MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Well, you all were right about him... (2/8/2010 1:50:23 PM)
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Respectfully, based on the below from another thread by the the OP... quote:
ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie When we first began talking, one of the things he said was "I will hurt you on occasion, but I will not damage you" (yes, he is a sadistic man, but thats okay, we are finding out that i tend to be masochistic) ETA- yes, he did push me to my safeword, but I really did enjoy it, and was even saddened when the marks the cane left faded. I think we were testing my pain limits, which is something I am definatly interested in. Next time, i will be able to take more pain that I did the first time, and so on. I don't believe things are as one-sided as they're being presented. Appears there were issues on both sides of the slash in this coupling, and likely the OP entered into this dynamic with eyes-wide-shut!!! Going the 'nilla route may or may not work... most who do, eventually end up returning to this dynamic, only to hurt their other 'nilla half. A bit of self-reflection is in order here... try to ascertain (as best you can) what it is about a "Power Dynamic" that you (OP) desire and why... then take your time thinking about EXACTLY what type of dynamic you seek by way of the ACTIVITIES that you desire (filling out a BDSM Checklist is a good start) and ignore the sub, slave, little girl, etc. labels; as those things can mean very different things to different people... Example: a "Daddy Dom" can be "sadistic" as well, or not at all... as is the case with a Dom or Master (or Domme/Mistress). OP... you may have entered this with a bit of "sub-frenzy". Next time, move forward with a potential Top in the SAME way you'd do so with a 'nilla person; i.e., focus on the person first and the kink second. And remember this... NO TOP IS GOING TO SOLVE ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS. Too many s-types unknowingly go into a "Power Dynamic" with a "rescue" mentality, as do many Tops with a "White Knight" mentality. It doesn't work and never can, as one person eventually becomes a BURDEN to the other... who ultimately becomes resentful of that burden. Good Luck!!! [:)]
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