the way this thread has been going, I forsee some extra hawt gay incest submission fantasies forthcoming. Tiger print thongs are a must to include, and we want pictures. This is what you should expect when you venture into "Ask A Mistress".

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 2/3/2010 4:00:36 PM >

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 4:09:06 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Jeffff is my brother and LaT is my sister in leather.

Yeah, but don't you work pretty hard on being an asshat?

I never consider it work. I consider it more of a labor of love.

I dabble in asshattedness like Donatello did in marble.

I am a fucking artist!!!!

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 4:17:58 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
I dabble in asshattedness like Donatello did in marble.

So make us some hawt male nudes to decorate the place and maybe we'll forgive you. Don't forget the tiger skin thongs.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 4:18:49 PM

heartcream

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< Message edited by heartcream -- 2/3/2010 4:27:28 PM >

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 4:23:17 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood
I don't. Because she's talking about guys who use "all" too much, not Dominants.

Anyone who can say the entire population of a certain group thinks universally needs to see the differentiation.

That's basically what I said. Some het male dominants are totally cool, secure and confident in their own sexuality, and they have no need to verbally abuse or belittle others whose orientations are different from their own. They get along great with femdoms, gay and trans people, etc. Some men who call themselves dominant are acting out of a fundamental insecurity that makes them want to bluff, bluster and bully others, mostly because they are scared of themselves. They're the ones you'll find verbally abusing people for being different from them. Same applies to female dominants; it's not really a gender linked thing. Assholes are assholes, and they all stink the same if you don't know how to clean up after yourself.

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:39:06 PM

winterrose77

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Man, this thread is going places I did not want it to go.

Much like tiger-skin thongs would do, I imagine. o.o

...ohgodwhydidIpicturethat *shudders*

Interesting that you feel that way..you start a highly provocative thread and then don't expect it to go the way you want. You are still new, but not that new or you cannot be that innocent.

I don't give a crap who is Dom or Domme or sub or slave or any permutation and I don't imagine many here do. I know some Dom men who are misogynistic and just need an excuse to abuse and I am sure there are Dommes who hate men for whatever their particular reason is.

I also know some amazingly smart, savvy and witty Dommes and sub females. Those are the ones I want to be friends with. I know some amazingly smart, savvy and witty, sexy Doms who I like as well and some of them, I would like to bang the shit out me.
Then we have the sub men. Some are delightful and some are fucked up. Just like all of the above. Some I adore and love to chat with, other sub men I want to smack.

Why? Not because of their proclivities, but because of who they seem to be as people in general.

One thing people seem to fail to realize in this online medium is you can only know someone by their words and body of posts. Unless you take it offline to pm or you speak on the phone and then meet. Only then do any of us find out the real person behind the pixels.

Some posters are incredibly inflammatory like Domiguy. Some adore his sick sense of humor and bluntness. Some hate him and call him a Domme hater or women hater. I don't know him at all, but whatever he inflames in you, just laugh it off or give it right back to him. He likes that, I am sure.

If you cannot stand him and others, HIDE them.

I adore many here and I loathe some and most I feel neutral about. Some I used to hate and now after I read more of their posts and they mine, I find we get along much better.

So you can ask whatever you like since its a free board, but don't act all dewy eyed when the thread goes curvy instead of linear.

I was being silly. Tiger skin thong? Ouch. XD And I was joking over Jeffff's post, actually, so no worries.

I'm very flexible about off-topicness and whatnot. I'm fine with everyone posting here and whatever their opinions are, so long as they don't try to enforce them upon me, and I don't think anybody here is that obnoxious.

If I came off as being whiny, I apologize; that's not at all how I meant it. I was just laughing along with the others. :P

EDIT: to clarify, the image my screwy little brain came up with was something along the lines of the 102 Dalmations movie, in the scene where the fashion designer guy is wearing the briefs with the head in front, but with tigers. If you don't know what I'm talking about do your own research or, actually, don't, because it's effing disturbing.

< Message edited by winterrose77 -- 2/3/2010 5:43:21 PM >

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:42:31 PM

sexyred1

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Sorry, Rose, if I misunderstood you. We have had so many new people stop by recently with no sense of humor and alot of arguments, that I jumped the gun.

I apologize right back to you.

SR

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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:43:03 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

I really don't want this to turn into a fight thread, so please don't think I'm being rude or accusatory. I'm simply curious about this.

I've known a few dominant women who really, really hate dominant men. They think it's stupid and have zero respect for those men or the women who submit to them, and I've been subjected to a few scoffing remarks from Dommes who know I'm bi, and are disgusted by my choice to submit to a man rather than a woman. (As it so happens, I chose to submit to the love of my life, his gender has nothing to do with it and he knows this.)

So...I have to ask. Dommes, what are your personal views on gender and dominance, and what's your personal reaction to seeing a couple in which the male is the dominant partner?

Please, please, people, don't get offended or angry. I'm just curious.

Bottom line theres assholes around. It has nothing to do with gender. If they are showing disgust for your gender choices thhey are just being judgemental jerks. Thats it. People are people.

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