RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2

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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/21/2010 7:02:58 PM

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velt... I'm not sure how your post has anything to do with the topic at hand, that is a Domme's sexuality.

... nor am I sure how a man has oral sex with himself unless he is either a contortionist or hung like a moose...

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to velt)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/21/2010 7:05:17 PM

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Cookies?? I want some too, dammit

We had a boy who asked that we not perform oral on him - he begged prettily enough, we refrained ...

If someone were ordered to perform oral sex on another - that would be a submissive act ... but what makes it submissive is the following of orders. Not the act itself.

I blame the porn industry for a lot of people's sexual issues these days. Let's portray unrealistic sizes, people who randomly engage in "odd" sex acts with their friends, lovers ... and what the hell, random strangers too ... then people without real experience in those areas will think that's how things really are and we can really screw up some lives ... sure, sounds like a good idea ...

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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/21/2010 10:01:01 PM

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<Never post in top space. Never post in top space. Never post in top space......>

So what to you are some of the misconceptions you encounter regularly about dominant women and their sexuality?

I'll make it simple.

For those who have misconceptions, they are living in the fantasy world. They don't bother to know Me as a Dominant or a woman. What they have conjured in their head is so one dimensional that even the greatest fantasy doesn't hold a candle to the big picture.

Sooner or later, when the leather skirt is unzipped, the corset is unlaced, and the boots come off.... Heck, maybe even that old football jersey comes out. Mind still flooded with endorpins, eyes lit up, blood still pumping, in that zone where everything is right all at once. The hair cascades from her shoulders just right. She's still the most beautiful creature in all of the world in the eyes of the boy who kneels for her. When he says 'yes Mistress' in the same tone once her hair has been brushed or the make-up has faded. When the desire is even stronger because she can be all of who she is when he's with her.....

That's what the real sexuality is about.

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(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 2:05:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<Never post in top space. Never post in top space. Never post in top space......>

So what to you are some of the misconceptions you encounter regularly about dominant women and their sexuality?

I'll make it simple.

For those who have misconceptions, they are living in the fantasy world. They don't bother to know Me as a Dominant or a woman. What they have conjured in their head is so one dimensional that even the greatest fantasy doesn't hold a candle to the big picture.

Sooner or later, when the leather skirt is unzipped, the corset is unlaced, and the boots come off.... Heck, maybe even that old football jersey comes out. Mind still flooded with endorpins, eyes lit up, blood still pumping, in that zone where everything is right all at once. The hair cascades from her shoulders just right. She's still the most beautiful creature in all of the world in the eyes of the boy who kneels for her. When he says 'yes Mistress' in the same tone once her hair has been brushed or the make-up has faded. When the desire is even stronger because she can be all of who she is when he's with her.....

That's what the real sexuality is about.

This post is excellent and hits the nail right on the head!

I am just as dangerous in my pajamas and slippers as I am in my vamp outfit! I am just as dominant when I go down and eat his cock as I am when I have him naked on his hands and knees.
Sensation play is something I really love and I will join in. I remember sitting astride him semi naked with my violet wand and running it along his body before using it on myself. He suddenly dropped, looked at me and said 'please don't do that or you will spoil it'. I asked him what he meant and he said 'it just looks so un-dominant'.
Its a sad day when it suddenly dawns on you that this sub laying in front of you is nothing but a selfish little fantasist.

I can't possibly have a relationship with a man/woman like that. To fulfill someone elses desires and not quench my own would be a submissive act or make me into his entertainer and that I will never be.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 4:08:27 AM

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I believe that is why many refer to 'sessions' as 'play time.' I believe that when I go to the trouble to get all dressed up on the corsets and heels, it's just playing the part. It ads to the excitement for me and my boy and I find it fun. However, my newly written profile says "No Sex or Sexual Contact." over and over as I'm just sick and tired of what I find to be the most common misconception about FemDom sexuality. That we are just hot little sluts in fetish gear that get all worked up to a frenzy by ordering a man around a little or maybe putting a few clothes pins on him... then we are so overcome with lust that we just have to throw the sub down and force him to have sex over and over and over.

Wrong.

Many know that I was having a very satisfying sexual relationship with my best boy last year. But in the three years (approximately) that I've been on CM and actively looking for a long term sub, I have met 6 men from this site. Three just didn't click at all. One was with me for a few months but we called it off because we were just in different places. One has been with me the entire three years, but only visits on rare occasions and HIS hard limit is 'No sex', which I find very amusing. Only Best Boy had sex with me. Why that one? Because we were genuinely attracted to each other. Not just in a He's Hot / She's Hot kind of way... but because we were friends first, Dom/sub second, and the sex just sort of naturally flowed along in third place. So, one in six had the magic combination that flipped my triggers enough to make me actually WANT to have sex with him. I would think that most guys who are only looking to skip to the sex would be happier to be told, "It's not going to happen" - when there is a slight possibility - than to feel like they were mislead.

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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 4:37:13 AM

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quote:

That's what the real sexuality is about.

Agreed. ;-)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 4:39:04 AM

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quote:

I would think that most guys who are only looking to skip to the sex would be happier to be told, "It's not going to happen" - when there is a slight possibility - than to feel like they were mislead.

That is interesting. Most men that I meet here aren't looking for sex but rather for an S&M session. But to be honest, I've discovered over the years the amount of intimacy I personally need to do any of these activities with someone and truly enjoy it.

I'm really glad that one of the things that is coming out of this thread is that we have very different needs and desires as we are all individuals. I think a lot of men forget this.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 4:40:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
Cookies?? I want some too, dammit

Go ahead and have some! It's not like any boy is earning them ;-)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 8:24:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

I believe that is why many refer to 'sessions' as 'play time.' I believe that when I go to the trouble to get all dressed up on the corsets and heels, it's just playing the part. It ads to the excitement for me and my boy and I find it fun. However, my newly written profile says "No Sex or Sexual Contact." over and over as I'm just sick and tired of what I find to be the most common misconception about FemDom sexuality. That we are just hot little sluts in fetish gear that get all worked up to a frenzy by ordering a man around a little or maybe putting a few clothes pins on him... then we are so overcome with lust that we just have to throw the sub down and force him to have sex over and over and over.

Wrong.

Just in case my post was confusing. I do not have sex with just any male sub, only with one that I am in a full on relationship with.

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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 8:42:45 AM

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The post that MsStarlett wrote about us getting so worked up that we throw the boy down and "force" (gigglesnort) the boy to have sex over and over is kind of what I was referring to when I said that they seem to think that kinky = easy or slut. Because, obviously, if a woman is submissive, all you have to do is order her to have sex with you and she will, and if she's Dominant, then her ordering you around is enough to turn her on *so* much that she just can't help herself

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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 4:59:40 PM

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quote:

then her ordering you around is enough to turn her on *so* much that she just can't help herself

Well I have to admit, ordering a boy around and him obeying sweetly is a turn on and then it is likely I'm going to need to have my way with him.

While ordering a boy around and getting anything but the kind of response I like (ie: he's being a doormat or half there or obstinate) is going to leave me annoyed and turned off.

Kinda logical, no?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:06:49 PM

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Ah, but you don't dominate just anyone, yes or no? These guys seem to think that dominant women want to boss anyone who crosses their path around, and that act, in and of itself (reguardless of who the 'bossie' is or their reaction to being bossed) is enough to get said dominant woman nekkid and panting ... bah

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:11:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Ah, but you don't dominate just anyone, yes or no? These guys seem to think that dominant women want to boss anyone who crosses their path around, and that act, in and of itself (reguardless of who the 'bossie' is or their reaction to being bossed) is enough to get said dominant woman nekkid and panting ... bah

Oh goodness no! Ok, I see what you mean. Then again, when boys I *don't want* want me to boss them around, I ignore them.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:19:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

then her ordering you around is enough to turn her on *so* much that she just can't help herself

Well I have to admit, ordering a boy around and him obeying sweetly is a turn on and then it is likely I'm going to need to have my way with him.

- LA

Oh good, I feel better. :) Sometimes I can enjoy bossing a boy around and or hurting him without being aroused, but I have to admit every now and then one has found himself thrown down on the living room carpet.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:20:21 PM

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Does he end up with carpet burns? ;-)

- LA

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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:32:51 PM

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Well I think I remembered to put a blanket down. I wanted to keep his bottom in good shape. ;)

It's only happened with two out of the many, on those rare occasions whether he's been the right physical type mixed with the right temperament of submissive. Tall, dark, glasses, plus shy, quiet and willing to take pain he doesn't like to please me... POUNCE!

I don't know if they were more surprised or I was. It wasn't planned either time.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:46:11 PM

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I remember back when I had no-sex subs... there were a few that I couldn't resist as well. Oddly enough, they didn't seem to mind that the rules suddenly changed!

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ourmsbetty)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 5:50:34 PM

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Usually non is still my preference, but no they didn't seem to mind.

Although I do worry a little about perhaps misusing my authority a bit. I am aware it's possible that one just might not say no because he feels pressured to obey.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 6:12:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
... nor am I sure how a man has oral sex with himself unless he is either a contortionist or hung like a moose...

I have one who can do it. He's neither, just reasonably limber and fit. :)

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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 8:55:20 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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Well, i heard there are cookies on this post, too! And since i gave up sex for lent, cookies are all i eat! ;-)

As i have read through this thread, i am not sure what i can add. myself, i met and dated several Dommes before the Internet/porn explosion. When i met these Ladies, i met intelligent, professional, ambitious Ladies who i had no idea were Dommes until later.

So i have always taken it for granted that Dominant Women are no different than vanilla Women, until it comes to the lovemaking! <smiles> Which means, no two are alike ... each has different likes, dislikes, preferences and so on ... and so forth ...

The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts them on a pedestal, and allows You to take control.

Many vanilla Women do not. Even though they will fight for control for years ... but a man cannot give it to them easily, or they lose respect for the man. Sad but true in my experience.

But there were several points made here that i will comment on.

1. There is nothing sexier than a Lady one has deep feelings about, in the morning with Her hair unbrushed, no make up, wearing only my shirt. Lady Pact mentioned this earlier. And i agree, 100 per cent.

i have told a number of vanilla Ladies this, and they cannot believe it ... LOL ... come on girls ... like i am not a subject matter expert? LOL

2. i do enjoy having oral performed on me. But i have always felt a little bit guilty about it. Because it seems so one sided. So i have asked Women why they like to do it.

And the nearly unanimous response is the feeling of power and control over the male. Some also add, as Sweet Dommes said, knowing the soft flesh was right there in the teeth. (Shrieks with horror, stay away Lorraina Bobbit!)

3. Some sentiment that men feel power after cumming ... well that is true. So i always sweetly suggest ... a little whipping after, to put the boy back into a submissive state. (yikes ... giving up my secrets and i haven't even got a cookie yet!)

That said, i will suggest, there are a group of Ladies on Collar me, who do not post on the boards, yet do play to and encourage the image of the fantasy Domme in male minds. So sometimes ... it is easy for the weak minded, immature and fantasy player to have the porn image ... not an excuse ... just an observation of mine.

So if You have any specific questions ... fire away ... i will try to answer them ...

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

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