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RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:45:19 PM   
winterrose77


Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Sorry, Rose, if I misunderstood you. We have had so many new people stop by recently with no sense of humor and alot of arguments, that I jumped the gun.

I apologize right back to you.

SR


I'm sure you meant well :)  Once bitten, twice shy; I can understand if you have a short fuse after a bunch of newbies being stupid.  Don't worry about it.

Not all of us young subbies are really as bad as the obnoxious ones make us out to be, though, I promise.  ;)


_____________________________

~Rose~

"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect."
-J. D. Salinger

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:52:20 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood
I don't. Because she's talking about guys who use "all" too much, not Dominants.
 
Anyone who can say the entire population of a certain group thinks universally needs to see the differentiation.


That's basically what I said.  Some het male dominants are totally cool, secure and confident in their own sexuality, and they have no need to verbally abuse or belittle others whose orientations are different from their own. They get along great with femdoms, gay and trans people, etc.  Some men who call themselves dominant are acting out of a fundamental insecurity that makes them want to bluff, bluster and bully others, mostly because they are scared of themselves.  They're the ones you'll find verbally abusing people for being different from them.  Same applies to female dominants; it's not really a gender linked thing.  Assholes are assholes, and they all stink the same if you don't know how to clean up after yourself.



You're right. Its a calling yourself  one vs being one thing. I was speaking from (I believe) the second position. How or why the first group act the way they do, well, I can't say.
 
PS I agree with you on the other thread move. Good call.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:53:28 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		nm

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 2/3/2010 5:57:09 PM >

_____________________________

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Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:55:35 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Sorry, Rose, if I misunderstood you. We have had so many new people stop by recently with no sense of humor and alot of arguments, that I jumped the gun.

I apologize right back to you.

SR


I'm sure you meant well :)  Once bitten, twice shy; I can understand if you have a short fuse after a bunch of newbies being stupid.  Don't worry about it.

Not all of us young subbies are really as bad as the obnoxious ones make us out to be, though, I promise.  ;)



I did mean well, I am also one of the more blunt posters, nice, but blunt you will find. :)

And it has nothing to do with age, some of most annoying posters are old as dirt.

(in reply to winterrose77)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:57:08 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		You two want a room?
 
Could be hot.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 5:59:19 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		who, me and Rose or me and Lushy or all 3 of us and you?

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 6:02:54 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
LadyNTrainer

You are just making a boat load of sense with both of your posts. This in particular:

quote:

I also have friends on all parts of the gender and BDSM spectrum, and they are good human beings. I think it's a bad mistake to judge someone solely based on their sexual or BDSM orientation, and it's really no better than being a homophobe or any other kind of bigot.


And this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

I've seen this work both ways. There are MANY male dominants who are quite belittling and hostile toward female dominants and toward those who submit to female dominants.


In my personal experience, the ones who are confident and secure in their own sexuality are totally cool with female dominants, and are likely to be friendly and welcoming. The louder a "male dom" blusters about switches and male subs being bad, and all women really being submissive, the more likely he is to have approached a femdom or a pro domme about wanting to be dominated in secret. I've seen this many times in various communities, and it would be funny if it wasn't fundamentally about personal insecurity perpetuating verbal and sometimes physical violence.

Basically it's the same principle with gay-bashers.  A study done to identify men who were actively hostile, verbally or physically, towards gay men showed that they were far more likely to be aroused by gay porn than straight-identified men who had a socially positive attitude towards homosexuality, eg, "I am not gay but I don't care if someone else is".  What you're looking at is insecurity born of repressed desire and self-loathing.



Quoted for Truth

That said, I enjoy friendships online and off with several male Doms. We can flirt, share, help each other out. For me it's all about their personalities and I tend to hang with the more secure ones. I'm not fond of week men that have to pick on and bully others in order to make themselves feel important. Nah.. not my cup of tea at all.

Fabulous contributions, truly.

And thank you OP for starting the topic and to those who took it seriously.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 6:06:32 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood
I don't. Because she's talking about guys who use "all" too much, not Dominants.
 
Anyone who can say the entire population of a certain group thinks universally needs to see the differentiation.


That's basically what I said.  Some het male dominants are totally cool, secure and confident in their own sexuality, and they have no need to verbally abuse or belittle others whose orientations are different from their own. They get along great with femdoms, gay and trans people, etc.  Some men who call themselves dominant are acting out of a fundamental insecurity that makes them want to bluff, bluster and bully others, mostly because they are scared of themselves.  They're the ones you'll find verbally abusing people for being different from them.  Same applies to female dominants; it's not really a gender linked thing.  Assholes are assholes, and they all stink the same if you don't know how to clean up after yourself.



Again, EbonyWood, this is exactly how I read her post too. You know, guys like you EbonyWood are the kind we like ;-) You show us a great deal of respect and you will always have mine.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 6:28:24 PM   
winterrose77


Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm glad I started the topic too, LadyAngelika.  :)  Thanks for the kind words.  <3

_____________________________

~Rose~

"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect."
-J. D. Salinger

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 7:09:11 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

I'm glad I started the topic too, LadyAngelika.  :)  Thanks for the kind words.  <3


My pleasure. And I look forward to seeing more of you on the boards.

There is always a bit of kind hearted banter here amongst the regulars and if you can roll with it, you'll do well. There are also those who don't have boundaries and so what I do is just ignore them as to not enable them. Trust me, I learned the hard way but now that I've learned, I'm much happier!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to winterrose77)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 7:42:03 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77
I've known a few dominant women who really, really hate dominant men.  They think it's stupid and have zero respect for those men or the women who submit to them,

I've seen this mostly related to politically radical lesbianism, not BDSM per se.  Hetero female supremacists have a more, "Men are beneath me," attitude.  There are even lesbians who refuse to use dildos to penetrate themselves, or their partners, because they don't want any masculine anything sullying their expressions of love.  Did these women you know have male subs?  I'm guessing not.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to winterrose77)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 7:44:22 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77
I've known a few dominant women who really, really hate dominant men.  They think it's stupid and have zero respect for those men or the women who submit to them,

I've seen this mostly related to politically radical lesbianism, not BDSM per se.  Hetero female supremacists have a more, "Men are beneath me," attitude.  There are even lesbians who refuse to use dildos to penetrate themselves, or their partners, because they don't want any masculine anything sullying their expressions of love.  Did these women you know have male subs?  I'm guessing not.



Red, there are quite a few female supremacists that aren't lesbians and quite a few lesbians who aren't female supremacists.

Edited to add: If fact, the group where I encounter the ideal of female supremacy the most is with male subs/slaves. Go figure!

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 2/3/2010 7:51:34 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 7:54:16 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Red, there are quite a few female supremacists that aren't lesbians and quite a few lesbians who aren't female supremacists.

There absolutely exists a significant militant lesbian political tendency -- perhaps outside your own sphere of experience because you did not live for years in the San Francisco Bay Area and in Santa Cruz -- that is strongly anti-male.  I have not seen anything like it, either online or in real, among hetero dommes, female supremacist or otherwise.  There are events, marches, and a body of ultrafeminist theory and literature.  Some people in that tendency also practice BDSM.  Others do not.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 7:59:42 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Red, there are quite a few female supremacists that aren't lesbians and quite a few lesbians who aren't female supremacists.

There absolutely exists a significant militant lesbian political tendency -- perhaps outside your own sphere of experience because you did not live for years in the San Francisco Bay Area and in Santa Cruz -- that is strongly anti-male.  I have not seen anything like it, either online or in real, among hetero dommes, female supremacist or otherwise.  There are events, marches, and a body of ultrafeminist theory and literature.  Some people in that tendency also practice BDSM.  Others do not.


Oh, no but I was a member of the lesbian community in Montreal for 7 years and so I know what a radical lesbian is. I'm just saying that in the BDSM world, they aren't the ones that push female supremacy as a kink.

Female supremacy is the idea that women are a higher species then men and should dominate all men. That is different from radical sapphists who talk of having societies that are purely female.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 8:07:49 PM   
winterrose77


Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		Supremacy in and of itself is grounds for immediately getting onto my spider-in-your-milk list.

You don't want to be on that list.

spiders are icky.


_____________________________

~Rose~

"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect."
-J. D. Salinger

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 8:20:57 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		OK, that one just got immortalized, winterrose 
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3045464


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to winterrose77)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 8:21:25 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Spiders are not icky to me. I dont have any as pets or anything but I would not kill one and I respect them, dont freak out when I see one. I dont want to be bit by one but spiders are okay in my books.

Cockroaches are icky. And wrong.

_____________________________

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I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 8:25:57 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

who, me and Rose or me and Lushy or all 3 of us and you?



*cough* .

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 8:29:06 PM   
winterrose77


Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

OK, that one just got immortalized, winterrose 
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3045464



I feel so loved now!  No spiders for Wyld.  <3

One time I went to walk into my house from my backyard (I was like eight at the time) and when I put my hand on the handle of the door, it was literally COATED in spiders.  Like, my hand was writhing.  They were everywhere.  One of them fell on my hair when I looked around when my ponytail hit it.  I haven't been the same since.

This isn't why I take Prozac though I swear :C

I think I need to go shampoo now.  I hate reliving that memory *shudder*


_____________________________

~Rose~

"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect."
-J. D. Salinger

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dommes vs Doms - 2/3/2010 8:29:51 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

who, me and Rose or me and Lushy or all 3 of us and you?



*cough* .



Oops, I forgot to invite Aynne. Hey girl are you going over the Polls and Stupidity to join my dance party for my birthday? Lushy started it...

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 60
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