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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 9:23:52 PM   
ohnomo


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/8/2008
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I am brand new to exploring the lifestyle and a guy, so please forgive me if I don't use the right words.  I thought the reason a guy would want to be submissive to a dominant woman is to please her not seek some kind of quick get off for himself.  The internet teasers are not at all what the real experience for me has been like.  I made the leap and let myself be guided through a scene and even as much as I was trembling through the first time, never in my wildest dreams was I thinking of having sex.  If that makes me weird so be it, I guess I am just old fashioned that way.  Someone had cookies, are they all gone?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/22/2010 11:36:43 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
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quote:

The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts them on a pedestal, and allows You to take control.


Oh heck ... this is the kind of sentence the Nuns would have whipped my ass for in grade school ... LOL ...

i meant "The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts You on a pedestal, and allows You to take control." ie submits to You ...

Many vanilla Women do not. Even though they will fight for control for years ... but a man cannot give it to them easily, or they lose respect for the man. Sad but true in my experience.

Dang, all those butt whippins in grade school by pretty Twenty Something Ladies ... no wonder i am submissive! LOL


< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 2/22/2010 11:54:57 PM >

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 4:38:27 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
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quote:

never in my wildest dreams was I thinking of having sex.


Well different women see it diffently. For some, sex is an integral part of their dominance and for others it's not.

I always found that assuming that a Domme doesn't want sex is just as wrong as assuming she does. They are all assumptions.

quote:

 Someone had cookies, are they all gone? 


Nope! You get a cookie for your great response. ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ohnomo)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 4:42:19 AM   
LadyAngelika


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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

Some sentiment that men feel power after cumming ... well that is true. So i always sweetly suggest ... a little whipping after, to put the boy back into a submissive state. (yikes ... giving up my secrets and i haven't even got a cookie yet!)


So let them feel power. A man with power doesn't intimidate me in the slightest, in fact I find it lovely. It's not like a switch comes on and they turn Dom on me. They are still the same boy to me.

But you still get a cookie ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 4:44:14 AM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
i meant "The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts You on a pedestal, and allows You to take control." ie submits to You ...


Try it one more time... ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 5:18:26 AM   
seekingOwnertoo


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You are quite correct, as always! It should be:

"The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts Them on a pedestal, and allows Them to take control."

Thank You, Lady Angelika

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 2/23/2010 5:25:34 AM >

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 5:22:43 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

Still got it wrong above, it should be:

"The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts Them on a pedestal, and allows Them to take control."


Should it be 'men' rather than 'a man'? If it was one guy putting us all on pedestals I think we'd be pretty narked...
:-P  <-- This is my teasing face, btw...


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(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 5:37:43 AM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Should it be 'men' rather than 'a man'? If it was one guy putting us all on pedestals I think we'd be pretty narked...
:-P  <-- This is my teasing face, btw...



Why do i get the distinct feeling that i am never going to get this right? <smiles>

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 5:39:55 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

Why do i get the distinct feeling that i am never going to get this right? <smiles>


Because for many of us, pedantry is a way of life...
lol


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Sthetic on FetLife.




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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 9:39:12 AM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Because for many of us, pedantry is a way of life...
lol




Hmm ... is it really pedant?

Or is it the pure joy of watching a man struggle to please You?

<chuckles>

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 10:03:53 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
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From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Because for many of us, pedantry is a way of life...
lol




Hmm ... is it really pedant?

Or is it the pure joy of watching a man struggle to please You?

<chuckles>


Can I choose both? :P


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 10:10:28 AM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Because for many of us, pedantry is a way of life...
lol




Hmm ... is it really pedant?

Or is it the pure joy of watching a man struggle to please You?

<chuckles>


Can I choose both? :P



How could You torture me without choosing both? Silly me ... set myself up again!

Could someone please step in and get this thread back on track .... before this brilliant chess player has me on my knees ... begging for mercy!

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 2/23/2010 10:29:37 AM >

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 10:37:47 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
"The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts Them on a pedestal, and allows Them to take control."


Even with the corrected grammar, this one doesn't personally ring true for me.  Other people's mileage may vary, but I find a pedestal a very uncomfy and useless place to be stuck on.  I am alpha wolf to my pack, so I run with them and hunt with them.  I kick ass when ass needs kicking.  I'm even better at getting down and dirty in the mud and blood and guts than they are.  That's why I'm the alpha in the first place.  There is not much room in that meme for a pedestal, or for the idea of a pampered object that is not good for anything but looking at and admiring.  Alpha wolves make very bad pedestal decorations. 


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(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 11:05:47 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
It is now Tuesday.  By this, I mean that I think My mind has cleared enough to come back to this thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

Well, i heard there are cookies on this post, too! And since i gave up sex for lent, cookies are all i eat! ;-)

As i have read through this thread, i am not sure what i can add. myself, i met and dated several Dommes before the Internet/porn explosion. When i met these Ladies, i met intelligent, professional, ambitious Ladies who i had no idea were Dommes until later.

So i have always taken it for granted that Dominant Women are no different than vanilla Women, until it comes to the lovemaking! <smiles> Which means, no two are alike ... each has different likes, dislikes, preferences and so on ... and so forth ...

The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts them on a pedestal, and allows You to take control.

Many vanilla Women do not. Even though they will fight for control for years ... but a man cannot give it to them easily, or they lose respect for the man. Sad but true in my experience.

But there were several points made here that i will comment on.

1. There is nothing sexier than a Lady one has deep feelings about, in the morning with Her hair unbrushed, no make up, wearing only my shirt. Lady Pact mentioned this earlier. And i agree, 100 per cent.

i have told a number of vanilla Ladies this, and they cannot believe it ... LOL ... come on girls ... like i am not a subject matter expert? LOL

2. i do enjoy having oral performed on me. But i have always felt a little bit guilty about it. Because it seems so one sided. So i have asked Women why they like to do it.

And the nearly unanimous response is the feeling of power and control over the male. Some also add, as Sweet Dommes said, knowing the soft flesh was right there in the teeth. (Shrieks with horror, stay away Lorraina Bobbit!)

3. Some sentiment that men feel power after cumming ... well that is true. So i always sweetly suggest ... a little whipping after, to put the boy back into a submissive state. (yikes ... giving up my secrets and i haven't even got a cookie yet!)

That said, i will suggest, there are a group of Ladies on Collar me, who do not post on the boards, yet do play to and encourage the image of the fantasy Domme in male minds. So sometimes ... it is easy for the weak minded, immature and fantasy player to have the porn image ... not an excuse ... just an observation of mine.

So if You have any specific questions ... fire away ... i will try to answer them ...

I thought you did pretty well.

The problem with the generalization thing is that most sensible people know that they aren't worth much.  Sure, the fantasy thing is going on out there.  Thank goodness that it is for the porn industry's sake.  Just think how difficult it would be to market a product by saying that everybody's different.

I think what happens often is, there are a group of folks, on both sides of the kneel, that are still finding their way.  They have these generalizations to go on because they don't have the reality just yet.  In the meantime, the generalizations are hot.  It fuels the fire, the cravings, and the desires about what they hope this is going to be. 

These things don't especially fade away in the course of casual encounters or even short term dynamics.  There's still a time investment that has to happen for us kinky folks, just like there is for the non kinky folks.  Has anybody out there ever dated someone for six months or so, and then suddenly find out that he has some bad habit or another that you had no clue about?  I sure have.

The difference in this is that, in order to create intimacy, you have to do so with another living, breathing, unique individual.  That's a process that two people have to make happen and there is a time influence involved.  You can imagine this stuff all you want, but as soon as you throw that other person into the mix, there's another influence going on as well.  The point of it is, that's really the part that makes it so much better. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 11:08:06 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
"The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts Them on a pedestal, and allows Them to take control."


Even with the corrected grammar, this one doesn't personally ring true for me.  Other people's mileage may vary, but I find a pedestal a very uncomfy and useless place to be stuck on.  I am alpha wolf to my pack, so I run with them and hunt with them.  I kick ass when ass needs kicking.  I'm even better at getting down and dirty in the mud and blood and guts than they are.  That's why I'm the alpha in the first place.  There is not much room in that meme for a pedestal, or for the idea of a pampered object that is not good for anything but looking at and admiring.  Alpha wolves make very bad pedestal decorations. 


I happen to agree with the no pedestal thing.  If somebody puts Me up there, I can promise that I'm not perfect and I'm going to fall off.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 2:23:09 PM   
LadyOddsworth


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

never in my wildest dreams was I thinking of having sex.


Well different women see it diffently. For some, sex is an integral part of their dominance and for others it's not.

I always found that assuming that a Domme doesn't want sex is just as wrong as assuming she does. They are all assumptions.

quote:

 Someone had cookies, are they all gone? 


Nope! You get a cookie for your great response. ;-)

- LA



Depends on the sub you are dealing with and what your relationship to/with him is.

_____________________________

We all have baggage, the question is; Is it carry on or do you need a U-haul for it?


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 4:13:41 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Should it be 'men' rather than 'a man'? If it was one guy putting us all on pedestals I think we'd be pretty narked...
:-P  <-- This is my teasing face, btw...



Takes back my pedestal.
P-------   ( This is me sticking my tongue out in a humourus way )

Edits to add, this is me editing the html because I`m stupid.

< Message edited by Politesub53 -- 2/23/2010 4:14:59 PM >

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 4:17:13 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Takes back my pedestal.



That was supposed to be you putting me on a pedestal?
I'd love to see how you treat people you view as your equals, in that case-god only knows how horrible you are to THEM!

:-P


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Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 4:19:03 PM   
Politesub53


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Joined: 5/7/2007
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I will never be your equal VC, I am but a humble turkey.......lol

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: A Domme's Sexuality, Take 2 - 2/23/2010 5:17:07 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
"The only other generalization i can make is that Dominant Women like it when a man puts Them on a pedestal, and allows Them to take control."


Even with the corrected grammar, this one doesn't personally ring true for me.  Other people's mileage may vary, but I find a pedestal a very uncomfy and useless place to be stuck on.  I am alpha wolf to my pack, so I run with them and hunt with them.  I kick ass when ass needs kicking.  I'm even better at getting down and dirty in the mud and blood and guts than they are.  That's why I'm the alpha in the first place.  There is not much room in that meme for a pedestal, or for the idea of a pampered object that is not good for anything but looking at and admiring.  Alpha wolves make very bad pedestal decorations. 



Thank You for clarifying Your feelings on this. And, although i do not know You, i cannot imagine You as a pedestal decoration. For that matter ... i can't imagine Ladies i do know being good at it for long periods of time, either. <smiles>

No doubt i am going to have to rethink this one a bit ... and perhaps be a bit more ... to quote VC ... "pedantry'. <chuckles>

Thank You for sharing ... it was informative.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 60
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