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If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fake it - 2/6/2010 11:39:51 AM

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For those who have trouble meeting partners into their kink (the cuckold/stripper thread got me thinking about this, along with the "full toilet" guy, and it made me wonder why don't people just roleplay their way into their fantasies and take "living it" off the table if they know it is going to cause them relationship angst and/or being single forever? Is roleplaying the act such a downgrade that it is not worth it?

Granted, you still have to find a lady that is *ok* with "playing make believe," but if a woman is in love with you, she's more likely to do a little make believe and "talk dirty" about it to spice it up and make it real, than she is to do it.

With the cuckold fantasy, I have seen couples where the woman loves to dress sexy and be "checked out" by other guys. If she has a non jealous boyfriend or lover, they could have a night on the town and he could watch all the guys checking her out, then later in bed she could talk about how one is coming over, etc, and even go so far as to degrade and bind her lover in another room and make it SOUND like a guy is coming over, then have her lover eat her out afterward. Hell, if she was adventurous, she could make it actually SEEM like a man came inside her... Is this just "not enough" for a sub who likes cuckolding? Why do you need more?

I have a few really intense fantasies that never fail to get me hot. Yet I can see them as unrealistic. But if I decided because this is my HOTTEST fantasy it's the one I want to have, no matter what, then I could be on here every week writing threads, "I am so miserable, no man will indulge me in building a plexiglass air tight penalty box, renting out an ice rink and then playing three hours of surreal breath control games with me -- safely. FML."

Why is it all or nothing with a fetish, even if it means being alone?

Akasha

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RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:45:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
"I am so miserable, no man will indulge me in building a plexiglass air tight penalty box, renting out an ice rink and then playing three hours of surreal breath control games with me -- safely. FML."

I got nothing to say about the question, just wondering... would he be wearing skates?

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:46:43 AM

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Because people are nuts?

Ok, really, I think folks get bogged down in the thought of their "happiness". I think too many people feel to entitled to have exactly what they want. If they don't get it, they become sullen and feel cheated. They stop seeing "people" and only see the kink.

Somehow this whole bdsm thing leads some people to believe that anything and everything is possible..... always.

Yep... people are nuts!

Jeff

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:49:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
"I am so miserable, no man will indulge me in building a plexiglass air tight penalty box, renting out an ice rink and then playing three hours of surreal breath control games with me -- safely. FML."

I got nothing to say about the question, just wondering... would he be wearing skates?

Of course, he would be in FULL HOCKEY GEAR!! Otherwise, it wouldn't be the same.

Akasha

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Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Lucienne)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:50:46 AM

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Great thread as always Akasha. I just want to point out for those who don't understand you references, that most of these threads you refer to are being discussed currently in Ask A Mistress.

quote:

With the cuckold fantasy, I have seen couples where the woman loves to dress sexy and be "checked out" by other guys. If she has a non jealous boyfriend or lover, they could have a night on the town and he could watch all the guys checking her out, then later in bed she could talk about how one is coming over, etc, and even go so far as to degrade and bind her lover in another room and make it SOUND like a guy is coming over, then have her lover eat her out afterward. Hell, if she was adventurous, she could make it actually SEEM like a man came inside her... Is this just "not enough" for a sub who likes cuckolding? Why do you need more?

This. I went through exactly this. I met a local man and we had quite a bit in common outside of kink, love for cinema, the arts, similar in values, morals, age, similar goals, etc. When he first approached me, he told me he was a cuck. In fact, it was part of his handle (something btw, most women don't like). I told him that I was actually moving away from polygamy to monogamy as I didn,t find that polygamy was serving me well (I understand it works very well for others and did for me for a while, but no longer). I told him that I was not interested in sleeping with a line up of men to satisfy his fetish. Ok. So we agreed to do what you mentioned above. The problem is, that everything became pretend. Imagine being on top, riding a man, being into him at the moment and sharing intimacy and him saying to you "talk to me about how much you want to fuck someone else... I mean imagine if you were fucking him now and I was tied to the chair watching you". I got off of him and no one got off. Talk about a buzz kill.

The more I explore kink, the more I am convinced that it is important to have very well aligned sexual desires. End of story.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 2/6/2010 11:51:09 AM >

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:52:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Because people are nuts?

Ok, really, I think folks get bogged down in the thought of their "happiness". I think too many people feel to entitled to have exactly what they want. If they don't get it, they become sullen and feel cheated. They stop seeing "people" and only see the kink.

Somehow this whole bdsm thing leads some people to believe that anything and everything is possible..... always.

Yep... people are nuts!

Jeff

Sometimes, just every now and then, you write something brilliant ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:52:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Because people are nuts?

Ok, really, I think folks get bogged down in the thought of their "happiness". I think too many people feel to entitled to have exactly what they want. If they don't get it, they become sullen and feel cheated. They stop seeing "people" and only see the kink.

Somehow this whole bdsm thing leads some people to believe that anything and everything is possible..... always.

Yep... people are nuts!

Jeff

So is roleplaying a rather unrealistic fantasy just not fulfilling enough - or at all?
I have a lot of fetishes that I keep to fantasy because I know finding a partner into it would be unrealistic and/or unsafe. But they still serve a great purpose as fantasy fodder, and I enjoy doing things *similar* and then letting my mind wander.

How many people could tone down their kinks to mere roleplay and still be *somewhat* happy, as long as many of the "other" kinks were met? If you had to do so in exchange for having a great relationship.

Akasha

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Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:53:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
"I am so miserable, no man will indulge me in building a plexiglass air tight penalty box, renting out an ice rink and then playing three hours of surreal breath control games with me -- safely. FML."

I got nothing to say about the question, just wondering... would he be wearing skates?

Of course, he would be in FULL HOCKEY GEAR!! Otherwise, it wouldn't be the same.

Akasha

{drool}

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:53:59 AM

MistressEllen444

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Completely agree with Jefff (in the above post answer).
Also, I think that people are too often here pretending they want something and when the possibility gets too close to reality, they run away. So, perhaps not a real show stopper in the first place.
If someone is so inflexible as to be alone to the exclusion of good potential partners just because of some check box item, then I doubt they would make a good partner on any level.
Partnerships are about compromise and reality most of the time. Probably the reason I have been alone all my adult life and choose well behaved dogs to wake up with in the mornings...not that I have anything against a young, hot sub the evening prior.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 11:54:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
"I am so miserable, no man will indulge me in building a plexiglass air tight penalty box, renting out an ice rink and then playing three hours of surreal breath control games with me -- safely. FML."

I got nothing to say about the question, just wondering... would he be wearing skates?

Of course, he would be in FULL HOCKEY GEAR!! Otherwise, it wouldn't be the same.

Akasha

Speaking of fetishes... when are you flying up to Montreal so that we can abduct Carey Price, hold him prisonner and whip that bad little party boy into shape? ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 12:02:32 PM

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From: Pyroaquatica
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I do not see myself having a particular fetish(this this and this must be a SPECIFIC WAY omg so hawt). Sure there are things I like to do but they are not required for contentment.

Nope, give me the trust/cuddles/affection/honesty/and other typical(atypical?) relationship things.

She leads the dance and we dance.

....hmmm

If the Dominant is willing to give the submissive a substitute instead of the real thing (for whatever reason) does that not show that the Dominant is willing to try? That is pretty giving on the Doms part.

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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 12:02:52 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

Speaking of fetishes... when are you flying up to Montreal so that we can abduct Carey Price, hold him prisonner and whip that bad little party boy into shape? ;-)

- LA

*perks* I would sooooo be up for that, although perhaps not so much on the dual whipping thing. Still I would love to do nasty things to him. We should talk.

Okay I'm going to wipe up the drool now, things are getting messy here.

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(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 12:04:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

How many people could tone down their kinks to mere roleplay and still be *somewhat* happy, as long as many of the "other" kinks were met? If you had to do so in exchange for having a great relationship.

Akasha

I have maintained forever that kink is flexible. For Me it is the person who is important, kink is secondary. Yes I like what I like and I want what I want, but not to the exclusion of everything else.

I work, at present 65 hours a week, that will soon be down to about 50 ish. I have friends and hobbies. I have family that needs some attention. How many hours in a week is my kink really important? Not that many, for Me.

What is important to me is do I like her when we aren't getting all twisty...:)

I would fore go some of my own twists in a heartbeat for the right woman. I woyuld also work on....expanding her so to speak...:)

Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 12:06:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

Speaking of fetishes... when are you flying up to Montreal so that we can abduct Carey Price, hold him prisonner and whip that bad little party boy into shape? ;-)

- LA

*perks* I would sooooo be up for that, although perhaps not so much on the dual whipping thing. Still I would love to do nasty things to him. We should talk.

Okay I'm going to wipe up the drool now, things are getting messy here.

So you do have some sadist in you... ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 12:13:28 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

Speaking of fetishes... when are you flying up to Montreal so that we can abduct Carey Price, hold him prisonner and whip that bad little party boy into shape? ;-)

- LA

*perks* I would sooooo be up for that, although perhaps not so much on the dual whipping thing. Still I would love to do nasty things to him. We should talk.

Okay I'm going to wipe up the drool now, things are getting messy here.

So you do have some sadist in you... ;-)

- LA

Not really, I just have the major hots for him. I would even be willing to help hold him in exchange for being allowed to fulfill some of my fantasies....damn gotta stop drooling, my kitten is going to drown.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
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Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 2:06:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Why is it all or nothing with a fetish, even if it means being alone?

I'm under the impression that for something to qualify as a fetish that has to be the case, if it isn't actually a psychological necessity then it's just a kink.

fe·tish: c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 2:07:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Why is it all or nothing with a fetish, even if it means being alone?

I'm under the impression that for something to qualify as a fetish that has to be the case, if it isn't actually a psychological necessity then it's just a kink.

fe·tish: c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

Regardless of whether it's fetish or a kink, when they're a one note samba about it, it's fucking annoying.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to GotSteel)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 2:45:45 PM

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It sounds to me like you are making a good case for having a variety of play partners. Personally I think that's the only way to go unless you are a straight vanilla that wants missionary sex once a month -- like my wife!

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 3:09:14 PM

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I am a drag. I can't stand roleplaying.

My brain is to big.

You are not a cute little school girl...You look ridiculous.

If I am not going to cut you it might as well be a spork that I am wielding.

There is no planet called Gor.

You are not getting fucked by a stranger....You know you are not. So quit acting like such a douche. You are really starting to piss me off.

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RE: If your fetish is making you miserable, why not fak... - 2/6/2010 3:11:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I am a drag. I can't stand roleplaying.

My brain is to big.

You are not a cute little school girl...You look ridiculous.

If I am not going to cut you it might as well be a spork that I am wielding.

There is no planet called Gor.

You are not getting fucked by a stranger....You know you are not. So quit acting like such a douche. You are really starting to piss me off.

So go take a piss then!

(in reply to domiguy)

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